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Approach anxiety cure and why it is prevalent in the Pua industry

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  • Approach anxiety cure and why it is prevalent in the Pua industry

    I am in the middle of writing some infields. I thought I'd take some time to help some people online with their approach anxiety. It is the least I could do to give back to the community.


    Here is the truth when it comes to approach anxiety.

    Approach anxiety does not exist. It is myth used by the PUA community to exploit members. The motive is to create fear that will push you towards buying a PUA product.

    Have i shocked you? Good.

    You see, I have never had approach anxiety. Most people in the world do not.

    I have had physiological reaction to certain situations, which I then can interpret as anxiety -- because that's all feelings are: brain interpretations we make based on assessing a situation we face.

    Hence, why one newbie athletes anxiety about entering a race is another veteran athlete's excitement about that same race. Same psychological reactions occur for both but different mental interpretation.


    I do a lot of presentation work in my job. Making public speeches is normal day for me.


    Below are ways that will help you overcome your bad approach anxiety habit. Give it one week and you'll see a big difference.


    Firstly, I will tell you what to avoid doing and then what to do.


    Do not do the below step to overcome approach anxiety:

    1. Open 100s of random women like a fool, hoping you'll get over your approach anxiety.

    Because this will take you forever to overcome and you'll always have anxiety.



    Do the below steps to overcome your approach anxiety:


    1. Start meditating.

    Meditation helps you with focus. When you have bad limiting thoughts and start to catastrophes more, your meditation skills will help you to focus on something else.



    2. If you can't help thinking negativity because your habit is too strong, then think about the positive aspect you enjoy about doing what you fear. For example, if you are scared of doing public speaking, focus instead on the joy you get from presenting a topic you like. Similarly, if you fear approaching someone, focus instead on the pleasure you get talking to women about a topic you enjoy.


    3. Learn improv technique "Yes, and". You can practice this at home. You need to be able to go with the flow of anything that is said to you.

    For example, a girl says, "I have to go now!".

    You can respond, "Yes, and.. before you do etc.." and continue to move forward. Create different scenarios and practice everyday at home.



    4. Learn how to deal with rejection comments you receive infield.

    You deal with rejection by finding a common ground for the statement that is made to you. This insures that you do not take things to heart and will not let rejection cripple you.

    For example, a girl says "You are too fat for me!".

    You could respond, " Having a physical preference is important like other preferences. I like respect you now even more. By the way...etc"

    First create a common ground and then stack forward.,





    If you follow the steps I have mentioned above, you'll soon notice what most players in the world already know. Approach anxiety does not exists. Social anxiety typically accounts for less than 10% of world population, but have you noticed nearly 95% of Pua guys seem to have it? It is bullshit.






  • #2
    1. you have to approach approach approach and you have to keep pushing your comfort level upon approach( mixed sets seated sets large sets) meditation is crap does nothing ..if you cant approach start small (ina day) and work it up to decent approaches(ina day) volume and velocity

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Grodmeister General View Post
      1. you have to approach approach approach and you have to keep pushing your comfort level upon approach( mixed sets seated sets large sets) meditation is crap does nothing ..if you cant approach start small (ina day) and work it up to decent approaches(ina day) volume and velocity

      I agree with you about starting small and working up. I have met young pua guys who have been gaming for years and still get crippling anxiety from talking to women. Meditation, although unconvincing medically to a lot people, is scientifically proven to relax you in times of stress. It is why special forces I taught breathing techniques to center themselves and refocus in times of crisis. Anyway, I did a lot of infields using the mystery method bro. I'll soon write up an infield report this week and like your advice on it because you are an expert on this method.

      Comment


      • Grodmeister General
        Editing a comment
        meditation will calm you in a time of stress..at the TIME YOU APPROACH would be the time that would work and if you are seen mediating at a venue ...you rupture social value ...waking up in the morning meditating does nothing cuz at that time you are not stressed and B, you are not in the process of approaching and yes write the report up!

    • #4

      "Approach anxiety does not exist. It is myth used by the PUA community to exploit members. The motive is to create fear that will push you towards buying a PUA product."

      This is the same bullshit these so called Daygamers or Naturals started saying as marketing as when they talked bad things about PUAs to market their own Products .

      Comment


      • Grodmeister General
        Editing a comment
        it really is ....approach anxiety does exist we have a dude on here talking about how bad it is in another thread lol

    • #5
      This is to shut your PUAhate mouth ..
      A free PUA product to solve Approach Anxiety www.toddwinnergame.com .

      Comment


      • #6
        If you need to approach, then you've already failed.

        If you have to approach, then you've already gotten yourself into a situation where you are dependent on your own performance in order to get laid, and thus you're dependent on the outcome of the approach in order to gauge whether it was successful or not. That is a terrible place to come from, as it puts a ton of needless pressure on yourself to succeed. It is why approaching is so scary to most people, because when you approach, what you do actually matters. The catch 22 is that if the approach doesn't matter to you, then you're not approaching an attractive girl anymore either...

        Second, when you approach, you're also a threat. You're a threat to the woman, wondering wtf you're coming up to her for. And you're a threat to her friends, wondering if you'll try to take her away from them. And you're a threat to other men, who want to monopolize the woman before you, or who simply just want to protect her, and so some of them will invariably become hostile to you if you try to approach.

        In short, approaching will land you in a heap of trouble. Enter a slew of ways to cope with that, like negging, AMOGGING, befriending the fat friend, and other bullshit that doesn't really solve the underlying problem: That you're preceived as a threat, but worst of all, that you're really pretty desperate because you're dependent of the outcome of your approach. All of that translates into to being the lowest of the low; a low value person trying to get others to like you...

        So how do you fix this problem? Well, for one, social affirmations has been scientifically proven to work. Source: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs...56797611417725 So the first thing you can do, even before you lift your ass off the sofa, is to simply tell yourself that people and women love you, and they love to speak to you, and they love that you come over for a chat. In fact, they would love nothing more than to have sex with you, and they are just aching for you to suggest it for them.

        Since we've already concluded that chasing women doens't work, then simply socialize instead. Mingle. Speak to everyone. Don't stay for too long. Instead joke around, or make sure people are having a good time. Spread the good vibes around. This is extremely attractive behaviour to everyone, and it removes you as threat to both women and men. And then something magical happens. You become socially acceptable for everyone. Then people will start giving you offers. Some will even suggest that you speak to the single woman in the crowd, because you're a genuinely cool guy. And when you do end up talking to a woman like that, all you really need to say to get laid is this: "Ok, I'm going home. You coming?"

        And even if she doesn't want to, then it shouldn't matter, because you should have a fulfilled life already. So just tell her to call you later, but go anyway, because Playstation, or sleep, or whatever. This is showing them in no uncertain way that you're outcome independent, and that you were merely giving her an opportunity to spend more time with a really cool and attractive guy. Either way, you win. The kinds of women you'll spend your time with when adopting this way of thinking, are way more beautiful and sexy than the low value beggars you got home before, you'll feel much better for bringing them home - and into your life - and last of all, it'll stop requiring any effort at all, aside from socializing.

        So did I just advice you to stop approaching? No. I adviced you to completely change the way you think and behave about approaching, so that you're no longer perceived as this low life having to "approach" in order to get laid, while at the same time removing nearly all social pressure you put on yourself for approaching. High value alpha males don't have to do any of that. Instead women come to them. But the real message here, is that you can be one of those men.

        Comment


        • Ratata

          Ratata

          commented
          Editing a comment
          1. Yes and no. If approaching is scaring the shit outta you, then you ought to change your strategy. The above post shows just that; a radically different strategy to "approaching", which is to stop approaching entirely in order to stop chasing women, and instead mingle and socialize with everyone. That way you don't have to "approach" anymore, but you still get in touch with a lot of women in a high value and socially acceptable way.
          2. With this approach you don't really need a special opener, but if you still feel that you need something to hang onto, that's fine.
          3. Do my approach RIGHT and you won't need amog, negging, and none of that bs. Instead you can just not be a pussy, simply take the moral high ground and stand up for yourself.
          4. I wrote the post to convince people to STOP approaching. Following the post, you're not supposed to approach at all. You're not even supposed to make an "approach" not look like an approach. Perhaps I was vague, but it was meant as a radical alternative to approaching, which will in turn make it a lot easier to meet good and high value women. You do that by mingling and socialising with everyone instead of approaching (that one girl). When people like you, they will come to you. Or you will find out together, and simply "hit it off".
          5. You're never going to become a "master PUA" with this approach (no pun intended). You're just more likely to become fulfilled and happy, and get better, less troublesome women, that are far easier to get to bed to boot, because they actually find you attractive. No gimmicks.

        • Grodmeister General
          Editing a comment
          1.you need to approach people to mingle 2. not true at all if you do indirect the way its taught ,you neeed to neg combined with attract spikes to set up a3 (their wanting to win you over, if they already have you(you didnt break rapport) then there is no chasing, mingling does not break rapport and just cuz you mingle doesnt mean some guy wont see you as a threat , you still should learn amogging or male disarming tactics 4. no argument here , approaches should look circular (all aroudn you ) not linear (straight line .5. I know at least 3 masters and seen them including mystery himself approach ..they did it the way I am describing ,do you have any top notch pua who can vouch for your way ?

        • Ratata

          Ratata

          commented
          Editing a comment
          1. "you need to approach people to mingle" Well, sort of. But certainly not in the same way as when you approach that one girl, where everything hangs on getting the delivery just right, or the world ends.
          2. "not true at all if you do indirect the way its thaught" If you already know Mystery Method, you'll be really amazed by this philosophy, as it's nearly the complete antithesis to MM. I think you'll also feel extremely liberated if you give it a try, because it almost entirely takes away the need to perform.
          "you still should learn amogging or male disarming tactics" You don't really have to if you follow this philosophy. Then simply taking the moral high ground is more than enough. But yeah, if it makes you feel more secure, then sure, learn amogging. I know it too. I've certainly had my share of fun with it, that's for sure. But it's not stricly needed for this approach. Do this right, and women will approach you! No A-Z circular negging moves or anything like that. Just pure male attractiveness and outcome independence making women curious about you. My experience is that it's way simpler and less taxing than MM, yet the result is still - I'd say - better(!), with longer lasting relationships and better and more attractive women.
          "do you have any top notch pua who can vouch for your way ?" I have only my own life-altering experience with this, but it seems to me at least a few other peeps in here subscribe to the same, or similar, modes of meeting people. Anyway I understand that you're curious about this. If you really are, then what do you think about simply trying it out for yourself instead of asking for references? Make it a challenge, even! Can you go out without chasing women? And will your radically changed behavour make women chase you instead of you having to chase them? I think that's a worthy challenge for a knowledgeable guy like you. Best of luck!

      • #7
        Originally posted by BLW View Post
        Approach anxiety does not exist.

        (...)

        Do the below steps to overcome your approach anxiety:
        What the absolute fuck. At least try to stay consistent within a single article. You, sir, have shocked me.

        I might have posted this before. It tries to break down the conglomerate that people talk about when they refer to "AA": https://www.dropbox.com/s/y3iqdlcp4n...ities.pdf?dl=0

        Comment


        • #8
          Originally posted by Ratata View Post
          If you need to approach, then you've already failed.
          Why do you say this and below teach people how to approach, Ratata style? This whole post is, at best, an exercise in misdirection.

          Originally posted by Ratata View Post
          simply socialize instead. Mingle. Speak to everyone.
          ...Are you telling people to approach?

          Originally posted by Ratata View Post
          Instead women come to them. But the real message here, is that you can be one of those men.
          Adventure Time with Finn and Ratata.

          Comment


          • Ratata

            Ratata

            commented
            Editing a comment
            Well, I guess you technically have to "approach" when you mingle, but you're not approaching anyone in particular, least of all women. Instead, while mingling, you're simply presenting yourself to the entire room by being cool to everyone, also men. Since everyone gets to know you (at least briefly), and they know that you're a cool and high value guy, then nobody will perceive you as a threat anymore (or at least very few). Quite the contrary, chances are high that you'll be perceived as an asset, and thus people will want to do favours for you, such as buying you a beer or presenting you to their single female friends. More often than not, these will be high value individuals just like yourself. And since people also view you as high value, you'll have an easier time getting to know those other high value individuals in the room without having to deal with bitch shields, amogging or other such nonsense.

            This represents a radical alternative to classical "approaching", where you have to muster the confidence to go speak to that one girl, and where the entire outcome of the conversation hangs upon your ability to impress her in some way, or use some technique correctly in order to get her to like you - often involving getting around her "defences" in some way, which are really only there because you represent a threat. In short, it takes away the need for you to perform, which is a major source of social anxiety. This approach takes away all that pressure, including the need to use any particular techniques, and instead helps you focus on the people that are genuinely interested in you. When you meet such a person, and the meta is that you both like each others, then taking her home becomes a complete afterthought.

            Of course, the only way you can find people who are interested in you, is to "approach" people, but I think you now know enough to see the difference between mingling and approaching "that one girl" in order to impress her. The former requires much less effort, and the latter puts way more social pressure on you to perform. The effort involved in this "approach" is of course to mingle with, and present yourself to as many people in the room as possible. However this requires far less confidence than going up to that "one" girl, meaning that you don't need to convince anyone of anything, since you're simply being social and having a good time while meeting a bunch of new people. As a consequence, that increasese the likelihood of meeting that one girl on far better terms, and chances are that you won't have to use any techniques in order to impress her, because she'll already be interested in you.

            Anyway, if you still want to do the more direct approach, then nobody's stopping you. If that works for you, then fine. Both you and I know it can work. But I think the gentleman in the OP had some trouble with that. And in that case, I think this "approach" can serve as a valid alternative, until which times he feels more confident about making a more daring approach.

        • #9
          Grod ,

          ​​​​​​I was saying that what BLW said is what those so called pathetic Daygamers or Naturals started saying that Approach Anxiety is nothing to market their own products and by by the way good pointers about meditation hahaha..

          Comment


          • Grodmeister General
            Editing a comment
            yeah I more or less agree with that ,we got some funny guys on this forum , saying you dont need to approach and value isnt real etc.

          • COCPORN

            COCPORN

            commented
            Editing a comment
            Grodmeister: We have all kinds of people on this forum.I didn't mean to be super aggressive. It is just... You know. The guys on this forum.

        • #10
          Cocporn ,
          this is the reason Grod gets mad a little here by some pathetic posters here.

          Comment


          • Grodmeister General
            Editing a comment
            I'm not mad ratatta post was half correct. cocporns post is something else though.

        • #11
          Originally posted by COCPORN View Post

          What the absolute fuck. At least try to stay consistent within a single article. You, sir, have shocked me.

          I might have posted this before. It tries to break down the conglomerate that people talk about when they refer to "AA": https://www.dropbox.com/s/y3iqdlcp4n...ities.pdf?dl=0
          I read your draft document (with some difficulty - my iPad really, really didnít like the Dropbox website).

          Itís probably worth refining these ideas - some of them certainly resonated with my own experiences with AA.

          You mention good results with TRE. I think a few other posters have as well. But Iíve never really seen any good actionable advice on using this technique.

          Can you go into some more detail on what it is, and how to use it for AA?

          Comment


          • #12
            Originally posted by No More Mr Nice Guy View Post

            I read your draft document (with some difficulty - my iPad really, really didnít like the Dropbox website).

            Itís probably worth refining these ideas - some of them certainly resonated with my own experiences with AA.

            You mention good results with TRE. I think a few other posters have as well. But Iíve never really seen any good actionable advice on using this technique.

            Can you go into some more detail on what it is, and how to use it for AA?
            TRE is interesting.

            Quick explanation - everyone's experienced muscle shaking when fatigued muscles hit certain angles. For example that last bench press at the gym when you're half way up and your arms start to shake. TRE is a way to trigger this at your core muscle level, and it turns out your core muscular system can catch and sustain this shaking for some amount of time. This results in your muscles releasing quite a bit of stored tension.

            Everything is fact up to this point. If you 1. fatigue core muscle system 2. hit the right angle of pressure to kick off the muscle shaking 3. relax into it where it catches 4. your muscles will shake and release tension. Its a very pleasant, relaxing, invigorating, meditative, massage-type feeling

            Beyond this, psychologists start to hypothesize that what's happening is years worth of stored trauma gets released by your body without you even having to cope with the underlying psychological stress, as evidenced by PTSD sufferers finding notable relief, and other cases.

            Whether its as deep and psychologically meaningful as that, or if it simply relaxes you and makes you feel rejuvenated like a massage, it takes you away from a flight-or-fight state of muscular tension and towards a relaxed and in-the-zone state, so it could definitely be helpful to some for AA.

            Comment


            • #13
              Yeah, thatís consistent with what I have read, and also my own experience.
              I kind of discovered TRE on my own, when it occasionally happened spontaneously when I smoked marijuana. I would notice some tension somewhere in my body, I would try to relax it, and those muscles would start to shake. I learned to just relax into it , Although it was a little alarming at first.

              For me, I do experience the pleasant relaxing feeling that you mention, but it doesnít feel cathartic. I donít think thereís an underlying trauma that is being released, I think itís just habitual muscle tension. Therefore, I prefer to call them tension releasing exercises, not trauma release exercises.

              Has anyone here successfully used TRE to fix AA?

              The draft that Cocporn linked to mentioned it several times, but didnít provide any details.

              Comment


              • Logic&Reason

                Logic&Reason

                commented
                Editing a comment
                I've come to the same conclusion.

                Similar to my current conclusions on meditation. Its a great brain-focus exercise that brings awareness to your underlying thought processes, which once recognized can gradually be improved upon. It definitely helps clear the mind of thought clutter, opening up brain potential to be spent on more useful mental pursuits. It also helps clear the mind of needless negative feedback loops, making your moment to moment life more enjoyable and your overall disposition more happy and optimistic. But I don't get the "spiritual plane" type stuff from it at all.

                I think people's chosen perception of these things can add a placebo effect. I try to be as objective as possible. But perhaps my objectivity is clouding a part of myself from the spiritual universe and I'm missing something (almost certain that its not, but I'll keep a small percentage open to anything.)

              • glow

                glow

                commented
                Editing a comment
                for me the TRE relaxation goes deeper - like nervous system level full body some days and obvious somatic impact.
                are you following the proper procedure step by step?

                if AA induces a more grounded, calm state it should support if one recalls it when eg entering a venue. eg like ijjjis night game thread outlines as part of the outline. But if it sneaks in by itself as an overall change to a more calmed down state i think can be case by case and prob more a reducer of AA than a remover. Also tension blocks flow so maybe it enables better emotional management which could be seen as key to AA management.

                Also interestingly, the calm states allow for a much better connection w girls pre&during opening in my and others experience - like its often harmoneous for them. TRE might be helpful there.

                just some hypotheses

              • Logic&Reason

                Logic&Reason

                commented
                Editing a comment
                I'm like Mr Nice, I'm to the point where I don't even need to fatigue first (though it helps), my body almost asks for it and I get in position and hit the trigger point and off it goes. Like him though, it usually stays localized to my lower half, running up my spine to my neck occasionally and not sticking. I haven't been able to stick there. My shoulders and neck have always been exceptionally loose though (pointed out to me before in very tense situations where people give you that quick supportive shoulder rub), and my lower back exceptionally tight, the lower back is clearly where my body stores its stress.

                I don't at all rule out that there's more to it than what I've experienced so far.

                I do question the premise of the trauma release story though. A doctor goes into warzones and his experience there leads him to develop these exercises? I feel like its more a trick of the body that someone discovers, its not something that's "developed." The deep trauma release story then feels forced to me, like he found a trick of the body (that no doubt has some tension-releasing value) and crammed it into his story and mission a bit.

            • #14
              Here is a private message exchange I had last year with a previous member. Iíd forgotten about it...it has some details of interest. I never followed up with any field testing, because I donít do cold approach, but maybe somebody else could try it.
              • No More Mr Nice Guy 04-15-2018, 03:18 PM
                I would definitely be interested in a thread about TRE and AA
              • Guest
                Guest 04-15-2018, 04:50 PM
                There is not so much to write about it. Just do 10 sessions of TRE over maybe 2-3 months and notice the difference.

                https://www.amazon.com/Trauma-Releas...sing+exercises
              • No More Mr Nice Guy
                No More Mr Nice Guy 04-16-2018, 09:21 AM
                Should I do the exercises before going out and attempting approaches, or just do them any time?
              • Guest
                Guest 04-16-2018, 04:18 PM
                I suggest you don't do them the same day. You may feel a bit shaky afterwards.
              • No More Mr Nice Guy
                No More Mr Nice Guy 04-17-2018, 09:31 AM
                How will I know if it is working? Will I feel noticeably less anxiety when I think about, or attempt to approach?
              • Guest
                Guest 04-17-2018, 09:32 AM
                Yes. You should feel way less anxiety and stress when approaching.
              • No More Mr Nice Guy
                No More Mr Nice Guy 04-17-2018, 10:36 AM
                Interesting. When I do TRE, all I notice is reduced muscle tension in the parts of my body that tremble. Canít say Iíve noticed any other effects.

                but I kind of discovered TRE on my own, through smoking marijuana. And I can usually induce the tremors after a hard workout. But maybe I am not doing it right.

                I have watched some YouTube videos, and it seems to be the same. But could you briefly describe how you do it?
              • Guest
                Guest 04-17-2018, 10:40 AM
                Do you get full-body shakes? If not, you are not getting the full effect.
              • No More Mr Nice Guy
                No More Mr Nice Guy 04-17-2018, 10:54 AM
                No, they tend to be more localized, centred on my left hip and left lower back.

                How are you inducing full body shakes?
              • Guest
                Guest 04-17-2018, 10:57 AM
                I am not totally sure, you could try to do the priming exercises more accurately or deadlift a bit first.

                If you don't get them to spread after a few sessions of this I would try to see a TRE instructor, there are certified instructors in a small city such as Oslo in Norway so I think this should be possible most places.
              • No More Mr Nice Guy
                No More Mr Nice Guy 04-17-2018, 11:07 AM
                How did you learn Ė did you use the videos that you linked?
              • Guest
                Guest 04-17-2018, 11:58 AM
                I used a pirated one - unsure whether they are identical.

              Comment


              • #15
                There are some things not worth talking about.

                TRE is one of those things. It will take a night of your life, and you will end up being better. Noone will contest it. Do not talk about it except from telling people to do it.

                It will kill certain aspects of AA. I killed my AA recently and completely at an age of 44 by creating a Tinder stack that is insane.

                Comment

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