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  • Logical date

    How will you keep a date conversation not logical? This is a tough challenge as i was trying to build rapport.

    I had date today. Started year strong. However the conversation turned to a logical conversation.
    In the end she gave me a dumb as fk handshake. I doubt she is interested lol

    We had a date for 2 hours. Coffee and walk in the mall.

  • #2
    Thats why dates suck to begin with. No guarantees, but the common methods to fix it are:
    -Sitting next to girl (shoulder-shoulder)
    -Emotionally charged remarks/compliments with light kino
    -Teasing the girl
    Loves: Shy Girl-coding into Starry-eyed Extroversion, spamming Open-loops and Mini-cold-reads and lots of light kino.
    Hates: Putting pressure on others. Things that feel 'brainy'.

    Comment


    • #3
      There are some people with which you simply won't connect very well. Keep in mind that in any conversation between two people those two people will share the responsibility for it to be one they both can enjoy. If you're talking to someone who doesn't care to make the conversation interesting, well..

      Anyway, there are some principles you could use if you're into that stuff:

      - Successfully convincing yourself that anyone you'll ever meet has at least one interesting thing you can learn from them. I used to be that way when I was about 20, I was opening up anyone I met on the streets, on the tram, busses, wherever, being truly curious what I could learn from them and how they would brighten my day with their stories. A few years later I stopped doing that because a) I was very depressed after the relationship with someone I truly loved broke down, b) I realized that I'm forcing these things even when I'm not into talking and c) I was basically providing all the energy and structure for each conversation while my other conversation partner wouldn't, which became rather exhausting after a while. A few years later I wondered why people had become less interesting and why I had encountered so many interesting people back in the days, until I realized that people are still interesting, I'm just not asking them to be anymore so they seem dull. It's mostly a self-fulfilling prophecy thing, really: if you're not expecting much, you won't be getting much. Same is true for my students as a teacher, when they realized I believed in them for real, they would blossom beautifully.

      If you want to have an interesting conversation, direct your efforts at digging up the interesting parts of your conversation partner. Mind that what is interesting to you isn't known to the other one so he'll have a hard time chosing what to tell you to make it interesting, which is why sometimes it's nice to share some of your stuff so your conversation partner will have an idea about what could interest you.

      Using open questions related to feelings is usually also a good idea, as long as you're truly interested, like "How did you decide on following that career choice?". Only ask if you're truly interested on the answer, otherwise the conversation will feel very weird to the other one. Ask questions that will best be answered in story form, after you get your conversation partner to tell at least a short story, you'll usually have enough clues to ask further questions that can expand the story. Follow your curiosity and invite who you talk to on a journey through their lives following your questions.

      Finally, if you don't feel like contributing a lot, just don't. Silence is a powerful tool in your conversation arsenal if you use it correctly and don't freak out yourself. Just look at your conversation partner silently, spiced with a little curiosity while radiating acceptance towards her. You'll usually get a lot of reactions you can then comment on or (even better) ask new story-seeking questions.

      Over the years I've developed a habit of not talking too much to people but being very observant and if I feel like it I will start a conversation with someone which will usually go very deep quickly. In the beginning I have often wondered if people wouldn't see me as weird if I never talked to many people at social gatherings, but I've found that by not being at the center of attention and being somewhat selective in who I chose to talk with and also how long (if I don't want to talk anymore, I don't care much about social norms or politeness, I'll just leave the conversation), my conversation time usually seems to have a lot of value to people and they actively seek me out a lot of times. But I do have a rather unique personality.

      By the way, it's been years since I've been on a "date" and I wouldn't want to do it anymore. It kind of sets societal rules on how it should proceed, and I don't like rules that will usually result in predictable outcomes (like your way too logical conversation).

      Jester
      Bunterrichten - Alternativen zum Unter-richten:

      Comment


      • #4
        Dates are just another word for interviews, and it's what women use to interview you in order to see what resources they can extract out of you.

        All you really need is an hour of time, isolated alone with a woman, anywhere where there is privacy and plausible deniability, then you kino/escalate as a form of screening, if she remains submissive move her to a sex location.

        If she rejects then it could mean one of two things:

        - You lack empathy and are not aware of her emotional state
        - She's not attracted to you and just wants to extract resources out of you (time, money, energy, attention, emotions, therapy, etc..)

        If it's the former, then you need to figure out PACING and improve your facial expression recognition
        If it's the latter, then you have successfully screened out a time waster.
        The Qlue, simple perspectives on life.

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        • #5
          1) post reports so we can help out better
          2) proximity and kino like ijjji said
          3) be able to flow from subject to subject (pick the positive parts from her talking/reframe it in a positive more emotional way
          4) qualify her for what you want in a woman (cool traits - look up razorjack archive)
          5) learn to talk in emotional stimulating ways (riker nlp course)
          6) learn sexual state projection (gunwitch)/seductive listening (60yearsofchallenge)
          7) learn to ask the right questions (engaging her imagery or sthing)

          So many options! But yeah you didnt specify so I wont either yet in general topic switching i find important

          Comment


          • #6
            Guys, thanks for the inputs. It's helping and it motivates me to go out and get more dates.


            Reference:
            ----------
            One time a friend of mine told me PU only works on tourists, new girls to the country, and girls with mental issues. I had a feeling he was right but I never confirmed this until today.


            Had another date today:
            -----------------------------
            I was walking at the supermarket aisle and I saw a cute girl (7.5/10 in my scale) but I didn't want to use the classic opener "I saw you from over there and thought you were cute....blah blah blah", instead I opened with "Hey, Happy New Year" and to my surprise she is receptive and she starts to giggle lol. I can't really remember everything what I talked about, but I used a little bit of Bacchus' stuffs. "I can't believe is already 2017..."


            We talked for 2-3 minutes and we moved to Starbucks. It was very suspicious she wanted to come to Starbucks so quickly. (I don't think it's instant attraction)
            Got a drink, and we sat next to each other.
            She told me she has social anxiety, eczema, and she is very curious.


            During the conversation I think there was good eye contact, light touching, good conversation, and not as boring as Sunday's date, but it was still a little logical. Looks like I cannot get away from the logical conversation yet.
            After 35 minutes of conversation, she suggested to walked around the mall. She looks at her cell phone and she has a missed call from her sister, she calls her sister and after she finishes the call she had to go. She asked for my contact and I give it to her. I got home and texted her and she replied. I have a feeling she has ADHD or some kind of disorder. We will see what happens.

            Comment


            • #7
              Another date:
              -------------------------
              I saw her at the yogurt section, she look fine from behind. But face wise not so good. (6/10 in my scale). I said "Hi, how are you". She smiled and said 'hi' back and started a conversation from there. Talked about 2016 and 2017.


              Told her to go to Starbucks to sit and chat more, she says she had to finish her grocery shopping. I took her hand and show her the way. She insisted to finish shopping and I said I will wait for her outside. She finished paying and we head to Starbucks.


              We sit next to each other. This time I was being less logical, light touches, eye contact. By some point I got turned off, I think she was just a 6 and was not attractive enough. Talked for 45 minutes. She sees the time and says she has to go. We exchanged number and I say to her to meet on Saturday, she says to text her. I left.

              Comment


              • #8
                How much did you wait for her? If that was longer than 15 minutes that may have indicated that you're desperate.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Trestristestigres View Post
                  How will you keep a date conversation not logical? This is a tough challenge as i was trying to build rapport.

                  I had date today. Started year strong. However the conversation turned to a logical conversation.
                  In the end she gave me a dumb as fk handshake. I doubt she is interested lol

                  We had a date for 2 hours. Coffee and walk in the mall.
                  well there is this thing about bodylanguage... your conversation can be crazily logical, but if you both make your bodylanguage engage it won't really matter
                  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIb6AZdTr-A

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by sch View Post
                    How much did you wait for her? If that was longer than 15 minutes that may have indicated that you're desperate.
                    I waited for 5 minutes.
                    Its ok. I have dates every week anyway.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Kit: Good point!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Hey, guys,
                        Now that xmas and new year is over.
                        I need some hookup openers.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Do the 36 questions . There is a app for that too.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Ok. Found the 36 questions. I will put it here for whoever wants to use it:



                            1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
                            2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
                            3. Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you're going to say? Why?
                            4. What would constitute a perfect day for you?
                            5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
                            6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you choose?
                            7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
                            8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
                            9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

                            10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
                            11. Take four minutes and tell you partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
                            12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be?
                            13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
                            14. Is there something that you've dreamt of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?
                            15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

                            16. What do you value most in a friendship?
                            17. What is your most treasured memory?
                            18. What is your most terrible memory?
                            19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
                            20. What does friendship mean to you?
                            21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
                            22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
                            23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's?
                            24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
                            25. Make three true "we" statements each. For instance, "we are both in this room feeling..."
                            26. Complete this sentence "I wish I had someone with whom I could share..."
                            27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
                            28. Tell your partner what you like about them: be honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met.
                            29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
                            30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
                            31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
                            32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
                            33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?
                            34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
                            35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why
                            36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Thanks guys for the input.


                              Another question for the "Attraction masters":
                              I'm able to create instant attraction when I first talk to her. However attraction dissipates after 10 seconds.


                              I tried the following to keep the attraction going:
                              * Silent and eye contact
                              * Escalate Touching
                              * Talk anything that comes to my mind


                              None of those three worked. Need help to keep attraction going. Thanks

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