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  • Asian Exchange Student

    So a new quarter just started up at my uni not too long ago. On the first week of one of my classes, the professor made us pair up with a partner for an assignment (isn't that great? it's like they're setting you up to get laid). Lucky for me, I got paired up with a hot Chinese girl. A serious 8.5-9, and that's not even the yellow fever talking. Nice body, slightly taller than your average Asian chick, good fashion sense, feminine and nice as fuck.

    But I'm assuming she's just being nice to me for now, so I haven't tried anything with her yet. She usually says hi and bye to me every class now (even after we finished the assignment), let's me copy off her paper, turns in papers for me, etc. I just make small chat with her about the class and the material. When we first got paired up, the professor told us to exchange emails. I noticed most of the other kids in the class weren't participating in that, and I wasn't going to ask her, but she ended up giving me her email anyway. Probably doesn't mean anything, but I thought it might have been a slight IOI.

    Anyway, I'm wondering how I can discreetly hook up with this chick, without making things awkward between us for the rest of the quarter if she isn't into me. I've brushed up on old Neo posts, and Daigoro's Asian Girls guide, but I'm still left with a few questions.

    Any input on this?

  • #2
    Originally posted by NorCal View Post
    Anyway, I'm wondering how I can discreetly hook up with this chick, without making things awkward between us for the rest of the quarter if she isn't into me.
    You can't.

    This kind of depends on the class- if it's small and you are expected to work together a lot (like a lab), then you shouldnt be shitting where you eat. Use the time during this semester to DHV, tease her, flirt with other girls in front of her, etc. Then make your move at the end of the semester.

    If it's just a typical lecture class where you can ignore each other for the rest of the semester, yeah, you can make a move. Don't do it by email though. Just ask her what her plans are for after class in a casual way and then tell her "I'm going to go {inset cool activity here}- you're welcome to join me."

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by JetSetJim View Post
      You can't.
      Yup. And why would you want to? Gnerally speaking, it is a good idea for women to know that you are a sexual being. this has been discussed here before.

      Originally posted by JetSetJim View Post
      This kind of depends on the class- if it's small and you are expected to work together a lot (like a lab), then you shouldnt be shitting where you eat. Use the time during this semester to DHV, tease her, flirt with other girls in front of her, etc. Then make your move at the end of the semester.
      Or you can just embrace the idea that you enjoy meeting new women. You don't owe ANYONE an apology.

      If you are not weird about it, in fact quite a few women are ATTRACTED by it. Sure, you'll also have some haters, but so what? Your job is not to please everyone.

      Originally posted by JetSetJim View Post
      If it's just a typical lecture class where you can ignore each other for the rest of the semester, yeah, you can make a move. Don't do it by email though. Just ask her what her plans are for after class in a casual way and then tell her "I'm going to go {inset cool activity here}- you're welcome to join me."
      I'd say its better to ping and see if she is free and then go for an insta-date right after class.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by NorCal View Post
        {snip}

        Any input on this?

        Yeah ... ever heard of oneitis ?

        You are going to have to learn to make the jump to light speed young padawan. There is NO easing up to ... there is NO subtle hint that can get swept under the rug if you blow it ..

        Learn to proudly make the scar of failure on your essence .. learn to take the pain of rejection and denial ... learn these things and develope a tough outer skin that doesnt get punctured every time you make a pass at a tight assed bitch that doesnt know what she wants anyway. There is no other way.

        Being covert only sends the message that you dont think you are worthy of her. Being innocently OVERT tells her that this is the way you ARE and you dont feel the need to apologize for that. Being comfortable with being a PUA or a Speed Seducer is really just being yourself without any excuses or explaination of any sort .. "Why am I like this ... ? ... No reason , I just am !!"

        Once a girl accepts this about you then they accept everything that goes with 'being you' and that makes life SOOOOOOO much easier that I can't even begin to explain.


        So good luck with this one girl but I dont think your mind is right enough to catch her. You have already put her on a pedistol and in my opinion you are doomed. The only thing left is to LJBF the girl and hope that some day you can overcome your vulnerability to the one-itis desease.

        Comment


        • #5
          I see what hangman is saying, but there is a real risk/benefit ratio here. I'm reluctant to say "go for it" in a tight-knit class because it is SO EASY for the chick to go to the instructor and complain that you are harassing her, and that is some SERIOUS SHIT. If you are very socially aware, and not "weird" then you won't have a problem. The thing is, a LOT of guys who are NOT used to pickup can be weird at first. So you kind of have to ask yourself if you are at a level in your game where you can hit on chicks and have it be a low-key interaction, that doesn't result in them getting creep-vibes even with they reject you.

          As an example, when I first found mASF, I was pumped up on "just go for it", and sent a coworker a suggestive email. Instead of a "no thanks", I got called into the boss's office. In hindsite, it was an AFC, creepy thing to do, and what I should have done was engaged her casually, teased her, DHV'd, and let HER chase ME...if she was interested. But you live and learn.

          OTOH, if she is a FOB Asian chick, she probably has no concept of going to an official and complaining about you, and thus is pretty safe.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by JetSetJim View Post
            I see what hangman is saying, but there is a real risk/benefit ratio here. I'm reluctant to say "go for it" in a tight-knit class because it is SO EASY for the chick to go to the instructor and complain that you are harassing her, and that is some SERIOUS SHIT.
            Come on, JSJ! I think you are thinking of something hardcore here. I am talking about just being social with her, test the waters and if she seems to bite, you ask her out. If she says no, you go get yourself a sandwich. You don't go jump in with a creepy smile and act like you want to hump her right there, or try to push uncalibratedly if she says "no".

            Most pick up in social circle situations, is just being social with women anyway. I am saying that it is okay to be that guy that asks out girls, when you are at this level. Sure, you might get rejected, but thats always a possibility anyway.

            Originally posted by JetSetJim View Post
            As an example, when I first found mASF, I was pumped up on "just go for it", and sent a coworker a suggestive email. Instead of a "no thanks", I got called into the boss's office. In hindsite, it was an AFC, creepy thing to do, and what I should have done was engaged her casually, teased her, DHV'd, and let HER chase ME...if she was interested. But you live and learn.
            Of course. I think we are actually agreeing.

            Originally posted by mankite View Post
            Learn to proudly make the scar of failure on your essence ..
            Yup. Very well said. This is how men are made.

            Any guy who doesn't get rejected is also not getting laid.

            Originally posted by mankite View Post
            Being comfortable with being a PUA or a Speed Seducer is really just being yourself without any excuses or explaination of any sort ..
            This is exactly what I was saying in my last post.

            Comment


            • #7
              I'd consider myself socially aware and my game decent. I've gotten numbers from girls in my classes before, and I've never had anybody report me for anything. I don't consider this oneitis, haha. I've got a few other girls on rotation that I'm trying to lay. I know I need to start going out again though; I've been pretty lazy lately.

              By discreet with this girl, I mostly just meant making it discreet for her, because I think she's one of those Asian girls that only hangs out with other Asians, and she might not want to be seen with me in public. I'd also want to make things less awkward for her if she isn't into me.

              @ JSJ: yeah, this is a small class. Trying to game her and going for the close prematurely and getting rejected would be a little embarrassing because we can't really avoid each other afterwards. DHVing, gaming her little by little over the quarter, and then going for the number or insta-date by the end of the year sounds key; that's actually kind of how I gamed and number closed the girl I wrote about in my last thread here.

              I also like Daigoro's advice of selling her on some big adventure that only I can show her since I'm a local, but then I'm not sure I would deal with logistics.

              Comment


              • #8
                Good advice from the guys. Here's my two cents:

                NorCal, I like your plan, your patience and your mindset. Your situation is a little different from JSJ's a while back so my advice leans more towards laying back and leaving the door open rather than pushing and pursuing.

                The only recommendation I would add is to try to refrain from talking too much about China and cultural differences and basically anything that will reaffirm the gap between you two. IOW, try to treat her like any other girl. This is the opposite of what nerds and Asian studies majors and guys with yellow fever do as a comfort tactic and girls can smell it a mile away. The proper way for a high-value guy to game a foreign student is to go on with your awesome life like a train on its tracks, never deviate, and invite her to hitch a ride. This allows her to maintain discretion with her own circle, as you mentioned, while fueling her curiosity about "how the natives really do it." Be the gateway to new experience.

                It's not as easy as it sounds because due to language problems one of you is bound to say something that seems a little alienating or confusing or just quaint. You will want to attribute everything to her being Chinese when it could just be she's stupid, silly, inarticulate or being a woman. The exception is something like LMR where it's clear she is attracted but fears for her reputation or is confused about your intentions. Here, it's best to assure her that things are cool, you are a discreet guy and that this is perfectly normal in America. Still, though, subcommunicating all of this through your smooth behavior and confidence trumps having to spell it out.

                Finally, the only exception to the ignoring the cultural gap rule applies to food and drink. It's perfectly fine to go to an Asian restaurant or bar where she might feel comfortable and more likely to let her hair down. A Western bar is better, but I'm saying if she's the shy type an Asian place is fine. Just don't reveal that you're a sake connoisseur who's banged all the waitresses.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Daigoro View Post
                  Good advice from the guys. Here's my two cents:

                  NorCal, I like your plan, your patience and your mindset. Your situation is a little different from JSJ's a while back so my advice leans more towards laying back and leaving the door open rather than pushing and pursuing.

                  The only recommendation I would add is to try to refrain from talking too much about China and cultural differences and basically anything that will reaffirm the gap between you two. IOW, try to treat her like any other girl. This is the opposite of what nerds and Asian studies majors and guys with yellow fever do as a comfort tactic and girls can smell it a mile away. The proper way for a high-value guy to game a foreign student is to go on with your awesome life like a train on its tracks, never deviate, and invite her to hitch a ride. This allows her to maintain discretion with her own circle, as you mentioned, while fueling her curiosity about "how the natives really do it." Be the gateway to new experience.

                  It's not as easy as it sounds because due to language problems one of you is bound to say something that seems a little alienating or confusing or just quaint. You will want to attribute everything to her being Chinese when it could just be she's stupid, silly, inarticulate or being a woman. The exception is something like LMR where it's clear she is attracted but fears for her reputation or is confused about your intentions. Here, it's best to assure her that things are cool, you are a discreet guy and that this is perfectly normal in America. Still, though, subcommunicating all of this through your smooth behavior and confidence trumps having to spell it out.

                  Finally, the only exception to the ignoring the cultural gap rule applies to food and drink. It's perfectly fine to go to an Asian restaurant or bar where she might feel comfortable and more likely to let her hair down. A Western bar is better, but I'm saying if she's the shy type an Asian place is fine. Just don't reveal that you're a sake connoisseur who's banged all the waitresses.
                  That's some really great advice. You do know your Asians, Dai.

                  Nick

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Forgot to say my thanks to Dai; thanks for that, bro.

                    ----------------------------------------------------------


                    Figured I'd give everyone an update on this chick:

                    So I haven't really been trying to game her, I've just been mainly talking to her about the class and the material whenever I see her. I tested her one day and completely stopped talking to her and ignored her to see if she would try to re-initiate conversation again, and, as I predicted, the next day she did. She also still greets me first nearly every day.

                    So the other day I start talking to her and she tells me she's not going to be in class next week on a certain day, and she was wondering if I could give her my notes for the day she misses. I just said "yeah, sure," thinking nothing of it, and then class ended (in retrospect, this was probably a bitch move).

                    A little while later, I run into her in the halls and she waves at me and says hi without me doing anything and asks if I have another class. Then she pretty much insisted that I give her my number and I get hers. So we exchange numbers, and me thinking this is clearly an IOI, I tell her to hang out with me over the weekend for "coffee," but she denies me. lol

                    Did I just get friend-zoned or what?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by NorCal View Post
                      Forgot to say my thanks to Dai; thanks for that, bro.

                      ----------------------------------------------------------


                      Figured I'd give everyone an update on this chick:

                      So I haven't really been trying to game her, I've just been mainly talking to her about the class and the material whenever I see her. I tested her one day and completely stopped talking to her and ignored her to see if she would try to re-initiate conversation again, and, as I predicted, the next day she did. She also still greets me first nearly every day.

                      So the other day I start talking to her and she tells me she's not going to be in class next week on a certain day, and she was wondering if I could give her my notes for the day she misses. I just said "yeah, sure," thinking nothing of it, and then class ended (in retrospect, this was probably a bitch move).

                      A little while later, I run into her in the halls and she waves at me and says hi without me doing anything and asks if I have another class. Then she pretty much insisted that I give her my number and I get hers. So we exchange numbers, and me thinking this is clearly an IOI, I tell her to hang out with me over the weekend for "coffee," but she denies me. lol

                      Did I just get friend-zoned or what?
                      You are now the guy she gets her notes from.

                      Nick

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        This girl has been giving you tons of IOI's. Initiating conversation, telling you she's free on a specific date, giving you her phone number, etc. Those are all HUGE green lights. And it seems to me that all you did was invite her for coffee. It may have been too little, too late. I can't tell since I wasn't there. But listen, you HAVE to make your move when the door is open, because it won't stay open forever. Do so discreetly, when you are she are alone for a minute. Be direct, instead of inviting her for coffee, just say "I'd like to get to know you better. I have time on Thursday night." or something like that. It will most likely only work if you are capable of doing so with unflinching eye contact and not a hint of nervousness in your body language or voice. If you can't manage that, do it via text messaging. Whatever you do, keep it on the D&L for now. Keep it very low-key when you're in class with her or her friends are around.

                        She is waiting for you to be the man and take the lead. Grow a pair and do it. I wouldn't worry too much about shitting where you eat, unless you are spectacularly uncalibrated. A pair of uni students hooking up is not exactly unusual and I would say relatively low-risk. Fucking your prof (ask NickDaVinci) or your boss (ask me) is another matter entirely and requires a higher level of discretion.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by NorCal View Post
                          Forgot to say my thanks to Dai; thanks for that, bro.
                          Always glad to offer help.



                          So the other day I start talking to her and she tells me she's not going to be in class next week on a certain day, and she was wondering if I could give her my notes for the day she misses. I just said "yeah, sure," thinking nothing of it, and then class ended (in retrospect, this was probably a bitch move).
                          Opportunity window missed.

                          Pretend this girl was just any girl. Would a high-value guy do a favor for any girl for no reason? I would have said (with a grin), "Are you crazy? What are you going to do for me?" and put her on the spot and made her buy me a snack or a present.


                          A little while later, I run into her in the halls and she waves at me and says hi without me doing anything and asks if I have another class. Then she pretty much insisted that I give her my number and I get hers. So we exchange numbers, and me thinking this is clearly an IOI, I tell her to hang out with me over the weekend for "coffee," but she denies me. lol

                          Did I just get friend-zoned or what?

                          You're not friend-zoned, but you're not in a good position value-wise.

                          Remember when I told you to DHV and reveal your awesomeness so she can hitch a ride? Where's the awesomeness? In terms of gaming, all you've succeeded in doing is not blurting out "I love you!" (That's a bit harsh. I'm trying to amuse myself.) Hanging out for coffee is not awesome. It's normal. She might be worried you're gonna try to talk her ear off. What about the awesome places that you know about that she hasn't been to? Your offer was weak sauce and too out-of-the-blue.

                          Also, don't be so delicate with her. She's not going to break. Invite her along, insist, tell her she's coming and that she'll enjoy herself and not to worry because you're gonna show her something amazing. Tell her she's crazy and boring if she doesn't take you up on her offer and if she STILL refuses, drop her and continue on your awesome way until she hits you up.

                          As Yarbles said, don't ever expect an Asian girl to take the lead or bite at your first (weak) offer.

                          Reset and try again.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Thanks for the words Yarbles, Dai.

                            Yeah, I'd say I definitely am a little too delicate with Asian women. They just give off this vibe to me like they'd easily get offended or frightened if I did or said something wrong. In my mind, I guess, I still view them as 'perfect little flowers' so to speak who can do no wrong, but THAT is the way they present themselves. But we all know appearances can be deceiving. With American women, I know they're all sluts itching to get fucked, and I know they respond to dominace and treating them like crap or teasing enough to knock them off their pedastal.

                            I'm still not too calibrated yet with leading and being direct with FOB Asian women, but I'll keep everything in mind and wait for her to text me, then go from there.

                            Thanks, guys.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by NorCal View Post
                              So I haven't really been trying to game her, I've just been mainly talking to her about the class and the material whenever I see her.
                              Too slow. I get slow game, but at some point you're going to have to ramp it up.

                              I tested her one day and completely stopped talking to her and ignored her to see if she would try to re-initiate conversation again,
                              Why didn't you test her by busting a move?

                              ...she was wondering if I could give her my notes for the day she misses. I just said "yeah, sure," thinking nothing of it, and then class ended (in retrospect, this was probably a bitch move)
                              .

                              You're getting daaaaangerously close to supplicating orbiter territory. THIS right here - the "give me your notes" thing - was as clear an opportunity as you're going to get. This is where you pull the old, "study together" bit. Oldest trick in the book, but it works!

                              HB: Can I have your notes?
                              You: I was looking for a study partner for the test that's coming up. Drop by and we'll look the notes over together.

                              A little while later, I run into her in the halls and she waves at me and says hi without me doing anything and asks if I have another class. Then she pretty much insisted that I give her my number and I get hers. So we exchange numbers, and me thinking this is clearly an IOI,
                              One of two things going on here. Either...

                              1. She's in this country for big Western cock, and since you're not getting that message, she's ramping up HER game. Better make your move, man. Women don't stay open forever.

                              or...

                              2. She has you pegged as a supplicating orbiter with oneitis. She's going to use your number to call you up and ask you to bring your notes to her room, where she will accept them and then slam the door in your face.
                              I tell her to hang out with me over the weekend for "coffee," but she denies me. lol
                              Coffee, schmoffee. That is an AFC date idea. You're in college. Insta-date her and bring her back to your room.

                              Did I just get friend-zoned or what?
                              Probably, I'm afraid.

                              If I'm pessimistic about this, it's because this reads just like any number of friend-zonings I got in college. Girl likes me but I move too slow (chat casually, play little attention-getting games such as ignoring her), then I move in social instead of seductive (ask her OUT for coffee instead of IN for "studying"), and pretty soon she's not even acknowledging me anymore. I cringe to think of all the college pussy I'd have gotten if only I'd moved in decisively and with big balls.

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