Ad

Collapse

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

So I've read "The Rational Male" as Skills360 suggested. Now I'm confused :/

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    Keep in mind, Sparxx asked to have his account deleted. I was simply trying to get him to knock it off and allow Skills and Jeter to have their conversation, without it being derailed.

    After all the bitching your crowd has done about people derailing threads, I would have thought you'd set an example by not doing it yourselves.

    Please, feel free to write BD, requesting that one of your posse replace me.
    The older the violin, the sweeter the music. Augustus McCrae

    Comment


    • #17
      Originally posted by Silvertree View Post
      Keep in mind, Sparxx asked to have his account deleted. I was simply trying to get him to knock it off and allow Skills and Jeter to have their conversation, without it being derailed.
      After all the bitching your crowd has done about people derailing threads, I would have thought you'd set an example by not doing it yourselves.
      I actually do not disagree here. This was a derailing attempt. But this could have been moderated with a warning such as "no derailing - please open a new thread". Instead you tackled this in a whole different way. Also we just found you guy's selection on who you want to moderate first slightly interesting.

      But I must admit that it must hard for someone like you who do not practice pick up actively (and you have not hidden that fact - so I do not give you shit for that itself) to know what is KJ and what is not. It surely creates difficulties, which relates to my point above

      Please, feel free to write BD, requesting that one of your posse replace me.
      No we are good as long as we open for deliberation and debate regarding the way the site is managed.

      -Teevster
      Teevster (TVA_Oslo) AKA. Alek Rolstad

      Projects 2018:
      - Still Rocking
      - Flipping Lesbians (have sex with lesbians)
      - 10 year in PU anniversary!

      Comment


      • #18
        Here is my definition of a KJ, from the new set of rules I am writing.

        Keyboard Jockeys, meaning those who are posting advice about things they have not done themselves, enough times, with enough success, for their advice to be worth anything, are not allowed.
        Please help me here; what part of KJ do I not understand.
        The older the violin, the sweeter the music. Augustus McCrae

        Comment


        • #19
          Originally posted by Teevster View Post

          You got the nerves to ask sparxx privately for advice on TRE and now you talk trash behind his back when you know he won't respond. How noble. And kijjji is a bigger problem than sparxx.

          -Teev
          Teev, thatís a fair point.

          Full disclosure - I DID ask Sparx about TRE, hoping he would start a thread, but he seemed to want to communicate via PM, so I went with it.

          Wasnít trying to hide anything or go behind anyoneís back or leech some value from him, but I can totally understand how it might look that way.

          And to his credit, he answered all my questions promptly and civilly.

          I had meant to mention this in my post, but unfornutely I was feeling more angry than grateful in the heat of the moment, and pressed send a little too soon.

          So yeah, cowardly and ungrateful and backstabbing - guilty as charged.

          I assume you are still in touch - please pass on my apology, and thanks.

          Iíll probably have more to say in a bit, but hope this will suffice for now.
          You go to war with the women you have, not the ones you wish to have.
          -Ronald Dumsfeld

          Comment


          • #20
            Originally posted by No More Mr Nice Guy View Post

            Teev, thatís a fair point.

            Full disclosure - I DID ask Sparx about TRE, hoping he would start a thread, but he seemed to want to communicate via PM, so I went with it.

            Wasnít trying to hide anything or go behind anyoneís back or leech some value from him, but I can totally understand how it might look that way.

            And to his credit, he answered all my questions promptly and civilly.

            I had meant to mention this in my post, but unfornutely I was feeling more angry than grateful in the heat of the moment, and pressed send a little too soon.

            So yeah, cowardly and ungrateful and backstabbing - guilty as charged.

            I assume you are still in touch - please pass on my apology, and thanks.

            Iíll probably have more to say in a bit, but hope this will suffice for now.
            Yes I am in touch with him. He accepts your apology and wishes you all the best with TRE.

            -Teevster
            Teevster (TVA_Oslo) AKA. Alek Rolstad

            Projects 2018:
            - Still Rocking
            - Flipping Lesbians (have sex with lesbians)
            - 10 year in PU anniversary!

            Comment


            • #21
              You guys are funny. Seriously :P

              Originally posted by Skills360 View Post
              yeah i found the lay count stuff a bit kj....

              Jester most of the guys fear rejection and have ego investment, so they rationalize not going for the interaction, this does not sound like you in the above example... But what happens to me is that sometimes you will make a guestimate of the women based on past experience and do a projection of you and her together and make a technical/fundamental analysis/risk/reward prediction on it (just like buffet before purchasing a stock) and what would happen is that your forecast sometimes make you pass.... (this is theory by the way, and yes has happened to me couple of times).... Just make sure is not cause you are worry of rejection...

              This is maybe wrongly what reminded me of you:
              I've been thinking a lot about this the last few days, and I think I'm bodily aware of what cosy calls "sexual tension". The interesting thing is though that with certain women, this tension isn't really an obstacle, while with others it is, and this is what's kind of confusing for me. I'm pretty sure there was some sexual tension with this specific woman, but something was still preventing me from going further.

              In the past I've been with some women whom I felt this confusing something with and had the chance to check what this something could have been caused by. In one case, for example, the woman in question had had this illness that can be sexually transmitted but will heal in a few months. It was obvious we were highly attracted to each other, but the timing wasn't (yet) right. I sometimes feel stupid for not acting on that attraction when it's so obviously there, but at the same time every time there was that something so far there had been quite a good reason for it which I only later found out.

              So far I've found that listening to that "inner guide" has never resulted in the woman in question respecting me less for not acting (yet), so in a way I've developed this calmness of sensing the attraction but not necessarily having to act on it yet, which creates this sort of assumed connection that's very relaxed. It's not exactly easy to trust it though because at times it seems highly illogical, plus I've found its "advice" can be tainted by inner fears and stuff, so there has to be a balance between trusting it fully and "cleansing the tools" every now and then.

              I have to admit that I've grown up in a family where my father would basically succumb to the wishes of everyone else around him all the time and was too weak to stand up for himself and say No every once in a while, so I've developed similar traits when growing up, especially towards women. It's getting much better those last few years though, mostly because I've finally realized how most of the people I've been used to idolize are pretty much lost in dealing with the world around them. I'm kinda realizing my own value finally.


              I'm really curious about how you guys seem to agree my writing style is hard to understand, and how you assume me talking to women (or people in general) would be a pain in the ass for them. I realize English isn't my native language (which is German), but I've had a lot of people congratulate me on my writing skills repeatedly, so this is kind of a surprise to me. Admittedly most of my writing is done in German so perhaps that's the issue, but still...

              Similarily, many people I know in person love talking to me because for many I'm the one they can best talk about "deep stuff", and many times I've had random people I didn't know before come up to me and instantly tell me stuff they wouldn't tell their best friends. Part of that seems to be caused by my hyper-sensivity to emotions so a lot doesn't have to be verbally expressed and yet is communicated, but still it's interesting to me how your perception of both my writing and my assumed communication style seems to be very different from what people that know me personally experience. I wonder why that is?

              Jester

              Comment


              • #22
                Originally posted by Jester View Post



                I've been thinking a lot about this the last few days, and I think I'm bodily aware of what cosy calls "sexual tension". The interesting thing is though that with certain women, this tension isn't really an obstacle, while with others it is, and this is what's kind of confusing for me. I'm pretty sure there was some sexual tension with this specific woman, but something was still preventing me from going further.
                do you remember what pe told you:

                Originally posted by pureevil View Post
                That's ultimately a PU crutch though man. Which I acknowledge and respect, and try to challenge myself and others to take on harder conquests and go after girls of choice where the mirror neurons may not be automatically firing off and she isn't giving you the "please come talk to me" vibe from afar. Once you do this a few times with success, you'll realize that these sorts of mirrored and connected vibes can develop quite strongly with girls who may have been very cold to begin with. And thus start seeing this mentailty of "i seek that connected feeling before i try to game" as something of a limiting belief that is overridden with experience, a crutch that's limiting the life experience. You'll of course make the most of these pre-connected mirror neuron AI-heavy experiences when they're there (cause yes, they're "super" lol, who doesn't like to game girls who are already way into you), but you won't be LIMITED to them, you'll expand to be able to generate interest and mirror neuron experiences with a wider range of girls.

                Keep gaming my man, keep racking up those experiences. The more experience you rack up, the less you live in a world of woowoo and mysterious supposedly un-replicatable un-explainable experiences, and the more you're able to actually call things what they are, as the behavior patterns you're tapping into become more clear and thus definable for you
                back to you:

                In the past I've been with some women whom I felt this confusing something with and had the chance to check what this something could have been caused by. In one case, for example, the woman in question had had this illness that can be sexually transmitted but will heal in a few months. It was obvious we were highly attracted to each other, but the timing wasn't (yet) right. I sometimes feel stupid for not acting on that attraction when it's so obviously there, but at the same time every time there was that something so far there had been quite a good reason for it which I only later found out.

                Obioulsly things cool off, after you delaying the seduction due to the illness and you or your/hers buying temperature cool off...

                So far I've found that listening to that "inner guide" has never resulted in the woman in question respecting me less for not acting (yet), so in a way I've developed this calmness of sensing the attraction but not necessarily having to act on it yet, which creates this sort of assumed connection that's very relaxed. It's not exactly easy to trust it though because at times it seems highly illogical, plus I've found its "advice" can be tainted by inner fears and stuff, so there has to be a balance between trusting it fully and "cleansing the tools" every now and then.
                again pe explained the biology and the why is happening.

                I have to admit that I've grown up in a family where my father would basically succumb to the wishes of everyone else around him all the time and was too weak to stand up for himself and say No every once in a while, so I've developed similar traits when growing up, especially towards women. It's getting much better those last few years though, mostly because I've finally realized how most of the people I've been used to idolize are pretty much lost in dealing with the world around them. I'm kinda realizing my own value finally.
                which is why i thought that book may be good for you... ( i don't agree with the whole book, but i thought it would be the most helpful based on your posts)

                I'm really curious about how you guys seem to agree my writing style is hard to understand, and how you assume me talking to women (or people in general) would be a pain in the ass for them. I realize English isn't my native language (which is German), but I've had a lot of people congratulate me on my writing skills repeatedly, so this is kind of a surprise to me. Admittedly most of my writing is done in German so perhaps that's the issue, but still...
                Most posters english is second language just lol, my writting is the worst, grammar/spelling etc... But is not dull, yours is very well written like a professional professor, which is what sparxxx was trying to tell you that you write in way tailor to the wrong audience. With that being said you gotten a looooooooooooot better, there are some people that have your similar tendency one SOMETIMES is cosy(who also got a loooooooooot better, plus no matter what you need to read it cause is usually too much gold which makes you have to read it) another one was nwp (he has not gotten better, he post in bd blog under jack outside the box, still rambling)


                Similarily, many people I know in person love talking to me because for many I'm the one they can best talk about "deep stuff", and many times I've had random people I didn't know before come up to me and instantly tell me stuff they wouldn't tell their best friends. Part of that seems to be caused by my hyper-sensivity to emotions so a lot doesn't have to be verbally expressed and yet is communicated, but still it's interesting to me how your perception of both my writing and my assumed communication style seems to be very different from what people that know me personally experience. I wonder why that is?


                I believe you there is a kind/warmness to you, omeganesss.... But the problem is that if you talk like a professorial teacher talking to hard to comprehend students subcommunication based on your writing is bad for seduction which is the point sparxxx was trying to make cause is boring, vanilla icecream, profesorial, uninspiring... again you have gotten a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot better than before...




                Comment


                • #23
                  Originally posted by Skills360 View Post

                  do you remember what pe told you:
                  ...
                  I've noticed something similar that someone else in this community told me a while back too but it took some time to dig down to the deep issue. I'm an empath in nature, which means I sense other people's emotions as if they were my own. Which is a good thing once you learn how to use this gift. But it also enables you to use it to hide trauma from yourself, which I have done for years now, (subconsciously) seeking out people who'll "need me" in order to not have to face my own trauma.

                  Part of this bad habit is that I've gotten used to not expect other people to be responsible and deal with their own emotions. It's a coping habit of having to feel other people's emotion as your own being an empath, because by "helping them" resolve their emotional turmoil quickly I will restore my own peace of mind. I've since learned to become better at discerning between my own emotions and those of others (I still feel those), and cut several of the really bad cases of emotional turmoil from my life or keep them at a distance now.

                  One consequence of the whole thing was/is that I feel responsible for the well-being of anyone I interact with/hook up with, which in moderation is a good thing. I still struggle with the idea of hooking up with someone just for the short-term pleasure if I know it might cause her pain in the long run, even if that is obviously not only my decision and she as an adult should be able to deal with that pain.

                  Decided to practice giving myself more leeway there to assume people who hook up with me are able to deal with the possible consequences. Might sound stupid to you guys, but this really is difficult for me.

                  Originally posted by Skills360 View Post
                  Obioulsly things cool off, after you delaying the seduction due to the illness and you or your/hers buying temperature cool off...
                  I love to challenge statements starting with "obviously" because usually those are the ones people never cared to question before (since they are assumed to be "obvious").

                  In my experience, this isn't necessarily the full picture. Rather, the tension seems to naturally occur in cycles if you all it to go full circle. If you expect it to be linear (high probability becoming lower so you need to be quick enough) that's what you'll experience. If however you allow it to "die" (go down fully) it can rebirth anew. Admittedly my experience with this is limited to a few women/occasions, but I think there's a pattern there.

                  Originally posted by Skills360 View Post
                  which is why i thought that book may be good for you... ( i don't agree with the whole book, but i thought it would be the most helpful based on your posts)
                  And again thank you, I only now begin to see the after-effects of reading it. Probably one of the most profound ones is that I see how little certain women I've idolized before have actually contributed to my life. Like, I've re-read some of the short stories I've written during these times, and I've realized how much I was projecting onto those women. Like, my love and belief in them was probably much more valuable than what they actually contributed themselves. This was a very powerful realization, because it made me realize my own value that I had pretty much overlooked before.

                  Originally posted by Skills360 View Post
                  Most posters english is second language just lol, my writting is the worst, grammar/spelling etc... But is not dull, yours is very well written like a professional professor, which is what sparxxx was trying to tell you that you write in way tailor to the wrong audience. With that being said you gotten a looooooooooooot better, there are some people that have your similar tendency one SOMETIMES is cosy(who also got a loooooooooot better, plus no matter what you need to read it cause is usually too much gold which makes you have to read it) another one was nwp (he has not gotten better, he post in bd blog under jack outside the box, still rambling)

                  I believe you there is a kind/warmness to you, omeganesss.... But the problem is that if you talk like a professorial teacher talking to hard to comprehend students subcommunication based on your writing is bad for seduction which is the point sparxxx was trying to make cause is boring, vanilla icecream, profesorial, uninspiring... again you have gotten a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot better than before...
                  To be honest I didn't get it the way sparxx put it, but now put this way it makes a lot more sense ("talk like a professorial teacher"). My stepmother put it another way the other day, she said my writing has now reached a point where she has at times troubles following it. Problem is, I read like 2-3 books a week usually and I really love to think, talk and write about deep stuff, so sometimes I dive in so deep into a topic or connect the dots in such radically different ways than most people are used to that others have troubles following.

                  It's really weird because obviously you yourself don't notice it that much while you do it, but these last few months I've realized that in certain areas (mostly education-related) I might have the potential to become to these fields what someone like Einstein was to physics. I always thought the way I see things are so logical and everyone could easily have thought of the same stuff, but lately I've realized that in certain areas, I'm like years ahead of many others (actually I've been told that before but so far I've refused to believe it).

                  The difficulty then becomes striving on ahead while not losingn touch with current reality, which includes finding a way to communicate which doesn't annoy people like I sometimes seem to do. Plus getting rid of certain illusions like the one stated above about other people not being able to cope with the consequences of their own decisions which may severely cloud my judgement at times.

                  Jester

                  P.S.: Thank you for this conversation so far, this is really helpful for me

                  Comment

                  Working...
                  X