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Need Help For Day 2!!! :D

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  • Originally posted by Supernova View Post
    It's really up to you. From what you describe, what I would have done is explored the house. I would have asked her about all of her nic nacs and I would have checked out all of her pictures that she has hanging around, or the books that she reads. There is so much to learn about a woman and for me I am interested in seeing what makes them who they are, even if it isn't something long-term. If I was you, I would have asked her about her weekly routine of food preparation because I find this interesting. If she had a fun job to do, then great. Stirring the noodles can be entertaining if you make it so.
    Ok, the only reason I didn't help her was because I thought it would make me seem "beta" and make me lose standing in her eyes. I won't make that mistake again. Thanks for clarifying this for me.

    Originally posted by Supernova View Post

    It's the difference between, "Shit my day was rough, glad I hit the gym." And "Omg I blasted my pecs today, feels awesome, thought you should know!"
    Ok but, is this a fundamental thing (i.e. you have to be positive or things won';t work?) or is it a personal preference?

    I ask because we had a convo via text a few days ago about the gym. She texts me "Bloody leg day!!!!!!" and we get talking. eventually it comes out that I'm doing leg day too and she's like "That sucks" and I'm like "Yeah, not looking forward"

    In this instance we are bonding over our mutual disdain for leg day. Is that better than being positive? That's what I'm wondering. I'm also wondering if I all of a sudden go Mr. Positive if it'll freak her out because it won't be congruent.


    Originally posted by Supernova View Post
    They are amazing creatures and worth the effort. Try not to call people trolls when it is not warranted though. The group of guys here are top notch for character and their willingness to help. Just being a part of the group and interacting will bring your game up in ways that you may not notice. [/COLOR]
    Fair enough. I just don't like being downvoted without being told what I can do to improve. that is just not cool.

    EDIT: Oh, btw, in regards to "giving her space". I'm wondering why one couldn't, say, make out (as in, lips and tongues touching) for, say, an hour straight, and then give her space.

    I get the feeling that wouldn't work (because that was kind of what I was going for last friday, but obviously she didn't respond well) so... is it more of a calibration thing again?

    If it is, how do you decide she needs space vs. needs kissing?

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    • I ask because we had a convo via text a few days ago about the gym. She texts me "Bloody leg day!!!!!!" and we get talking. eventually it comes out that I'm doing leg day too and she's like "That sucks" and I'm like "Yeah, not looking forward"

      It's the underlying message that you want to send in your communication. Sharing experiences about how you can't stand leg day is fine because she is going to feel warmth and connection from you. The only thing I say in watching out for negatives is such that you don't get associated with negativity. People will associate you with whatever experience you give them. This is why if you meet up with a woman and you start complaining about your boss it is not going to go well. She may have the same experience, but she is going to bring up those feelings (negativity) and associate you with those feelings.
      I get the feeling that wouldn't work (because that was kind of what I was going for last friday, but obviously she didn't respond well) so... is it more of a calibration thing again?

      If it is, how do you decide she needs space vs. needs kissing?

      Just give it more practice. When she is pursuing you and hoping that you will kiss her and escalate on her it's a good sign. I don't expect you to see these signs because they are quite subtle. One thing you can be aware of though is if she keeps talking during a movie. If she is not actively watching it and wants more to connect with you, then this is usually a good sign she wants to do stuff with you.
      -Supernova

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      • Originally posted by Supernova View Post
        It's the underlying message that you want to send in your communication. Sharing experiences about how you can't stand leg day is fine because she is going to feel warmth and connection from you. The only thing I say in watching out for negatives is such that you don't get associated with negativity. People will associate you with whatever experience you give them. This is why if you meet up with a woman and you start complaining about your boss it is not going to go well. She may have the same experience, but she is going to bring up those feelings (negativity) and associate you with those feelings.
        Well that'll be a problem then because I'm genuinely cynical.

        How can I be positive without coming across as incongruent and fake?

        Originally posted by Supernova View Post

        Just give it more practice. When she is pursuing you and hoping that you will kiss her and escalate on her it's a good sign. I don't expect you to see these signs because they are quite subtle. One thing you can be aware of though is if she keeps talking during a movie. If she is not actively watching it and wants more to connect with you, then this is usually a good sign she wants to do stuff with you. [/COLOR]
        Good to know, thank you.

        Because during the movie there were indeed a few times where she started talking to me about stuff. I just thought it was because she wasn't feeling the sexy time so I took it as a bad sign lol. Crazy.

        There were of course times where she was silent as a mouse though.

        But when I got up to leave, she started talking with me again, asking what my day was like tomorrow and stuff like that. Then we had the crazy makeout. So yeah, I hope it's not over with her.

        Anyhow, I'm loving this insight, it;s really helping.

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        • Well that'll be a problem then because I'm genuinely cynical.

          How can I be positive without coming across as incongruent and fake?

          Seeing yourself as being cynical is a deeper problem. It's not that you are a cynical person, but that you have cynical behaviors. Why do you choose such ways of looking at the world and acting like such?
          But when I got up to leave, she started talking with me again, asking what my day was like tomorrow and stuff like that. Then we had the crazy makeout. So yeah, I hope it's not over with her.

          The fear of loss is a much more powerful motivator of human behavior than is the anticipation of pleasure. This is why making out for an hour (pleasure) is less beneficial than making out for one minute and then going to the bathroom (loss).
          -Supernova

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          • Originally posted by Supernova View Post
            Seeing yourself as being cynical is a deeper problem. It's not that you are a cynical person, but that you have cynical behaviors. Why do you choose such ways of looking at the world and acting like such?
            Because I grew up in a home where my mother ignored shit and us kids suffered because of it. So now, I don't like to sugar coat things or ignore harsh realities, I'd rather have them on my mind.

            Originally posted by Supernova View Post

            The fear of loss is a much more powerful motivator of human behavior than is the anticipation of pleasure. This is why making out for an hour (pleasure) is less beneficial than making out for one minute and then going to the bathroom (loss). [/COLOR]
            Makes sense, but then why do people play slot machines? They keep playing (loss) in the hopes of getting a payout (pleasure). That's like the opposite.

            Also, how can I use this to get this girl back?

            EDIT: oh yeah, and if loss is so compelling, why is being positive such a good thing? Shouldn't you be negative then?

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            • Originally posted by SargeMaximus View Post
              Because I grew up in a home where my mother ignored shit and us kids suffered because of it. So now, I don't like to sugar coat things or ignore harsh realities, I'd rather have them on my mind...
              Don't be a victim. It's as unsexy as it gets.
              Learn gratitude, etc.

              Originally posted by SargeMaximus View Post
              ...

              Makes sense, but then why do people play slot machines? They keep playing (loss) in the hopes of getting a payout (pleasure). That's like the opposite.

              Also, how can I use this to get this girl back?

              EDIT: oh yeah, and if loss is so compelling, why is being positive such a good thing? Shouldn't you be negative then?
              Supernova is trying to help you. Here it sounds like you're just arguing for the sake of argument. Or did you really not understand? Fear of loss is a motivator because people are trying to avoid loss. Here's another example: would you wager $100 dollars on a coin toss where you win $130 if it lands heads, but you lose $100 if it lands tails? Most people answer in the negative. Even though the math is in your favor, the possible pain outweighs the equally possible (greater) gain.
              To answer your slot machine question: people don't register the loss but they do register the near win as a win. It's a double psychological whammy.
              Still people hurt more from fear of loss than the real loss. They will avoid this fear, and other unpleasant emotions, and they will avoid you if you insist on being associated with these emotions.
              How do you get her back? You don't. Get her forward. Your own fear of loss is paralyzing you. Stop scheming. Don't wait too long to call her and move things forward. The worst that can happen is she'll say "No." If you do nothing then you're already at "No."

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              • Originally posted by Sase View Post
                Don't be a victim. It's as unsexy as it gets.
                Learn gratitude, etc.
                Oh my, I didn't think it would come out that way.

                I'm not playing the victim, I'm just mentioning that it is a fact that I have an aversion to optimism and ignoring problems because of those experiences. I would much rather solve problems than ignore them.


                Originally posted by Sase View Post

                Supernova is trying to help you. Here it sounds like you're just arguing for the sake of argument. Or did you really not understand?
                I really did not understand. I don't argue just for the sake of arguing.


                Originally posted by Sase View Post
                Fear of loss is a motivator because people are trying to avoid loss. Here's another example: would you wager $100 dollars on a coin toss where you win $130 if it lands heads, but you lose $100 if it lands tails? Most people answer in the negative. Even though the math is in your favor, the possible pain outweighs the equally possible (greater) gain.
                Ok, that makes sense.

                Originally posted by Sase View Post
                To answer your slot machine question: people don't register the loss but they do register the near win as a win. It's a double psychological whammy.
                Still people hurt more from fear of loss than the real loss. They will avoid this fear, and other unpleasant emotions, and they will avoid you if you insist on being associated with these emotions.
                Shit, I think I am associated with those emotions. :/ How can i change that without turning into someone who ignores problems?

                Originally posted by Sase View Post
                How do you get her back? You don't. Get her forward. Your own fear of loss is paralyzing you. Stop scheming. Don't wait too long to call her and move things forward. The worst that can happen is she'll say "No." If you do nothing then you're already at "No."
                Fair enough. I'll contact her wednesday.

                Would you say calling her is better than texting?

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                • Either one. Seems you are more comfortable calling and don't like texting much. Texting works best for me. I like it and I hate talking on the phone. (I have an accent which works to my advantage IRL but annoys the hell out of me when I have to repeat myself over the phone.) Good luck!

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                  • Originally posted by Sase View Post
                    Either one. Seems you are more comfortable calling and don't like texting much. Texting works best for me. I like it and I hate talking on the phone. (I have an accent which works to my advantage IRL but annoys the hell out of me when I have to repeat myself over the phone.) Good luck!

                    Yeah texting is awkward AF.

                    I guess it's kind of like I have my own accent only it shows up in text lol!

                    Thanks for the GL.

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                    • Originally posted by SargeMaximus View Post
                      Yeah texting is awkward AF.

                      I guess it's kind of like I have my own accent only it shows up in text lol!

                      Thanks for the GL.
                      Keep in mind that you call and she doesn't pick up on Wednesday, it has a higher probability of being out with this girl.

                      This is again because you want to make things as easy and low pressure as possible on her. A phone call is a higher level of commitment that she can easily ignore compared to a text that she can easily reply to. When she ignores you once, even on accident it is that much easier to ignore you again and again after.

                      It's better to run your own life than to let your incompetencies run your life. The man who you do want to be (probably good at texting) wouldn't compromise the chance at a lay because of fear he is not good enough in one area.

                      With that being said, in your situation I would probably do both. Funny text in the morning, something along the lines of wishing her a great day. You should get a sign of whether she is interested or not with the response and if not call in the evening, probably at 8pm or 9pm, but actually spend time on the phone making it about her (if she answers). Have a conversation and playfully banter, then at the end of it throw some kind of bait at a meet up and see if she hooks.
                      -Supernova

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by Supernova View Post
                        Keep in mind that you call and she doesn't pick up on Wednesday, it has a higher probability of being out with this girl.

                        This is again because you want to make things as easy and low pressure as possible on her. A phone call is a higher level of commitment that she can easily ignore compared to a text that she can easily reply to. When she ignores you once, even on accident it is that much easier to ignore you again and again after.

                        It's better to run your own life than to let your incompetencies run your life. The man who you do want to be (probably good at texting) wouldn't compromise the chance at a lay because of fear he is not good enough in one area.

                        With that being said, in your situation I would probably do both. Funny text in the morning, something along the lines of wishing her a great day. You should get a sign of whether she is interested or not with the response and if not call in the evening, probably at 8pm or 9pm, but actually spend time on the phone making it about her (if she answers). Have a conversation and playfully banter, then at the end of it throw some kind of bait at a meet up and see if she hooks.

                        Ok so, I suck at humor, text or otherwise. I can make people laugh but I'm not consciously aware enough to be able to decide on a joke or play at humor. :/

                        How about this: I try to learn text game as I go, so tomorrow's text will be part of that.

                        How's this for a text: "My legs are wobbly from the gym yesterday. Hope you have a great day"

                        :/

                        EDIT: I'm gonna look over ijjjji's texting thread tomorrow for inspiration.

                        EDIT 2: So I read ijjjji's topic, not very useful as he doesn't have flirty lines and such. What would be great is a topic to help guys develop flirting skills or something like that. :/
                        Last edited by SargeMaximus; 01-04-2017, 03:46 PM.

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                        • Ok so I texted her and she got back to me right away!

                          I replied and then she hasn't read it yet apparently (whatsapp).

                          Anyhow, I'm just wondering if I should pitch for the meet or just banter back and forth with her till she does as per ijjjji's method.

                          EDIT:

                          Here's the convo:

                          Me: Well I survived another leg day last night,m just thought you should know. Don't work too hard.

                          Her: I get to do kegs today
                          Legs lol

                          Me: Fun stuff. Keeping to that schedule like a boss

                          Her: I guess so added yoga back in so yeah

                          Me: Yep. You're gonna be a beast

                          Her: I guess


                          I don't know how to respond and I don't know what I'm doing. Am I supposed to just banter with her and let her ask me out? Or should I cut the crap and ask her out?

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                          • This isn't going to end well...

                            So I sent a text to milf. She got back to me immediately. I must say I'm puzzled by her (but not really). Mostly I'm just hoping against hope that I can still bang her. She prolly knows this. Check out the exchange:

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