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text game. breaking rapport?

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  • text game. breaking rapport?

    I did some prizing over text, was sexual, she tells me I'm a pervert (in a good flirty way).
    We wanted to meet, but couldn't find time.
    then..
    Her: Good night! We should finally see each other!
    Me: Certainly. While it's not too cold and we don't wear too many clothes
    Her: Hey, you perverted male
    Me: You want me?
    Her: Noooo!!!
    Me: Get out, liar
    Her: I'll get out, but not because I'm a liar, but because I'm fucking tired of your idiotic behaviour

    (whooops)
    Everything was fun, but then I broke rapport, and that's game over?
    Breaking rapport is a trap (c) 60
    Balance seems very delicate, no prizing = no attraction, prizing too much = asshole.

    I replied with
    Me: Heh, you are so cute when you are angry
    Me: Anyway I didn't want to upset you. If anything went wrong, I apologize
    Me: Maybe I'm a bit too cocky, but I weren't like that earlier. My schoolyears and childhood made me like that..
    Me: Anyway we can communicate or not communicate, you decide.
    Me: But it just seems too childish
    Her: What is childish? Writing vulgarity?
    Me: If that was so baad, your mind wouldn't even register that.
    Her: You are messing with my brain
    Me: Just a programmer from technical university
    Her: Everything is fine

    Game is crazy. Or maybe I'm crazy.
    Want your opinions.

    UPD: game is not over. There is still a voice in my head "you shouldn't apologize, she should apologize" but that's just a way to lose a girl..


  • #2
    Texting is a delicate negotiation. IMO the problem wasn't breaking rapport but you probably did too much prizing over text. You can't sell it like you can in person. This was just the straw that broke the camels back.
    There's a devil in my dick, and some demons in my semen...

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    • #3
      Yikes. That was just uncalibrated. Next time, just stick to using texting to set up logistics. At least until you've already had sex with the girl.

      Johnny

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      • #4
        Originally posted by JohnnyC69 View Post
        Yikes. That was just uncalibrated. Next time, just stick to using texting to set up logistics. At least until you've already had sex with the girl.

        Johnny
        I suck at calibration, unfortunately.
        You are right, I am a bit trapped with ego-stroking texting instead of focusing on meeting.
        However texting is just a great fun for me. Gives a high, which I can't achieve through talking. (not a quick mind, not a good talker)

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by maniakka View Post
          There is still a voice in my head "you shouldn't apologize, she should apologize" but that's just a way to lose a girl..
          I wish you listened to that voice!

          You did nothing wrong till you started apologizing for being sexual.

          That is an absolute cardinal sin and you're toast every single time you do that.


          If a girl has a problem with sexual flirting (nothing vulgar) prior
          to the date, then DEAL IS OFF as far as i am concerned.

          If she gives me token light-hearted resistance that's fine, i can plough through that.
          But any prudish or aggressive feminist-witch type resistance is not tolerated.

          Just this year, where i've been agressively adotping this strategy, my hit rate on first dates is ridicolously high.
          Very few escape me on the first date.

          So you are on the right track, you just came across the wrong girl.

          Keep at it and you'll see phenomenal results.
          Anyone with website building experience please contact me.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by cobi View Post
            I wish you listened to that voice!

            You did nothing wrong till you started apologizing for being sexual.

            That is an absolute cardinal sin and you're toast every single time you do that.
            Thanks for that reminder. Will watch for it. I didn't think I apologized for 'being sexual'. I apologized for something that pissed her, but I don't know what it was. I even stated that I'm too cocky, but that's somebody I became. Maybe there is no difference, and it felt like apologizing 'for sexual desires'. However I still don't get it. That way if a girl is pissed about something, you don't apologize and play cocky and think that she is causing drama and expect her to apologize, you have a high chance to lose her. She'll think "he is an asshole. fuck him" and auto-reject, no? I had situations like that in my experience. Girls can be willing to walk away, only wanting to be returned, no?

            Cobi, your gameplan is to escalate through text, meet somewhere near your place, sex or NEXT, right?

            Comment


            • #7
              As you know, I love analyzing stuff like this to death.

              I don't know what lead up to this point or if you've already met. It would have been helpful to know how you got in touch the first time, but I'm just going to jump into it from scratch then.

              Be warned, tho. Today I'm going to be RUTHLESS!

              > Her: Good night! We should finally see each other!

              GREAT! This is an invitation. Just get into logistics. In fact, if you did that to begin with - as in at this moment in the conversation - you could probably have gotten a meet-up and avoided all the following sillyness, most of which is better to take IRL anyway.

              If you want to save time, you can really just skip all of the comments below and go directly to the end of this post, as all the rest of the messages probably could have been avoided entirely.

              > Me: Certainly. While it's not too cold and we don't wear too many clothes
              > Me: You want me?

              Instead you did nothing of the sort and just continued flirting.

              Why would you ask, anyway? It's a sign of weakness. Now flirting can be fun, if you think it's OK to validate her in advance and don't have an immediate need to have sex with the girl, and naturally she flirts back...

              > Her: Noooo!!!

              Aww, what a cute and flirty reply! Or what did you expect, anyway?

              > Me: Get out, liar

              This is either very bad, or very good, depending if she views it as a flirt, or if she views it as you getting upset about her answer - which was of course really a flirt.

              > Her: I'll get out, but not because I'm a liar, but because I'm fucking tired of your idiotic behaviour

              I'm inclined to aggree with her, Maniakka, because it seems to her that you've misunderstood her flirtations "no" as something serious, when it really wasn't.

              > Me: Heh, you are so cute when you are angry

              Yes, cool answer and all, but you're really in damage control by now.

              > Me: Anyway I didn't want to upset you. If anything went wrong, I apologize

              And you should stop it by not texting anymore, and certainly not by freaking out like this:

              > Me: Maybe I'm a bit too cocky, but I weren't like that earlier. My schoolyears and childhood made me like that..

              ...where you start appoligizing and throwing in...

              > Me: Anyway we can communicate or not communicate, you decide.

              ...the old ultimatum.

              > Me: But it just seems too childish

              And the old accusation...

              > Her: What is childish? Writing vulgarity?

              Finally she graces you with an answer, but now she's just appalled that you could destroy such a fine moment and crumble the fine impression she had about you before.

              > Me: If that was so baad, your mind wouldn't even register that.

              This one's actially pretty smart, but really it's already too late, IMO.

              > Her: You are messing with my brain

              No matter. She didn't get it, anyway. This can actually be a good thing, hadn't it been for sending yet another appology:

              > Me: Just a programmer from technical university

              Apologising at this point just makes you seem pathetic.

              > Her: Everything is fine

              And naturally, by this time, she's lost all interest in you.

              Btw. there's another trend in your round of text flirting - that of YOU sending most of the texts, and that of YOU also sending the longest texts. That shows that you're the one most heavily invested in this interaction, and naturally she can relax and just enjoy the validation it is getting her. A way to handle this can be to always try to text a little less than she does, but it's not a hard rule.

              UPD: game is not over. There is still a voice in my head "you shouldn't apologize, she should apologize" but that's just a way to lose a girl..
              No, you should CUT THE CRAP and GO FOR LOGISTICS!!!

              In this interaction, you could have done it after the first message, but instead you got into a pointless round of SMS flirting. If it's one piece of advice I have really taken to heart, it's that the mobile phone is for logistics, and not for flirting. The first time I got that advice was when I asked a female friend of mine what I should answer to this flirty text I got. She just looked at me with disbelief and told me, "Kebman, the mobile phone isn't for flirting. You can save flirting for real life. The mobile phone is for planning meet-ups ONLY!" She sounded serious, so I took her advice.

              Listen, if you did anything right the first time you saw her, she'll probably want to see you anyway, and all you have to do to get that is to send an open invitation, for instance like so:

              –I'm doing X on x-day. Msg if you wanna hook up.
              –I'm going to the cinema to watch a Nouvelle Vague film. It's SO cool! Msg if you wanna join.

              Only examples.

              The reason I emphasize such messages, is that it saves you a TON if time, and it helps you to get on with your life. Not least, it helps you not fuck up like you did in this thread of texts.
              I know HTML (How To Meet Ladies)

              Comment


              • #8
                KEB, OMG!!!
                You explained everything greatly.
                I had a little butt-hurt reading your reply.

                I don't write more than girls. She just went offline, and I wanted to explain myself to her.

                Actually I knew her for a while, I was not sure whether she sees me as a friend or not, because we had a couple of rather platonic meets quite long ago.(I didn't escalate much)
                So I thought I could be a friend-zoned.
                I used a lot of prizing and sexuality several weeks ago to not be considered as a friend, she was into it and wanted to meet me. And we kinda arranged a meeting. I told her to meet me at X at Y, she replied "I hope I'll come". She flaked, I waited for her, didn't call her and next week sent her "I'm sorry, I couldn't come at friday, I was too tired". To which she responded positively, said she was also too tired and that's fine cause we didn't officialy arrange anything.
                To which I replied that I thought she waited for me at X and cool that she didn't actually wait for me.
                She texted she wanted to meet me.
                I thought of her as a flaky girl and didn't straight go for logistics that time.
                (seems I'm a bit insecure after having faced lots of flakiness/rejections)

                Flirtatious no. Shit. Crazy. How do you guys even learn what is flirtatious and what is not, what is shit test and what is real.
                Thanx again.

                the mobile phone isn't for flirting. You can save flirting for real life. The mobile phone is for planning meet-ups ONLY!"
                OK.
                CUT THE CRAP and GO FOR LOGISTICS
                Firmware upgraded

                Whatever happens with that girl.. It's all for the best. I'll have a motivation to meet new girls.

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                • #9
                  If you were to analyze the "Noooo!!!", you could probably say that there was an unnatural amount of o's and exclamation marks for it to be a serious reply, and thus it had to be a flirt. Also this should be a pointer to you on how difficult it is to really know what's going on when communication trough texts. In itself that's a reason to never use texting as a way of flirting.

                  Usually it's better to just assume she's flirting, no matter her answer. The secret here does not lie in knowing when she's flirting, but in assuming that she does. Always assume she's flirting. Always assume she's into you. If she wasn't, then there wouldn't be any need for her to text you, would it?

                  In fact, if she initiates contact or says that she wants to meet you, it's damn obvious that she's telling you the truth. There isn't even need for assumption, so just take it at face value and start planning the meet-up instead of seeming insecure by flirting even more. "Over-flirting" like that is just like missing a buying signal within sales terminology, and thus losing the sale by over-selling.

                  Also, when you know her a little, but she seems flaky, my experience is that open invitations work even better. Just give her one, and then forget about her completely until she gives you a positive reply. In the mean time it's important that you get on with your life. You can even ignore other texts, as the only thing you're interested in is really the meet-up. If she texted anything else, the only thing I would answer with would at most be "LOL", "Mhm" or "OK", just to aknowledge her enough to not seem like a total dick.

                  Also, by giving the shortest answers to her coming on to you, you become the prize. Thus, if she sends you a lot of texts, just reply with "So I assume you want to meet?" and then plan logisticst again.
                  I know HTML (How To Meet Ladies)

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    When a girl calls me a pervert or the like, I always go with "You know you love it!" followed by a big smile and hug her close if in person (smiley on text).

                    "You want me" just seemed like straight out of nowhere and completely killing the playfulness of the interaction.

                    She definitely seemed to be highly attracted with that opening text so it's not a matter of you being too forward. Most likely your phrasing was a real strong turnoff for her, probably from past experience with someone talking to her that way.

                    Still, text is a very poor form of communication open to a ton of variables that could've led her to that reaction. I'd say this one's done and just move on. At least you learned something new.
                    "We can talk about relationships but there's better things to fill your head with..." - "Whole New Way", Scissor Sisters

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                    • #11
                      Well, don't feel too bad. I'm a female and I have no clue what got her upset. WTF? Seems like she doesn't have a sense of humor.
                      Check out my blog!
                      http://lifeofalovergirl.wordpress.com/

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                      • #12
                        Actually, I can kinda see where you went wrong, mate, and it wasn't only in apologising. I tend to agree with insurgent. "You want me?" is way too serious and out of nowhere. Unless you're completely certain this girl is into it, I'd leave that sort of stuff 'til you're face-to-face.

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