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  • A woman's ability to cut ties

    Just went out with a girl for lunch and was talking about past relationships.

    And what I noticed is this pattern that I seem to be seeing with just about all women.

    They have this ability to mentally just NEXT on spot when they truly feel it.

    Before I got into seduction, the guy I listened to was Doc Love, who said that a woman's affection for you is like a rubber band, once you do enough of the wrong things, the rubber band is snapped and there is no putting it back together.

    Talking to this girl she said she was in a relationship for 4 years and then it was just over, time for her to move on and be done with it.

    I nexted a girl here at the time and it was pretty much communicated that I was done with her. When I didn't have the same feelings and wanted to entertain the thought of seeing her again, she was done. Even all the emotions she had before, her willingness to protest all the other girls I was seeing, her coming over to my house in the middle of the night, none of that mattered she was just done.

    I also dated a girl for 7 months, dumped her after she cheated and then she fought to get me back for two years. In that time I slept with her while she had a new boyfriend and she continued to pursue. Then, I even left the country and came back and she still entertained the idea. When I didn't respond and then a few months later when I pinged her, nothing. She was completely done.

    So, what I am seeing is this pattern that when a women is done, she is done.

    I'm not sure how this really goes, because what I see in life is that sometimes she comes back, but I think this to be more of a logical choice and not so much an emotional "I'm in choice." For example, she becomes 34 and the prospect of dating other men to find her suitor instead of getting back with that steady man she dated years ago seems daunting, but aside from this, it seems to me like a woman just has this ability to next and be completely done with it.

    I used to think it was just all the abundance that they experience, but now that I have similar abundance I'm not so sure. I can next on spot if I want to, but I don't think I have this ability as developed as women do. Maybe it is just in their nature to move on quickly to something that will benefit their survival better? Whereas a man doesn't need this type of focus to do well evolutionarily.

    Lovergirl maybe you have a perspective on this? Or what do you guys think, when a girl marks you as done, she is just done?
    -Supernova

  • #2
    I already explained this in the relationship section before you came here under break up dynamics here is edited http://www.theskillsmethod.com/break-dynamics/

    Anyways in addition to that also the ras which i also posted somewhere changes, and she start noticing all the wrong stuff that she did not notice or ignore before..

    They built enough resentment were there is all fucked and there is nothing you can do, once they are done they are done...

    Chase has a great article http://www.girlschase.com/content/ho...irlfriend-back it also break down a lot of this stuff...
    Sexting, my unique natural game, aggressive dance floor seductions, 15-20 minutes hook ups in clubs. Learn the proper way to maximize your results in a club type environment, check out my blog and youtube clubbing channel:

    www.dancefloorseduction.com









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    • #3
      Men are like dogs.

      Women are like cats.

      They come around when they want.

      Doc Love quote about if you do enough wrong things, it's like a rubber band, and it'll snap.

      Yes they will HARD next you if you do "wrong" things to their interpretation of what is attractive to them. If they HARD next you, it's time to move on.

      However, SOFT next happens all the time because girls are like cats. They wander around and have other priorities. Sometimes, they come around again in a month, a few months, a year, 2 years. Sometimes they come around if you message them again after a year and the interest was lukewarm. Something changed in their life and suddenly they want to meet new men again. Sometimes they message you or they are interested in you again because they are single again. Sometimes they were interested but got into a relationship and move on from you, at least for the moment.

      HARD next: you're done

      SOFT next: you're done, for now
      THREAD Illuminatus' male episodic memory versus female emotional memory is a great reminder about the premise that women love their feelings and if you associate yourself with these feelings you're in, at least in that particular moment.

      Comment


      • #4
        Duh, when its done its done
        I dont think its a bad thing
        But its intimidating

        Part of being cool with girls is being wary and suspicious in a funny way, bt half serious
        cuz girls do go atomic
        its not WRONG, I mean their reasoning is half decent in my estimation

        but its there to serve her, not you, lol
        so while you sit there saying "serve ME!"
        nonono shes going to serve herself :P

        Thats all it is,
        stopping the handouts she feels shes giving you


        Ha thats why Im gratefful to girls for their handouts
        haha...
        I know they get so picky



        But yeah, I estimate girls cut ties 5 times better than an equivalent man
        Like, if it takes him 5 months itll take her 1
        Girls have a ticking clock, so it makes sense

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by thecostofsuccess View Post
          But yeah, I estimate girls cut ties 5 times better than an equivalent man
          Like, if it takes him 5 months itll take her 1
          Girls have a ticking clock, so it makes sense
          Yeah this is the point of the post. I keep seeing this over and over again, the pattern is interesting to me.
          -Supernova

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Supernova View Post

            Yeah this is the point of the post. I keep seeing this over and over again, the pattern is interesting to me.
            You reaction to it seems a lil off though?
            Do you think it is?
            I mean like "ready" to do things with tthis new conclusion without thought, just prejudice?

            Be careful of that
            My point is that my attitude is undaunted
            Sorry if my inference is off but just being cautious
            Its easy to salavate over a new piece of knowlege before actually understanding it

            If we make progress, best it is in the best direction, no?
            Take precautions if any part of it bothers you, to take a look in better and better lights

            If you dont, doubt accumulates and can kick your ass...
            Or so, I believe

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            • #7
              Originally posted by thecostofsuccess View Post

              You reaction to it seems a lil off though?
              Do you think it is?
              I mean like "ready" to do things with tthis new conclusion without thought, just prejudice?

              Be careful of that
              My point is that my attitude is undaunted
              Sorry if my inference is off but just being cautious
              Its easy to salavate over a new piece of knowlege before actually understanding it

              If we make progress, best it is in the best direction, no?
              Take precautions if any part of it bothers you, to take a look in better and better lights

              If you dont, doubt accumulates and can kick your ass...
              Or so, I believe
              Yeah so my first response to it is one of admiration. It's impressive that they can cut ties so swiftly and effectively compared to men.
              Then, I look at myself and I ask myself why I don't have that ability to do so.
              And a part of me doesn't want to, but I don't know if that comes from scarcity or from some kind of inner problems, maybe?

              Then next I go to understand it even deeper.
              Like is it some kind of biology thing in nature that allows her to have the ability to do this?
              I think maybe this is the case because knowing about the evolutionary biology of a woman compared to a man, it would be much more in her interest to have this ability.

              Lastly, I look to knowing these signs more acutely.
              The signs of when she is done and when she is still open to things.

              And as I've seen in my experience, time and feelings sometimes have little to do with this I think.
              At least my impressions of this as it is now.

              The example before of an ex who was deeply in love with me and fought for 3 years, but then one day was just done.
              The example of a girl I'd been seeing for two weeks who would stop by at my house unannounced, who had an insatiable desire for me, but when I kicked her out of my house she was done.
              Even an open relationship that I had for a year that ended because of long-distance.

              I think it is a process that happens in a woman and something might trigger this biological button that says, "That's it."
              Just my thoughts on how it might work.
              -Supernova

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              • #8
                I've had a conversation with a woman friend the other day about how I'm like her mother in terms of not really showing it when I'm mildly annoyed usually and rather making fun of the situation - until something breaks and then there's either be a thunderstorm or the realization that I'll be gone for a long, long time and there's absolutely nothing one can do to bring/force me back on their terms, they'll have to wait out for me to return on my own or perhaps never.
                She and her father she said, on the other hand, always communicate how they feel much more directly, so although they seem to be fighting all the time they know where they are with each other all the time too, no hard feelings beyond what is visible in the moment.

                I've had this "breaking moment" with many women in my past before, but it wasn't always initiated by them (about once, really) and mostly by myself. In my case, I would be victim of my habit of thinking positively for too long a time, being forgiving before the other one even understood and acknowledged his errors, thus allowing him to remain unaware he had hurt me in the first place and setting myself up for being hurt again by someone who never wanted to but was never made aware of what he does by me. The "breaking point", at least for me, seems to be closely connected to my own survival, be it psychic survival or emotional one, and it usually happens when I stretch my strength in an extreme way to make life easier for someone else for too long a time. Which would fit your description of one "doing wrong too many times", although it's not necessarily you're doing things "wrong" objectively but rather doing something that stretches someone else's emotional/psychological self too thin in certain moments to go on living like that.

                When that happens, my perception of someone can completely flip, and instead of looking at everything in an absurdly positive light, I then focus much too hard on the shadows for a while. Which is probably a psychological necessity because it's easier to leave someone if you see him in a bad light, as unfair as it might be to the other one.

                I'm going through something similar right now with my gf, and if you reach that breaking point, you discover this immense unknown power inside of yourself that allows you to break free of anything and anyone no matter how much you think you loved that someone and no matter how much you thought you needed somebody to survive. You just break free anyway because that inner power source guides you. I'm going to try to steer that power source this time though, and see if I cannot use it to allow my gf a chance to adapt to what I've discovered was fucked up in our relationship for both of us to start with, which I never communicated and so didn't she. Knowing I can easily walk away for good now from her (having this inner power at my side to support me) I might be able to steer this ship somewhere different this time than to far-away havens, never to meet again. In a way I'm partly responsible for the mess we made because I never dared to communicate 100% clearly what I want and need from her, and regardless of us continuing together or not it's something I need to learn, the sooner the better.

                And as a last thought: I've discovered during the last few days that the main reason I never allowed myself to communicate (apart from utter stupidity) was the fact that I never really believed I as who I am am valuable enough to make any demands and enforce them. Without realizing it I always must have thought deep inside that I couldn't enforce any demand because if I tried to do that the ones I loved would surely leave me. Now going through all that shit I finally discovered how laughably wrong I was, and how freaking lucky my gf is to have met me in the first place anyway, so she better show me the respect I deserve or she'll be discarded as a gf. I know she loves me, and I know I love her (and probably always will), but this isn't about love in its essence (as my stepmother eloquently put it), but about in which outer form of connection we have this essence flow between us, and there I'll put down my foot and demand it to be a form that's much more sustainable than it is right now, or be gone for good.

                Jester
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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Supernova View Post

                  Yeah so my first response to it is one of admiration. It's impressive that they can cut ties so swiftly and effectively compared to men.
                  Then, I look at myself and I ask myself why I don't have that ability to do so.
                  Yup, they are just emotionally configured pretty damn well, takes us time and effort to get there, its incredible...
                  And a part of me doesn't want to, but I don't know if that comes from scarcity or from some kind of inner problems, maybe?
                  Yeah, I think every guy knows that "i don't want to" feeling, it isn'r easy for us, and we'll irrationally refuse it at times...
                  Its, such an intense feelling too...

                  Then next I go to understand it even deeper.
                  Like is it some kind of biology thing in nature that allows her to have the ability to do this?
                  Yeah like her hormonal flexibility due to cycles of her period etc
                  I think maybe this is the case because knowing about the evolutionary biology of a woman compared to a man, it would be much more in her interest to have this ability.
                  Yeah I think it is like, a man can run at an animal with a spear in a sprint, but a woman has to more quickly assess the situation, so she can go on the marathon of getting away, or coralling support

                  Lastly, I look to knowing these signs more acutely.
                  The signs of when she is done and when she is still open to things.
                  Yes, the build up hostility versus her sort of bridgging gaps and leaving you all kinds of benefit of the doubt and assumptions of equality and fair appraisal...
                  But guys often get weirdly deranged about girls who do that enough... so...
                  There is almost a societal pressure on women to not support you, and then, other guys doing sniper shots at her saying shes a slut, or stupid, or has no value except sexually...


                  I mean, I realised something about women the other day,
                  If we aren't in it to see their pleasure, and are screeching about "but sex though", we are NOT on the highground we think we are
                  90% of the time guys think they arre still on the high ground, I garuntee he is thinking about alleviating his own sexual stress not comprehending her truly bettering experience.

                  To CHECK you are out of that invisible ignorance zone, you gotta honestly ask if you can visualise and focus on her experience.
                  If your brain is like BUT NO, THE CHEMISTRY IS LIKE FIRE, OF COURSE SHE LOVES IT
                  You have the potential of being tricked and duped by our male slowness

                  And as I've seen in my experience, time and feelings sometimes have little to do with this I think.
                  At least my impressions of this as it is now.

                  The example before of an ex who was deeply in love with me and fought for 3 years, but then one day was just done.
                  Yeah, humility is important there, you can so easily take women for granted, I try to be cautious of it
                  The example of a girl I'd been seeing for two weeks who would stop by at my house unannounced, who had an insatiable desire for me, but when I kicked her out of my house she was done.
                  yeah in the media and in movies, the hero of the story pisses off the woman, then comes back later to appologise and confess his mistakes... this is such a lie
                  Doesnt matter if you come back to confess, its done son
                  Girls dont do that shit, it is ONE STRIKE and you are out
                  Thats the way it is
                  Even an open relationship that I had for a year that ended because of long-distance.

                  I think it is a process that happens in a woman and something might trigger this biological button that says, "That's it."
                  Just my thoughts on how it might work.
                  Well, they think ahead a lot faster than us, so their perception of the maturation of the relationship is faster
                  Girls have 3 shit tests
                  chaos (composure)
                  charm (brevity and grace)
                  compatibility (secret society)

                  the chaos tests leave this seed of doubt in guys that girls will never truly like them cuz girls create chaos rather than work on his side
                  the charm tests leave a guy questioning if he is charming enough or too cocky, testing how much he tries to compensate for the fact girls didnt work on his side initially
                  the compatiility tests leave the guy thinkinng he permeenantly qualified in order to test his bullshit radar and if he can apply it judicioulsy on the perception of the relationship.

                  When a womans view matures she sees a man being complacent
                  That he neever fully gets over her chaotic tests and still harbors rigid perceptions, that he gloats or congratulates himelf on is percieved level of charisma she agreed tto previously, and he floats along in the maximum zone she put him in whether deserving or not...
                  She looks at that and says, "what a chump, he hasnt matured"
                  Meaning, he didnt get past those qualifiers in his own mind and pursue, harmony, independence, and possibility with her on his own.
                  He just wanted an absence of negatives but never actted on his own towards the positive on his own initiative.

                  She however had initiative, towards harmony, independence, possibility,
                  But he didn't
                  So as her efforts mature and a guys doesnt...
                  It creates a gulf


                  In order to address this we have to fully gett past those snags and try to mature the harmony, independence and possibility of the relationship on our own.

                  But girls arent all knowing gods... they wont necessarily see you do this. So you must also be EXPRESSIVE
                  Or she will slowly assume the worst and judge you on your hesitations



                  I had an ex who was like "you had the perfect potential, in my dreams it was you meeting it, but... now ive moveed on, and i think thhis new guy meets the potential you didnt"
                  Thing was, her tests were the most intense BECAUSE she saw so much potential
                  So chaos was maxed out, like i was getting shot by a minigun
                  Her resistance to my charms was like barbed wire
                  Her compatibility tests were SO SUBTLE they may have included a desire for me to appear out of nowhere to protect her whenever she felt down

                  Each test making passing the next one worse until it was impossible for us to be compatible.
                  So she finds a doppleganger, helps him create harmony, helps the relationship be independent, helps the compatibility wrks and says "he has the potential you didnt meet"


                  I'm like, ok,
                  Im not mad...

                  I understand that this is indeed how it is.



                  Most guys would scream it is unfair
                  I disagree
                  I did fail her tests she put forward for me
                  It was her decision I suppose that they were of the nature they were
                  I tried my best
                  And wasn't good enough

                  Why?
                  Was it cuz she tested too hard?
                  Maybe...
                  She did test hard then help hard on the other side

                  But, you gotta understand WHY that happened
                  It was because she wanted to discover if she could COPE with me
                  She decided she couldn't COPE
                  That the relationship would end up short of the quota she wanted to meet in her life


                  I think she was right cuz, she and I both fiercely liked one side of each other but distrusted the other side
                  leaving us in a limbo of indecision, that would have continued to haunt the relationship (and in a way, still does)
                  and thats why she moved on

                  It wasn't stupid, or crazy, or her testing too hard and going soft on others
                  It was her assessing limits and trying to live within them

                  In a way, most breakups are a microcosm of that
                  While they mightnt seem fair, they are relative to a limit the girl senses due to your reaction to her tests and the maturation of harmony, independent initiative, and possibility in the relationship




                  They are indeed remarkeable
                  Not perfect of course, no one ever is...
                  And yeah it can fuck us pretty hard...

                  I think factually though, from the most objective standpoint I can reach
                  Women, are truly dealing with a lot of shit

                  Most mens asks, truly OVERTASK them
                  And so therefore they cut you off, knowing they are DOING A LOT already, so dont feel guilty just because OUR perspective is narrrower than theirs

                  Took me a fucking lng time to get why my ex did the doppleganger double sttandards thing
                  But Im happier with a true objective look at it, than beingg a "slow male" about it :P

                  Fuck does it ever take work for us...

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                  • #10
                    Yeah they're great at cutting ties. This is why breaking up is no big deal. Its GUYS that lose their shit, girls quickly recover and are onto the next thing (which crushes oneitis-prone guys even more.) Guys think they're going to crush a girl's life with a breakup, that she'll pine over him and want to kill herself lol. Nope, she's good to go after a very short time.

                    If you can be the same way as a guy (which yes, mostly comes down to genuine abundance, not "abundance mentality" fake-it/mimic-it/try-to-inner-game-it BS but ACTUAL abundance like a hot chick), you can move through different longer term relationships and relationship setups with ease and without needing to heed all the self-protective warnings you hear from the burned-man massive. Just go with what feels good like a chick. . which means breaking up and not giving a shit when things cross a certain pro/con line. She's fine, and she'll do the same to you without giving two shits in a heartbeat. No big deal. . its a good thing, its freeing.

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                    • #11
                      I have noticed this too, and it was partly the inspiration to my thread "Do girls truly love a man?"

                      Originally posted by Galaxy View Post
                      Doc Love quote about if you do enough wrong things, it's like a rubber band, and it'll snap.
                      Or to quote Sia:
                      "I'm like a rubber until you pull too hard
                      Yeah I may snap and I move fast
                      But you won't see me fall apart"
                      (Elastic Heart)

                      Edit:
                      I think pureevil is right, perhaps this is because our brains are wired differently? Or perhaps it is because girls typically experience abundance from a younger age? Or maybe a mix of the two.

                      Edit 2:
                      "Girls are like cats, men like dogs".

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                      • #12
                        Women have a breaking point. Maybe men too but definitely women, where itís like no more, never again. I am definitely there with a few exes that I can think of. Itís like that R Kelly song:

                         
                        Check out my blog!
                        http://lifeofalovergirl.wordpress.com/

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Stargazer View Post
                          Edit:
                          I think pureevil is right, perhaps this is because our brains are wired differently? Or perhaps it is because girls typically experience abundance from a younger age? Or maybe a mix of the two.
                          Yep this was kind of why this post was inspired:

                          1. Is it there brains are wired differently?

                          Well I imagine it as if they were in a 30-40 person tribe and they don't have this ability to move on quickly. What happens if they pine over one dude and he is a fucking asshole and proves he won't protect her when the baby comes, he proves through his actions and lack of manning up that he can't take care of the tribe?

                          Well this is some pretty bad wiring that would have to be weeded out of existence kinda quick through natural selection. Life would be much more favorable in this this respect if she can observe and identify that she can't align with him and then move on as quickly as possible.

                          Now for a man it is completely different and doesn't even matter. For this reason I think we are wired differently. It had very little reproductive consequences if we kept going back to one girl in the tribe. As long as we were banging girls and passing on our genes it didn't matter. We didn't need for her to stick around or be dependable in any way, so we might as well just keep coming back for more sex as this wouldn't be a detriment to our survival and reproduction strategy and in fact more seeds would just be spread in this way. It wouldn't have gone up or down with natural selection.

                          2. Girls get abundance from a younger age

                          I think this plays a part in it as well, but maybe not as much as the biological wiring that my thesis presupposes here.

                          I know it helped me a great deal with many of these girls, but ultimately I still missed all of them and there are many points where I would have reconciled and they wouldn't have even considered it.

                          -------------------------------------------------

                          What is interesting in all of this is how the girl that inspired all of this, I thought she was completely done, but she in fact came back and I smashed her. I texted her since to bang and she was down, but I flaked. So really what happened was my observance of her being done, but it hadn't quite happened yet. It would probably more useful to have more sensory acuity awareness in this respect, but it's not there yet. The relationship has also changed where she stopped trying to be my gf and now is okay with just smashing, at least so far, which has also been a plus.
                          -Supernova

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                          • #14
                            yes there is a biological component to it the rev. explains it in the break up video, were the man is biological it wire to take care of the girl and the offspring in caveman times or some shit like that:

                            Sexting, my unique natural game, aggressive dance floor seductions, 15-20 minutes hook ups in clubs. Learn the proper way to maximize your results in a club type environment, check out my blog and youtube clubbing channel:

                            www.dancefloorseduction.com









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