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Not Your Typical Approach

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  • Practical Technique Not Your Typical Approach

    Kant asked me if I could elaborate on what exactly it is, that leaves my mouth when I talk to a girl during the day time. It's a pretty hard thing for me to do, because theory is not a strong suit of mine so I'll decided to start off with a real-life example. One from earlier this month. And I'll go into some depth on what is going on, during the first minute or so, of the approach.

    I'm on my way home from yet another lecture. But the prospect of delivery pizza and an empty bed leaves something to be desired. So, I swing by my favorite mall to see what else is on display. Due to the fact that I've been sitting silently in a lecture hall for the majority of the day. Starting conversations with strangers is not as easy as it should be.

    After a few minutes in the mall, it becomes apparent that I won't be taking an active role this evening, instead I'll just pick up a girl that gives me the slightest hint of an opening. I see an attractive girl walking in the opposite direction. I'm taking note of a few things, the way she walks, her choice of clothing, the style of her makeup. She'll cross paths with me in exactly 7 seconds. As she does, I see her look at me, up and down, briefly. No smiles, or changes in facial expression. Just registering my existence. The bit of opening I was looking for.

    During the seven seconds I note everything of interest in her appearance. She was dressed in a particularly eye-catching way.

    She was ginger, for starters. The bottom of her hair was at odds with the top so she must have dyed it darker. Her makeup was edgy. Dark-red lipstick that was very nearly black. She was wearing a dress, that was drenched in dark hues. You could easily spot her in a crowd. I turned around and quickened my pace.

    In the few seconds that lead up to the approach. I start to formulate whatever it is I'm going to say. I take in all that I have seen and try to make sense of it. In a playful way.

    Sure, it would take far less effort to just say the typical: "hey I saw you walk by and I thought you looked cute..." And it might have worked.

    But, after many of those approaches I find that you leave a greater impression on her if you don't sound rehearsed and while it is possible to tell her she looks cute with a genuine vibe and strong sub-communication pulling it off it is quite reliant on what state I'm in.

    What I do is take what I see, and draw out a compliment and a tease specific to the girl. Take the concept of push-pull and put it in your opener. I got the idea from Nick Krauser from the London Day-game scene. In some of his field reports I noticed that he tended to improvise quite a bit when it comes to the opener. Cold reads were a huge part of their method.

    Back to the approach. My first thought when I saw her, was "she's eye-catching!" but for the tease? Red hair, dark lipstick and outfit. Hmmm. I remember the cartoons I used to watch as a child. Often times, the main character would have an evil doppelganger that usually dresses in darker clothing, and has darker hair. So I run with that.

    I've caught up with her now, of course she heard the click-clack of my leather boots. Matching her pace, I go in from the side.

    "Hey.." I begin. She turns towards me, stopping but only slightly. "I have to say that I love your look, very eye-catching" I smile, introduce myself to her. There's a handshake, I let it linger for half a second then continue "I thought, with your dark clothes and red hair... you could easily pass for someones evil twin." I smile again but wider this time. She smiles too. I recognize the smile. Perhaps I won't have an empty bed tonight after all.

    I started off with a compliment, the classic pull. Based on her reluctance to take it and carry on walking I followed up by introducing myself. Then I released the push.

    Notice that the tease is also a cold read, there is a fair bit of social pressure to respond here. I've tried a variation of day game openers. This has been the one that brings in the most hooks.

    That being said, there are a few other things worth mentioning. Firstly, if you are still struggling with approach anxiety, do not try this just yet. The added pressure of coming up with something to say can be too much to handle along with fear of approaching.

    Secondly, this is not a magic method. Direct day-game is highly asymmetric in its returns. And because of this, not every girl is going to follow you home just because you noticed the pig-tails in her hair. But some of them will. I can personally attest to that.

    Lastly, this takes a bit of practice to get good at. Spotting things and adding your own twist to them is an art. Here are a few common teases to help get started in case you'd like to try this out. I have field tested all of them, and as a side note try to make sure your compliment matches your tease. So if you complimented her outfit, tease her on it too.

    • Her boots/shoes are loud - "It sounds like you enjoy announcing your presence"
    • She's giving off a relaxed vibe (specific to malls) - "I'll bet you spend all your free time shopping"
    • Dressed in an unremarkable manner - "I think you just grabbed whatever was around and put it on"
    • She's walking fast - "It looks like you might be doing a bit of shoplifting"



    There's a variety of reactions you might get from these. Perhaps it has something to do with her personality/archetype. But some will laugh and play along, some might flip the script and start asking you questions others try to qualify themselves immediately and some girls just look at you in complete awe. Either way, you've most likely hooked her now.


    What happens next is up to you.

  • #2
    Compliment + cold read. I do same for night game. Works.

    Comment


    • #3
      Nice. I think my christmas hobby will be watching TV and practice coming up with situational comments like these.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Bacchus View Post
        Kant asked me if I could elaborate on what exactly it is, that leaves my mouth when I talk to a girl during the day time. It's a pretty hard thing for me to do, because theory is not a strong suit of mine so I'll decided to start off with a real-life example. One from earlier this month. And I'll go into some depth on what is going on, during the first minute or so, of the approach.

        I'm on my way home from yet another lecture. But the prospect of delivery pizza and an empty bed leaves something to be desired. So, I swing by my favorite mall to see what else is on display. Due to the fact that I've been sitting silently in a lecture hall for the majority of the day. Starting conversations with strangers is not as easy as it should be.

        After a few minutes in the mall, it becomes apparent that I won't be taking an active role this evening, instead I'll just pick up a girl that gives me the slightest hint of an opening. I see an attractive girl walking in the opposite direction. I'm taking note of a few things, the way she walks, her choice of clothing, the style of her makeup. She'll cross paths with me in exactly 7 seconds. As she does, I see her look at me, up and down, briefly. No smiles, or changes in facial expression. Just registering my existence. The bit of opening I was looking for.

        During the seven seconds I note everything of interest in her appearance. She was dressed in a particularly eye-catching way.

        She was ginger, for starters. The bottom of her hair was at odds with the top so she must have dyed it darker. Her makeup was edgy. Dark-red lipstick that was very nearly black. She was wearing a dress, that was drenched in dark hues. You could easily spot her in a crowd. I turned around and quickened my pace.

        In the few seconds that lead up to the approach. I start to formulate whatever it is I'm going to say. I take in all that I have seen and try to make sense of it. In a playful way.

        Sure, it would take far less effort to just say the typical: "hey I saw you walk by and I thought you looked cute..." And it might have worked.

        But, after many of those approaches I find that you leave a greater impression on her if you don't sound rehearsed and while it is possible to tell her she looks cute with a genuine vibe and strong sub-communication pulling it off it is quite reliant on what state I'm in.

        What I do is take what I see, and draw out a compliment and a tease specific to the girl. Take the concept of push-pull and put it in your opener. I got the idea from Nick Krauser from the London Day-game scene. In some of his field reports I noticed that he tended to improvise quite a bit when it comes to the opener. Cold reads were a huge part of their method.

        Back to the approach. My first thought when I saw her, was "she's eye-catching!" but for the tease? Red hair, dark lipstick and outfit. Hmmm. I remember the cartoons I used to watch as a child. Often times, the main character would have an evil doppelganger that usually dresses in darker clothing, and has darker hair. So I run with that.

        I've caught up with her now, of course she heard the click-clack of my leather boots. Matching her pace, I go in from the side.

        "Hey.." I begin. She turns towards me, stopping but only slightly. "I have to say that I love your look, very eye-catching" I smile, introduce myself to her. There's a handshake, I let it linger for half a second then continue "I thought, with your dark clothes and red hair... you could easily pass for someones evil twin." I smile again but wider this time. She smiles too. I recognize the smile. Perhaps I won't have an empty bed tonight after all.

        I started off with a compliment, the classic pull. Based on her reluctance to take it and carry on walking I followed up by introducing myself. Then I released the push.

        Notice that the tease is also a cold read, there is a fair bit of social pressure to respond here. I've tried a variation of day game openers. This has been the one that brings in the most hooks.

        That being said, there are a few other things worth mentioning. Firstly, if you are still struggling with approach anxiety, do not try this just yet. The added pressure of coming up with something to say can be too much to handle along with fear of approaching.

        Secondly, this is not a magic method. Direct day-game is highly asymmetric in its returns. And because of this, not every girl is going to follow you home just because you noticed the pig-tails in her hair. But some of them will. I can personally attest to that.

        Lastly, this takes a bit of practice to get good at. Spotting things and adding your own twist to them is an art. Here are a few common teases to help get started in case you'd like to try this out. I have field tested all of them, and as a side note try to make sure your compliment matches your tease. So if you complimented her outfit, tease her on it too.

        • Her boots/shoes are loud - "It sounds like you enjoy announcing your presence"
        • She's giving off a relaxed vibe (specific to malls) - "I'll bet you spend all your free time shopping"
        • Dressed in an unremarkable manner - "I think you just grabbed whatever was around and put it on"
        • She's walking fast - "It looks like you might be doing a bit of shoplifting"



        There's a variety of reactions you might get from these. Perhaps it has something to do with her personality/archetype. But some will laugh and play along, some might flip the script and start asking you questions others try to qualify themselves immediately and some girls just look at you in complete awe. Either way, you've most likely hooked her now.


        What happens next is up to you.
        Your lines are very interesting. I am gonna use your stuff. Cheers.

        Comment

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