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  • coworker majorly disrespects me & i do nothing(physical)

    ok well im the same silenced from masf and ive had trouble with this very issue alot.

    back story:
    this one chick(CHICK1) has been disrespectful to me before and smartarse-ie (not even a word lol) and i talked to a manager and he sorted it out.
    it was all good for ages she was sweet as pie from then on. then sometime last week (school holidays) she was working during the day and their was another girl(CHICK2) whos really likes idk how else to say this but; testing people (never seen her do it to other people but still).
    well anyway this chick who throws tests or whatever at me 24/7 and is disrespectful to me alot. (i actually consider her HSE)
    well i started and i was doing something with a pen and CHICK1 says something like "hey stop doing that" and grabs the pen off me.
    i look at her strangely and take the pen back off her turn around and keep doing what i was doing (my look was a "wtf are you doing?") CHICK2 seen this and laughed and idk what she said but she grabbed the pen off me and threw it a couple metres and on the floor.
    and then says to CHICK1 "thats how you handle him" or something along those lines. (pretty sure CHICK1 laughed a little. not too sure)
    i tell her shes picking it up (which she doesnt and i ignore her for the rest of the day)


    ok fast forward to a few days ago (still school holidays)
    both chicks are working again, i start early so i arrive about 5 mins before i start and as im walking in with my head phones bump into CHICK2 (idk someone told me here that if ur not bumping into people and just squeezing by then ur a pussy or something along those lines lol) and it was line a full on bang head on only a slight bump (i had my head phones on but heard her say something but i kept walking)

    i just want to add aswell, MOST of the chicks at my work who i know say they want to hit me/punch me.
    not all of them but i added it here because if its coming from more then 1 chick it means im doing something wrong/right (i think wrong lol)

    so i start work and talk to one of my mates and she starts saying how i bumped into her etc and how i did it on purpose. i ask her(CHICK2):
    me: when?
    her: when you walked in
    me: really? if i did im sorry then
    her: do you really mean it?
    me: yeah im sorry
    her: yada yada ok
    she wasnt being disrespectful at all or anything(man i need a new word for this.. seems like im using it alot) her face expressions were like i did it on purpose then got friendlier and friendlier

    ok so no trouble CHICK2 leaves to go do something (she was nice to me the whole time)
    CHICK1 has been working since 7:30am and i remember i posted some sarcastic reply to her facebook message asking if anyone wanted a shift of hers (she coped 7:30am setups for 4 days) my reply was something like "looks like your going to have a good weekend NAME ."

    anyway i dont remember how it started but she said the same thing most girls say
    "i just want to hit/punch you" and i said something (probally cool story bro (lol))

    she actually moves a little closer and puts her fist close to my face and hits me(it all happened so fast) she didnt full on punch me but i was shocked she did that and froze for a second.
    said something like thats assault or something (in a funny voice )
    i tried to play it cool but i was pissed and was thinking about telling a manager but didnt.
    i remember i turned around and said dont assault or something and she said ok then ill verbally assault you
    " your a faggot" (lucky for me i had gotten of this problem a long time ago so i didnt care what she said)

    i said in my head (ok hard next this bitch) didnt talk to her at all then she went on a break and i was talking to my mate again and CHICK1 and lets say VGIRL start calling my name (to which i ignore, till they're both insisting on talking to me)
    i reply and CHICK1 asks me something which i answer shortly then turn to VGIRL and start talking to her.
    (VGIRL was calling me to talk to CHICK1)

    now thats what happened.
    this would've ruined my day about a year ago but not today but i was angry so bad. im staying up writing this when i have work tomorrow that's how much i want to tell you guys about this so you can(hopefully) help me help myself.

    im really mad at myself in a way. because ive read alot about this stuff (but forgotten somehow) on how to handle these situations but when they just shock you like that i wasnt expecting it and tried to play it cool. (BAD MOVE!)


    i remember another chick from work a while back was being disrespectful and i told her off.
    not sure of the wording but something along to lines of: dont talk to me like that. or something and the next time i seen that chick she was the nicest chick ever!

    omg.. another coworker a few weeks ago asked me to take a shift of hers which i replied "no" with a smile on my face. (she insisted i take it and even asked me again. and a few other people did aswell)
    i seen her a week ago and she was nice as pie!
    found out shes got ANOTHER boyfriend lol. thats 3 boyfriends in the time i've known her (probally around a year) blackdragon knows his shit


    anyway all comments appreciated!

    PCE!

  • #2
    Originally posted by Silenced View Post
    ok well im the same silenced from masf and ive had trouble with this very issue alot.

    back story:
    this one chick(CHICK1) has been disrespectful to me before and smartarse-ie (not even a word lol) and i talked to a manager and he sorted it out.
    Don't talk behind people's back. It's uncool and beta behavior. Always give whomever you have a problem with a fair chance to defend themselves. Imagine how you would feel if someone went to the manager and complained without you getting a chance to tell your side of the story. So what you should've done is asked the manager to mediate a session between the two of you and figure out what the problem was (which a GOOD manager should have done anyway).

    it was all good for ages she was sweet as pie from then on. then sometime last week (school holidays) she was working during the day and their was another girl(CHICK2) whos really likes idk how else to say this but; testing people (never seen her do it to other people but still).
    well anyway this chick who throws tests or whatever at me 24/7 and is disrespectful to me alot. (i actually consider her HSE)
    Anyone who openly disrespects (or "tests") people like that is simply doing so out of insecurity and need to lower everyone else's value. That's about as LSE a behavior there is. A truly high self esteem person treats people with dignity and grace, because that's how they would like to be treated.

    well i started and i was doing something with a pen and CHICK1 says something like "hey stop doing that" and grabs the pen off me.
    How old are these girls? I would ask that honestly, as a response. "How old are you? Why don't you grow up?" and then LEAVE their space. You don't need to be around them I assume, so don't. If someone is openly being an asshole to you and you don't want to escalate the situation, LEAVE.

    CHICK2 seen this and laughed and idk what she said but she grabbed the pen off me and threw it a couple metres and on the floor.
    and then says to CHICK1 "thats how you handle him" or something along those lines. (pretty sure CHICK1 laughed a little. not too sure)
    i tell her shes picking it up (which she doesnt and i ignore her for the rest of the day)
    If you stay in the presence of people who are bullying you, you're basically giving them permission to do it again. Don't wanna be bullied? Don't hang out where the bullies are.

    At this point I would've very sternly and seriously mentioned to this woman that if she does not "get her shit together and quit fucking around, she will lose her job. So grow up, or stay the fuck of my way, understand?" then LEAVE.

    I just want to add aswell, MOST of the chicks at my work who i know say they want to hit me/punch me.
    not all of them but i added it here because if its coming from more then 1 chick it means im doing something wrong/right (i think wrong lol)
    Why would people wanting to be violent with you be a sign that you're doing something right???

    CHICK1 has been working since 7:30am and i remember i posted some sarcastic reply to her facebook message asking if anyone wanted a shift of hers (she coped 7:30am setups for 4 days) my reply was something like "looks like your going to have a good weekend NAME ."
    Why are you friends with someone who's openly hostile with you? You don't have to talk to her, you don't have to interact with her other than for strict work purposes and in the presence of others.

    anyway i dont remember how it started but she said the same thing most girls say
    "i just want to hit/punch you" and i said something (probally cool story bro (lol))
    That is a threat to your livelihood. You may think she is playing, or being cute, but if it was a 6'2" guy saying that stuff you would report it to security or your boss or whatever, right?

    You're allowing this to escalate because you're not seeing how seriously degrading her behavior is. Stop being so nice to people who aren't nice to you. Nobody has a right to kindness, they must earn it.

    she actually moves a little closer and puts her fist close to my face and hits me(it all happened so fast) she didnt full on punch me but i was shocked she did that and froze for a second.
    said something like thats assault or something (in a funny voice )
    i tried to play it cool but i was pissed and was thinking about telling a manager but didnt.
    i remember i turned around and said dont assault or something and she said ok then ill verbally assault you
    " your a faggot" (lucky for me i had gotten of this problem a long time ago so i didnt care what she said)
    Did anyone see you???

    This is precisely why, if someone has threatened you physically, which she has, you must make it a point of never being alone with them. Just like if a man is being way too suggestive and inapropriate with a woman, she will do anything in her power to never be isolated with him.

    What you should have done is told her she just did the dumbest thing in her whole life, told your manager you're leaving because you've to go to the hospital. Go straight to the emergency room and have records of all of this, then sue her ass for assault. It may sounds like way to much trouble but guess what, she (and anyone else) just realized that screwing with you was the worst mistake she could've possibly made. She won't be thinking it's so funny when she has to pick up trash from parks for a few weeks and has a tough time getting a job because of her criminal record.

    You have rights as a person, but nobody is going to enforce them unless you recognize them first. It's not a manner of being cool, or saving face. You can get another job. But you (or anyone) should NOT have to be subjected to demeaning behavior from inhumane, uncivilized, immature idiots. And you should make sure they won't be fucking around anyone in the future.

    Comment


    • #3
      The shit that you are dealing with is not normal at all. Chicks shouldn't be treating you like this in a million years.

      My ex-wife had a guy in her workplace that her girlfriends would make fun of all the time. He was living with his mom at the age of thirty-something and his mom would still pick out his clothes.

      My point is that your problem might not be as simple as a technique here or a line there. Travel the world or something. Be independent. Once you have a certain kind of strength, this won't even happen. Bitch takes your pen and throws it away? WTF?

      Comment


      • #4
        This stuff is serious.
        The problem comes from deep within you.
        I think they see you as a pussy who wants to be liked by anyone, so they don't think you'll mistreat them, no matter what you do.

        Respect is something that you should demand. From the moment the first girl took your pen you should have said "what the FUCK are you doing?" with a serious face. That would show them you are not taking their crap. The second girl wouldn't risk taking her chances, but even in the unlikely event that she would, you respond in an even more agressive tone, and they would calm themselves.

        When some girl threatens you with hitting you (the I wanna hit you line) you simply say "you'd better not, you could get hurt by a reflex or something". I always say girls who begin to physically bug me (no one has ever hit me) a story about a girlfriend of mine who tried to hit me and got a serious injure in her wrist just because I raised a hand to protect myself. This shows them that in the midst of the attack you might "lose control" and she can get hurt, even when you would never intentionally hit a woman. It doesn't matter if the story is real or not. It's the result you are after. In my case the story is only partially true, but it gets the result I'm after.

        The point here is you don't have to be nice to people who are not nice to you, and you can use strong language that shows:

        1. It doesn't emotionaly affect you
        2. You don't whine about it
        3. You demand respect

        number 3 is most important, but must be done in a way that shows 1 and 2, preferably short sentences that don't require you to explain yourself.

        Comment


        • #5
          Your problem is that you haven't learn some basic social skills. How old are you ? How old are these girls ? I presume you are all underage,am I correct ?
          I will throw you some suggestion :
          Next time she throws some of you stuff,you do the same or something similiar. Mess with her same way she is messing with you,see if she will like it.
          And if somebody hits you,you hit back,it doesn't metter if she is a girl or not. I would try to deflect her punch,that should be instict anyways,if somebody is trying to punch you,deflect it. If not,then hit her back. A mild slap in the face or something,dont hit her with your fist.
          And if somebody is beeing rude verbally for no reason,and calling you names,you do the same thing. If she called your a faggot,you call her a bitch.
          Because that what she is.

          Comment


          • #6
            This disrespect has gone on too long. Getting your balls back is going to be really hard, because this crap is normal behavior for those chicks now. I think it would be easier to just quit and start over elsewhere. Just make sure you don't start enabling bad behavior at your new job.

            Comment


            • #7
              Silence, there is a reason when you join these forums that you are asked to provide some details about yourself including a bio, your age and number of lays. It helps to tailor an answer which is appropriate for you.

              What I don't think you should do is hit back at one of your co-workers or make a drama out of it and run to the hospital. When you're at work you need to be seen to be, "in the right," and that means being totally in control of yourself at all times. You need to remain as professional as possible.

              That said, I'd like to ask a few questions about the situation at hand.

              What exactly were you doing with the pen that made the girls angry?
              Why didn't you apologise immediately when you bumped into that girl?
              If you don't get on with these girls why are you leaving messages on their facebook?
              What is the significance of not swapping a shift with this 3rd girl and how is that connected to her boyfriend situation?

              Also, how would you describe yourself as a person and why do you think these girls don't like you?

              Comment


              • #8
                Don't hit the girls back. It shows they got you. Other guys (mostly beta males) think its their job to protect all women regardless of how wrong they are- and for hitting one bitch in the face you could have 4 guys swearing she did nothing and you losing your job/getting in a fight/getting arrested/etc. The law/society looks down on men beating women.

                The pen shit is the symptom, ignore it and fix the underlying problem.

                You said, "in my head i'm thinking hard next the bitch." Is this happening from girls you're hitting on? If it is, don't hit on girls at work for this very reason- YOU CAN'T GET RID OF THEM if it doesn't go well.

                I don't know what this means, "it was line a full on bang head on only a slight bump."

                Answer Solus's questions so we have more information about the whole situation.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Learn how to set some boundaries and have some self respect for yourself nobody should treat you that way bro ,I agree with some of the comments the problem you have comes from within you .Is also a lack on being social and isolating yourself from people since you where a little kid fucks up your confidence ... I use to know a kid like that a while back the only thing they weren't that disrespectful towards him as they are with you but they always bossed him around especially lunch time they will give him a big list and tell him what to buy. I felt bad for the guy because when he was gone everybody will talk how dorky he was and how bad he wanted to fit in mostly girls felt bad for him ...

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I think the issue here is "presence". Some guys just don't have it. Now, for example, I can't imagine a woman doing this to me. It's just not the way my universe works. And I think that women sense that on a deep, deep level. They know who they can get away with this shit with and who they can't.

                    So, you have a problem: You are not giving off the "I am not a man to be fucked with" vibe. Clearly, you have to work on that. And it's hard. It's VERY much an inner game issue, and like all inner game issues, there is no quick fix. Plus, you are not going to change (easily) the way people who already know you see you.

                    You need to read up on Alpha male stuff and also look into martial arts or something. Not so you can kick ass- you can study something like Aikido which is totally defensive, and still get the same benefit. What you are aiming for is developing a certain "presence". And it doesnt matter if you are tall, short, skinny, fat, muscular or slender, although some physical aspects can help. It's the way you handle yourself and other people, the way you stand, the way you look at them.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I think you need to put on your most scary and intimidating voice and act ANGRY when she does something like that, then walk off. The point is to make it very clear you are pissed by her behavior. Anyone with any kind of sense would leave you alone or apologize after that. It sounds like she is taking your attempts to act "cool" as meaning its okay to continue to pester you and get in your face.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        ok thanks for all the replies, i really appreciate it!
                        now ill answer all your questions & judgements.
                        (LONG)

                        Don't talk behind people's back. SNIP
                        yeah i was angry at that time and even left work early thats when he asked me whats wrong and i told him.

                        Anyone who openly disrespects (or "tests") people like that is simply doing so out of insecurity and need to lower everyone else's value.SNIP
                        your right! here i was thinking she was she was HSE.. my bad

                        How old are these girls? SNIP
                        im not sure exactly but they are underage probally 16-17. that "leaving there space" thing has really hit me. i read the 5 replies this morning when i woke up and today i used it a few times today for anyone who was bugging me.

                        If you stay in the presence of people who are bullying you, you're basically giving SNIP
                        yes i understand what your saying. its just this hit me by surprise! i never would've thought in a million years this chick would do something like that.

                        Why would people wanting to be violent with you be a sign that you're doing something right???
                        delusional. i am. i admit it. i was actually thinking of just saying "something im doing right."

                        Why are you friends with someone who's openly hostile with you? You don't have to talk to her, you don't have to interact with her other than for strict work purposes and in the presence of others.
                        im not friends with her. most people at my work have eachother on facebook and the timing was wrong.. (even tho i think about it now. i commented on her facebook photo(of her shifts for the week and if anyone wanted some) the saturday(5 days after CHICK1 and CHICK2 threw the pen))
                        since then ive unfriended her on facebook (if that counts as anything..) i was even thinking about deleting a few people and only having close friends on there.

                        That is a threat to your livelihood. You may think she is playing, or being cute, but if it was a 6'2" guy saying that stuff you would report it to security or your boss or whatever, right?

                        You're allowing this to escalate because you're not seeing how seriously degrading her behavior is. Stop being so nice to people who aren't nice to you. Nobody has a right to kindness, they must earn it.
                        this comment really got to me. thank you

                        Did anyone see you???

                        This is precisely why, SNIP
                        1 other girl seen it. she was standing about a metre away. (and after this she has been all disrespectful to me aswell.) i knew this would happen and idc im not going to talk to her anymore, she seems really LSE.

                        The shit that you are dealing with is not normal at all. Chicks shouldn't be treating you like this in a million years.
                        the stuff i wrote was all the bad stuff, its not like it happens all the time. CHICK1 had seen me with another chick going back to my house by bus. and was all telling me where she lived etc (imo trying to get validation) she even has a couple friends who were wondering what was going on between me and that chick (not CHICK1).

                        My ex-wife had a guy in her workplace that her girlfriends would make fun of all the time. He was living with his mom at the age of thirty-something and his mom would still pick out his clothes.
                        i hope your not trying to imply something here...


                        My point is that your problem might not be as simple as a technique here or a line there. Travel the world or something. Be independent. Once you have a certain kind of strength, this won't even happen. Bitch takes your pen and throws it away? WTF?
                        i'd love to travel the world. so far the furthest i've been is too NSW by car! and just over the border aswell.


                        This stuff is serious.
                        The problem comes from deep within you.
                        I think they see you as a pussy who wants to be liked by anyone, so they don't think you'll mistreat them, no matter what you do.
                        idk what they see me as but im 100% sure i dont want to be liked by everyone.
                        not meaning to argue or anything with you in anyway.
                        but the last bit is correct.(im sure of it..)

                        Respect is something that you should demand. From the moment the first girl took your pen you SNIP
                        very good advice. thank you i think ill start saying that to whoever says that to me again.


                        Your problem is that you haven't learn some basic social skills. How old are you ? How old are these girls ? I presume you are all underage,am I correct ?
                        im 18 "these" girls (i think ur refering to the ones saying they want to hit me? or CHICK1 and CHICK2?)
                        CHICK1 is 16-17 and CHICK2 is i think 20+ not too sure.
                        to the ones saying they want to hit me. are 15-16

                        I will throw you some suggestion :
                        Next time she throws some of you stuff,you do the same or something similiar. Mess with her same way she is messing with you,see if she will like it.
                        And if somebody hits you,you hit back,it doesn't metter if she is a girl or not. I would try to deflect her punch,that should be instict anyways,if somebody is trying to punch you,deflect it. If not,then hit her back. A mild slap in the face or something,dont hit her with your fist.
                        And if somebody is beeing rude verbally for no reason,and calling you names,you do the same thing. If she called your a faggot,you call her a bitch.
                        Because that what she is.
                        i wouldnt hit a girl unless shes trying to bash me on the street or something but like destruction_pancake said i might "lose it" and they might get hurt is what i'd tell them beforehand.
                        about calling her a bitch, i totally agree with that. the last person i called a bitch was my mum 3-4 years ago


                        This disrespect has gone on too long. Getting your balls back is going to be really hard, because this crap is normal behavior for those chicks now. I think it would be easier to just quit and start over elsewhere. Just make sure you don't start enabling bad behavior at your new job.
                        i reckon it will be hard aswell, i totally agree with you. i like my maccas and i do travel 1 hour via public transport to get there. and change would be good so i could startover but i have this mindset of:
                        work far away, so chicks dont no i work at maccas. (im not ashamed or anything but the whole working in my suburb would be awkward for me(thats what i think)
                        i was going to transfer to my local maccas aswell but there were some downsides aswell as the upsides including...: say i started 9am i woul..(i just started typing this then realized i was backing out...)
                        maybe leaving would be a good thing.. but the friends i have their..
                        (btw i barely no anyone in my area because its like the bush and the closest suburb is where the other maccas is.)
                        its not like i can go for a walk down the street.there is no street on a massive road with trees everywhere..)


                        Silence, there is a reason when you join these forums that you are asked to provide some details about yourself including a bio, your age and number of lays. It helps to tailor an answer which is appropriate for you.
                        im sorry i didnt read that.. i edited it now but didnt put a bio..
                        age: 18
                        lays: 0
                        bio: grew up moving schools every year or so... never met my dad and my mum and step dad were always fighting and getting violent. me and my older bro used to get beaten with a belt etc (crazy shit, but ive heard worse) my mum used to always keep us inside and give us a deadline on when we should be back home (when we were little/teens). ended up living with our mums friends house(druggies) after getting kicked out when out step dad left my mum.
                        moved to my grand parents house and soon after my mum came (after nearly being assaulted and told to get out of the druggies house) mum started doing online dating and ended up saving $4000 instead of getting our own house and went overseas (was ment to be a month but came back 1 year and 1 month later) to go meet a guy she was talking on the net with all night every night.
                        really hit us all (maybe not my older bro but defo my little bro) hard had to start cooking for ourselves grandparents took my little bro to school everyday, my bro was addicted to gaming 24/7 heck even i was destructive. since she left i used to take and drive her car around for a year(without even a learners permit) before we had to sell her car so she could come back.
                        i remember i googles how to pick up chicks and started getting into the community in 2008 before my mum went overseas and watched a shitload of seminars and started going out.
                        my mum went back over after being back here about 3-4 months (enough time to save up more money for her tickets. from centerlink of all places) she was pregnant when she came back (after losing a baby over there because she had no money and was LEEKING all my cash until i finally said no.
                        she left 3-4 months pregnant for 3 months(she said) its now been 5 months (on the 26th of this month)
                        maccas has really changed me from the "yes yes ill do anything dont even use manners and ill still do it to please you all!" to what i am today " wheres ur manners, i actually have real friends at work compares to back then. and dont suck up everyones arse. also learnt how to express myself (not 100% as this topic but better then before)
                        the store manager helped me overcome alot and was like a second mum to me.


                        What exactly were you doing with the pen that made the girls angry?
                        on the register i was using it to click things (no customer tho and not actual menu items. i was bored.)
                        Why didn't you apologise immediately when you bumped into that girl?
                        idk who said it but bumping into people is a good thing or something. so thats why i didnt (i ended up apologising after)
                        If you don't get on with these girls why are you leaving messages on their facebook?
                        your implying i talk to both on facebook. i only had CHICK1 on facebook (deleted as of a few days ago)
                        yes i understand it was stupid but at the time i didnt even remember what happened on the monday.

                        What is the significance of not swapping a shift with this 3rd girl and how is that connected to her boyfriend situation?
                        not connected to her boyfriend situation at all i thought i might just add that in.
                        the significance to me in that saying no is a good thing not a bad thing.
                        and on 2 seperate chicks they were nice as pie the next time i seen them after saying no.
                        back in the days i thought saying no was the worst thing you could ever posibly say to a chick.

                        Also, how would you describe yourself as a person and why do you think these girls don't like you?
                        describe myself as a person.. umm before this happened i would say: man this is really hard. ummm im a fun guy to be around. always cracking up jokes with my mates and teasing the chicks. always being told to run the floor and very dominating in a good way.
                        i actually reckon i would be a better manager then a few at my maccas atm.
                        thats all i can think of.
                        after this: no idea.

                        why the girls dont like me? because i dont suck up there arse like every other cunt at my maccas.


                        You said, "in my head i'm thinking hard next the bitch." Is this happening from girls you're hitting on? If it is, don't hit on girls at work for this very reason- YOU CAN'T GET RID OF THEM if it doesn't go well.
                        no i dont hit on chicks at work after reading you shouldnt and some semi situations at work.
                        i can say 100% ive never hit on either of these chicks or even chick #3

                        I don't know what this means, "it was line a full on bang head on only a slight bump."
                        whoops my bad lol its ment to say "its wasnt like a full on bang head on. only a slight bump on the shoulder"

                        Answer Solus's questions so we have more information about the whole situation.
                        answering every question.

                        Learn how to set some boundaries and have some self respect for yourself nobody should treat you that way bro ,I agree with some of the comments the problem you have comes from within you .Is also a lack on being social and isolating yourself from people since you where a little kid fucks up your confidence ...
                        i was reading and agreeing with this until...
                        I use to know a kid like that a while back the only thing they weren't that disrespectful towards him as they are with you but they always bossed him around especially lunch time they will give him a big list and tell him what to buy. I felt bad for the guy because when he was gone everybody will talk how dorky he was and how bad he wanted to fit in mostly girls felt bad for him ...
                        this part. does everyone think im some nerdy looking "gives everyone everything" kinda guy?
                        i only started doing everything for people at maccas (it is my first job.) i dont have the experience of having another job. (i did get a casual job at a petshop but quit because i wanted my weekends back)
                        but i stopped as soon as i started reading and watching more stuff on game and finding out about how the nice guy finishes last etc.

                        I think the issue here is "presence". Some guys just don't have it. Now, for example, I can't imagine a woman doing this to me. It's just not the way my universe works. And I think that women sense that on a deep, deep level. They know who they can get away with this shit with and who they can't.
                        SNIP
                        will do! thanks for the tip


                        I think you need to put on your most scary and intimidating voice and act ANGRY when she does something like that, then walk off. The point is to make it very clear you are pissed by her behavior. Anyone with any kind of sense would leave you alone or apologize after that. It sounds like she is taking your attempts to act "cool" as meaning its okay to continue to pester you and get in your face.
                        are you THE lovegirl blackdragon is always talking to on masf?
                        thanks for the female prospective! appriaciate it


                        THERE ANSWERED ALL YOUR QUESTIONS.
                        told you guys stuff i dont even tell mates.
                        fire away.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Listen, Silenced...

                          There's around 200 guys on this new forum now. I reckon the average age is about 25 or so. That actually makes about 5000 years of combined experience. I'm pretty sure all of these guys (and women) will tell you what I'm about to tell you. It's stuff we all learned one way or another, most of us the hard way:

                          Learn to depend on no one but yourself. This is the true wisdom of this community.

                          The incident with your co-workers made me angry, but now I see that its relatively insignificant, especially given everyone's age. Girls at that age are just stupid. So are most boys.

                          The story about your moms, though, broke my heart. It FUCKING SUCKS when the people who are supposed to care for you can't even take care of themselves. It FUCKING SUCKS beyond belief. It messes you up inside and its a monumental ordeal to sort that shit all out. My heart goes out to you little brother...

                          Now here's the rub: every problem that you will ever encounter with women and with your self-esteem for the rest of your life will hinge upon how you choose to deal with the mess you just explained. Did you notice how guys like insurgent, dpancake and SexualHero just zeroed right in on your shit? People pick up on your "presence," as JetSetJim was saying, even over the fucking internet. You think girls with their funky emotional antennae can't spot a fun target in person?

                          But you came to the right place--the best place I can think of on the net for young men with issues.

                          I want to tell you to try to ignore the shit that you had no control over.

                          I want to tell you to stick with your job, stick with this forum, stick with the people who bring value into your life.

                          I want to tell you to fight for clarity and integrity in your life above all.

                          I want to tell you from my heart... that all that shit with the girls and all that shit with your mom and her boyfriends and her own desperate dreams... all that shit was not your fault... just like Robin Williams in that fucking scene from Good Will Hunting...

                          But all my talking doesn't really amount to shit.

                          Cuz it's all on you, son. There's no Magic Bullets for finding peace with your past; no system for how to live your life. The best I can offer is for you to keep firing away with your thoughts or questions on the forum, while struggling to work things out for real. That's how we'll know you're getting it. Guys will be here to answer, explain or share. But you need to get urgent, excited and unshakable about cultivating real inner change.

                          If you're interested, I'll be happy to forward you some cool links, ebooks and meditation mp3s that helped me. Check out the thread right below about "Too nervous while talking to women." There's some good advice there and some awesome Youtube links by Solus. If that's not your kind of thing, no problem.

                          But seducing girls should be a distant last on your schedule of priorities (although an occasional BJ never killed anyone).

                          And the next time anyone disrespects you, remember you've got 5000 years of experience behind you.

                          ~Daigoro

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Hey Silenced,

                            Just wanted to say something here that's important:

                            Don't ever hit anyone at work.

                            In spite of what was said before, hitting people at work is a very bad idea. It's a firing offense, and whether or not you get fired, you could be unable to get references from your manager to move to a new job.

                            That's not to say that if you're assaulted by someone at your workplace you shouldn't fight back in self defense, but if someone pisses you off, or a girl gives you a girly-hit (there's a double standard, they get more leeway to hit coworkers) rather than hit them you should:
                            1. Take charge yourself first, tell them clearly what they're doing wrong & what they ned to do (this is where the Alpha vibe works)
                            2. If they won't listen or improve, and it affects your work or other people's work, then and only then do you go to your manager to discuss getting it resolved

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Daigoro Listen, Silenced...

                              There's around 200 guys on this new forum now. I reckon the average age is about 25 or so. That actually makes about 5000 years of combined experience. I'm pretty sure all of these guys (and women) will tell you what I'm about to tell you. It's stuff we all learned one way or another, most of us the hard way: SNIP
                              very good advice thanks alot!

                              and yes throughfare hitting a women at work would be a terrible thing for alot of things

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