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I may have knocked up a chick

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  • I may have knocked up a chick

    supposin you got a girl preggers in a third world country. good girl, good family, she wants a kid, shed probably make a good, caring mother. she knows your position (you dont want a kid now, dont want to be a full time dad, have other priorities, etc.). And ... she doesnt tell you about it. she doesnt ask for anything. she maintains a normal, unchanged long distance demeanor. friendly, flirty. but .. you find out that she might be pregnant, and that it may be yours (very, very slim chance, but a chance nonetheless). what do you do? do you confront her or do you let it ride ?

  • #2
    What can you really do though?

    If she wants to have a baby there's nothing you can do about it. This is why you should always wear a condom, especially if you don't have self-control.

    If I didn't want a child at that point in time, I would give her two options: 1) Take the morning after pill / get an abortion 2) End Relationship

    She may not ask for anything now, doesn't mean she won't ask for anything later.
    The Qlue, simple perspectives on life.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by CrassMoFuggah View Post
      supposin you got a girl preggers in a third world country. good girl, good family, she wants a kid, shed probably make a good, caring mother. she knows your position (you dont want a kid now, dont want to be a full time dad, have other priorities, etc.). And ... she doesnt tell you about it. she doesnt ask for anything. she maintains a normal, unchanged long distance demeanor. friendly, flirty. but .. you find out that she might be pregnant, and that it may be yours (very, very slim chance, but a chance nonetheless). what do you do? do you confront her or do you let it ride ?

      K my advice will be controversial but field tested, you need to be mean, treat her like shit, and act like you want no part in the kids life or her life, this is the only way to sell abortions, nothing else works... Field tested, if the girl get the slightly hint, that you are going to be there, you are done... That being said pay and make sure you go and have proof she actually did the abortion.... UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES, have a kid, it will fuck up your life...


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      • #4
        Originally posted by Skills360 View Post
        K my advice will be controversial but field tested, you need to be mean, treat her like shit, and act like you want no part in the kids life or her life, this is the only way to sell abortions....
        yep, I see the rationale behind that. thing is - in this case - its a country where abortions are illegal. and, she wants a kid, I know that. abortions are out of the question.

        again - she is not asking anything of me. I havent seen her in months, I havent been in that country, im not there now, nor do I have plans to be in that country anytime soon. she knows all of this. like I said, she is not asking anything of me.

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        • #5
          Just leave it, forget about it. Slowly lose contact... Stand firm and move on.
          In Ictu Oculi

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          • #6
            Does she even know who you really are, like a last name and where you live? If you're out of country and she doesn't know your last name you should have little issues even if the kid is yours. Forget about it and move on.

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            • #7
              I dont even know if she is pregnant, let alone if she thinks its mine. the question is should I ask her, or should I continue as though everything is normal, and you guys are all like "forget about her, move on". that seems pretty cold to me. I travel around the world, I meet lots of people and begin relationships with many women. BD said that "all relationships end", and I dont like that. I prefer "all relationships transform". quality women, and quality people in general, I choose to keep in my life. just because we are no longer fucking does not mean there is no more basis for interacting. it doesnt mean that this person is not in my life in some capacity, and vise versa. This woman is someone I care about, we maintain a relationship. it is not as intense as it was, nor does it have many of the old characteristics, but it is a relationship nonetheless. I just read Uncle Walkers great response in another thread:

              Originally posted by Uncle Walker View Post
              Find people who will meet your needs even if they don't meet all your needs. Guy friends who will never understand the way you are with women. Women who you can talk to about your feelings. Dogs or cats that like to be touched and petted. Children that you can play with and be immature. Stuffed animals, a men's forum on the internet, people who share hobbies sports or interests. Oh and women that like to fuck. You can meet a lot more needs with women than just fucking but its a very good basis to start from. I have had better luck with that foundation than any other.
              I have many people on this round rock that I am in relationship with that help to meet my needs. the essence within the advice I am hearing in this thread (if I understand it correctly) appears trigger happy, if I were to follow that advice often I would be alone and lonely. again - I get it if i were living static somewhere in NYC and thought some social circle ONS was making noise that I got her pregnant - that would definitely be cause for alarm, but this is not that case...

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              • #8
                There are two possible scenarios, either it's your kid or it is not. I would imagine the first scenario, decide what my feelings are, then I would talk with the girl about it so that both of you know what's up.

                Personally I would probably want to have a role in my child's life, even if the girl lived in another country.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by CrassMoFuggah View Post
                  I dont even know if she is pregnant, let alone if she thinks its mine. the question is should I ask her, or should I continue as though everything is normal, and you guys are all like "forget about her, move on". that seems pretty cold to me. I travel around the world, I meet lots of people and begin relationships with many women. BD said that "all relationships end", and I dont like that. I prefer "all relationships transform". quality women, and quality people in general, I choose to keep in my life. just because we are no longer fucking does not mean there is no more basis for interacting. it doesnt mean that this person is not in my life in some capacity, and vise versa. This woman is someone I care about, we maintain a relationship. it is not as intense as it was, nor does it have many of the old characteristics, but it is a relationship nonetheless. I just read Uncle Walkers great response in another thread:



                  I have many people on this round rock that I am in relationship with that help to meet my needs. the essence within the advice I am hearing in this thread (if I understand it correctly) appears trigger happy, if I were to follow that advice often I would be alone and lonely. again - I get it if i were living static somewhere in NYC and thought some social circle ONS was making noise that I got her pregnant - that would definitely be cause for alarm, but this is not that case...
                  You get this kind of response because most people would assume that 1) you don't want to be a father in such a situation and 2) probably think that long distance relationships are fail. Long distance parenting is probably even more fail haha.

                  But whatever your thoughts on this, you should ask a lawyer whether legal claims in her country are enforcable in yours? That will set the power dynamic and the range of your options.

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                  • #10
                    she wants a kid, shed probably make a good, caring mother. she knows your position (you dont want a kid now, dont want to be a full time dad, have other priorities, etc.). And ... she doesnt tell you about it. she doesnt ask for anything.
                    You don't even know if she is pregnant. You don't even know if its yours. You don't want to be a father. Get the fuck outta there. Don't tourture her or the child with some wishy washy, "mehh i dunno how I feel."

                    How did you cum to the conclusion shes's pregnant anyways? Aside from jizzing in her.
                    In Ictu Oculi

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by cactus eyes View Post
                      You don't even know if she is pregnant. You don't even know if its yours. You don't want to be a father. Get the fuck outta there. Don't tourture her or the child with some wishy washy, "mehh i dunno how I feel."

                      How did you cum to the conclusion shes's pregnant anyways? Aside from jizzing in her.
                      I saw a recent facebook group photo with her where she looks bulked up, thats why im suspicious. Im neither wishy washy, nor did I ever say that I jizzed inside her.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by sparxx View Post
                        Long distance parenting is probably even more fail haha.
                        one idea bouncing around my head is being an "uncle". tons of girls want kids, so finding one who has "good mother" qualities, who has a stable and supportive family, and who has positive men in her life, knock her up, and then be on my way. Id come by for a few months here and there but basically be living my own life. I would strongly encourage/support her to get married and have a "father" be around. there would not be any animosity, everything would be amicable, I would be in the kids life, just much less invested than other people.

                        its an interesting fairly tale idea that is ripe with landmines. but the positives of it have its appeal to me..

                        But whatever your thoughts on this, you should ask a lawyer whether legal claims in her country are enforcable in yours? That will set the power dynamic and the range of your options.
                        *sigh* yea .. lawyers. its the right thing to do. NWP around these parts still although I could probably guess he would just write a 10000 word dissertation on why this is a catastrophy..

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by CrassMoFuggah View Post
                          I saw a recent facebook group photo with her where she looks bulked up, thats why im suspicious. Im neither wishy washy, nor did I ever say that I jizzed inside her.
                          It sounds wishy washy to me, if you didn't cum in her and you think she is pregnant with your kid. Do you know the last time you fucked compared to how far along she is?

                          It sounds like you just want a kid and are going to hijack this girls baby as uncle crass, when it very well couldn't be yours, especially if you didn't cum in her yet you think she's pregnant with your kid. Do you see what I'm getting at?

                          And yea it sounds pretty fairy tale-ish.
                          In Ictu Oculi

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by cactus eyes View Post
                            It sounds wishy washy to me, if you didn't cum in her and you think she is pregnant with your kid. Do you know the last time you fucked compared to how far along she is?

                            It sounds like you just want a kid and are going to hijack this girls baby as uncle crass, when it very well couldn't be yours, especially if you didn't cum in her yet you think she's pregnant with your kid. Do you see what I'm getting at?

                            And yea it sounds pretty fairy tale-ish.
                            uncle crass, I like that

                            I did not cum inside of her, no. I did fuck her without a condom. I have been operating under the principle that I cannot get a girl pregnant with pre-cum. I remember reading threads on this, I think it was BD who mentioned his own experience of being viril, yet fucking so many women without a condom and never impregnating anyone. So - if she is pregnant and its mine then that principle would be bunk. in OP I say "..you find out that she might be pregnant, and that it may be yours (very, very slim chance, but a chance nonetheless)". everything that I said was consistent.

                            totally separate from her and weather or not she is pregnant or not with my kid (or not), I have been thinking about being uncle crass. the idea still scares the shit out of me, let alone trying to figure out a reasonable plan to handle the potential nightmare drama situations that could arise. So its not like I am trying to make this situation happen tomorrow. not wishy washy at all. ill take ownership if it sounds that way in the writing, but to be clear: no - I am not ready to have a kid tomorrow. and especially this one - it would be a huge red flag because she took so much unilateral action and kept me in the dark. all things to do with consent and trust and respect. in a best case scenario I would be distant second cousin crass. unless the kid turns into a soccer star

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                            • #15
                              A lot of guys blame themselves for knocking a women up, but my experience with this is that if it happens ... it's not your fault, and in fact it's the woman's responsibility.
                              .... well that's not the case in our increasingly feminized and becoming ever-more-dangerous Western societies, but in the rest of the world it holds true.

                              Firstly... it's the woman's responsibility to choose who she has sex with. For a man to choose actually goes against nature (e.g. rape), so if a woman wants to have sex with you, there's no reason for you to deny her.
                              Secondly... women KNOW *WHEN* they are likely to get pregnant. They can't get pregnant if you blow your load in them out of their fertile timing. If she doesn't want to get pregnant, she won't have sex at these times. She will say that she's on her period (or not) and she won't make herself available for sex. So if she has sex when she's likely to get pregnant, it's her fault.
                              Thirdly... If a woman decides to not demand that you use a condom... much less care if you blow your load inside of her... then she has to bear some responsibility for this. She is an adult. She knows what she is doing by having unprotected sex.
                              Fourthly... if you manage your logistics properly and have unprotected sex complete with creampies ONLY in hotels which you move out of within a few days... then the issue of her coming back to throw a baby in your face simply isn't going to happen. This is where the "I'm only here for a few days. Let's make some bad decisions and incredible memories" strategy works best.
                              Fifth.... if we are talking about third-world countries, in many cases woman WANT you to make them pregnant and are totally OK about you not sticking around. They have their extended family to look after the children... and typically this is what happens.

                              So chill out.
                              What women want: A man to care about

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