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Online: Reverse #close. The Next Step?

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  • Online: Reverse #close. The Next Step?

    I was opened by a standout hottie on POF 2 days ago. 19 yr old girl who lives some 40 minutes away, she looked gorgeous in all her 4 pics with that young exuberant glow. You know, not like sexy hot, but cute hot.

    Anyway, she sends me a message "Hi there Your skydiving picture is fantastic. I'm HB"

    I got the message on my phone but waited til later to respond on my computer, and when I saw she was online I chatted her instead. The chat went quite well, I had some good push/pull going, complimented her but not supplicatively and had her qualifying as well.

    Somewhere in the middle of this, (still pretty early on actually) she asked me a question and I mentioned to her that I was installing software on my computer (true) and needed to restart, and suggested I call her instead. However, she said it was a bad time and that tomorrow would be better. So I said I would stay on for 5 more minutes then and answer her question.

    Well I ended up staying on for 12 more minutes and we made a real connection about playing music and it was going quite well. So I figured I would end the convo there.

    So I said "Ok I really gotta get going now! My computer keeps telling me to shut down. Here is my number, if you wanna talk more in the next 20 minutes or so or just give me a text tomorrow. #. Talk to you soon!"

    Then I logged out, without waiting for her reply. I haven't heard from her at all yesterday. Now I'm questioning whether she will contact me on the phone, even though the chat went quite well and she was the one who opened me.

    If I don't hear from her, what would you guys suggest the next move I take be? Wait a few days and reopen? Not wait at all?

    Advice appreciated. If you need more details just ask!

    EDIT: This is the first time I've use this technique so I'm not quite sure what to expect.
    Last edited by Jazzmaster; 10-13-2011, 05:44 PM. Reason: No Good Reason

  • #2
    "Ok I really gotta get going now! My computer keeps telling me to shut down. Here is my number, if you wanna talk more in the next 20 minutes or so or just give me a text tomorrow. #. Talk to you soon!"
    If you want to talk more in the next 20 minutes txt me tomorrow?

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Solus View Post
      If you want to talk more in the next 20 minutes txt me tomorrow?
      No. "Here's my number if you wanna talk more in the next 20 minutes or so. Or just txt me tomorrow."

      I don't know exactly how I worded it. I didn't copy the chat log.

      Comment


      • #4
        She is pretty unlikely to text you. She is a Hot Babe, and HB rule #27 is "Don't call/text guys, let them call/text you".


        OK, so how do you get her to text you without seeming like you are chasing?

        Answer:If you had her number, Send a text to her "by mistake". So, if her name is Jill, send a text "Hey Joe, got ur msg...I'm down for the kegger next week. wil brng ice."

        Change Joe to Steve if her name is Sally or something so you have plausible deniability. "Sry I hit the wrong contact"

        Since you apparently didn't get her number, you're just gonna have to re-open her online. I'd send "Hey, you ready to go skydiving? :P" and leave it at that.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by JetSetJim View Post
          She is pretty unlikely to text you. She is a Hot Babe, and HB rule #27 is "Don't call/text guys, let them call/text you".


          OK, so how do you get her to text you without seeming like you are chasing?

          Answer:If you had her number, Send a text to her "by mistake". So, if her name is Jill, send a text "Hey Joe, got ur msg...I'm down for the kegger next week. wil brng ice."

          Change Joe to Steve if her name is Sally or something so you have plausible deniability. "Sry I hit the wrong contact"

          Since you apparently didn't get her number, you're just gonna have to re-open her online. I'd send "Hey, you ready to go skydiving? :P" and leave it at that.
          Do you usually do this everytime you get an online chick's number?

          Comment


          • #6
            No, it's something to save for hotter chicks when you get that gut feeling they are going to set themselves up as the prize and make you chase them.

            Comment


            • #7
              Thanks JSJ. I figured I would have to reopen her. Just wasn't sure how long I should wait. I'm going to log on in a litte bit and just do it then. I know it's only like 2 days, but after all, she did open me.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Jazzmaster View Post
                I was opened by a standout hottie on POF 2 days ago. 19 yr old girl who lives some 40 minutes away, she looked gorgeous in all her 4 pics with that young exuberant glow. You know, not like sexy hot, but cute hot.

                Anyway, she sends me a message "Hi there Your skydiving picture is fantastic. I'm HB"

                I got the message on my phone but waited til later to respond on my computer, and when I saw she was online I chatted her instead. The chat went quite well, I had some good push/pull going, complimented her but not supplicatively and had her qualifying as well.

                Somewhere in the middle of this, (still pretty early on actually) she asked me a question and I mentioned to her that I was installing software on my computer (true) and needed to restart, and suggested I call her instead. However, she said it was a bad time and that tomorrow would be better. So I said I would stay on for 5 more minutes then and answer her question.
                This is where I feel you slipped. This is a compliance test on her part and you complied.

                This is something our lovely lady posters will never consciously understand, and what the 19 year old hottie doesn't understand, but when the feminine partner can make the masculine partner comply , before she has given up the pussy,the sexual relationship is pretty much over before it starts.

                Why do I say this? Because this young woman can get pretty much any man she wants to do whatever she says, which sub communicates that he wants that pussy and will do whatever it takes to get it, which turns her off. She doesn't need you because every single guy she encounters will ask how high when she says jump, and she's screening them all out. It's not fair and it's not logical, but it's a fact.

                Well I ended up staying on for 12 more minutes and we made a real connection about playing music and it was going quite well. So I figured I would end the convo there.
                Frame is, she's the more valuable person in the relationship. Why? Because you have sub communicated that her time is more valuable than yours.

                You: I have to go in 5 minutes
                She: I am really enjoying this chat!
                Result: you stay on past the five minute frame you've already set

                Who is the leader in the interaction, do you think?

                I am not condescending to you... I am trying to make it very plain what happened here, as I see it. There are still experienced men going around believing that you should "change up your game" when dealing with SHB's. Ask the men who actually fuck SHBs on the regular if they agree with that mindset or not.

                So I said "Ok I really gotta get going now! My computer keeps telling me to shut down. Here is my number, if you wanna talk more in the next 20 minutes or so or just give me a text tomorrow. #. Talk to you soon!"
                It's a very subtle point here, but explaining that your computer demand you do something is actually qualifying. You've changed what you wanted to do first because she told you to and then because your computer told you do. Have the mindset that you direct yourself and no one else does. You're allowed to ignore both her and the computer, if you want to.

                Much better, "hey, great talking to you, I've got to go. Here's my number: xxx xxx xxxx". Say more with less, sub communicate that you expect her to put in some effort and that you're indifferent to the outcome.

                Then I logged out, without waiting for her reply. I haven't heard from her at all yesterday. Now I'm questioning whether she will contact me on the phone, even though the chat went quite well and she was the one who opened me.

                If I don't hear from her, what would you guys suggest the next move I take be? Wait a few days and reopen? Not wait at all?

                Advice appreciated. If you need more details just ask!

                EDIT: This is the first time I've use this technique so I'm not quite sure what to expect.
                I think you did fairly well. I'm not clear if you have her number. If I had her number I would call her and invite her along to something I was already doing that was fun. I would not ask her how her day went or try to get her opinion about what she likes to do for fun. If I am already doing it, it must be fun, right? It could be wine and cheese at home, or a concert, or going for a walk, or whatever the fuck I feel like doing with or without her. It would be a friendly invite and I would be carefree about it - delighted if she were to come, but not unhappy at all if she chooses not to. Just remember, you don't need her, even if you do like her very much.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by JWS View Post
                  This is where I feel you slipped. This is a compliance test on her part and you complied.
                  Yeah, when it happened, I felt like I lost a bit there. I thought I had the perfect hook, but it didn't pan out. Maybe it was just too early in the interaction to ask for a number. However, I figured it wouldn't be an issue since she opened me.

                  Frame is, she's the more valuable person in the relationship. Why? Because you have sub communicated that her time is more valuable than yours.

                  You: I have to go in 5 minutes
                  She: I am really enjoying this chat!
                  Result: you stay on past the five minute frame you've already set

                  Who is the leader in the interaction, do you think?

                  I am not condescending to you... I am trying to make it very plain what happened here, as I see it. There are still experienced men going around believing that you should "change up your game" when dealing with SHB's. Ask the men who actually fuck SHBs on the regular if they agree with that mindset or not.
                  I see exactly what you're saying, and I realized it when it was happening even. However, it was more like

                  Me: Ok I'll stick around for 5 more minutes or so but then I gotta jet.
                  Her: Ok
                  Result: We start talking about playing music and both make points which are deeply meaningful to each other. I realize we've been talking 12 minutes and I don't want to go back on what I said so I peace out.

                  The point where I suggested calling her and she said "not now, tomorrow would be better" was actually the only point in the interaction where she led.

                  It's a very subtle point here, but explaining that your computer demand you do something is actually qualifying. You've changed what you wanted to do first because she told you to and then because your computer told you do. Have the mindset that you direct yourself and no one else does. You're allowed to ignore both her and the computer, if you want to.

                  Much better, "hey, great talking to you, I've got to go. Here's my number: xxx xxx xxxx". Say more with less, sub communicate that you expect her to put in some effort and that you're indifferent to the outcome.
                  I'm kind of unsure what you mean about qualifying. So the fact that I needed to log off because I was in the middle of a software update is qualifying me to her because I stayed on? It's a bit unclear to me, but then it may have all looked like a lie to her just to get her number.

                  More with less. You're right on there. I really shouldn't have explained myself.


                  I think you did fairly well. I'm not clear if you have her number. If I had her number I would call her and invite her along to something I was already doing that was fun. I would not ask her how her day went or try to get her opinion about what she likes to do for fun. If I am already doing it, it must be fun, right? It could be wine and cheese at home, or a concert, or going for a walk, or whatever the fuck I feel like doing with or without her. It would be a friendly invite and I would be carefree about it - delighted if she were to come, but not unhappy at all if she chooses not to. Just remember, you don't need her, even if you do like her very much.
                  I don't have her number. I logged out before she had a chance to say anything in return. I figured after the whole "5 more minutes" thing I needed to show my OI in a dominant way. What better than not giving a fuck what she says after I end it? IDK, maybe a bad move.

                  Anyway, I took JSJ's advice and sent her that message last night at midnight. She responded at 1am, as I was about to hit the hay so I waited to look till this morning. I guess I've got to rebuild now, and just get to the meet. Then I'll worry about the number.

                  Comment

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