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Need Help For Day 2!!! :D

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  • Well that'll be a problem then because I'm genuinely cynical.

    How can I be positive without coming across as incongruent and fake?

    Seeing yourself as being cynical is a deeper problem. It's not that you are a cynical person, but that you have cynical behaviors. Why do you choose such ways of looking at the world and acting like such?
    But when I got up to leave, she started talking with me again, asking what my day was like tomorrow and stuff like that. Then we had the crazy makeout. So yeah, I hope it's not over with her.

    The fear of loss is a much more powerful motivator of human behavior than is the anticipation of pleasure. This is why making out for an hour (pleasure) is less beneficial than making out for one minute and then going to the bathroom (loss).
    -Supernova

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    • Originally posted by Supernova View Post
      Seeing yourself as being cynical is a deeper problem. It's not that you are a cynical person, but that you have cynical behaviors. Why do you choose such ways of looking at the world and acting like such?
      Because I grew up in a home where my mother ignored shit and us kids suffered because of it. So now, I don't like to sugar coat things or ignore harsh realities, I'd rather have them on my mind.

      Originally posted by Supernova View Post

      The fear of loss is a much more powerful motivator of human behavior than is the anticipation of pleasure. This is why making out for an hour (pleasure) is less beneficial than making out for one minute and then going to the bathroom (loss). [/COLOR]
      Makes sense, but then why do people play slot machines? They keep playing (loss) in the hopes of getting a payout (pleasure). That's like the opposite.

      Also, how can I use this to get this girl back?

      EDIT: oh yeah, and if loss is so compelling, why is being positive such a good thing? Shouldn't you be negative then?

      Comment


      • Originally posted by SargeMaximus View Post
        Because I grew up in a home where my mother ignored shit and us kids suffered because of it. So now, I don't like to sugar coat things or ignore harsh realities, I'd rather have them on my mind...
        Don't be a victim. It's as unsexy as it gets.
        Learn gratitude, etc.

        Originally posted by SargeMaximus View Post
        ...

        Makes sense, but then why do people play slot machines? They keep playing (loss) in the hopes of getting a payout (pleasure). That's like the opposite.

        Also, how can I use this to get this girl back?

        EDIT: oh yeah, and if loss is so compelling, why is being positive such a good thing? Shouldn't you be negative then?
        Supernova is trying to help you. Here it sounds like you're just arguing for the sake of argument. Or did you really not understand? Fear of loss is a motivator because people are trying to avoid loss. Here's another example: would you wager $100 dollars on a coin toss where you win $130 if it lands heads, but you lose $100 if it lands tails? Most people answer in the negative. Even though the math is in your favor, the possible pain outweighs the equally possible (greater) gain.
        To answer your slot machine question: people don't register the loss but they do register the near win as a win. It's a double psychological whammy.
        Still people hurt more from fear of loss than the real loss. They will avoid this fear, and other unpleasant emotions, and they will avoid you if you insist on being associated with these emotions.
        How do you get her back? You don't. Get her forward. Your own fear of loss is paralyzing you. Stop scheming. Don't wait too long to call her and move things forward. The worst that can happen is she'll say "No." If you do nothing then you're already at "No."

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        • Originally posted by Sase View Post
          Don't be a victim. It's as unsexy as it gets.
          Learn gratitude, etc.
          Oh my, I didn't think it would come out that way.

          I'm not playing the victim, I'm just mentioning that it is a fact that I have an aversion to optimism and ignoring problems because of those experiences. I would much rather solve problems than ignore them.


          Originally posted by Sase View Post

          Supernova is trying to help you. Here it sounds like you're just arguing for the sake of argument. Or did you really not understand?
          I really did not understand. I don't argue just for the sake of arguing.


          Originally posted by Sase View Post
          Fear of loss is a motivator because people are trying to avoid loss. Here's another example: would you wager $100 dollars on a coin toss where you win $130 if it lands heads, but you lose $100 if it lands tails? Most people answer in the negative. Even though the math is in your favor, the possible pain outweighs the equally possible (greater) gain.
          Ok, that makes sense.

          Originally posted by Sase View Post
          To answer your slot machine question: people don't register the loss but they do register the near win as a win. It's a double psychological whammy.
          Still people hurt more from fear of loss than the real loss. They will avoid this fear, and other unpleasant emotions, and they will avoid you if you insist on being associated with these emotions.
          Shit, I think I am associated with those emotions. :/ How can i change that without turning into someone who ignores problems?

          Originally posted by Sase View Post
          How do you get her back? You don't. Get her forward. Your own fear of loss is paralyzing you. Stop scheming. Don't wait too long to call her and move things forward. The worst that can happen is she'll say "No." If you do nothing then you're already at "No."
          Fair enough. I'll contact her wednesday.

          Would you say calling her is better than texting?

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          • Either one. Seems you are more comfortable calling and don't like texting much. Texting works best for me. I like it and I hate talking on the phone. (I have an accent which works to my advantage IRL but annoys the hell out of me when I have to repeat myself over the phone.) Good luck!

            Comment


            • Originally posted by Sase View Post
              Either one. Seems you are more comfortable calling and don't like texting much. Texting works best for me. I like it and I hate talking on the phone. (I have an accent which works to my advantage IRL but annoys the hell out of me when I have to repeat myself over the phone.) Good luck!

              Yeah texting is awkward AF.

              I guess it's kind of like I have my own accent only it shows up in text lol!

              Thanks for the GL.

              Comment


              • Originally posted by SargeMaximus View Post
                Yeah texting is awkward AF.

                I guess it's kind of like I have my own accent only it shows up in text lol!

                Thanks for the GL.
                Keep in mind that you call and she doesn't pick up on Wednesday, it has a higher probability of being out with this girl.

                This is again because you want to make things as easy and low pressure as possible on her. A phone call is a higher level of commitment that she can easily ignore compared to a text that she can easily reply to. When she ignores you once, even on accident it is that much easier to ignore you again and again after.

                It's better to run your own life than to let your incompetencies run your life. The man who you do want to be (probably good at texting) wouldn't compromise the chance at a lay because of fear he is not good enough in one area.

                With that being said, in your situation I would probably do both. Funny text in the morning, something along the lines of wishing her a great day. You should get a sign of whether she is interested or not with the response and if not call in the evening, probably at 8pm or 9pm, but actually spend time on the phone making it about her (if she answers). Have a conversation and playfully banter, then at the end of it throw some kind of bait at a meet up and see if she hooks.
                -Supernova

                Comment


                • Originally posted by Supernova View Post
                  Keep in mind that you call and she doesn't pick up on Wednesday, it has a higher probability of being out with this girl.

                  This is again because you want to make things as easy and low pressure as possible on her. A phone call is a higher level of commitment that she can easily ignore compared to a text that she can easily reply to. When she ignores you once, even on accident it is that much easier to ignore you again and again after.

                  It's better to run your own life than to let your incompetencies run your life. The man who you do want to be (probably good at texting) wouldn't compromise the chance at a lay because of fear he is not good enough in one area.

                  With that being said, in your situation I would probably do both. Funny text in the morning, something along the lines of wishing her a great day. You should get a sign of whether she is interested or not with the response and if not call in the evening, probably at 8pm or 9pm, but actually spend time on the phone making it about her (if she answers). Have a conversation and playfully banter, then at the end of it throw some kind of bait at a meet up and see if she hooks.

                  Ok so, I suck at humor, text or otherwise. I can make people laugh but I'm not consciously aware enough to be able to decide on a joke or play at humor. :/

                  How about this: I try to learn text game as I go, so tomorrow's text will be part of that.

                  How's this for a text: "My legs are wobbly from the gym yesterday. Hope you have a great day"

                  :/

                  EDIT: I'm gonna look over ijjjji's texting thread tomorrow for inspiration.

                  EDIT 2: So I read ijjjji's topic, not very useful as he doesn't have flirty lines and such. What would be great is a topic to help guys develop flirting skills or something like that. :/
                  Last edited by SargeMaximus; 01-04-2017, 03:46 PM.

                  Comment


                  • Ok so I texted her and she got back to me right away!

                    I replied and then she hasn't read it yet apparently (whatsapp).

                    Anyhow, I'm just wondering if I should pitch for the meet or just banter back and forth with her till she does as per ijjjji's method.

                    EDIT:

                    Here's the convo:

                    Me: Well I survived another leg day last night,m just thought you should know. Don't work too hard.

                    Her: I get to do kegs today
                    Legs lol

                    Me: Fun stuff. Keeping to that schedule like a boss

                    Her: I guess so added yoga back in so yeah

                    Me: Yep. You're gonna be a beast

                    Her: I guess


                    I don't know how to respond and I don't know what I'm doing. Am I supposed to just banter with her and let her ask me out? Or should I cut the crap and ask her out?

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                    • This isn't going to end well...

                      So I sent a text to milf. She got back to me immediately. I must say I'm puzzled by her (but not really). Mostly I'm just hoping against hope that I can still bang her. She prolly knows this. Check out the exchange:

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