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How I set up the frame of an approach

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  • How I set up the frame of an approach

    Ok, so this is about improving your awareness and then layering a few frames

    First off I screen the girls in my environment
    Over time my screening process became TOO ACCURATE and I started declining girls from a simple look at them, or wanting to go over and try something with them from a simple look
    This is bad and I'll tell you why
    It mirrors the same behaviour as a guy who doesn't screen at all,
    He is certain every girl is enough, and that some via their looks are not enough

    Girls in general find this kind of attitude unflattering
    It is a harsh decision making process based on how they did themselves up that day or whatever and it can get on their nerves
    What girls like to FEEL from you, was there was some other process going on when you screened and made up your mind interest wise
    When it comes in a clear binary form, of some girls going into a yes basket and others into a no basket, they rebel against it
    They won't always rebel, but they will hold greater suspicion of you

    So the first stage of opening for me is to have a FLAWED first screening method, but one that almost tells you something about her that might be interesting
    "I am usually good with people, but with you I can't quite tell... perhaps you have an amazing potential, damn it I cant not say hi now" (not verbalised)

    Now this first stage by itself as a frame is too intense for most women, like, you are coming over with all your hopes and ideas ready to drop onto them
    This creates anxiety in their chest, and inability to keep impressing you, or a burden of feeling put on a pedestal. Thing is, when you screen well the girls you approach naturally will be on a bit of a pedestal, so it needs to get reframed.
    Ok, so the second frame I find helpful is about building space, and time, or a protected area or sanctuary where no judgements will be made. This serves as a phase of "tuning" in your observations and allowing natural or more organic observations about her to come up that are less based on logic. To do this properly she needs to be given a chance to display or express herself "in action" without restraint or too much thought. You want her to act naturally and reveal another side to herself so you can feel her out better.
    Problem with my screening was I could predict this phase, so if you can predict this phase, don't. Just let yourself ease back and not scrutinise, let yourself FEEL this side of her, let yourself adjust to it emotionally, not with rigid "knowing" or logic.
    The fear girls have in this phase is that guys lock her into some pattern of behaviours and then react to her 100% of the time based on that initial pattern. If he saw her as a certain kind of chick he'll never treat her different. So my frame her is "I want to change how I see you, I want to broaden how I can see you, and react... maybe"

    And then with the third frame, I come to a spontaneous declaration about her, by thinking and accessing my intuition
    I look at her to double check,
    I make a cold read or two, maybe ask her questions to check, joke with her again to test how her personality gels with me again
    And then, I turn a bit mysterious
    But start to offer that "we exchange numbers as two power people"

    So when I approach, I don't know from the first outset if I will do anything, though I know she has a certain potential, but I want to see first hand how we gel emotionally, and how we tune into each other
    I then want to help our views change about each other and expand. Hopefully she feels a sense of revelation of knowing me a bit better. Then I go back to a bit of teasing and double checking how we gel as I offer us both the chance as to power players to say hi again some other time.

    To me, a successful approach is about these three things
    The imperfection of the screen
    The natural adjustment
    The double checking and then an offer of equality from a position of awesomeness

    I'm actually trying to improve this right now, as I am a bit impatient with it and get a bit rushed and want to skip it all cuz I find it boring, humiliating, and stupid to go through the process, but...
    It actually does have a purpose, and I know about myself that if given free reign I'd rush past a lot of important stuff, so... I'm spending some time fixing it.

    My worst parts are near the natural adjustment phase, I just don't WANT to adjust with a person I don't know, with my real emotions, I'd prefer be a bit of a fake emotionally with a stranger cuz I really do not know the content of their character, and maybe they are assonine or in a shitty mood, and if I open up my emotions I could get really affected and my whole day ruined.
    But this is kind of the point...
    Women... naturally, open up more than us guys and it tends to make them feel crazy superior, in a way I can barely describe.... I cant describe how it makes me feel to see that in them, to know it about them, and to not fully agree with them...
    I just as a result can't fully trust them, and assume they will be superficial and painfully obtuse. Which is their more obvious fear about us in a way.
    So I don't exactly want to give them so much of a chance to disappoint me.

    So yeah, when disappointment is real, I know at times I will get deflated... and I know most girls won't be able to handle a guy really looking at them with a truly deflated reaction.
    So,,, I get a bit... on edge about the whole thing and just want to call it off.

    But this is actually why I know my above three frame process is correct.
    It puts me on equal emotional footing as a woman, and gives me the opportunity to potentially connect... or to not...

    I think a more useful way to do all this is to kind of just fake that you are awesome n wanna figure em out, and excite them enough that they wanna believe you have substance to you....
    Buuuuuuuuuuuuut, that also has drawbacks in that later in the seduction you might feel like the girl herself has no substance, and you will be stuck feeling like shes just a piece of meat and so are you, and get annoyed at hypocrasy and shit.

    Anyways, my point is there is a three stage frame

    I prefer the above depth to it all but most guys here wont
    So my advice to them is to just set up three frames as a skeleton of your approaches, you can and should adjust these to your needs
    There is the screening/pre-approach​ frame that you will arrive to her with to help break open her guards
    Then the frame MUST shift as you first start interacting and become more "open" and "responsive" in order to draw out more sides of her so she feels natural and real with you (build out the rapport)
    Then the frame must shift BACK into a frame of authority, in order to get her to be REACTIVE, and this allows you to sell her on the insta-date, next 20 mins of convo, or the number exchange​​​​​
    (cuz she must be in a reactive state of mind, and hopefully a positive one before you can spring choices on her and have her bounce them back without hestitation and confusion)

    This all occurs in less than 3 minutes, the first two frames are in the first 30 seconds, and she'll make a lot of judgements on you in those first thirty seconds either allowing a 3 min exchange or not by how well you perform those two
    But then as three mins pass by you should launch the third frame in order to properly punctuate the approach, and then authorize getting to know each other

    If you do it right she wont even necessarily be the one making the choice, she'll just agree with you and follow your lead
    But yeah these are the inner "bones" of the approach, that you work everything else onto

    Somewhere in there you have to undo all her fears and anxieties and quirks of chaos n such so she doesnt blow it all up with some dumbass reaction... but yeah...
    Somehow you do that in like 30 seconds just to get to 3 minutes of cool convo
    JUST to get something as small as a nod from her as you get her number or roll into the next 20 mins with her where you unravel her real anxieties n such

    As you can maybe tell Im not greatly motivated by all this atm, ha, motivation with it comes and goes cuz it is complex, and at times you are like "yo i dont know you and you expect all this, geez"
    Its a steep ask at times...
    But thats why us guys at times sit on our rock and ponder the philosophy of life
    It is our challenge and our strength to find a way to do it
    To care about it even when at first it seems insignificant and skippable

  • #2
    Hear, hear!!
    I got pretty much squadush from 'perfecting my advance'. I actually had to stop with 'advance', and go for something more deliberately nonchalant and haphazard, just to tap into more of that goodness you talk about!

    So I actually never do the 'advance with splendor' thing anymore, and instead kinda zone in quickly on 'girl coordinates', while looking everywhere for that imaginary lose rock I can step on to lose my footing spectacularly at the worst thinkable moment. Its as if girls really enjoy the drama of a salutation failing before it even started. It can be a bit 'drunken master 2' tbh, but still works! I guess it helps that my sense of humor is wired like that too.