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  • Girlcoding girls into talking to you

    When I like a girl, I tend to start 'girl-coding' her, to make her speak first. (I know it sounds girly and kinda kreepy in theory, but somehow it doesnt creep girls out at all. Girls who are not in a rush, actually tend to say something.)

    Its good for me to do this, because I often use shyness at various times, to evoke the hunter instinct in girls. (My shyness around perfect girls is no joke - I really feel it!) Oh and it mixes fluidly with the other things I do. As a bonus, it happens to work regardless of noise level. (Its probably not of interest to many others, since most want to be a 'tough guy'... but I thought Id share it nonetheless.)

    Edit - Im tossing in some semi-related graphics, juust for flavor. See if you can spot the links. If not, no biggie This is super easy anyways (once you give resign from having to be a tough guy all the time..)



    EDIT - There is an 'avert' or shy version of girlcoding, where you look down and straight ahead instead of at the person. It is GREAT! And it can affect a GROUP of girls, while you can mostly connect with a single girl when looking directly.

    Its also hillarious with groups, because those girls will in turn girlcode oneanother as in "This guy is TOO CUTE. Lets gab him NOW!" (Im not kidding!)

    OKAY I KNOW this is PINK PEGASUS OVERDOSE, for you guys and your manly egos, but I assure you, there is nothing to stop you from switching back to your old hyper macho self, immediately afterwards. Its actually great and quite funny to do so!
    Last edited by ijjjji; 11-25-2016, 02:31 PM.

  • #2
    Man theres been some good stuff poppin up here lately!

    I spotted the visuals and for sure felt that vibee, silent fun look hush. Youre right across all noise levels that its mostly effective.

    The issue is that it is very vibe, looks based so it needs to be congruent with self, or if its not the shyness factor should be kicked way up, which then borders that kreepy tough guy line of sorts...

    But it is similar to my interpretation of omega game with differenet energy levels, and also i think it relates to jesters personality thread.

    Interesting though, girl code is a good name.
    In Ictu Oculi

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    • #3
      Originally posted by ijjjji View Post
      When I like a girl, I tend to start 'girl-coding' her, to make her speak first. (I know it sounds girly and kinda kreepy in theory, but somehow it doesnt creep girls out at all. Girls who are not in a rush, actually tend to say something.)

      Its good for me to do this, because I often use shyness at various times, to evoke the hunter instinct in girls. (My shyness around perfect girls is no joke - I really feel it!) Oh and it mixes fluidly with the other things I do. As a bonus, it happens to work regardless of noise level. (Its probably not of interest to many others, since most want to be a 'tough guy'... but I thought Id share it nonetheless.)
      Love it!

      Looking at the graph, I had a sort of "A-ha!" moment - I used to exhibit a lot of those behaviors when I was actually shy around girls (I can still be in certain situations, but it happens a lot less) and, hey, it worked. Not only that, I loved the dynamics it would create in the interaction. And then the transformation from this shy/unsure state to sexually dominant once you're in the bedroom/isolation - that shit is hot!

      The problem is that lately I've been having trouble replicating it (getting into this shy state myself) and in turn evoke the "hunter instinct" as you called it (I find it very sexy when you can see that twinkling in a woman's eye, when she's on the prowl). I mean now they go along and its not an issue to get laid, but its just not as fun.

      I'll need to try this out.

      Any thoughts on replicating this state in a verbal context?
      Get the FREE ebook "What Killed Your Sex Appeal? 5 Awful Mistakes That Men Make With Their Image" and remove cockblocks from your wardrobe.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by DavidK View Post
        Any thoughts on replicating this state in a verbal context?
        I find that I get it naturally if a girl is either drop dead gorgeous, or veeery flirty. But its also comes very naturally with just a little bit of acting (Because I always had a shyness of hot girls in my youth I guess.)

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        • #5
          - suppressed laughter (gets attention to fixate on the same thing)
          - parody through using the expression of your eyes (creates a deeper look into that thing)
          - subcommunication with a facial expression (creates rapport)
          - change in body positioning to express your stance on it (shows your energy and your sense of things)
          Then you playfully relieve the tension after

          Its a way of engaging the girl so she will feel you are relateable

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          • #6
            Originally posted by thecostofsuccess View Post
            - suppressed laughter
            Gem! Unsure why, but when I remember something funny, girls will sometimes start flirting with me out of nowhere.

            The best natural I know, has his face in that expression non-stop, when among girls. Girls literally throw themself at him in bars. Its unreal to watch. And I never saw him lift a finger to get a girls attention. Only this non-stop coding. (Its pretty long since we had a thread about naturals we know?)

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            • #7
              Originally posted by ijjjji View Post
              Gem! Unsure why, but when I remember something funny, girls will sometimes start flirting with me out of nowhere.

              The best natural I know, has his face in that expression non-stop, when among girls. Girls literally throw themself at him in bars. Its unreal to watch. And I never saw him lift a finger to get a girls attention. Only this non-stop coding. (Its pretty long since we had a thread about naturals we know?)
              Depends on the girl though, some girls are horrified if I get anywhere NEAR suppressed laughter.
              Most of the time it is good though, just when they have 50 eyes on you cuz they feel uneasy they target it.
              In that case the natural guy will just get shot with holes :P

              I'd just say there is a dark percentage of a pie chart (like 20% or so) where it can go wrong

              Its cuz girls are actively trying to kinda uproot a different result for themselves, so feel like "going along" can be destructive.
              They might be right in some way. Its probably a kind of meta-calibration issue, where some guys willfully ignore larger pictures in order to avoid dealing with any of the harsher elements of women. So sometimes instead of laughing, just use a very calm, comforting energy.

              So, I think you do well to always keep calm/comforting in your back pocket while doing that style.
              Just to level things out so they don't start to get you wrong.

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              • #8
                Ay, it needs to be a bashful surpressed laughter.
                A cocky surpressed laughter is too tough for girls.

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                • #9
                  IJ, alright I am genuinely not trying to be an asshole here, but I don’t get it. Is there a step in between that you are not talking about? Like that you are somehow super attractive in the environment you are in BEFORE you start being bashful?

                  I would like to learn a little about this as I would say it is one of the things I don’t have in my toolbox. I am kind of a slow learner, I am still chewing on Bachaas’s bubble and fractionation stuff, so let me explain where the roadblock to even getting started on your idea is.

                  If a super attractive woman is in my vicinity and I let myself be bashful = absolutely NOTHING would ever happen. Hot girls constantly have someone vying for their attention. They don’t need look around and be aware of their surroundings and notice this old guy being coy. If she tried her attention would immediately be drawn away by something else.

                  At a coffee shop yesterday a friend and I were keeping a discreet eye on this hot woman ordering her coffee. He just went through a break up and he is hot for this chick. As she walks by to leave I pull her attention to me and I order her to sit down. She keeps looking from me to the door. Everytime she looks back at me I direct her to the chair with my eyes. She finally complies. I let him work his charms on her from there with minimal convo from me but when I see he is going to let her go without a close I order them to exchange numbers. She kindly refuses but after hugs and she leaves she comes back in and gives him her number and thanks me.

                  Alright, point is that if I had tried to be shy she would have left without a single second of interaction. I get that if you can get her chasing and then be demure and kind of decline giving her the validation of saying oh hell yes, she is likely to really start chasing. I think that is a great long term relationship strategy but how to get her to start the convo with you being shy unless the world just happens to drop her in front of you bored, unoccupied, and attracted to you.

                  I admit I am largely extroverted so maybe I just can’t see the nuance to this. Can you help me out?

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Uncle Walker View Post
                    IJ, alright I am genuinely not trying to be an asshole here, but I don’t get it. Is there a step in between that you are not talking about? Like that you are somehow super attractive in the environment you are in BEFORE you start being bashful?
                    Yeah I'm also curious of the context. Your game is very complicated, very heady, and very vague. . its like a jigsaw puzzle translating all this stuff into actual actionable advice.

                    What I've been able to piece together:

                    - Your game is mainly night game at clubs.

                    - You're omega. . you prefer to exist as part of a group, outside the group. You're the tag-along guy that doesn't really give a shit, mostly stays quiet, keeps to himself for the most part.

                    - You've learned a set of pet-esque strategies like "puppy dogging" and "bashfulness" that attract girls to approach YOU quite warmly in these club environments, the way they're drawn to a cute puppy in a mall pet store. You have almost zero sexual-threat initially, in fact it seems to be the exact opposite: you go for cute and cuddly, evoking almost feelings of sympathy in girls who then approach you, largely because you seem cute and safe and in need of a friend, and also an alternative to the sea of horny guys.

                    - Given these type of female behaviors, you must be fairly good looking to begin with. Girls don't go pet ugly puppies.

                    - You've learned to continue these pet-esque behaviors well into the seduction. . physical escalation or dominance is entirely incongruent you so you need to manipulate the girl into escalating on YOU through a series of pet-esque hints and behaviors that make her want to pet you more and shower you with more safe and plutonic type escalations, that you mutually reciprocate.

                    - You've learned how to flip this type of attention at the venue into isolated sex. I'm not sure how. Is there a post of yours that patches this hole? That takes it from pet-esque female attention to a girl moaning in joy as she bounces on your rock hard cock? Do you require the girl to isolate and initiate sex too? At what point do you take charge and make it happen, if ever?

                    Your opening game, that Uncle Walker brings up, seems very hit and miss. You could easily go to a club, be bashful and omega, and have not one girl give a fuck. You must have many off nights for every on night. And your closing game . . . how you go from being fawned over like a puppy to cock-in-pussy. Those two are still unclear to me.

                    Is this a reasonable enough practical real-world translation of what's going on?

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                    • #11
                      I am also curious about the points Uncle Walker and Pureevil brings up.

                      I am naturally shy and bashful and have seen the positive sides of it. It lowers bitch shields and makes you more approachable. But I always combine this with being brave, flirty and confident in my yumminess, so I'm not fickle or tense at all. So I set myself apart very much from the regular shy guy. Especially when I take charge and move things forward (aka. as open verbally and escalate).

                      I also think being shy and humble towards girls is a great compliment, because girls will feel beautiful and important, like you truly respect them. Not being loud and trying to be tough also sub-communicates that there is more to be found than what shows under the surface. And the opposite is true for tough guys.

                      Edit:
                      I think there is a spectrum for shyness where you can go from happy/smiling to more sadness and stay adorable. I especially use that when out of momentum in day game.

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                      • #12
                        Coincidentally I have been thinking about this exact thing lately, how so much can be communicated via eye contact, and "girl coding" is basically "advanced eye contact".

                        Currently field testing a "beckon and wave" technique in bars and will report back if results are encouraging.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by pureevil View Post
                          ...
                          - Given these type of female behaviors, you must be fairly good looking to begin with. Girls don't go pet ugly puppies.
                          ....
                          Bwahahaha!!! Stolen!
                          Interesting thread. Bashful works for me as "incongruent game". I tell women I am shy and they laugh. I guess my forward style, eye contact, etc, tells another story. At times I act over the top bashful (lowered eyes, averted gaze, stutter, blush if I can muster it, create awkwardness, etc. All these with tongue deeply in cheek. I also tell them I'm a virgin if they accuse me of being a player. Incongruence works.) But I have a feeling it's not the shyness IJJ is talking about. Or is it??? I don't get shy with "drop dead gorgeous" but there is a type that flusters me. With these I just end up acting way too serious, uninterested, high value, and inaccessible. Oh well! Maybe I should try shyness with this type.
                          Not a macho-ego thing, but I get somewhat turned off by women saying I'm cute. It is a reversal of power and I don't like submitting. Also, about waking the huntress in women: I don't know what to do when I get aggressively pursued. I always reject advances that are too "ballsy", it just feels odd.

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                          • #14
                            UW and PE, I very much appreciate this type of feedback!! Its the type of feedback that is required for our PU concepts to improve! Its very clear to me that my descriptions are lacking. Hence my feeble attempts to help with pictures. But its still very hard. I think the main points I fail to communicate sometimes, is that its
                            -Ironic (stand-up comedy like)
                            -Veneer-like (not even sure how to explain lol)


                            -"Flamboyantly bashful" is a term I used before, to try to illustrate there is a juxtaposition at work here, and THAT is what pulls girls.
                            -Two natural PUAs Ive known were my original inspiration, and they both conveyed a mix of "Girls love me" + "Im scared of girls"..
                            -"Confidently timid", I guess...
                            -This 2-layer'ness is something I tend to not think about, so I usually forget to mention it.


                            OK, so going forward,
                            -I need to stop throwing terms like 'shy', 'bashful', 'timid', 'coy' etc etc around so carelessly.
                            -I need to try to find a celebrity or movie character who does something similar, to use as reference point.


                            Regarding my own looks - honestly, Im really unsure myself!! The signals I get vary from very positive to rather negative.
                            -Wargigs seem kinda crazy about me. To the point where I need to actively avoid them.
                            -With hot girls, I seem to kinda polarize.
                            -Also, a lot seems to hinge on me having a strong mood/vibe.
                            -Objectively, I dont rate my looks very highly.
                            -Several girls online have said I look good for my age. Not sure if means much.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by ijjjji View Post
                              -"Flamboyantly bashful" is a term I used before, to try to illustrate there is a juxtaposition at work here, and THAT is what pulls girls.
                              -Two natural PUAs Ive known were my original inspiration, and they both conveyed a mix of "Girls love me" + "Im scared of girls"..
                              -"Confidently timid", I guess...
                              -This 2-layer'ness is something I tend to not think about, so I usually forget to mention it.
                              I believe TTM has brushed on this before... both energies the approachable relatablity of teenage boy-band groups as well as the flamboyant sexuality of touring rockstars. They are tools of my arsenal and might be a good way to describe Omega-game here:

                              Originally posted by The Thin Man View Post
                              This is one of those interesting things...Androgyny can work for you.

                              However I think you are conflating two male archetypes... Although they both trade on androgyny. One of them is perhaps the most extremely sexually attractive, to many women, of all of the archetypes. Performers like Prince, Mick Jagger, David Bowie, Alice Cooper etc... are the archetype of the medicine man. He is a magical creature that is outside of the traditional gender duality a thin androgynous singer story teller dancer... A wearer of masks and costumes... Woman love the medicine man the most... The medicine man archetype is also behind the strange sexual draw of some kinds of cult leaders... Think about how androgynous Warren Jeffs is...

                              The other Archetype is the Man Child... Think Sean Cassidy, Nick Jonas, Justin Timberlake, or the early Beetles... This is the archetype of the boy bands. They are not magic they are approachable... and they are most attractive to virginal women. Their androgyny makes them less scary to pre-sexual teens who can get into a strange group frenzy over them, a kind of mob attraction you never see in mature women.
                              I don't wanna hi-jack ijjis beautiful thread though... since the ramblings of a girl-mad 18 year old aren't that understandable either... but I'm wondering if this helps clear up anything.
                              “You know I cant hear none of that spend the night shit... that kumbaya shit”

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