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Why Do Pick-up?

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  • Why Do Pick-up?

    I am on a constant journey through life. I've had more experiences than I can even remember and I'm constantly learning. Now that I'm 27, I'm starting to get that stable-house-and-job twinge in me, and am beginning to wonder what my impact on the world will be. I know there's a lot of psychology here, in this community. What we do is so subtle, so powerful. We're making people (women) feel GREAT. We're constantly trying to improve ourselves. We're totally reframing the ways people think about relationships in a completely healthy, positive way devoid of ego. By holding that space ourselves, we're allowing women to enter our space and feel relaxed, safe, and affectionate.

    Along the way, we run into obstacles. We call them sticking points. Sometimes they manifest superficially, "I can't stop giving empty compliments," and sometimes they are much more profound "I have severe approach anxiety." And the journey over, through or around these obstacles is what develops us not only as pick up artists, but also as humans.

    It seems almost like the women in our lives are gauges for us to measure our progress. Ten years ago I could not say hello to a woman. Literally. Five years ago, I managed to convince a girl for the first time to be my girlfriend, and it took years. Last week, I had sex with a woman I've hung out with 3 times. But is this progress? In a sense. I'm not afraid to talk to or touch them anymore. By overcoming that, I've allowed myself to dig deeper in to a much, much more serious issue.

    Like an onion, each time we peel through a layer of our psyche, we find underneath it another one. I'd go so far as to say the each successive "level" is a more difficult challenge, and a much more primal level than the last. It can be _extremely_ overwhelming. But we have tools to cope, deal, and heal with it all.

    I'd be interested in hearing whatever personal journeys you've all experienced along this path; what you've uncovered or discovered about yourself and what impact it's had not only on your performance gaming but also in your life. And what you did to progress, if it's relevant.

  • #2
    When I first became interested in this, I was enticed by promises of a lifestyle where I can pick up any hot chick at any time. While this is not feasible in reality, pickup has changed me profoundly more than anything else in my life. It's not only about getting pussy, it's about becoming a better man. It's about discovering layers of our beings that most people don't even know they exist.

    One thing I've found is that it's impossible to quit this lifestyle because it's extremely addictive. You can't quit because pickup gets under your skin and integrates with your personality in such a manner it's simply impossible to throw away everything you've learned. You can't unlearn the truth that once set you free from all the bullshit that society sells you all the time. Besides, there is nothing to go back to. Even if I said this very moment "Ok, I'm done with pickup and from now on I'll just be a normal guy", I'd still find myself approaching random women all the time. This is my life. Everything else is secondary.

    While I haven't found any one woman I could love, I managed to fall in love with loving women. I've been seduced by seduction.

    There were some negative side effects, such as becoming cynical and realizing that all women are basically whores and that mother nature really is merciless, but this may not be such a bad realization after all.

    Progress has been awesome... while my laycount isn't as high as I'd hoped it would be (I hope to correct that as soon as I move out of this sexless shithole next year), if someone had told me only 3 years ago that someday I'd be fucking 4-5 chicks in a month like I did a while ago, I probably would've called them a damn liar.

    Oh well, I've started rambling, time to go to bed...


    • #3
      Why do pick up? Ok, I'll tell you:

      Because you either control your sex life, or it controls you.

      Most AFCs end up with a woman NOT because they CHOSE her, but because she was the only game in town. She was the one who said "yes", and that was such a rare occurance, that they thanked their lucky stars, put a ring on her finger, and didn't stare a gift pussy in the mouth.

      When things go to shit, they don't wake up and say, "Well, why am I putting up with this horrible, screaming bitch when I can replace her within a week?" because they are terrified of losing access to that pussy and figure that anything they are likely to get will only be WORSE.

      If a man cannot get a handle on dealing with women, he is doomed to be used and abused. Developing a sense of abundance, learning how to screen women, learning to ACCEPT women as they are, and not as you want them to be, being unreactive, all these aspects of pickup EMPOWER men.

      So for me, pickup is not about getting lots of pussy, it's about being a man who controls and directs his sexual energy positively, and doesn't let a woman use it for her benefit and not his.


      • #4
        Great thread Grumbles. I've found in my own life that pickup does take on new meaning the longer I stay with it. New women, new challenges, new realizations about myself and how I fit into the larger patchwork of humanity.

        I would just add that at this point I'm taking the principles of seduction I've learned over the years and have begun applying them to all sorts of relationships. My family, co-workers and boss, men and women alike, straight and gay. Its far from a new idea, I realize. That said, I've found it to be the best way to reconcile the differences between the way I will interact with a women I want to sleep with and the rest of the people that come into my life.