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New here, and knew my sticking point.

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  • New here, and knew my sticking point.

    Hey - new member here. I used to post on the Fastseduction boards a little but have decided to jump on over. I've been reading through the posts and its all good stuff. Seems to be a lot less ego's here and everyone out to help each other.

    Anyway, I'm working on my game (isn't everyone?) and reading through some of the posts on here my sticking point suddenly jumped out and smacked me in the face. Someone (can't remember the poster, sorry) summed it up perfectly - too much comfort, not enough attraction. That has been me to a T.

    I've been really pushing working on my game in 2011 and have managed a fairly decent success at the intial approach, online game, and first meets. Not stellar but I'm getting to the next stage (and friended) enough to know my real problem lies in the attration and escalation stage. I'm pretty comfortable around women and can talk about pretty much anything and keep it flirty, but its escilating it sexually, building attraction and arousal thats the problem. Too much fluff and comfort, and there is a definate difference between flirting and actually escalating I think (at least I think that now lol). In fact just got a 'can we be friends' text tonight. Not upset over it, but I wanted to get a lay out of it as I've met her about 5 times, the last time I even stayed over. So I SHOULD have gotten the lay. It confused the hell out of me as we were in bed and I started to fool around with her and I stripped her (and me) when she says 'we aren't having sex tonight'. I left it for a bit and resumed kissing, getting heavier, and tried again. Again blown out. It didn't happen. After that she got cold with me over the course of the week and resulted in the text tonight 'You're great but I just don't know what I want, but I want to be friends' type of thing. Pretty much a standard line. I knew it was finished after she went cold on me earlier but couldn't figure out what had gone wrong, and reading through these posts was what flagged it to me. A bloody big red flag. Looking back I had done very little to raise her attraction to me, everything was repatative and standard and COMFORTABLE. It's so easy looking back, but at the time I was totally blind to what I was doing. Hopefully now I know I can work on that big time.

    Oh, and as an aside, I had some pretty bad stomache troubles that night and, during the night when I (hoped) thought she was asleep, I had to sneak into the bathroom, and destroy her toilet I'm pretty sure it will have woken her (bedroom was close) and she will have heard. Not my proudest hour haha. Still, definately don't think a hearing massive shit was the reason behind the 'friending' May just added to the problem.

    So, I know what I need to work on (other than the stomach issues haha). I'm not a virgin and have had sex a lot, but the vast majority with women who I'm not totally into. Its with the girls I like and am really attracted to where I tend to mess up, or don't even begin the attraction and escalation in most cases. So thats what I need to fix. So I guess I'm looking for pointers on this, as looking through the posts its a common problem.

    I have a few other first dates set up with different girls (one tomorrow (day date), one next week (evening date) and one who lives about an hour away - and already started with the sexual banter there so I should definately be looking for a lay when we meet), two of which came from online and one from night game, and I want to practice getting this sticking point fixed.

    A few questions:
    Silly as it sounds, how do you know when you should be escalating. Is it as soon as you realise that the comfort is there? Like as soon as that becomes apparant start moving things to a sexual topic, and looking for ways to do that?
    A couple of pointers on techniques here would be helpful, if anyone has any they use to good affect?
    And also, which is linked, talking dirty. It's something I know, when the time is right, is great for turning women on. But its the same thing, I tend to use it with the girls I'm not into, actually seeing what I can get away with saying as its pretty amusing to see how much they like and how much I can push it - and they never seem to freak! lol. But its with the girls I like I shy away from it when we do start fooling around. I become pretty much silent other than some means and groans. Urrrghh, the joys of looking back at the mistakes we make. Need to lose this mindest with girls I like.

    Anyway, this is turning into War & Peace - so I'll wrap it up.

    A big hello to all, and any advice or comments more than welcome.

    R

  • #2
    So, I know what I need to work on (other than the stomach issues haha). I'm not a virgin and have had sex a lot, but the vast majority with women who I'm not totally into. Its with the girls I like and am really attracted to where I tend to mess up, or don't even begin the attraction and escalation in most cases. So thats what I need to fix. So I guess I'm looking for pointers on this, as looking through the posts its a common problem.

    Looks like you have it figured out but don't know it,lol.

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    • #3
      Lol - pretty much. I know the problem area (or at least one of them) but putting it right will be the tricky part.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Raziel View Post
        A few questions:
        Silly as it sounds, how do you know when you should be escalating. Is it as soon as you realise that the comfort is there? Like as soon as that becomes apparant start moving things to a sexual topic, and looking for ways to do that?
        A couple of pointers on techniques here would be helpful, if anyone has any they use to good affect?
        And also, which is linked, talking dirty. It's something I know, when the time is right, is great for turning women on. But its the same thing, I tend to use it with the girls I'm not into, actually seeing what I can get away with saying as its pretty amusing to see how much they like and how much I can push it - and they never seem to freak! lol. But its with the girls I like I shy away from it when we do start fooling around. I become pretty much silent other than some means and groans. Urrrghh, the joys of looking back at the mistakes we make. Need to lose this mindest with girls I like.
        Escalation starts as you're walking up to a girl. You keep it going from there. Slow & steady & self-assured. All conversations drift to sex, just let it happen.

        Read Juggler for some good conversational tech.

        Yeah ditch that sissy mindset of treating the girls you like as precious. Read Sex God Method. That will help change your mind.

        Comment


        • #5
          Thanks Gridlock. I've read some of Jugglers stuff but not a lot, so I'll look into that. Sex God Method is new to me too, so I'll see if I can find it (guessing mASF will hav it archived).

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