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Self Limiting Mindset with hot chicks

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  • Self Limiting Mindset with hot chicks

    You know the type of chicks i mean. Always doing their hair, always with a group of friends, 21-25 year old range(Usually). Knows they have options. Think of a southern California girl you think of kaley cuoco (Remember I am also in New York, in a suburb, but still New York)

    http://us.cdn2828.fansshare.com/phot...-652563230.jpg

    Came to realize this a while ago. For the guys who does or did online dating im sure you know you have to shift through profiles to find a couple of hot chicks to only be scooped up a week or two later...or the exact opposite spectrum, still be on there a year later. Seems there is no middle ground. Some respond, some dont, some i get their number, some i dont. Normal stuff right?

    But. Here is the issue...I am quicker to blow them off and say this isnt working then i am to lets say a girl like this:

    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6i8MeNyzhs...604-112623.jpg

    I think in my mind, I feel i dont deserve a chick whos really hot..Part of it is Online Dating, it screwed up my values. I kill it online, big time...But still, not satisfied on the looks caliber end. When i do get the chicks who i feel are my type. I blow them off because i can see it truly not working and you just after a while when they would flake, so im saving my self the headache. But there is more to it like i said. Its also to save my ego, I blow them off before they do so my ego doesnt get hurt and make my self limiting believe even worse.

    Also noticed the girls who are in good shape..Even though i am in better shape then they are, they still arent fully interested, I get their number, but their interest and investment level isnt there.

    That brings to NYC Daygame. Havent dont it much, but my good friend is a daygame coach whos done 1000s of approaches so its not like im a total beginner in daygame - NYC - Tons of hot chicks, tons of opportunity. When i approach i approach. No matter how hot the girl, i approach, if i get rejected, i just dont care and go the next one right down the block. My invest level is very small. I get a rush when i approach, always looking forward to it.

    Dont have enough daygame experience to full compare. But i have enough night game experience to say my mindset towards flaky chicks during the night, small investment level, even if i dont pull or i do, im still okay.

    Online dating, my mindset is different, i put in a bit more work, messaging, texting, planning the meet up. Concept is the same basically. But i feel like im more invested with texting, sometimes calling, building up rapport, getting them comfortable to come over --For your information, i dont do dates, hardly ever..Its either them come over, or they dont. Im very successful with my online dating and getting them to my house routine, I know exactly how to pull it off.

    But to make this rant shorter, im stuck in a loop. Im not a bad looking guy at all. Im in amazing shape, smart - work as a programmer. I have a lot going for me, im aware of that, but im not getting what i want in terms of looks.

    Think i might just do a experiment, where i do NYC daygame and approach like crazy.But only chicks who are 7.5 + on the looks scale just to see how my results compare.

    Not sure who understands my situation and my mindset towards this. I feel like there is something im missing and not getting.


    /Rant

    Your thoughts?

  • #2
    Sounds to me like you come across as too pushy, to the hotter girls.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by ijjjji View Post
      Sounds to me like you come across as too pushy, to the hotter girls.
      Nail on the head. Ive gotten that before. I think that comes from my expectations. I basically get what i want from most of the girls, im good with my words, i get them over my house the first night, drive to me, they bring the alcohol if we decide we want to drink. I always have the girls invest in me first. Then when it comes to the hotter ones i try to pull my same routine, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt.

      I have to start treating the ones I do like(Hot ones)...Like the ones I dont like(A little out of shape,Clingy...etc)..not with words, but with my actions..Texting wise for instance. But even when i do do that, its a crapshoot..Then the answer must be me, my inside core, inner game that is off. Something they can see from the outside, eventhough I still treat them the same as the other ones(Busting balls, being cocky funny, not mentioning her looks, indifference in certain ways)

      ive been aware of this for a while though, working on it more each day...I still feel there is more that im missing here, maybe it i just the amount of options from online dating after all?.....

      Comment


      • #4
        Dude your situation is common to many men.

        Most of us are stuck fucking mostly 7s, and the occasional 8/8.5. A 9 comes around every once in a while...

        The hottest girls aren't any different, except we make ourselves think they are. And yes, they may be harder to deal with for our egos, because for our own validation perhaps we prefer girls who look up to us and for whom having sex with us is a priviledge, something that is hardly the case with the hottest girls.

        The hottest girls get sex on a plate, so they don't really care. In fact, they may choose to play games and test your resilience and persistence/'manliness.'

        You need deep inner confidence in your sexual prowess to KNOW that giving her your sex is actually a benefit for her and she's lucky to be getting it. That comes from fucking many of them. In my sexually active life I've only fucked about 9 or 10 girls above the 7 bracket. 9s...maybe 3 or 4. (As you can see, not very many..)

        Finally, with the hottest girls you have to do everything. There is no escape. She won't come and ask for your shlong. You have to go and give it to her. She might look at you with those big eyes, inviting you over, but you'll have to conquer your stomach butterflies/'fear' and go escalate the interaction with her, always aware that you may be rejected.

        For some reason, even though she probably won't reject you, you tend to think that she will just because she's this SHB. (IME SHBs in the 18-21 age bracket are easier to fuck than SHBs in the 21-25 y-o bracket).

        So yes, a lot of this is irrational ego-protecting fear.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Bismarck View Post
          Dude your situation is common to many men.

          Most of us are stuck fucking mostly 7s, and the occasional 8/8.5. A 9 comes around every once in a while...

          The hottest girls aren't any different, except we make ourselves think they are. And yes, they may be harder to deal with for our egos, because for our own validation perhaps we prefer girls who look up to us and for whom having sex with us is a priviledge, something that is hardly the case with the hottest girls.

          The hottest girls get sex on a plate, so they don't really care. In fact, they may choose to play games and test your resilience and persistence/'manliness.'

          You need deep inner confidence in your sexual prowess to KNOW that giving her your sex is actually a benefit for her and she's lucky to be getting it. That comes from fucking many of them. In my sexually active life I've only fucked about 9 or 10 girls above the 7 bracket. 9s...maybe 3 or 4. (As you can see, not very many..)

          Finally, with the hottest girls you have to do everything. There is no escape. She won't come and ask for your shlong. You have to go and give it to her. She might look at you with those big eyes, inviting you over, but you'll have to conquer your stomach butterflies/'fear' and go escalate the interaction with her, always aware that you may be rejected.

          For some reason, even though she probably won't reject you, you tend to think that she will just because she's this SHB.
          I agree with almost everything you said and have came to the exact same conclusions myself. You are putting looks on a pedestal to much in my opinion. If a girl is into you, shes into you, she will do whatever it takes, no matter her looks. Emotions trump logic.

          But like said, i agree with damn near everything dude..Especially the part of fucking alot of them..it gives you that confidence - "Ive done it once, i can do it again" mentality. I have minimum 3 new woman a month for the past 4 years had 13 over in one week, 3 in one night. Ive done damn well, over 120 chicks in 4 years, probably more. As you can tell, i have no issue escalation, leading, or any of that stuff. Certian parts of my game are just "on" its autopiolet now. According to most men, i had enough for a life time. But i still dont feel satisfied because of the look thing i mentioned. I can consistently get sex, im not worried about that, its getting the consistence sex from the chicks in the looks bracket i want.

          I know im making this a bigger deal in my head then it should be. My issue i think stems from the type of game im doing, which is online. I should just shut the fuck up and approach the hottest ones in NYC during daygame with the consistence i do online (Of course less because i have to physically be out here for a couple of hours a day). It seems online for me for those "hot girls" isnt working well for me consistently. I have to change my element and master daygame, like i did online game.

          Age also plays a role, woman 21-23,24 are notorious flakers and what i call ADD girls and part "neurotics" - They are the ones who get nervous quickly, or the exact opposite, use you for entertainment. They act very aloof. Piss them off, true colors come out.

          Also woman reject men because they feel the man IS to high of value for them, sounds crazy. But its true, well i feel my theory is, ive done experiments, ive been rejected by fat chicks during day game that i know i can get in a second given another atmosphere.



          EDIT - " (IME SHBs in the 18-21 age bracket are easier to fuck than SHBs in the 21-25 y-o bracket)." HA! I didnt read that until now. Thats what i just wrote in this post also. 100% agree.

          Comment


          • #6
            Yeah you might be right, lol.

            I probably have my own limiting mindset I need to overcome!!

            Comment


            • #7
              Something to consider is that you seem to lack empathy--the instinctual feeling of closeness or uderstanding when it comes to women.

              In the short term, for ONS game, lack of empathy can actually be helpful to your chances because it allows you to volume approach and escalate.

              But I think long-term, as you try to create harems or reach for more attractive women, lack of empathy creates a barrier of trust.

              Consider cultivating a few female friends and you'd be amazed at how your comfort level can improve.

              I'll try to flesh this out in a post.

              Comment


              • #8
                Ok so for me the second chick is a 9 while the first one is a 6... Uh???

                What I think is that chicks who are very posey/full hair and makeup tend to be much more attention whorey than those who are more natural. This would explain why you and other people including me have a lower success with them: it's not you, it's them.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Daigoro View Post
                  Something to consider is that you seem to lack empathy--the instinctual feeling of closeness or uderstanding when it comes to women.

                  In the short term, for ONS game, lack of empathy can actually be helpful to your chances because it allows you to volume approach and escalate.

                  But I think long-term, as you try to create harems or reach for more attractive women, lack of empathy creates a barrier of trust.

                  Consider cultivating a few female friends and you'd be amazed at how your comfort level can improve.

                  I'll try to flesh this out in a post.
                  Yes and no man. Yes in CERTAIN ways i do lack feelings for woman, like you stated, isnt always a bad thing. - Online dating has made me jaded. All the flakes, the games, the bullshit man, kind of hard not to. But i do have female friends. Not many. But not gonna lie, i have gotten into their pants at some point, but then i just friendzoned them.

                  its weird looking back at my life, I lost my virginity at 22, im 27 now..16,17 all i wanted was a GF and love, someone to care..I still do to be honest, so feeling is still there, still cry sometimes after break ups(even if i break up) im not completely empty when it comes to woman. I know way worse unfortunately. But i am also indifferent, not a push over, stand my ground. I have a balance when it comes to feeling and not feeling (At least for FB,FWB,ONS - I can control that)

                  I know what i want in a woman, for relationship wise(Thats if, big IF, she matches up to my standards) - Yes, my relationship game is weak. Relationship part, i am still unsure about that, not main goal. Main goal is to expand my business and improve my life for ME. Which to me, should be a goal for everyone, for that individual, not anyone else.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Dude909 View Post
                    Ok so for me the second chick is a 9 while the first one is a 6... Uh???

                    What I think is that chicks who are very posey/full hair and makeup tend to be much more attention whorey than those who are more natural. This would explain why you and other people including me have a lower success with them: it's not you, it's them.
                    Comes down to insecurity and the way they where raised. Usually - The hotter they are, the more insecure they are.

                    No for the most part its me man, and where im looking and what im doing...Environment plays a big role also. Catch her with no make up run, in a sweatshirt. Her guard is down and her ego isnt as "inflated"

                    Maybe its what ive been exposed to, and where i live, but going 100% on looks. This is my 9

                    http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/73...509b31274b.jpg

                    My 8 - http://fast-images.picyou.com/images/0dsUKL/0dsUKL.jpg

                    7 - http://cdn.acidcow.com/pics/20140124...s_girls_22.jpg

                    As you can see, the imperfections keeping being more noticeable. I never rate a chick at a 10. A 10 would be that 9 with the personality i want added. Plus putting a girl at a "10" - Is putting her pussy as golden. Not me...But for those girls, talk about trouble when you go out, guys always looking at them, hitting on them when if you go to the bathroom.

                    My ex won a Ms. NY pagent..According to the looks scale pictures i posted she was a 7.5. Had guys honking at her was we where walking down the street haha. Of course you just have to blow it off and say something like " Damn, people checking out my ass and honking at me again!" Something like that.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Daigoro View Post
                      Something to consider is that you seem to lack empathy--the instinctual feeling of closeness or uderstanding when it comes to women.

                      In the short term, for ONS game, lack of empathy can actually be helpful to your chances because it allows you to volume approach and escalate.

                      But I think long-term, as you try to create harems or reach for more attractive women, lack of empathy creates a barrier of trust.

                      Consider cultivating a few female friends and you'd be amazed at how your comfort level can improve.

                      I'll try to flesh this out in a post.
                      Yes, the man is correct. You need to acquire yourself some soul

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Cobra Kai View Post
                        Yes, the man is correct. You need to acquire yourself some soul
                        I admitted that in my other post. But like i also said, im not completely cold towards woman man, if that was the case, i wouldn't have them sleep over sometimes, or even try to have a conversation. Thats not the case, Each woman thats in my life for a period of time, is their for a reason, they always add something positive to my life

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I know you got soul, if you didn't you wouldn't be in here. I'm just saying you need more soul.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Cobra Kai View Post
                            I know you got soul, if you didn't you wouldn't be in here. I'm just saying you need more soul.

                            "acquire yourself some soul" - its a big different the needing more. ha.

                            I think you have me all wrong man, there are certain areas of life where i appreciate the beauty in everything. Nature, forest, ocean, sunset, sunrise..etc...Like said i only have people in my life that bring a positive aspect to it. Maybe your definitions are off on "soul"..But to me its the personal emotional side

                            About that, my whole life i was emotional, to caring, walked over, all over the place...Now i finally got my emotions in check through years of SELF development and experience, and now you guys are telling me to be more "emotional". No thank you ha

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I literally mean acquire some soul music. For a soulful state. Some types of dance music have a lot of soul. For instance, Daft Punk's Random Access Memories, which featured Nathan East on bass:



                              Nathan East is the dude that introduces Chakha Khan:



                              Edit: In terms of actual, constructive advice... maybe more in-stuff together. Like, inside-jokes, roleplays, pet-names, etc. Emotional anchors that bond you to each other.

                              Comment

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