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Getting Fucked Up By Getting Results

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  • Getting Fucked Up By Getting Results

    hey guys, this happens to me quite often: I get in good state, get good results in sales (or with women, had both today) but then I start to get in my head and try to ensure Iíll keep getting good results and then I lose the results.

    how do I overcome this? Itís like a fear of not achieving makes me not achieve but just letting things happen doesnít achieve anything either. Itís like I need to have my outcome but not be wound up tight about it or something. Anyone know what Iím talking about and how to remain in the good state and amplify it instead of evaporate it?

  • #2
    Here is something that has definitely helped me in sales to overcome this problem and I don't see why this wouldn't extend to seduction as well.

    Focus on the process instead of the results.
    The steps you take to get the results are the ONLY thing you can realistically influence. Everything else is largely outside of your control, but making sure you 'dot your i's and cross your t's' is a thing you can do reliably each and every day. Everything else follows.

    If I had a day when everything goes wrong for some reason, I 'd laugh at the irony of my situation, then shrug it off and then move on immediately.
    If I had a great day where I closed enough deals to not have to work for the rest of the month, I wont stop to celebrate and think of all the cool holiday destinations I can go to with my new-found money. I'll smile, shrug it off a fluke and move onto the next deal, which I ll probably close even easier with my new-found enthusiasm too. Leave the celebrations for late evenings. Now is GO TIME!

    Comment


    • Grodmeister General
      Editing a comment
      yes .100 percent focus on the process not the result!

  • #3
    I didnít know you were in sales too. Thanks for the insight.

    it absolutely extends to seduction for me tho. Itís like Iíll be doing whatever and a girl will become interested, then I try to game her which changes my congruence and Iíll lose her.

    Comment


    • #4
      You stop making "proclaimations" in your head that you are succeeding
      Make too many and you'll choke for sure

      You learn overtime to subdue excitement to a degree

      Comment


      • SargeMaximus

        SargeMaximus

        commented
        Editing a comment
        Yes this makes sense to me, thank you Cozy.

    • #5
      try the 1% rule

      it say that the little 1% changes are more important than the huge jumps (which your mind is looking for all the time)

      your conclusions always have a brutality (eg on emphathy - "itll make you beta. field tested" etc).

      meaning youre not seeing the important little changes - the 1% changes you are getting.

      if you start looking at the little new things instead of clinging to "big immediate impacts" which you seem to do im sure youll feel a huge change

      do this all around.

      and itll start accumulating

      even if a chick responds negatively - YOU did take a step forward in doing something = a 1 or 2% change.

      You did see something important - just a 1% change

      and maybe there was a 1% change to the response in relation to other responses you get

      this is often the reality of changes

      if you take action and focus like this itll accumulate into an energy of strength - many 1%ers starts feeling more motivating
      Heard you not the type that you take home to mom

      Glows Log

      Comment


      • SargeMaximus

        SargeMaximus

        commented
        Editing a comment
        This is a good point, thanks. I actually really needed that.

    • #6
      I concur with above, don't attach your happiness with the outcome. Shit, I just did a body composition analysis done recently.

      Over the past YEAR of consistent weightlifting more than anytime in my life, I've LOST 0.25 pounds of muscle. Am I going to get butthurt and quit the gym? NO. This means I fucked up somewhere and need to figure it out.

      Comment


      • SargeMaximus

        SargeMaximus

        commented
        Editing a comment
        When have I ever quit? I just want results.

    • #7
      Problem is when you are not happy with the process anymore.

      After a while results DO matter, or else you feel like you're spinning in circles.
      I guess that's where sarge is coming from.

      Best way to not feel discouraged is to write down what you're doing and analyze what work and what don't work FOR YOU.
      personal blog: https://realpob.wordpress.com/

      Comment


      • SargeMaximus

        SargeMaximus

        commented
        Editing a comment
        Yes this.

        I’m trying POB. Doesn’t help when guys on here tell me I gotta keep doing shit that ain’t working for me tho.

        It would be good to know how long you should give things before you decide they don’t work for you. Or anecdotes from the master pua’s on here such as yourself of techniques you tried that are common knowledge as “good” but didn’t work for you despite your advanced level.

    • #8

      key is to figure out YOUR relationship w success. You actually put some key things in the OP

      Originally posted by SargeMaximus View Post
      Itís like a fear of not achieving makes me not achieve but just letting things happen doesnít achieve anything either. Itís like I need to have my outcome but not be wound up tight about it or something.
      you need to reduce your specific fear reaction as it triggers bad coping mechanisms

      making it a bit more complex - u need to
      1) reduce fear reaction (and others may lie under fear eg pain/ sorrow/sdnesss - the job is to feel it and connect w the fear allow it feel it then release a lil in cycles. or other models. even be curious to the fear - investigate it. and find out if you feel other things around the fear as often people feel frustration in relation to it pushing the fear away or avoiding it which makes it stuck). one key is to figure out how to feel things for you to connect better w the fear in a mature way. you need patience in this and realise that its learning to feel.
      2) develop healthy new ways to manage your doings around the results. Switch away from how youre currently doing it. A key is to look for ways to move into it in other ways than your back and forward thing. eg try the 1% way. or find other ways to manage the progression as you have some result in grasp better than previously.

      its a gradual process of working on both parts
      just move each 1 % at a time
      give yourself time to just adjust things a little gradually
      Heard you not the type that you take home to mom

      Glows Log

      Comment


      • #9
        Correction: I'm not even close to being a "master PUA"...at best I'm very good at online and average on the rest (but I'm slowly improving)

        One thing that is key is to retro-analyze one of your success histories, write it down in detail (action report) and relieve it moment by moment in your head before engaging a new prospect.
        personal blog: https://realpob.wordpress.com/

        Comment


        • Skills360

          Skills360

          commented
          Editing a comment
          he knows this(,that you are not a master pua) is part of his act

        • SargeMaximus

          SargeMaximus

          commented
          Editing a comment
          Wtf skills. I didn’t know and I don’t have an “act”

          Ok thanks POB. I will do this.

          Recently I been getting better results from freestyling so I assume that’s why the skills-hate. Peace.
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