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Bizarre Common Theme: Happy = Everyone Hates Me

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  • Bizarre Common Theme: Happy = Everyone Hates Me

    guys this has been a common thread my whole life and I just wish someone could explain it. Since pua is all about state and vibe I was hoping you guys could help me understand. Especially when guys like RSD talk about being in high energy states yet for me Iíve always had the most negative reactions from people when Iím feeling really good, pumped, or happy.

  • #2
    Happy = everyone hates you
    is like holding a rope
    if you let go of a rope, you feel relief at not holding the rope anymore
    but to everyone around you, you just let go of the one thing connecting you to your responsibilities

    now imo... you are an extremely literal person, to an extent that creative processes necessary for some of the skill to develop are out of reach for you
    so for example, if you were to draw, you would take a very literal approach, rather than be able to just create the essense or spirit of something with a few lines
    because you cant leap in logic... it leaves you in a stalemate... if you hold onto the rope people are displeased cuz you cant make that leap in creative logic to "get" the part of the skill you need
    if you let go of the rope, it means you no longer even care about that piece of skill... you might be relieved that your stalemate feels over, but to the observer they see that it isnt over, and you are just self deluding yourself and opening the door for potential disaster. Disaster being, you are not holding the rope, and something gets you confused and lost, and now you cant find the rope anymore, and you just ask and ask everyone for help, but you cant help yourself so are just drifting.

    I dont exactly know why people hate on it, but they dont hate only on you with it. It is just that you are more literal that you cant jump through hoops very well to get the final part of skill.
    My guess is, the reason for this is your emotions are very very very clogged, like a thick shitty substance that doesnt flow well. So you lack as much ability to emotionally process through thoughts, and emotional choices are harder for you to succeed at so you tend to avoid them. Thusly you cant make the leaps... then people hate on you, and its a shitty cycle.

    Id say though that it all begins with your willingness to conceed, versus your entitlement.
    If a person destroys your entitlement they are left with your concession... but your concession is NOT CREATIVE IN THE SLIGHTEST
    So it changes your situation little...
    Your entitlement however is even worse... if your concession is destroyed, you gain complete apathy and nihilism, to the point of losing your humanity and just being dreadful and unempathetic.

    You have a good spark in you, this is why people try to help. But, that spark... is surrounded in ominous dark shit that is really heavy to move.
    My guess is, no one understands it properly... and neither do you have any idea on what it is. But I would suggest that instead of going "woe is me" about it, to recognise we all have this to some extent.
    So for example, some people are incapable of standing their ground as you are... they are very fragile and must blow with the wond. My guess is, its so tough to change because you are overpowered, and it is a trade off or sacrifice for being a rock.

    Id say either embrace it as a strength, but know its weakness. OR...
    Be less stubborn, learn to be more fragile...
    And face the harshness of the world in that place, and then probably the emotions will start to move and youll be able to get the jump in skill you need from creativity.

    People dont hate you, they REACT to obvious threats in a persons personality
    When you are a kid you grow up thinking "me, a threat? no way?"
    But that is ALL most parents ever focus on... to the point it engrains in you a sense of trying to be percieved in that vain to make sense of the world.
    Other people are also raised this way, albeit a little differently, and these sort of cross with eachother in a clash of what is threatening and what isnt.

    Its very complicated shit...

    My opinion on whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
    Is because, you arent capable of connecting to creative energies in your body yet.
    If I were you, I'd try to awaken them, and be very wary of my nasty side as I did... cuz chances are
    Once you discover another side of you has been locked off, you'll get angry at the fact it was always locked off, and that no one told you... almost like it was a conspiracy against you from the start.
    Dont go down that route, cuz it leads to crazy town...

    Accept that... we all have our crosses to bear, and this is yours.

    I had to go through something similar in a way.
    I had a really big blindspot that took me a decade to get past...
    It was unreasonable to me personally, and I wanted to blame others for it.
    Until... little by little, I didnt blame anyone anymore and could take the responsibility of myself onto my own shoulders.
    After that, it becomes easy to hold the rope, and you get no relief from dropping it, cuz you are too "woke" to get deluded by little wins and reliefs

    Its life...
    Its imperfect... and a lot of work is required to better ourself...
    Might suck, but we are all on that journey
    And it is different for each of us... every positive has a drawback...

    Anyways, its not people hating you... its your own mind struggling to comprehend the leap in logic you need to take.
    People tell you just to hold back onto the rope, cuz they dont want you getting lost n spazzing out
    and you being in dissonance see it as a form of hate against you

    it isnt really but it can turn into it via your own projection, putting burdens on them, talking back in shitty ways etc, you then trigger it secondarily

    to explain it in a simpler way...
    imagine life is a video game
    and your character is min maxed
    your constitution is really high
    but your perception is really low

    you then rely on being resilient to absorb the blows of life
    so you refuse to remove skills in constitution cuz its what youve always relied on
    so changing to a perception based build seems stupid and insane to you

    but in this game, the build you have changes what you can see...
    so a perception based build can literally see shit you cant see when speccing into constitution

    Now cuz you are more a constitution build, you get fucked over because you cant see threats to you beyond the obvious... but they exist

    most girls are perception builds... so they tend to see the world in a way you are blind to
    this makes you capable of presenting them with threats and signals you cant even percieve or intend

    never the less they are real...

    and so when you let go of the rope, you become a wrecking ball...
    but you cant do surgery with a wrecking ball... so you have to re-spec

    how? fucked if I know...
    but the general rule of our biology etc is you gotta let a strength go to even open the possibility of a change, and it aint fast
    my guess is... respeccing is hard for a low perception build to attain

    Its retarded to talk in terms of games, but im just trying to dumb it down a shitload
    since my guess is, the first part of this post was pure heiroglyphics to those "not specced into perception"

    People LITERALLY see the world differently based on how the blood is feeding chemical homeostasis to the brain
    So your blood is essentially causing your brain to be less perceptive than is possible in human physiology

    Its like learning languages... if you dont know spanish a guy can insult you and everything you love and you laugh in his face cuz you didnt hear a word
    but once you gain the language, you GET the insult, and can defend yourself but its tricky to do

    my guess is you prefer not hearing shit, to responding well to it, so you subconsciously favor it in all cases where you can, rather than risking vulnerability
    and your insecurity only further drives you to block shit off, rather than open up to new perceptions

    A person with high perception, is physically and emotionally malleable... meaning SENSITIVE
    and not just mentally, their perception of the world and beliefs are under threat
    like being "sensitive to light" it has its own issues

    so... your problem is a constitution problem not letting you see shit... but if you saw shit maybe youd rather be a turtle...
    so if you wanna "respec" respect what you are walking into isnt a fix, but a change


    • SargeMaximus


      Editing a comment
      I didn’t understand a lot of this but the threat thing is interesting since when I’m very angry and think of doing harm, people suddenly like me a lot. So it makes no sense to me.

      The other paradigm is when I feel like shit and everyone likes me but who wants to live feeling like shit?

      Edit: plus I don’t buy the threat theory because if that were the case no one would get murdered cause people would go apeshit the second a murderer showed up

      Or like that serial killer that picked women up in his car and murdered them in the woods. Where was the perception of all those women?

      Or old ladies getting conned out of their life savings, where’s the intuition? So yeah, I don’t buy it

  • #3
    My speculation is you are coming across as trying to be happy though is NOT congruent with you and who you are, therefore you are coming across as a fake....

    p.s. what is funny is that i am actually in my core happy and fake being angry and people love it lol...


    • SargeMaximus


      Editing a comment
      Edit: so you’re saying when I’m actually happy it’s so incongruent with who I am normally that people think I’m faking it? Do I understand you correctly?

    • Skills360


      Editing a comment
      people are reading as you FAKING being happy, for whatever reason... comes across as trying hard to be liked...

  • #4
    Cosy is saying you lack self awareness and perception. Which is true.

    You actually kind of remind me of myself. . . when I first started learning seduction. That is why I keep coming back to try and help you lol. You're a practical, stubborn, results-oriented guy. And these are good qualities for a seducer to have. You need to be practical when evaluating tech, to see what works and what doesn't.

    You need stubbornness to avoid giving up, and staying on the path towards improvement. And being result oriented will get you results sooner or later. On the other hand, without perception, self awareness and. . . yes empathy too. Without these things, you will continue to self-sabotage your chances of becoming great at seduction.

    Some months ago, when I told you that you needed to be more empathetic, you misunderstood what I meant.

    By empathetic I do not mean a sappy, push-over. What I mean is the ability to understand the emotions of other people. If you cannot understand the emotions, of the women you attempt to seduce, then your odds of fucking her are very slim. For example, how can you hope to push the right buttons, to fill a woman with burning lust and passion, if you seriously struggle to understand her emotions. I hope you are starting to see how empathy can be useful as a seducer.

    Because seduction at the highest level. Requires that you are able to read her emotional state, at any moment in the ongoing seduction with supreme accuracy. So you can know where she's at right now. Where she needs to be. And how you can get her there. Call it strategic empathy if you like. This is also crucial for calibration.

    And if you're a perceptive guy, this will boost your ability to read her emotional state.

    Plus you'll be able to pick up on the useful signs, women give out consciously and unconsciously. And self awareness will enable you to know how your actions affect the emotional state of the women you seduce. It will also prevent you from doing things that turn women off. So to answer your OP a little more specifically, it's quite possible, that there is a mismatch with what you feel and how you project it to other people. Sounds like a self awareness problem. . .


    • Skills360


      Editing a comment
      The problem is you take advice out of context, the reason bd says not to complement women is cause he does online game./instagram and the likes.... women get hundreds of pms/messages saying:

      "you are so beautiful"
      "wow you are so stunning"

      So another guy saying such thing, could trigger to think "oh this is just another ordinary dude"..... Now if i am dating a girl that thinks i am above her level and she is saying "wowow why would you agree to meet me you can do so much better, i bet you get a lot of beautiful girls what would you be with a girl like me" and if she cont. to self deprecate a complement there would not be harmful as long as is honest... But your saying i don't complement women becuase bd says without understanding is the problem, you need to understand why are you doing what you are doing, what is the reasoning behind things.... I told you this before and you said something such as "i don't give a fuck on understanding i just want a line" or such cause in sells you do it like that....

    • SargeMaximus


      Editing a comment
      Skills I love your insight, I mean yes I totally need understanding behind it (your example was great) when it came to me saying I need lines it’s cause yes in sales I do scripts of what to say but I also have the understanding. In pick up I lack both but I’m developing my own script (freestyling) based on the principles I’m learning.

      So I appreciate it all cause I have unawareness but as I learn more I develop my own style that is congruent with me.

      @cosy: isn’t that what I’m doing? But there are situations I’m unaware of that come up and that’s when I refer back to pua. Btw tried some empathy and non-freestyling just now and it was a disaster see my thread. I’ve pretty much determined my congruent style is jerk that gets laid game. Empathy isn’t part of it. My frame will be so strong girls will just get sucked into it. I theorize why it works is because everyone secretly desires they could be themselves without having to act a role.

      I’m open to improving and that’s why I’m here, and that’s why I love the advice, but this empathy thing always gets me worse results. So you tell me what I’m supposed to make of that

      I recognize I need improvement but this goes back to my other thread that if something ain’t working when do you say it just doesn’t work for you?

      Ideally I learn things that make my interactions with women more controllable to the point I can have sex with them whenever. What I need tool/technique/mindset/state-wise I’m not sure but I believe it exists since guys like you can do it. But are you doing what needs to be done in order to get girls? Or are you doing what is congruent with you to get gurls?

    • SargeMaximus


      Editing a comment
      I should mention that the empathy Bacchus is talking about (strategic/ a means to the end which is sex) seems to have worked with that girl I mentioned so I’m pleasantly surprised and admit I thought she’d go a different way. It’s still not sold yet she just agreed to meet in the day but yeah.

  • #5
    Originally posted by SargeMaximus View Post
    Since pua is all about state and vibe
    I wouldn't say "all about", but it's definitively a huge, huge factor.

    Especially when guys like RSD talk about being in high energy states yet for me Iíve always had the most negative reactions from people when Iím feeling really good, pumped, or happy.
    I wouldn't listen to RSD about that (or anything else). The fact that somebody from the PUA industry is speaking about something, doesn't mean he's really competent in that area. Please read about my impressions about the vibe of some RSD "masters" I've met:

    As for your problems, you should understand that "high energy" isn't the same as "good energy". High energy can have different tones, vibes - it can be pleasant and charismatic, or it can be abrasive and repulsive. A great example of a bad high energy is a drunk guy dancing wildly, flailing his arms around in a frenzied manner - his energy is high, but it's not good.

    Despite what many people might think, the same goes for being happy. One can be happy in a unpleasant, "autistic", or even sadistic manner. Again, many drunk people are a great example of this - quite often a drunk person is happy in a negative, unpleasant manner, being loud, obnoxious and rude. And I don't just means the words and behaviors themselves, I also mean the vibe.

    Have you tried aiming for a vibe that is warm, pleasantly sexual, harmonious?


    • SargeMaximus


      Editing a comment
      I haven’t. I do know I’m a bit sadistic tho. But I’m hoping I’ll find masochistic girls to match.

      But you’re not an RSD fan eh? What would you recommend instead? The way I see it, it’s like a windmill. I need to get the wind to make it go. Oil (like empathy and stuff) may help once it’s moving but they don’t make it move. Hope that makes sense to you all.

  • #6
    (still not able to comment posts, so replying in a new post)

    SargeMaximus Being sadistic in a BDSM context is perfectly fine, but the question is if your vibe isn't mean, unfriendly in some way.

    As for what I recommend, I don't recall a seduction product I could truly recommend, but I think the old works of Gunwitch are quite nice - the simple stuff about sexual state, assuming rapport, etc.

    As for the windmill, wind and oil, I think I understand the comparison, but I don't get where you are going with this. Could you explain more clearly?


    • SargeMaximus


      Editing a comment
      Yes I’d be glad to explain ( I just came up with it so I’m not surprised it’s not an effective analogy haha) but first I have to clarify: when I’m mean, girls go NUTS for me, but I have a lot of shame surrounding that but whenever it’s cone out, I’ve gotten the hottest girls super attracted. This is why I started the topic, my life is bizarro land, when I’m happy thinking good stuff no one like ms me, when I’m an angry malicious guy people like me.

      Anyhow, the analogy is that I basically need understanding and techniques that will up the buying temperature of girlsi come into contact with. I want to up the BT so high they abandon all ASD and shit. I imagine it’s possible.

      The wind is the fuel (mindsets, techniques) that accomplish that goal (the windmill turning= BT so high I can get the girls I want the way I want ). Things like empathy do not move the windmill (up buying temp) they just make the seduction go smoother.

      Hope that clarifies!

      Btw, it’s awesone you guys are all helping me with this, much appreciated.

  • #7
    Like I said before, you try to do too much. This thread is pure mental masturbation, what exactly will you be able to achieve by discovering why people treat u differently based on what mood your in? I suggest to stop making threads and just focus on the tips I have been giving you on the sticking points thread and on your infields. They have been working well and you have been learning very quickly.


    • SargeMaximus


      Editing a comment
      Fair enough. I just get greedy for progress and try to multiply it I guess

  • #8
    Another one of those "could be a million reasons". But the most likely IMO is that the people you are interacting with are on too much of a lower wave-length to you, so you create dissonance which is annoying to these people.

    So the solution is to quickly gauge what wave-length they are at, place yourself just slightly above and gradually pull them up. That way you don't create dissonance and the journey to higher frequency wave-lengths becomes more pleasant to the people you interact with. Hope that makes sense.


    • SargeMaximus


      Editing a comment
      Yes I’ve heard something similar in sales. I never figured out how to pull them up tho. How is that accomplished?

    • Stargazer


      Editing a comment
      By simply being in a slightly more up place than the girl, so that you inspire her come closer to your state of mind.

      It may sound complex but really is very simple. It is just a bit hard to explain since you need to go a bit abstract.

    • SargeMaximus


      Editing a comment
      Ok. I think I know what you mean. It’s like, instead of getting rigid and re-affirming my state, I should come down a bit to meet them but still be ready to go up so there’s a sort of pull towards the up but only if they’re willing to go.