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liking this one specific girl - how to deal with her mentioning other guys

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  • liking this one specific girl - how to deal with her mentioning other guys

    yo people,

    I met this wonderful and intelligent girl (28years), inside and outside very beautiful. now we have been on almost 10 dates now including just fucking, smoking weed, watchin tv but also going to restaurants and theatre.
    We also have been on the telephone a couple of times, for hours. conversations flow, we go very (!) deep with emotional topics and our past but also have a lot of fun and laughter. she also tells me how much she likes the sex with me, and that she really likes me. she also sends me hearts over text and asks for dates with me. she also wants to go on a 5day trip to a major city with me. she also told me that she told her friends about me. in general she's a bit hesitant to fully admit how much she likes me.

    thing is she regularly tells me who she had a crush on, when we were walking in a park that she walked through this park with her ONS, and some other stuff.
    frankly, yes I feel jealous lol. have never really shared so much with a person emotionally while knowing that she gets fucked by other guys/another guy.

    I am not sure if she is just being honest and thus trusting me (because I am non judgemental) or if she is also trying to get some jealousy (if so then she does it very subtly and cleverly). and I don't really know how to emotionally respond to it but also verbally. until now I have been very unreactive to her stories and mentionings.

    take our last chat for example.:


    her after being away for a couple of days at her home town: I would really like to book you as a cuddly toy and good-night-company. When is your next free spot?

    me: good evening miss, nice to hear from you! dr feelgood is still on his business trip in XYZ but is back on Wednesday. Should I send him to your place in the evening?

    her: Good morning, thanks for the quick and nice reply. But for Wednesday I already have a good-night comany. Would dr feelgood be availible on Thursday or Saturday. I would be really glad! Best Regards Blabla (=nickname she gave to herself).


    now how would you respond to that (as an example how to respond to that stuff in general) ignore, tease her, encourage her, whatever?! yeah I know what a noobie question but I have only been one time in my life this close to a girl lol.

  • #2
    you reply thursday it is..... No gymmicky crap

    also read this https://nextasf.com/forum/nextasf/ge...fferent-pivots


    cuddling = fucking you know that right....

    Comment


    • #3
      Yep skills reply suggestion is solid. Let's her know her shit test didn't even register to you.

      Because that's what all that shit about her crush really is.
      Just to see if you'll react (jealousy). And if you do, you'll lose value in her eyes.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Skills360 View Post
        you reply thursday it is..... No gymmicky crap

        also read this https://nextasf.com/forum/nextasf/ge...fferent-pivots


        cuddling = fucking you know that right....
        haha, yeah i know that its fucking.

        its just a playful insider.

        thing is: she knows I like her a lot. and i know that she likes me a lot


        so I shouldnt play a game with her and say shit like that Im not availible on thursday or saturday and suggest a different day instead?!
        just be completely nonreactive?

        honestly it kinda makes me upset that she wrote that shit with the other guy lol. (which is the point of a shit test)

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Dr Feelgood View Post

          haha, yeah i know that its fucking.

          its just a playful insider.

          thing is: she knows I like her a lot. and i know that she likes me a lot


          so I shouldnt play a game with her and say shit like that Im not availible on thursday or saturday and suggest a different day instead?!
          just be completely nonreactive?

          honestly it kinda makes me upset that she wrote that shit with the other guy lol. (which is the point of a shit test)
          oh my bad, i get it now.... Tell her awesome! tell me all about it, turns me own lol...(if is congruent with you, that is something i would say).... So she is like putting you second place subcommunication and playing little games i get it....Jesus!

          Comment


          • #6
            do you have enough clout to tell her to drop that other guy ..if not i would figure out how to get to that point!

            Also this is why we learn the skillset and grind so we can attract girls like this REGULARLY so when they pull shit you dont like (mentioning fuckbuddies on the side) you dont have to cater to her cuz you cant find another woman like her, in fact ,every woman you meet is on her level etc. So you can find the one who gives ya the less bullshit! ( I wonder why you are not trying to accrue side pieces since she still has em)

            Comment


            • Dr Feelgood

              Dr Feelgood

              commented
              Editing a comment
              Im probably ego driven here but I think: its the woman's job to suggest monogamy (aka she wants me so bad) not mine (aka I want her so bad)

            • Grodmeister General
              Editing a comment
              its what you want ,if you wanna have her and just be with her then ask ask ask....all this be alpha stuff floating around on this pua forums and dudes cant even be straight up for what they want!

            • Skills360

              Skills360

              commented
              Editing a comment
              that is correct you want the girl to peruse monogamy which is her biological job, women job is to contain, main to be free.... women so call game is to get dudes to commit to her.... she will hint around the 3 to 6 months period monogamy directly or indirectly....... "what are we?" type convo

          • #7
            so my thought process is:

            two ways to respond to her text:

            a) be unreactive and say yes to her proposal.
            pro: unreactive
            contra: I fall into her frame? She says: okay, wednesday I fuck this guy, the day after you can come

            b) suggest a different date and wish her lots of fun with the guy (agree and amplify kinda)
            pro: carefree
            contra: reactive?

            Comment


            • #8
              Originally posted by Grodmeister General View Post
              do you have enough clout to tell her to drop that other guy ..if not i would figure out how to get to that point!
              if he tells her to drop that other guy is failing a shit test! DO NOT DO THIS....

              Comment


              • Futureproof

                Futureproof

                commented
                Editing a comment
                Grod, you're projecting here and I believe your advice is wrong. Skills is on point.

              • Skills360

                Skills360

                commented
                Editing a comment
                lol grod was kind of right, since according to dr. feel good she wanted her to be bold and ask her to cancel it...

              • Grodmeister General
                Editing a comment
                future proof ...PROVING he doesnt get girls or at least knows what they want or how to keep them!

            • #9
              Originally posted by Dr Feelgood View Post
              so my thought process is:

              two ways to respond to her text:

              a) be unreactive and say yes to her proposal.
              pro: unreactive
              contra: I fall into her frame? She says: okay, wednesday I fuck this guy, the day after you can come

              b) suggest a different date and wish her lots of fun with the guy (agree and amplify kinda)
              pro: carefree
              contra: reactive?


              yeah that is the right idea, i like b to be honest...btw i have been in these exact situations...

              Comment


              • #10
                As a general rule i prefer to react as little as possible and stimulate - "Saturday it is. Now get out of my head!"

                avoid any drama (dont assume it either) and just be genuine while flirting on a higher level.

                lowest effort possible.

                on your feelings - wait. Shes clearly communicating nonexclusivity. means you know where she stands. thne youcan move from there if you wanna change that. But dont do it reactively.

                Comment


                • Velasco

                  Velasco

                  commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Yup

              • #11
                She ain't fucking anybody on Wednesday. She just wanna see how he react to it. Even if she is, what good does it do worrying about it?

                Enjoy her for what she is. She ain't yo girlfriend bro

                Dr feelgoods just got a case of oneitis from not having other bitches on the side.

                Comment


                • Dr Feelgood

                  Dr Feelgood

                  commented
                  Editing a comment
                  yep, oneitis I do have. but yes, I do have two other bitches. although admittedly not of the same emotional quality as her.

              • #12
                glow, why did you delete your post with the bold response?

                Comment


                • Dr Feelgood

                  Dr Feelgood

                  commented
                  Editing a comment
                  haha yeah thanks I memorized it before you deleted it lol

                • glow

                  glow

                  commented
                  Editing a comment


                  i often respond to girls saying: "i cant tmrw - i have this and that with x and y"
                  Glow: Drop it! im way more fun.

                  - gives a good playfuld tension and some sissle

                • Futureproof

                  Futureproof

                  commented
                  Editing a comment
                  That's a nice, playful response! I'd even add in a winky face to further sub-communicate.

              • #13
                Originally posted by Dr Feelgood View Post
                But for Wednesday I already have a good-night comany. Would dr feelgood be availible on Thursday or Saturday. I would be really glad! Best Regards Blabla (=nickname she gave to herself).
                I prefer what skills said: "Nice, thursday it is".

                But I would put a caveat here.
                I would not text her on Thursday with anything but a neutral slightly playful confirmation text:
                "Hey, this is nurse Jane calling on behalf of Dr Feelgood. We need to confirm your consultation today at X hours."

                Comment


                • #14
                  Yeah the right answer is "cool see you Thursday."

                  There's definitely a bit of the usual jealousy plotting going on here, along with her testing exactly how cool you are with an obvious "we tell each other about it" open relationship.

                  Don't ask/don't tell seems to be the best bet for OLTR, though up for debate. May have to do with ingrained beliefs. may be biological, may be some of both, who knows. Its just that knowing exactly when your girl is fucking other guys can fuck with you unless you, in actuality, don't care at all. Which isn't that easy of an emotional position to obtain.

                  Also, its very possible to get one-its even with a rotation of girls. GFTOW and "get a rotation" won't prevent it. Whatever your reference point, exceptionality still exists.

                  Comment


                  • #15
                    Sharing a deep and emotionally-stimulating connection, with a girl is a wonderful aspect of seduction.

                    It's my understanding, that getting to this point was a goal of yours. So congratulations on reaching this milestone Dr Feelgood. However, there is some danger in all of this. When you start to operate under the assumptions, that your connection with this girl is special. Because of the strong feelings you share, and these feelings or this sense of connection are lacking or hard to find with other women. Now I'm not going to tell you, that your connection with this girl isn't special. . . because it is.

                    Connecting with a woman is a beautiful, special, experience. Not for the reasons, you might think though.

                    It's special because in this day and age, the social media age, human beings are starved for connection. We can communicate with other people, thousands of miles away on Instagram, Twitter and even on this forum. But it's still rare, for most people in this modern life to have a real connection, with another person. This is exacerbated, in modern dealings between men and women. So because of all this lack of connection in the world, it is special that you are able to share a connection with this girl.

                    On the other hand, you do have the potential. . . to share deep and emotionally-stimulating connections, with a wide range of women.

                    This is another milestone you can look towards. These days when I have a casual five minute chat with a woman. I can turn this into a deep connection and stimulating baring of hearts and souls. Virtually, with just the force of my own will. And I don't feel any inclinations to react to any perceived threats, or any need protect this connection at all costs.

                    Those things lessen / distract from the amount of pleasure, that I could be feeling as a result of the connection. That seems to be the core problem you're dealing with right now.

                    Instead I can enjoy the connection in it's entirety, take her home, sleep with her, and never see her again. . . and I won't feel a crushing sense of loss. Or I could hang out for a while, share a number of experiences with her, and then move on once the relationship reaches it's natural end. I'm not going to lose any sleep over this either. As you go out and seduce women, and the more you have these stimulating connections with them. Then the more you realize, that these feelings aren't exclusive to any specific girl. And you can share them with a wide range of women. You could share them again and again, one after the other, or simultaneously, with a number of women at the same time.

                    Each deep connection will have some slight differences, due to the fact that each individual girl is different. So aspects of your connections, or the specific paths that lead to this connection might vary, along with a number of other idiosyncrasies. But the strong feelings, depth of connection and the intense pleasure you share, remains the same.

                    This knowledge, of vast opportunities for connection, makes you a lot more secure in your dealings with women, as well as the connections you might share with them.

                    So instead of telling you to GFTOW, I'm going to suggest you go and connect with ten other women, then fuck them all too. So you can put yourself on the path, to sharing these connections with ease. And grow more secure in each connection, you might share with each woman. And most importantly, so you can enjoy these strong feelings in their entirety. Without feeling threatened or overly protective, of something that you could go out and basically recreate tomorrow.

                    Comment


                    • Dr Feelgood

                      Dr Feelgood

                      commented
                      Editing a comment
                      what a wonderful post. thanks for reminding me of my own goal (connections) and putting things into perspective.
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