Ad

Collapse

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Sex? Yea! Relationship? NO!

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Sex? Yea! Relationship? NO!

    I can't find out what my problem is. Some people are on here to bang hot chicks and one night stands. Other's like me are on here to grow as a pick up artist. Part of becoming a pick up artist is experience new shit. My new shit is trying to get a girl friend. This shit aint happening. It's been 2 years sinse my last girl friend and I have been with 3-4 girls who almost became my gf's.

    Girl 1 : fucked for 4 months. Went on dates bought presents for each other bla bla bla. At one point I told her I couldn't see her anymore because she was still technically married, and the guy was paying for all of her shit (and not living with her.) She started to cry saying I was breaking up with her. (about a week or two after) I asked her if we were "together" and she said, "no." A week after that I found out she banged some guy. (I didn't really care because at this point I knew something was wrong with her) After she told me she did it because I was "untrustworthy."

    Girl 2: hot blonde chick about an 8.5 (I judge hard to) I met her at a bar and got her number. I text her a week later seeing if she wanted to hangout. I brought her over and laid her within the first 4 hours. We hung out for about a month and a half after that. Constantly just having sex. We went on a few dates. She never used her phone around me. I figured because she liked me. She wrote her birthday on my calender as well.. She always wanted to make time to see me. she then went away to college and her whole demeenour changed. I drove about an hr to see her because I really liked her and she started giving me bitch defense attitude... anyways i still just thought I could get passed this nonsense. Second meet she gave me SUPER bitch defense attitude. I think she must have been banging another guy or something (needless to say her pussy was still tight so he couldn't have been a big guy. sad but true lol) She gave me IOI's when I left but I thought maybe she was just happy I was leaving. I told her to call me that night. she didn't want to. Haven't had contact in a week.

    Girl 3 - 6 ft' tall girl. I ended up banging her friend in the past, and tried banging her other friend one night. I later found out she was mad at me for this after the fact I only thought we were "fuck buddies." I don't really understand how girls want to pretend your dating if you are fuck buddies.Any way's she ended up not talking to me and finding a boy friend. She wasn't really my style anyways.

    I have no problem getting girls number's hanging out with them and boning them. The only problem is having them stick around. Maybe i'm just finding hot sluts? I don't know.

    Summarized questions:
    • Why might a girl want to pretend she's your girl friend when she's only a fuck buddy? Girl #3 stated that, "classy girls don't have sex on the first date, its simply an interview."
    • Why might a girl turn completely cold after just one month? my theory is she's fucking other guys or went away to college... and fucking other guys
    • How do you get girls to "Trust you?"



    Thanks if anyone reads this shit.
    ~Show Time ~

  • #2
    Originally posted by ShowTime View Post
    Other's like me are on here to grow as a pick up artist. Part of becoming a pick up artist is experience new shit. My new shit is trying to get a girl friend.
    This is odd. Have you never had a girlfriend? Even if you never did, innovation or thrill-seeking are not major reasons to get one. Pretty much the opposite.

    This shit aint happening. It's been 2 years sinse my last girl friend and I have been with 3-4 girls who almost became my gf's.
    Well yeah, browse my post history. In this day and age, it's far easier to get sex than any sort of commitment, especially from young girls, and most especially if your angle of attack is "player" rather than provider.

    But perhaps I'm giving you too much credit? Let's read about your "almost girlfriends".

    Girl 1 : fucked for 4 months. Went on dates bought presents for each other bla bla bla. At one point I told her I couldn't see her anymore because she was still technically married, and the guy was paying for all of her shit (and not living with her.)
    So you introduced drama into the relationship, and she sounds like an exploitative bitch.

    I asked her if we were "together" and she said, "no."

    Insecurity and neediness.

    A week after that I found out she banged some guy. (I didn't really care because at this point I knew something was wrong with her) After she told me she did it because I was "untrustworthy."
    This girl, at least as far as the details you provided about her, sounds like an emotionally unstable bitch you wouldn't want as anything more than a FB, let alone a GF.

    Girl 2: hot blonde chick about an 8.5 (I judge hard to) I met her at a bar and got her number.
    In my experience, very hot, very young (say, 18-20) girls are among the hardest to nail down for any type of relationship. They just have so much attention, validation, opportunities, thrown in their face.

    She never used her phone around me.
    Yeah, that can be a major sign she's not your faithful girlfriend. That said similar girls were texting other guys in my presence and didn't even hide it.

    she then went away to college and her whole demeenour changed.
    Welcome to young girls game. They tend to be emotionally unstable.

    I drove about an hr to see her because I really liked her and she started giving me bitch defense attitude...
    She pulls away, you respond by over-investing. Results as expected.

    anyways i still just thought I could get passed this nonsense.
    Harmful dynamics with women don't "pass". They intensify.

    Second meet she gave me SUPER bitch defense attitude. I think she must have been banging another guy or something (needless to say her pussy was still tight so he couldn't have been a big guy. sad but true lol) She gave me IOI's when I left but I thought maybe she was just happy I was leaving. I told her to call me that night. she didn't want to. Haven't had contact in a week.
    You need to get rid of your beta knee-jerk reflect to (over-)invest in response to her disinterest. That said, it doesn't seem like this girl wants to be anyone's girlfriend, certainly not yours.

    I later found out she was mad at me for this after the fact I only thought we were "fuck buddies." I don't really understand how girls want to pretend your dating if you are fuck buddies.
    Well, duh, you didn't want to be her boyfriend, so she wants to be your girlfriend. Acting less interested than the girl is a good (though not guaranteed) method to encourage her investment.

    I have no problem getting girls number's hanging out with them and boning them. The only problem is having them stick around. Maybe i'm just finding hot sluts? I don't know.
    See my initial comments above. It's much easier to get sex than commitment. And yes, the girls you are describing sound like thrill-seekers. These are not GF material. Not just because they can't keep new dicks away from their pussy for more than a week, but also because they're NOT INTERESTED IN A BOYFRIEND.

    Summarized questions:

    [*]Why might a girl want to pretend she's your girl friend when she's only a fuck buddy? Girl #3 stated that, "classy girls don't have sex on the first date, its simply an interview."
    ASD. Also see above.

    Why might a girl turn completely cold after just one month? my theory is she's fucking other guys or went away to college... and fucking other guys
    See above. And yes, the fact that she is a very hot very young girl, in college, gets hit on by alphas non-stop, and bangs some of them semi-regularly, is a factor.

    [*]How do you get girls to "Trust you?"
    Don't analyze verbal shit girls throw at you. When a girl says stuff like "you're untrustworthy", it's always that something else is bothering her, and she dresses it up by throwing an accusation that makes YOU look bad.

    Comment


    • #3
      Girls are allowed to fuck other guys.

      You need to re-evaluate what you want. You say you want to learn pickup. That's admirable, in an era where pickup is considered "nerdy." Most guys now just want to learn how to get good at playing by the rules. Fewer want to break the rules, when it comes to meeting and fucking women. But your goal doesn't line up with your actions.

      If you really want to master pickup, I applaud you. But one thing that's vital to walking that path is you realize something very important: free love. You keep chastizing women when you find out they fucked other dudes. And if things don't work out, you assume they are doing "wrong" by fucking another guy.

      You can bang whoever you want, she can bang whoever she wants. That's the good life, man.

      Comment


      • #4
        This is going to sound cliche, but just live your life and when a girl likes you enough as you are, without having to game or manipulate her, then you've found a girl worth having a relationship with.

        1. You don't know what people are looking for in life
        2. It doesn't even matter what they're looking for, because relationships are byproducts of two people who want to continue seeing eachother, and you can't control that.
        3. Trying to force something is like putting a triangle peg in a circular slot, it's only going to cause frustration. Also people will see the real you when you begin to relax and stop caring about an outcome, but by then you're no longer congruent with your earlier facade, which causes distrust. Instead learn to be the real you from the beginning.

        So what can you do? What can you control?
        The only effective thing you can do, is focus on becoming a better person everyday by removing all the bullshit in your character. Remove any neediness, dishonesty, deception, disillusionment, and over time you will become someone people enjoy and trust and want to return to because everyone else in their world is shit compared to you.

        Comment


        • #5
          I've found that it's usually when you LEAST want another GF that the chicks start hunting you hard.

          Comment


          • #6
            You're NEEDY. Fear not, though. I have a solution. Here are the 5 golden rules on how to get into a relationship with a girl:

            - you shouldn't WANT a relationship in the first place
            - you shouldn't WANT a relationship in the first place
            - you shouldn't WANT a relationship in the first place
            - you shouldn't WANT a relationship in the first place
            - you shouldn't WANT a relationship in the first place

            Comment


            • #7
              Basically you've let the idea of having a gf more important than the girls you actually are with.

              I agree with everyone else before me, and adding that you're probably trying to fit these girls in the "gf" category without even considering if they are fit for it, and without considering what their life and goals are like. Example, the married chick.

              So, like the other said, live your life, continue improving your PU skills and improving yourself as a man. Sounds trite but eventually you will be compatible with a chick for a relationship and it'll just happen. Just don't go head over heels and become yet another drama story we see in the forums sometimes, getting a gf isn't "winning the game" and "I don't need game anymore!" only to come back a year later in shambles lol. Just a warning.

              One more comment: a girl's hotness has nothing to do with her viability for a gf...

              IOW: continue enjoying life!

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by ShowTime View Post
                I think she must have been banging another guy or something (needless to say her pussy was still tight so he couldn't have been a big guy. sad but true lol)
                I hate to bust your bubble, but fucking bigger guys doesn't make your pussy less tight. That's a myth. The only thing that might make a difference is having babies, and even that is slight. I have 5 kids and still have guys telling me I'm tight, lol. Anyway.... onto more important questions....

                Girl 3 - 6 ft' tall girl. I ended up banging her friend in the past, and tried banging her other friend one night. I later found out she was mad at me for this after the fact I only thought we were "fuck buddies." I don't really understand how girls want to pretend your dating if you are fuck buddies.Any way's she ended up not talking to me and finding a boy friend. She wasn't really my style anyways.
                The point isn't whether or not you are fuck buddies, its that you disrespected her by trying to get with her friend. It's insulting to her.

                I have no problem getting girls number's hanging out with them and boning them. The only problem is having them stick around. Maybe i'm just finding hot sluts? I don't know.
                Well, you are complaining that they don't stick around...but also complaining that they don't want to be "fuck buddies". Sometimes you have to treat people a little better to get them to stick around. Try giving a little more and not making them feel used. I like the term FRIENDS with benefits better than fuck buddies because if you treat them like a friend and also fuck them it seems a lot nicer than JUST sex.

                Summarized questions:
                • Why might a girl want to pretend she's your girl friend when she's only a fuck buddy? Girl #3 stated that, "classy girls don't have sex on the first date, its simply an interview."

                She's not necessarily pretending to be your girlfriend. She may just not like the implication she is being mistreated or used just for sex. Society makes women feel like crap if they admit to this. Like no self respecting woman would accept sex without more emotional investment.



                I gotta run may type more later.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Thank you guys i really appreciate the analyzing and criticisms.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    If you are desperate to test the waters... Heres stuff off the top of my head (cuz really its so nuanced to do it properly and I don't really want to get into it)


                    Short term solution?

                    Don't take it seriously




                    Long term solution:
                    Make sure she is "GF material"
                    And let it evolve, by not putting any weird pressure on her, and letting her have a lot of fun


                    Cute/bashful works well for setting that kind of frame, or having a strong and safe presence that she finds sexy.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      simple... Like others have said, stop seeking a girlfriend. In fact, almost do the opposite and be reluctant to have a girlfriend. If you just relax and enjoy meeting women and forget about a master plan to get something, all of a sudden girls will be pushing you to get into a relationship, then you give that to one you think is worthy of that sacrifice. The woman has to want it more than you do or it turns out like shit like every other needy AFC relationship

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        You can congratulate yourself.. these girls think that you are such an asshole that you will never, never become betaised enough to be boyfriend material

                        See you need to get used to the fact that a woman in a relationship ALWAYS wants to get something out of the guy: that can be money, safety, communication or whatever other shit..

                        You are fucking these girls Godzilla style and they think: "Ok this guy will never, never be able to be betaised like a boyfriend should" and then leave..

                        Others gave you great advice: you need to be outcome indipendent on the girlfriend thing, then they will begin (believe me THEY WILL!) to chase you to become their boyfriend especially if you are so smart in making them believe that they can get something out of you ( of course you do not REALLY need to give them what they want but you can keep them "on the edge")

                        Do the above and you will have more girlfriends than you can bear.

                        We will give then you advice on how to get rid of those girlfriends later on.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Franco View Post
                          You can congratulate yourself.. these girls think that you are such an asshole that you will never, never become betaised enough to be boyfriend material
                          I very much doubt that's the case.

                          His problem is actually that he fucks these girls with a player frame, then becomes your standard needy, relationship-seeking beta. As a result, he loses both games: the girls are no longer attracted to him as an alpha, but are very skeptical of his sudden shift to beta. Even had they trusted that he somehow instantly transformed to a beta, they probably were never interested in a beta in the first place, or else why would they fuck someone they saw as an alpha?

                          His inner attitude is certainly not one of an asshole player: he wants a girlfriend.

                          Here's his behavior towards the first girl:

                          Originally posted by ShowTime View Post
                          I asked her if we were "together" and she said, "no."
                          Not something an asshole player would ask some girl he is fucking. Second girl:

                          I drove about an hr to see her because I really liked her and she started giving me bitch defense attitude...
                          Standard bitchy response to an over-investing needy beta.

                          Originally posted by Franco View Post
                          See you need to get used to the fact that a woman in a relationship ALWAYS wants to get something out of the guy: that can be money, safety, communication or whatever other shit..
                          That's true, of course. Even without a relationship (i.e. pure sex) the girl wants something from you (sex). In every consenting interaction, both parties want SOMETHING.

                          However, if sex is the only thing you are providing, a lot of girls will default to fucking you once, or maybe a handful of times, then leaving forever.

                          That's the real "asshole player" lifestyle, and it's definitely not for everyone. Especially not for guys who aren't that strong, and in fact are needy and want the security and affection of a relationship. Specifically, it doesn't seem to be right for our OP, since he does want a girlfriend.

                          Others gave you great advice: you need to be outcome indipendent on the girlfriend thing, then they will begin (believe me THEY WILL!) to chase you to become their boyfriend especially if you are so smart in making them believe that they can get something out of you ( of course you do not REALLY need to give them what they want but you can keep them "on the edge")
                          Being one of the commentators who advised OP to become outcome independent, I consider this description somewhat optimistic.

                          As a player, you stand to get a ton of girls looking for one-night-stands. They plan to get off one time and never see you again, regardless how outcome- independent and relationship-worthy you are.

                          At the risk of sounding M/w, I will also point out that very young girls who seek out alpha players and fuck them on the first date are NOT good candidates for steady relationships, certainly not exclusive ones like OP seeks. They're not fit for them, and usually aren't really looking for them, ASD-induced claims to the contrary notwithstanding.

                          OP's girls demonstrate that pretty well. His girl 2 doesn't seem like she is looking for a relationship at all, and girl 1 seems like very bad relationship material.
                          Last edited by Tarzan; 09-11-2014, 10:22 PM.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Tarzan View Post
                            I very much doubt that's the case. His problem is actually that he fucks these girls with a player frame, then becomes your standard needy, relationship-seeking beta. As a result, he loses both games: the girls are no longer attracted to him as an alpha, but are very skeptical of his sudden shift to beta. Even had they trusted that he somehow instantly transformed to a beta, they probably were never interested in a beta in the first place, or else why would they fuck someone they saw as an alpha? His inner attitude is certainly not one of an asshole player: he wants a girlfriend.
                            Here's his behavior towards the first girl: Not something an asshole player would ask some girl he is fucking.
                            The main problem he has is SCREENING. I think because he does not have a realistic view of the women and because he does not know well the relationship game i.e. “how” to have a girlfriend.

                            I have in mind a "future asshole husband" more than an “asshole player”. The girls who meet him do not give a shit about is he being a player or not. They are hunting as much as he is hunting. I think that out of neediness (needy alpha as Blackdragon would say) he tries to control and dominate the girls he is fucking. This behavior is almost probably unconscious for the OP and of course breaks the rules of Secret Society big time. The girls leave because they detect at the same time danger and neediness and a future "controlling husband"

                            Originally posted by Tarzan View Post
                            That's true, of course. Even without a relationship (i.e. pure sex) the girl wants something from you (sex). In every consenting interaction, both parties want SOMETHING.
                            Yes and with a woman he has only 3 choices 1. Be completely Secret Society and accept the fact that they WILL leave either fast or later if they do not get what they want ( as you say these girls are not good relationship material) 2. Be a dominant/domineering husband/boyfriend and use his power on her by abuse and violence, letīs say the "Sharia law" (this is of course either masked beta behavior or pure abuse and violence) 3. Be betaised.

                            Now he loses the girlfriends because as you say he moves from "fucking them" to "being controlling" which is of course beta especially if you cannot back up your words by action.

                            We need to remember that the world is FULL of men who are in the position of husband/boyfriend and who enslave their women maybe not in politically correct countries so much and CAN back up their words with action especially in certain cultures..

                            Originally posted by Tarzan View Post
                            However, if sex is the only thing you are providing, a lot of girls will default to fucking you once, or maybe a handful of times, then leaving forever.
                            Exactly the OP does not get the girlfriend he wants because he begins to act controlling and like an asshole husband in a situation where he cannot back up is words with real power and real actions and by doing so he breaks the Secret Society rules and girls leave. I am sure that if he would give a more “relaxed” vibe he would manage to make of these girls his “girlfriends” but.. would that be a good business with these girls is another story.


                            Going for relationships and going for ONSs and short term sex is a totally different game.

                            First thing for the OP is to understand that 1. You want a girlfriend? You need to learn SCREENING and how to screen for the right women for that 2. Every woman wants something from the man she is with either short term or longer term and if she does not get that she WILL leave (unless she is enslaved but not sure would be that a good business either)

                            Comment

                            Working...
                            X