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  • Originally posted by Impulse View Post
    Ask better questions and you wont have issues..but asking skills how to fix that is you just nitpicking and being too logical about it
    EDIT: Nvm, I went back and edited that post. I think I see the misunderstanding.

    I wasn't asking skills what the solution to her needing a shower was LOL!

    I was asking what the solution to her seeing through me and my insecurities was, or even if there should be a solution. So it's been edited.

    As for the rookie forum, yeah you can move this there if you know how (mods anyone).

    Comment


    • Originally posted by Sase View Post
      Victor and Clara scene in Pedro Almodovar's, Live Flesh, movie. Watch it. Then let's talk options. Coming out is high risk but she already knows something is off...
      Originally posted by SargeMaximus View Post
      ...
      I don't have the movie but what options are you talking about? And what "coming out" are you talking about? And what do you mean "she knows something is off"?
      You can rent the movie at Amazon.
      The option somebody mentioned of you telling her that you are a virgin. If you want to do it you must do it in a way that minimizes the chances of spooking her. Discretion and non-clinginess are very important. You mention in the OP of wanting her as a FB and possibly upgrade to GF. Not going to happen. Forgetaboutit! The fact you even contemplate that will make her spook. In the movie there is a scene where Victor asks Clara to help him become the best lover in the world. It's a sweet scene if I remember well (I saw the movie long ago so it's blurry.) There is more to discuss but first you must decide if that's the course you want to follow.
      Coming out= about being a virgin.
      I can't explain what I mean by "she knows something's off" Too many tell tale signs. I see Skills is trying to help you, unfortunately it's not something you can learn on an internet forum. There is no substitute for experience. Trust me, she knows. But she doesn't know what is off. She might think you don't like her enough, or too much, or have some hidden agenda, or just that you are a bad lover... etc. The fact that you are inexperienced might be a relief for her or it might send her running for the hills.

      Comment


      • Originally posted by Sase View Post
        You can rent the movie at Amazon.
        The option somebody mentioned of you telling her that you are a virgin. If you want to do it you must do it in a way that minimizes the chances of spooking her. Discretion and non-clinginess are very important. You mention in the OP of wanting her as a FB and possibly upgrade to GF. Not going to happen. Forgetaboutit! The fact you even contemplate that will make her spook. In the movie there is a scene where Victor asks Clara to help him become the best lover in the world. It's a sweet scene if I remember well (I saw the movie long ago so it's blurry.) There is more to discuss but first you must decide if that's the course you want to follow.
        Coming out= about being a virgin.
        Oh I see lol. (I'm dense AF) Ok well, I don't want to tell her I'm a virgin. If she figures it out, fine, I'll admit it but I don't want to make it a thing I use in my seduction.

        BUT, having said that, I wouldn't mind learning how to be a good lover from this woman.

        Originally posted by Sase View Post
        I can't explain what I mean by "she knows something's off" Too many tell tale signs. I see Skills is trying to help you, unfortunately it's not something you can learn on an internet forum. There is no substitute for experience. Trust me, she knows. But she doesn't know what is off. She might think you don't like her enough, or too much, or have some hidden agenda, or just that you are a bad lover... etc. The fact that you are inexperienced might be a relief for her or it might send her running for the hills.
        Hmm, this will most likely affect another woman too then, right?

        It's not so bad if "something is off" though, is it? I mean, if all I'm doing is moving things forward, not being too pushy, giving her space etc, what else is needed? I need to be experienced now? How do people lose their V if experience is something you need to have? lol

        Comment


        • Originally posted by SargeMaximus View Post
          Hey ijjjji! Thanks for stopping by! I definitely learned that lol. But... how do you ever get to sex without escalating?
          By allowing the sexual tension to escalate.

          Comment


          • Originally posted by ijjjji View Post
            I think OP only needs to learn 1 thing.
            Escalating = mistake
            Good advice to someone well-versed in game, but this is useless to anyone just learning how to be in a bedroom with a girl.
            2.- I never advised this guy to text her that shit! he misunderstood, i said in the future used "plausible deniability"
            3.- I have multiple guys, that got directly laid from my text advice

            @Skills this is your fuck up. It was bad advice because it wasn't communicated as good as it could have been and as a more frequent poster who has helped "mulitiple of guys to get laid by your advice", it should be the case you give the man something he can actually use and apply. The responsibility of one's communication being received effectively is only within the person giving the message.
            Sorry if you got offended by the downvoting...I was actually laughing reading what you wrote man and thought you were an idiot..thats just being totally honest with you

            @Impulse The downvoting shit is bullshit on someone who is posting of his honest experience, what he did, and asking for how he could do it better. It's important we have downvoting so that we know when someone is giving bad advice. Clearly Sarge is not giving advice and it makes little sense to downvote anything that he is saying.
            Told me to not be so "gropey" (even though, when she said this, I was only going for kisses at that point, and had downgraded from the boob/leg stuff)

            The show we were watching had rape elements in it and I felt like escalating during that would be a bad thing to do lol. Kind of a turn off tbh. Even though it turned out that the girl wasn't raped, but I digress.

            She told me I needed to "relax" and "chill" I kinda scoffed at it, but I did anyhow.

            At some points, when I DID escelate even after her saying that, she was cold and got stiff (i.e. wouldn't turn to kiss me when I prompted her)

            Eventually, it was time for bed (she said) and we talked a bit before having a rather fiery make-out while standing up (we held each other and I pushed my leg into her crotch, she stopped within a second of that lol).

            We kissed a bit more, she was smiling, and she was the one prompting it. (she'd say "one more" *kiss* "ok, one more" *kiss*)

            And then I was out. She closed the door before I could finish my goodbye.

            So... I'm a bit confused, but overall it doesn't seem too good.

            She says group because you are acting like the guy who is persistent without being able to read her signals. It is okay, you are learning.

            When she tells you that you are doing a bad back massage, you DO NOT do it harder. You stop giving her a back massage, what you did here is rewarded bad behavior. Your mindset needs to be, even if the quality of the back massage isn't necessarily good, just because YOU are giving it, it is the best back massage she could hope for. It is a privilege if she gets a back massage from you, and the moment she doesn't understand that or does something negating it, you take that privilege away.

            Now likely it occurred that you were on the bed trying to kiss and escalate. She probably even recognized your inexperience. No big deal. You will keep getting better. When I was a virgin and couldn't escalate, my friend told me two things:

            1.) Two steps forward, one step backward- kiss her and then move away from her, go to the bathroom after a heavy kiss. She needs to be chasing your affection.

            2.) You need to tease to please- this includes seductive teases such as light kisses on the neck and you going down to her waist teasing and getting her turned on. Sounds like you have a lot to take in on this, but I can always provide more.

            Now what I would have done for this whole date:

            -I arrive and she tells me she is just back from yoga and is sweaty and shit

            -I say okay cool, shower and freshen up, we are going to get something quick to eat (also grab a netflix, gotta pick up a drink from the store, whatever is quick and will change environment.)

            You do this so that you get her to follow your lead. Done right and best case scenario, you leave grab a netflix (pick a dumb movie such as disney that you can talk over and she won't care if she misses.), then return to her house and escalate during the movie.

            This will take calibration man. I can't tell you how many girls I lost when I was a virgin and didn't know what to do in the bedroom. That part was the most heartbreaking, is that I would put all the work in and I couldn't get past LMR. Or something would happen and I just wouldn't get the lay. It fucking sucked. Now I can't remember the last time I haven't gotten past LMR.

            Now for the next chance you will have with this girl, I don't think there will be one. Likely she is going to remember the time you came over and she didn't have sex with you. This is just going to reaffirm her behavior of not having sex with you. I do not believe she was on her period as some of the other guys say as she would have just said it and she wouldn't have had to deal with you being 'gropey'. But if there is the case that she texts and she is open to hang out, then all means do it.

            I tell you this because you need to follow the advise her and you need to get your ass out to social events. Whether this is meetup or nightclubs (highly recommend for social skills) or whatever. You will need a lot of practice and you will need it fast. I did nightclubs when I first learned. I didn't like it and i can't stand them even more now (i rarely go to them now), but they will help you learn social skills quick.
            -Supernova

            Comment



            • @Skills this is your fuck up. It was bad advice because it wasn't communicated as good as it could have been and as a more frequent poster who has helped "mulitiple of guys to get laid by your advice", it should be the case you give the man something he can actually use and apply. The responsibility of one's communication being received effectively is only within the person giving the message.

              http://www.thefreedictionary.com/could

              could

              (ko͝od)aux.v.Past tense of can11. Used to indicate ability or permission in the past: I could run faster then. Only men could go to the club in thosedays.
              2. Used with hypothetical or conditional force: If we could help, we would.
              3. Used to indicate tentativeness or politeness: I could be wrong. Could you come over here?


              You also use could have to say that there was a possibility of something being true in the past, although it was not infact true.
              It could have been worse.
              He could have made a fortune as a lawyer.
              Be Careful!



              "you could have" = "you should do that in the past" No, it doesn't mean that Itmeans that there you had the possibility to do something in the past, but it did not happen. And that meaning fits all your examples: You could have done better on your exam. -> you had the possibility to do better (but you did not).J
              Sexting, my unique natural game, aggressive dance floor seductions, 15-20 minutes hook ups in clubs. Learn the proper way to maximize your results in a club type environment, check out my blog and youtube clubbing channel:

              www.dancefloorseduction.com









              Comment


              • Originally posted by Skills360 View Post

                http://www.thefreedictionary.com/could

                could

                (ko͝od)aux.v.Past tense of can11. Used to indicate ability or permission in the past: I could run faster then. Only men could go to the club in thosedays.
                2. Used with hypothetical or conditional force: If we could help, we would.
                3. Used to indicate tentativeness or politeness: I could be wrong. Could you come over here?


                You also use could have to say that there was a possibility of something being true in the past, although it was not infact true.
                It could have been worse.
                He could have made a fortune as a lawyer.
                Be Careful!



                "you could have" = "you should do that in the past" No, it doesn't mean that Itmeans that there you had the possibility to do something in the past, but it did not happen. And that meaning fits all your examples: You could have done better on your exam. -> you had the possibility to do better (but you did not).J
                As people here focused on being better men, getting sex with more women, and helping others to do the same, I am saying that you are worth more than what your presented post was. Fuck your post about could as this helps no one and take the honest, sincere, and caring criticism as it is intended for the best interest of the members of the forum and for you.
                -Supernova

                Comment


                • Originally posted by Supernova View Post

                  She says group because you are acting like the guy who is persistent without being able to read her signals. It is okay, you are learning.


                  Yeah, I was trying though. But what's the difference between reading her signals and taking the lead?

                  For example, in my mind, giving her a better massage was reading her signals.

                  Originally posted by Supernova View Post

                  When she tells you that you are doing a bad back massage, you DO NOT do it harder. You stop giving her a back massage, what you did here is rewarded bad behavior. Your mindset needs to be, even if the quality of the back massage isn't necessarily good, just because YOU are giving it, it is the best back massage she could hope for. It is a privilege if she gets a back massage from you, and the moment she doesn't understand that or does something negating it, you take that privilege away.
                  I see, thanks.

                  Originally posted by Supernova View Post

                  Now likely it occurred that you were on the bed trying to kiss and escalate. She probably even recognized your inexperience. No big deal. You will keep getting better. When I was a virgin and couldn't escalate, my friend told me two things:

                  1.) Two steps forward, one step backward- kiss her and then move away from her, go to the bathroom after a heavy kiss. She needs to be chasing your affection.
                  Ok but... go to the bathroom after a heavy kiss? Like, every time? (we had like 5-7 heavy kisses... always go to the bathroom or just get up and walk around or something?)

                  Originally posted by Supernova View Post

                  2.) You need to tease to please- this includes seductive teases such as light kisses on the neck and you going down to her waist teasing and getting her turned on. Sounds like you have a lot to take in on this, but I can always provide more.
                  Ok, thanks. I was kissing her neck quite a bit, and her shoulder (even though she had a shirt on)

                  Originally posted by Supernova View Post

                  Now what I would have done for this whole date:

                  -I arrive and she tells me she is just back from yoga and is sweaty and shit

                  -I say okay cool, shower and freshen up, we are going to get something quick to eat (also grab a netflix, gotta pick up a drink from the store, whatever is quick and will change environment.)

                  You do this so that you get her to follow your lead. Done right and best case scenario, you leave grab a netflix (pick a dumb movie such as disney that you can talk over and she won't care if she misses.), then return to her house and escalate during the movie.
                  Ok, well, she was also making her food for the week or some shit (it was already in the oven) maybe I should have just not gone at all? Or left? I dunno. It was just shitty logistics again, and she had to work the next day...

                  Originally posted by Supernova View Post

                  This will take calibration man. I can't tell you how many girls I lost when I was a virgin and didn't know what to do in the bedroom. That part was the most heartbreaking, is that I would put all the work in and I couldn't get past LMR. Or something would happen and I just wouldn't get the lay. It fucking sucked. Now I can't remember the last time I haven't gotten past LMR.
                  Yeah, it's no fun. Especially since she liked me and now it's like everything has gone to shit.

                  Originally posted by Supernova View Post

                  Now for the next chance you will have with this girl, I don't think there will be one. Likely she is going to remember the time you came over and she didn't have sex with you. This is just going to reaffirm her behavior of not having sex with you. I do not believe she was on her period as some of the other guys say as she would have just said it and she wouldn't have had to deal with you being 'gropey'. But if there is the case that she texts and she is open to hang out, then all means do it.
                  Ok. Should i text her in a few days if she doesn't text or just move on? I'd really like to salvage it and I believe it can be done but only if I understand some things better.

                  Originally posted by Supernova View Post

                  I tell you this because you need to follow the advise her and you need to get your ass out to social events. Whether this is meetup or nightclubs (highly recommend for social skills) or whatever. You will need a lot of practice and you will need it fast. I did nightclubs when I first learned. I didn't like it and i can't stand them even more now (i rarely go to them now), but they will help you learn social skills quick.


                  This is what I don't get, ok. I was planning to start approaching again next week... why can't I do that? Why can't I learn social skills that way? Why are nightclubs heralded as the only way to learn this stuff?

                  It just doesn't make sense to me.

                  Anyhow, thanks for the advice.

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by Supernova View Post
                    As people here focused on being better men, getting sex with more women, and helping others to do the same, I am saying that you are worth more than what your presented post was. Fuck your post about could as this helps no one and take the honest, sincere, and caring criticism as it is intended for the best interest of the members of the forum and for you.
                    Water is wet, listen dude, you are telling me, that i should have told this dude better... Wtf! i said you could have used plausible deniability... please show me you or anybody else, were did i tell this dude to text that girl some shit!

                    I do not owe you or anybody shit! Notice how sarge constantly misunderstand what sase said, what i say etc...

                    You want to give advice to a dude, you go ahead, don't tell me how to post, don't tell me i cost some dude a lay when i did not(impulse that is), don't tell me i advice some shit that i did not...

                    I told the dude for the 100 th time you could have used plausible deniability... If he misunderstood that shit! that is his problem...

                    What is the big deal anyways, as i said instead of posting and obsessing over one girl he should be meeting more women...

                    All this texting this and texting that is mental masturbation anyways... If a girl is into you she will fuck you... Look at the retarded shit here, and they still want to fuck...

                    for the 100th time "hang out and relax" when he texted that shit subcomunicates i want to go fuck, all i said is in the future even if the girl is dripping wet YOU COLD HAVE TEXTED, " how about we watch this awesome movie you will like it" which is saying "i want to fuck a little fancier" that is my lesson in the context... how else would you have explained it... I am not coaching sarge, i am contributing just as you are...

                    He needs to get his own experience and fail and shit! is fine next time he probably do better, i lick a girls face my first time, he did 100000 times better than me, he needs to go out and meet more women, and learn from this mistake...
                    Sexting, my unique natural game, aggressive dance floor seductions, 15-20 minutes hook ups in clubs. Learn the proper way to maximize your results in a club type environment, check out my blog and youtube clubbing channel:

                    www.dancefloorseduction.com









                    Comment


                    • I told the dude for the 100 th time you could have used plausible deniability... If he misunderstood that shit! that is his problem...

                      This is the only thing you are missing here. I know he isn't the easiest to get through to (he's still new) and not everyone will be, but it is ALWAYS your problem if you cannot communicate the message that you intended.

                      A specific example directly relating to his challenge is that of communicating to a woman that you are going to have sex with her with watching a movie. If you tell a woman, "I'm coming over to bang you." Then most times it will not work because of the way that she interprets the message ("You see me as a cheap slut and now I have ASD..."), however if you communicate it in a way that she understands it, "I'm coming over with a movie, can't wait to see you!" => "It's just a movie blah blah blah I have plausible deniability." The point is that the response and the success of your communication is dependent on YOUR ability to deliver it and NOT one's ability to understand it.

                      He needs to get his own experience and fail and shit! is fine next time he probably do better, i lick a girls face my first time, he did 100000 times better than me, he needs to go out and meet more women, and learn from this mistake...

                      I agree. And we are all in the process of growth and getting better at this. If there was a more desirable outcome here, we would tell him do 1, 2, and 3 and then you will get the girl, but you can even see that it's challenging for me as well.
                      -Supernova

                      Comment


                      • Yeah, I was trying though. But what's the difference between reading her signals and taking the lead?

                        For example, in my mind, giving her a better massage was reading her signals.

                        It's just like a dance. With enough calibration, you can see when you are stepping on her toes and she pulls back in discomfort. This is harder for someone to see if they had never danced before.
                        Ok but... go to the bathroom after a heavy kiss? Like, every time? (we had like 5-7 heavy kisses... always go to the bathroom or just get up and walk around or something?)

                        It's just a concept and an example. Obviously it would be weird to go to the bathroom everytime after a passionate kiss, but the concept is that she experiences intense pleasure then you pull back so that she will desire even more pleasure. If you give it all away at once then she will have no incentive to chase for more.
                        Ok, well, she was also making her food for the week or some shit (it was already in the oven) maybe I should have just not gone at all? Or left? I dunno. It was just shitty logistics again, and she had to work the next day...

                        I'm not sure that this is that bad. I see it more as an opportunity to get to know her. I hope you asked questions about this and really got to a place of understanding with her on why she does the things she does and why it's important for her (this means a lot for a woman). Again, this is just an example of how I would have utilized this situation, I know there is a lot coming at you in these situations.
                        Ok. Should i text her in a few days if she doesn't text or just move on? I'd really like to salvage it and I believe it can be done but only if I understand some things better.

                        Yes. Text her in a few days something interesting, funny is best. You do this to gage her interest level and to keep it on a low-level of pressure for her. Texting anything to her about meeting up again and requiring an affirmative response could leave you with silence. Something funny that is easier for her to respond will show you if she is still interested imho.
                        This is what I don't get, ok. I was planning to start approaching again next week... why can't I do that? Why can't I learn social skills that way? Why are nightclubs heralded as the only way to learn this stuff?

                        It's good you need to do that. At age 28, when is the right time to say now is the time to take control over my sex life? The truth is that some people have to have many situations just like this to get past losing their v-card. At one date every month, this could take a while (I knew a guy who did this).

                        Nightclubs are suggested because they are the one place that you can get the most practice the quickest. I don't care how you do it, as said earlier I rarely do nightclubs myself these days, but they were absolutely essential for learning social dynamics and being the best place to do so because:

                        -You are in a low risk, low pressure environment
                        No one gives a fuck. If you crash and burn with 10 groups of women, it is unlikely that anyone is going to care tomorrow or even remember.

                        -You have the most abundant opportunities in a target rich environment
                        Going to the popular nightclubs in your town, you will likely find some of the most beautiful girls and there will be plenty to talk to. This is different compared to a mall, where you have to hunt and peck for attractive girls looking for interesting conversation.

                        -You get immediate feedback on your insecurities and what you need to work on
                        Talking to a group of women and having them reject you for "some reason" will give you more of an opportunity to self reflect and find out why they are not attracted to you quicker than if you get a dates sporadically.

                        -The amount of options you can get in a nightclub just are more
                        Say you approach 10-20 sets in a night. Some of those go well and some of those don't, but say conservatively you ask for a girls number 40% of the time (which I suggest you do even more as a newbie), then you have 8 phone numbers to work with. Of those, half won't be girls who are not really interested, but that is still 4 phone numbers that you can now work with.

                        -Some girls in nightclubs are looking for someone to take home
                        At an advanced level you may be able to spot this, but even right now, you are putting yourself in a better position to win if you just put yourself in a situation where the girl is looking for what you have (D).

                        There is a lot here man, it's important to ask a bunch of questions, but also realize that the best teacher that you are going to have is going to be real life experience. It's the reason I say to get more of it and why @Skills says to get more women now too.

                        -Supernova

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by Supernova View Post

                          It's just like a dance. With enough calibration, you can see when you are stepping on her toes and she pulls back in discomfort. This is harder for someone to see if they had never danced before.


                          Well I could see when she was in discomfort, and that's when I'd stop and start from the beginning again.

                          Originally posted by Supernova View Post


                          It's just a concept and an example. Obviously it would be weird to go to the bathroom everytime after a passionate kiss, but the concept is that she experiences intense pleasure then you pull back so that she will desire even more pleasure. If you give it all away at once then she will have no incentive to chase for more.
                          Ok, cool so what I'm hearing is, when you kiss or kiss passionately, you want to give her some breathing room.

                          I honestly think it would be more helpful if you guys just said that instead of using specifics. Because, in my mind, if you can generalize, why wouldn't you? The other side of that is, if you're getting specific I assume there's a reason (hence why I used skills specific text. If he would have just said "give her plausible deniability" I could have gotten creative. NOTE: I still don't blame you skills, I'm just saying that's how my brain works.)

                          So the principle is: give her a break after you've kissed etc. And then... how do you know when to continue escalating?

                          Originally posted by Supernova View Post

                          Originally posted by Supernova View Post

                          I'm not sure that this is that bad. I see it more as an opportunity to get to know her. I hope you asked questions about this and really got to a place of understanding with her on why she does the things she does and why it's important for her (this means a lot for a woman). Again, this is just an example of how I would have utilized this situation, I know there is a lot coming at you in these situations.


                          Yeah no I didn't ask about it. :/

                          I was assuming we were gonna have sex so my mind wasn't on getting to know her better. Guess it should have been?

                          Also, at the time, I was wondering to myself if I should have offered to help her with it but I didn't want to be too provider.beta but I'm wondering now if I should have.

                          I mean, it's important to support and help people right? Could it be that being "alpha" in those situations (by not helping) is actually a bad thing to do?


                          Originally posted by Supernova View Post

                          Yes. Text her in a few days something interesting, funny is best. You do this to gage her interest level and to keep it on a low-level of pressure for her. Texting anything to her about meeting up again and requiring an affirmative response could leave you with silence. Something funny that is easier for her to respond will show you if she is still interested imho.
                          I'm not that good with humor lol. Should I attempt to learn it or should i do something more congruent?

                          So, for example, we've talked about the gym a lot (we both work out) I could text her about the gym or tell her about how it was brutal one day, something like that?

                          Or should I go humorous?


                          Originally posted by Supernova View Post

                          Originally posted by Supernova View Post

                          It's good you need to do that. At age 28, when is the right time to say now is the time to take control over my sex life? The truth is that some people have to have many situations just like this to get past losing their v-card. At one date every month, this could take a while (I knew a guy who did this).

                          Nightclubs are suggested because they are the one place that you can get the most practice the quickest. I don't care how you do it, as said earlier I rarely do nightclubs myself these days, but they were absolutely essential for learning social dynamics and being the best place to do so because:

                          -You are in a low risk, low pressure environment
                          No one gives a fuck. If you crash and burn with 10 groups of women, it is unlikely that anyone is going to care tomorrow or even remember.

                          -You have the most abundant opportunities in a target rich environment
                          Going to the popular nightclubs in your town, you will likely find some of the most beautiful girls and there will be plenty to talk to. This is different compared to a mall, where you have to hunt and peck for attractive girls looking for interesting conversation.

                          -You get immediate feedback on your insecurities and what you need to work on
                          Talking to a group of women and having them reject you for "some reason" will give you more of an opportunity to self reflect and find out why they are not attracted to you quicker than if you get a dates sporadically.

                          -The amount of options you can get in a nightclub just are more
                          Say you approach 10-20 sets in a night. Some of those go well and some of those don't, but say conservatively you ask for a girls number 40% of the time (which I suggest you do even more as a newbie), then you have 8 phone numbers to work with. Of those, half won't be girls who are not really interested, but that is still 4 phone numbers that you can now work with.

                          -Some girls in nightclubs are looking for someone to take home
                          At an advanced level you may be able to spot this, but even right now, you are putting yourself in a better position to win if you just put yourself in a situation where the girl is looking for what you have (D).

                          There is a lot here man, it's important to ask a bunch of questions, but also realize that the best teacher that you are going to have is going to be real life experience. It's the reason I say to get more of it and why @Skills says to get more women now too.


                          I hear you man, but I'm on to something here. Let me explain.

                          I haven't been approaching women for months.

                          This girl I f*cked things up with? I decided I wanted her the minute I saw her. I got her as my hairstylist, and I proceeded to get this far.

                          that is NOT random, that is skill, and it's come from going about things differently than getting random experience.

                          Maybe it's the only way I can learn, I dunno, but unless I'm actually going hard for the girl, I usually bomb. In my case, outcome independence is death because it makes me careless and socially retarded.

                          So, back to my method (which I'm developing, and which I think I'm getting better at), it has something to do with knowing how to socialize with people.

                          a strong part of it is based in "How to Win Friends and Influence People". Honestly, I've done NO game on this woman. I've just done HTWFAIP.

                          So, what I'm trying to say, is that i don't need to randomly approach but i do need to approach more women with this same "method". Call it the Sarge Method, whatever.

                          But like i said, i got to here with this 1 woman and it wasn't from being random. I decided I wanted her and got to where I did. I just need to learn a few more things.

                          I'm finding it hard to articulate what I need to know, but principles are good (i.e. advice that tells me what i need to accomplish rather than what to say) and fundamentals are even better, because there are lots of things that may work for some but not others, yet these same groups of people still get laid.

                          Anyhow, I hope I'm makling sense. Tomorrow it's gonna be approaching and I'll see what I need to know, but if I had to guess right now, I'd say I need to know how to bait a woman into talking about herself. Seriously, once I can get women telling me all about themselves, things happen. It's the same thing I did with this recent girl.


                          EDIT: Speaking of fundamentals and congruence, is there a way i can be direct with women (thus preserving my congruence) without triggering her ASD?

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                          • Ok, cool so what I'm hearing is, when you kiss or kiss passionately, you want to give her some breathing room.

                            I honestly think it would be more helpful if you guys just said that instead of using specifics. Because, in my mind, if you can generalize, why wouldn't you? The other side of that is, if you're getting specific I assume there's a reason (hence why I used skills specific text. If he would have just said "give her plausible deniability" I could have gotten creative. NOTE: I still don't blame you skills, I'm just saying that's how my brain works.)

                            This is exactly it. Give her some breathing room.

                            I try to give both generals and examples. Sometimes the specifics help the generals and vice-versa, but we are all growing here.
                            I was assuming we were gonna have sex so my mind wasn't on getting to know her better. Guess it should have been?

                            She can have sex with most men in your town that just want sex, but more often she chooses the men who choose to get to know her. Which is exactly towards your point at the end of your post of getting her to talk more.
                            I'm not that good with humor lol. Should I attempt to learn it or should i do something more congruent?

                            So, for example, we've talked about the gym a lot (we both work out) I could text her about the gym or tell her about how it was brutal one day, something like that?

                            Or should I go humorous?

                            This works fine. Be your best version of you. Positivity of course.
                            This girl I f*cked things up with? I decided I wanted her the minute I saw her. I got her as my hairstylist, and I proceeded to get this far.

                            that is NOT random, that is skill, and it's come from going about things differently than getting random experience.
                            But like i said, i got to here with this 1 woman and it wasn't from being random. I decided I wanted her and got to where I did. I just need to learn a few more things.

                            For you now this is just fine. Just realize that some people here, consider how far you have gotten to be 30 minutes in a nightclub. If success with women is what you are truly after then it is very likely you will have to grow and change to realize that success. It's hard enough at this game to be rigid in your approach, but at the same time the path is each a person's own.
                            -Supernova

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by Supernova View Post
                              This is exactly it. Give her some breathing room.

                              I try to give both generals and examples. Sometimes the specifics help the generals and vice-versa, but we are all growing here.
                              Yeah for sure. And i appreciate it. I do try to understand things as best I can because I know you guys have a ton of good insight. Even what little I DO understand is paying off huge.

                              (Like Skills' story about licking the girl's face LOL!)

                              Originally posted by Supernova View Post

                              She can have sex with most men in your town that just want sex, but more often she chooses the men who choose to get to know her. Which is exactly towards your point at the end of your post of getting her to talk more.
                              Yeah ok, so I'll do this more.

                              I've noticed that people REALLY like talking to me, so I should double, triple, and quadruple-down on that. I try to understand people and I can't always relate, but I can often understand. Perhaps that's all that is needed?

                              BTW, in your opinion, should I have helped her with her food? I'm thinking I should have. I don't really care if I get placed in the boyfriend role anymore, so long as the sex is regular, because I realized I care a lot about people, and I want to be able to care about women without turning them off of me sexually.

                              Can you help me do that?


                              Originally posted by Supernova View Post
                              [/COLOR]This works fine. Be your best version of you. Positivity of course.
                              Ok, cool. What do you mean positivity tho?

                              Originally posted by Supernova View Post
                              [/COLOR]For you now this is just fine. Just realize that some people here, consider how far you have gotten to be 30 minutes in a nightclub. If success with women is what you are truly after then it is very likely you will have to grow and change to realize that success. It's hard enough at this game to be rigid in your approach, but at the same time the path is each a person's own.
                              Well I'm rigid in my approach (i.e. I want to do daygame and not nightclubs) but I'm willing to adapt and change to do what works. Whatever works, is my motto. It's just I'd rather do what works in daygame if that makes sense.

                              I really do want success with women though. I'm loving them so far man, I can't tell you. It's existential and very personal and I love it.

                              Thanks for all your help too, I really appreciate it. I hope I'm putting it to good use and becoming a worthy male.

                              Comment


                              • BTW, in your opinion, should I have helped her with her food? I'm thinking I should have. I don't really care if I get placed in the boyfriend role anymore, so long as the sex is regular, because I realized I care a lot about people, and I want to be able to care about women without turning them off of me sexually.

                                Can you help me do that?

                                It's really up to you. From what you describe, what I would have done is explored the house. I would have asked her about all of her nic nacs and I would have checked out all of her pictures that she has hanging around, or the books that she reads. There is so much to learn about a woman and for me I am interested in seeing what makes them who they are, even if it isn't something long-term. If I was you, I would have asked her about her weekly routine of food preparation because I find this interesting. If she had a fun job to do, then great. Stirring the noodles can be entertaining if you make it so.
                                Ok, cool. What do you mean positivity tho?

                                It's the difference between, "Shit my day was rough, glad I hit the gym." And "Omg I blasted my pecs today, feels awesome, thought you should know!"
                                I really do want success with women though. I'm loving them so far man, I can't tell you. It's existential and very personal and I love it.

                                Thanks for all your help too, I really appreciate it. I hope I'm putting it to good use and becoming a worthy male.

                                They are amazing creatures and worth the effort. Try not to call people trolls when it is not warranted though. The group of guys here are top notch for character and their willingness to help. Just being a part of the group and interacting will bring your game up in ways that you may not notice.
                                -Supernova

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