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  • The Most Efficient Method For Setting Up A Date

    1. Get her number.

    2. Ping her a few times over text so she remembers who you are.

    3. Text her "Whats your schedule look like this week?". It saves you about 3 or 4 texts of trying to coordinate and preempts her from saying no I can't make it that night.

    4. Once you get the date that works best for both of you, text this exact phrase "Why don't you meet me for a coffee/drink at x bar at x time on x day?". It's assertive without being commanding. This coffee shop/bar should be no more than a 5 minute walk from your place. This makes it easy to bring her back to your place and if you get flaked on without a notifying text it saves you from going across town for nothing. Aim to keep it a weeknight as she'll have less things going on so you're less likely to get flaked on. If she starts to give you shit about the venue or she's evasive about confirming, then she's probably a timewaster so get ready to delete that contact info. If she flakes on the first date delete contact info. If she reschedules the first date she's probably a timewaster as well but I will give her the benefit of the doubt on that one, 1 reschedule only though, if she tries to reschedule twice, delete contact info.

    5. Vibe with her on the date for anywhere from 20 minutes to 5 hours depending on how dtf she seems and how much fun you're having, then invite her back to your place. Always invite her back no matter how the date went, its good practice and you'll be surprised that even mediocre/bad dates will end with her coming back.

    6. Once you get back to your place, escalate to sex, the first date is your best bet to have sex, I've fucked 76% of women on my list on the first date. LMR may actually take 6 hours, its just a question of getting her horny enough. Escalate aggressively but any time she tells you no or stop, you stop, never use force of any kind. If you try and touch her pussy and she moves your hand away, go back to making out, then you go back to making out and try and rub her pussy 5 minutes later, wash rinse repeat until sex or she goes home.

    7. If she won't fuck you on the first date, schedule dates 2 and if necessary back at your place and escalate again. Use the same protocol of escalating to sex on date 2 or 3. I've fucked 98.6% of the women on my list between the 1st and 3rd date. If she hasn't fucked you by date 3 its probably never going to happen so get ready to delete that contact info.

  • #2
    Originally posted by RevLifestyleDesign View Post
    3. Text her "Whats your schedule look like this week?". It saves you about 3 or 4 texts of trying to coordinate and preempts her from saying no I can't make it that night.
    You shouldn't be preempting her from saying no. If she says no, it means she's not interested in you. If she's not interested, why waste your time? Before you even take her phone number (assuming you even have to do that), you should make sure she is sending you non-verbal signals of interest. If she is, there is no reason to corner her and make her uncomfortable by asking her schedule and then giving her no room to move when pitching the date. If you must resort to intellectually and logistically paralyzing her like this you've already lost. None of this is necessary if the girl actually likes you (which is the only thing that matters).

    This coffee shop/bar should be no more than a 5 minute walk from your place. This makes it easy to bring her back to your place and if you get flaked on without a notifying text it saves you from going across town for nothing.
    If you established that she is interested in, and attracted to, you from the get-go, her flaking is not likely. If you're chasing her instead of her chasing you, you're at a disadvantage.

    Aim to keep it a weeknight as she'll have less things going on so you're less likely to get flaked on.
    See above.

    6. Once you get back to your place, escalate to sex, the first date is your best bet to have sex, I've fucked 76% of women on my list on the first date. LMR may actually take 6 hours,
    In my experience, there is no LMR at all if she is attracted to you and doing the chasing. But if you're the one submitting an application and putting her in the dominant position of decider, you'll get LMR. But 6 hours???????? Then you're REALLY doing something wrong, unless she's a prude, in which case, I'd next her immediately.

    Escalate aggressively
    Why not see if she's in the mood first?

    but any time she tells you no or stop, you stop, never use force of any kind. If you try and touch her pussy and she moves your hand away, go back to making out, then you go back to making out and try and rub her pussy 5 minutes later, wash rinse repeat until sex or she goes home.
    If at any time, a girl stops me, I freeze her out entirely and go check my email or something. When she comes to me (and she will), puts her arms around me, and askes, "Are you mad at me?," that is when I continue. I think you're being too aggressive here, which gives her all the power of decision. Not good.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by RevLifestyleDesign View Post
      3. Text her "Whats your schedule look like this week?". It saves you about 3 or 4 texts of trying to coordinate and preempts her from saying no I can't make it that night.
      What NWP said. This phrase is my go-to move when I know the logistics are very complicated, and I hate it. Girls are fucking dumb. They don't know what their schedule looks like. And even if they do, they change it all the time - as they change their mind all the time about everything. Finally, if she really likes you she's going to be scared of giving you a schedule that doesn't suit yours - she'd rather you give her options so SHE can fit in YOUR schedule.

      4.

      5.

      6.

      7.
      Not sure how all this is useful? You're basically saying: meet up, vibe, isolate, escalate. It's decent advice but hardly ground-breaking stuff...

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by RevLifestyleDesign View Post

        7. If she won't fuck you on the first date, schedule dates 2 and if necessary back at your place and escalate again
        Having been on hundreds of 1st dates, i'll tell you the chances of you seeing a girl who declined to fuck you on the 1st date after you escalated hard,
        are VERY VERY slim indeed.

        You either escalate hard and burn all your bridges on the 1st date.

        Or you play a strategic 1st date and build up momentum through 2nd or 3rd date.

        Escalation on dates is like a firework that has been lit, you can't go back and get another chance at lighting it again.

        Peace

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by RevLifestyleDesign View Post
          the first date is your best bet to have sex, I've fucked 76% of women on my list on the first date. LMR may actually take 6 hours, its just a question of getting her horny enough.
          ...and that's exactly why I don't even try to have sex on the first date. 6 hours is way too long in my view, espeically if it's 6 hours of fighting ASD and LMR. Yuck, no thanks. Almost all my lays these days are under 3 hours grand total meet-to-lay. The last one I had was 1.5. hours. This is why I prefer a very fast (less than 60 minutes) very inexpensive (zero to 15 dollars max) first date, get the hell out of there, then escalate to sex hard on the second date. Under that system, LMR is extremely rare. (ASD isn't rare, you next those chicks, but LMR is.)

          I'm not saying you shouldn't fuck chicks on first dates. Many guys here do that successfully. I'm just saying I like my system better.

          Once you get the date that works best for both of you, text this exact phrase "Why don't you meet me for a coffee/drink at x bar at x time on x day?". It's assertive without being commanding. This coffee shop/bar should be no more than a 5 minute walk from your place. This makes it easy to bring her back to your place and if you get flaked on without a notifying text it saves you from going across town for nothing.
          Great advice. I like it.

          Aim to keep it a weeknight as she'll have less things going on so you're less likely to get flaked on.
          100% agree. I do the same. I never have first or second dates on weekends if I can help it.

          If she starts to give you shit about the venue or she's evasive about confirming, then she's probably a timewaster so get ready to delete that contact info. If she flakes on the first date delete contact info. If she reschedules the first date she's probably a timewaster as well but I will give her the benefit of the doubt on that one, 1 reschedule only though, if she tries to reschedule twice, delete contact info.
          Again I completely agree. Great frame.

          If she won't fuck you on the first date, schedule dates 2 and if necessary back at your place and escalate again. Use the same protocol of escalating to sex on date 2 or 3.
          Regardless of if it's a first or second date or whatever, my deal is that I will only schedule another date if something sexual happened on this date that didn't happen on a prior date. I escaclate to sex on the second date, so if on the second date I get no sex but I do suck her tits or get a blowjob, I'll schedule another date. If I get nothing despite my efforts, see ya Darlin'! She's nexted forever and I'm on to the next gal on the list. There must be clear forward sexual progression for me to continue to schedule new dates with a woman pre-lay, otherwise she's not worth my time.

          If she hasn't fucked you by date 3 its probably never going to happen so get ready to delete that contact info.
          Yes. In general that's accurate and I agree with you, but if there is clear sexual progression (as described above) there are sometimes exceptions to the rule. These days I don't fuck anyone past the 3rd date but historically it has happened.

          Welcome to the forums!
          How to have 3 hour meet-to-lays and nonmonogamous relationships with any type of woman:
          The Blackdragon Blog

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by RevLifestyleDesign View Post
            2. Ping her a few times over text so she remembers who you are.
            How exactly do you "ping"?

            If you're doing cold-approach daygame, especially street, you probably talked to the girl for less than 5 minutes, and don't really know her at all. What do you write in the texts? How often do you send them? When do you proceed to the next, "scheduling" step?

            I usually send one text that's basically a playful "nice too meet you". Lots of girls drop out at that stage, never responding to this or any subsequent text. If she does respond, I bring up scheduling immediately. This is partly due to observing that if you don't schedule within the next 5 days, your odds of actually getting the day2 decrease dramatically.

            In general, those interactions fizzle out very quickly. Even if she shows interest on the approach, a text one hour later would already be noticeably colder, and in 2-3 days I'm generally either set up with a date, or she's hardly responding.

            Always invite her back no matter how the date went, its good practice and you'll be surprised that even mediocre/bad dates will end with her coming back.
            Definitely.

            Originally posted by cobi View Post
            Having been on hundreds of 1st dates, i'll tell you the chances of you seeing a girl who declined to fuck you on the 1st date after you escalated hard,
            are VERY VERY slim indeed.

            You either escalate hard and burn all your bridges on the 1st date.

            Or you play a strategic 1st date and build up momentum through 2nd or 3rd date.

            Escalation on dates is like a firework that has been lit, you can't go back and get another chance at lighting it again.
            Absolutely, was actually going to post that myself before I saw it was already posted.

            Originally posted by NWP View Post
            You shouldn't be preempting her from saying no. If she says no, it means she's not interested in you. If she's not interested, why waste your time? Before you even take her phone number (assuming you even have to do that), you should make sure she is sending you non-verbal signals of interest. If she is, there is no reason to corner her and make her uncomfortable by asking her schedule and then giving her no room to move when pitching the date. If you must resort to intellectually and logistically paralyzing her like this you've already lost. None of this is necessary if the girl actually likes you (which is the only thing that matters).

            [...]

            If you established that she is interested in, and attracted to, you from the get-go, her flaking is not likely. If you're chasing her instead of her chasing you, you're at a disadvantage.

            [...]

            In my experience, there is no LMR at all if she is attracted to you and doing the chasing.
            NWP, this is spot on.

            I'm somewhat conflicted, because an unattractive newbie probably can't get anything without chasing. However, looking back, as someone who was an extreme case of unattractive newbie and did more than my share of chasing, I can't say it helped me much. I don't remember laying, or getting much action, with any girl I chased at all.

            The funny thing is that OP arrived at the exact same conclusions as I did. This thread is really about chasing in the most efficient way, avoiding timesinks like scheduling debates, repeated rescheduling, costly flaking dates, etc.

            It could be renamed "efficient chasing". Except that's an oxymoron, as it seems that chasing is not effective.

            Some of this advice, especially about handling flakes, is actually solid and can save newbies tons of time. But as you point out, there's also clever tricks that don't really work and mostly show that you are failing to recognize her lack of interest.

            For instance, I arrived at the exact same "what's your schedule like" line to preempt scheduling debates, since superficially it seemed that once I get into a scheduling debate, my chances of getting the date are low. Asking her for her schedule is a very sensible, male-logic solution, that gets you nowhere if you have to resort to it, because you're taking a girl who is either disinterested or a timewaster, and pressing her to a wall of words.

            BD's advice about sexual progression, and his entire reply, are also great. This thread is really good, despite certain weaknesses in the post.

            Comment


            • #7
              If she is, there is no reason to corner her and make her uncomfortable by asking her schedule and then giving her no room to move when pitching the date. If you must resort to intellectually and logistically paralyzing her like this you've already lost. None of this is necessary if the girl actually likes you (which is the only thing that matters).
              I think if you lightheartedly ask them what their schedule is like, it's not a big deal. I do it all the time because I have anywhere between 5-7 girls I am seeing. If a new girl is coming in who I haven't fucked/met before, and I am planning my week out with women, it's good to know who is available when. If I booked everything last minute it would be likely conflict with the other things I am doing in life (aside from getting laid).

              Comment


              • #8
                'Scheduling' is bad!
                Text her next time you go out, asking if she is going out too, and wing it from there!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by RevLifestyleDesign View Post
                  1. Get her number.
                  Disagree. Women give out their number like clowns giving out candy at the local fair. When she takes MY number, then I know she is really interested.

                  I'm not dogmatic about it; if she insists I take her number out of "policy", I take it, and text her immediately, "Hey Lisa it's Luke from the art opening. Keep in touch". Then I COMPLETELY forget about her unless and until she responds.

                  2. Ping her a few times over text so she remembers who you are.
                  Lame. She knows who I am. If my masculine presence, me standing there with my handsome mug and sexy voice and my big fat balls between my legs didn't make an impression on her, how the fuck is a lame "ping" from a text going to make an impression?

                  Frame is very bad. She should be trying to get me to remember her, not the other way around.

                  3. Text her "Whats your schedule look like this week?". It saves you about 3 or 4 texts of trying to coordinate and preempts her from saying no I can't make it that night.
                  Better: once it's established that she wants to see you again, and it should be from the time you first talk to her, otherwise her number wasn't a "close" it was confetti offer her two choices, ie I might have some time Wednesday or Thursday, and wait for her response.

                  4. Once you get the date that works best for both of you, text this exact phrase "Why don't you meet me for a coffee/drink at x bar at x time on x day?". It's assertive without being commanding.
                  It's too weak for my tastes. Better: Let's meet at x bar at x time of day.

                  This coffee shop/bar should be no more than a 5 minute walk from your place. This makes it easy to bring her back to your place and if you get flaked on without a notifying text it saves you from going across town for nothing. Aim to keep it a weeknight as she'll have less things going on so you're less likely to get flaked on.
                  Your whole frame is weak. How about, do it on a night where ** I ** have lots of things going on so I don't really care if I get flaked on? She's not the prize, I am.

                  If she starts to give you shit about the venue or she's evasive about confirming, then she's probably a timewaster so get ready to delete that contact info. If she flakes on the first date delete contact info. If she reschedules the first date she's probably a timewaster as well but I will give her the benefit of the doubt on that one, 1 reschedule only though, if she tries to reschedule twice, delete contact info.
                  Rescheduling is fine. You're making too much of a big deal about it, placing too much importance on the outcome

                  5. Vibe with her on the date for anywhere from 20 minutes to 5 hours depending on how dtf she seems and how much fun you're having, then invite her back to your place. Always invite her back no matter how the date went, its good practice and you'll be surprised that even mediocre/bad dates will end with her coming back.
                  I don't agree. You should vibe with her and invite her back depending on how DTF YOU are and how much fun YOU'RE having.

                  6. Once you get back to your place, escalate to sex, the first date is your best bet to have sex, I've fucked 76% of women on my list on the first date. LMR may actually take 6 hours, its just a question of getting her horny enough. Escalate aggressively but any time she tells you no or stop, you stop, never use force of any kind. If you try and touch her pussy and she moves your hand away, go back to making out, then you go back to making out and try and rub her pussy 5 minutes later, wash rinse repeat until sex or she goes home.
                  If "LMR" is taking up to 6 hours, you are doing something drastically wrong and/or wasting your time with someone who isn't into you or into sex with men in general.

                  Again this smells too much like supplication, like she's being generous and doing you a favour by "giving it up" to you.

                  Women love sex more than men do, with the right guy(s) of course. Read everything by NWP if you still don't understand what you're doing wrong here.

                  7. If she won't fuck you on the first date, schedule dates 2 and if necessary back at your place and escalate again. Use the same protocol of escalating to sex on date 2 or 3. I've fucked 98.6% of the women on my list between the 1st and 3rd date. If she hasn't fucked you by date 3 its probably never going to happen so get ready to delete that contact info.
                  Why would I reschedule with a woman who isn't into me? I might let HER reschedule something, but it's a rare day in hell when I've literally got nothing better to do with my time than entertain that nonsense.

                  If it's so rare to get a woman back to your place then I understand. You need to get to a level where you can end a date in 30 minutes or less because the sexual chemistry just isn't there for either you or her or both of you, and head back out the door and go talk to a different woman.

                  You are placing way too much concern on whether or not it works out with a particular woman. I DO believe in "love at first sight" and I no longer believe I need to "do anything" to get a woman sexually aroused with me, including all these hoops you suggest we jump through in order to get her to become sexually generous with us.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by ijjjji View Post
                    'Scheduling' is bad!
                    Text her next time you go out, asking if she is going out too, and wing it from there!

                    Yes, bingo!

                    Note how ijjji's "system" takes about 3.5 SECONDS of your time. No planning, no scheduling, no nothing!

                    Get out there and meet people and socialise. Women just want to bang. It is NOT that complicated. If you are out there putting yourself in front of women on a consistent basis, warm approaching, cold approaching, being bold, non-needy, and not supplicating, you WILL have opportunities for sex. If not, there is something wrong with your beliefs, your approach, or your appearance... probably all three!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by ijjjji View Post
                      'Scheduling' is bad!
                      Text her next time you go out, asking if she is going out too, and wing it from there!
                      I agree but that isn't possible on a consistent, reliable, weekly basis, unless you're an extremely extroverted outgoing guy, and many of us (including me) are not.

                      Originally posted by JWS View Post

                      4. Once you get the date that works best for both of you, text this exact phrase "Why don't you meet me for a coffee/drink at x bar at x time on x day?". It's assertive without being commanding.

                      It's too weak for my tastes. Better: Let's meet at x bar at x time of day.
                      Actually that's a good point. That's how I word it also.

                      This coffee shop/bar should be no more than a 5 minute walk from your place. This makes it easy to bring her back to your place and if you get flaked on without a notifying text it saves you from going across town for nothing. Aim to keep it a weeknight as she'll have less things going on so you're less likely to get flaked on.

                      Your whole frame is weak. How about, do it on a night where ** I ** have lots of things going on so I don't really care if I get flaked on? She's not the prize, I am.
                      Having that frame is good, but assuming your time is valuable, you don't want a bunch of dates in your schedule that flake, right? Doing things necessary to prevent or reduce flaking is in no way indicative of a weak frame. I agree his frame is shaky in the initial pieces of his advice, but here it looks good to me.

                      You might be going out on that date to enjoy yourself, but I'm going out on that date to get laid. If I knew in advance that on the date I'd have a really fun time but would not get to sex from her ever, I'd cancel the date and do something else with my time. Again we're talking about an extrovert/introvert or TotH/PoS difference in priories here.

                      Rescheduling is fine. You're making too much of a big deal about it, placing too much importance on the outcome
                      Yes it is fine, but he's saying there's a limit to it, and I agree.
                      How to have 3 hour meet-to-lays and nonmonogamous relationships with any type of woman:
                      The Blackdragon Blog

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        BD - I really am more of a pleasure of sex guy than a thrill of the hunt guy, believe it or not. And I agree with you - wasting time is not good for a man, neither is enduring a lot of flakes. It's just that I believe that flakes are reduced better by:

                        - being outcome independent
                        - finding ways to have a great time and meet new women no matter what any one woman decides
                        - acting spontaneous and carefree

                        the reason is, all those things take all the pressure off the woman. My belief, now backed up by direct experience, is that woman areautomatically attracted to me and RARELY flake, and so there is nothing for me to worry about.

                        It is counterintuitive - scheduling dates is different than business or almost every other part of life. Watch this Jedi mind trick:

                        Masculine = Freedom

                        Feminine = indecisiveness, flakiness

                        THEREFORE.... Give women the FREEDOM to flake and they will love you for it and be drawn to you. Really!

                        I had a woman flake on me just the other night. Meanwhile I met several new women including the one from my email thread in online. I didn't even notice until she apologized profusely on my Facebook chat window the next day. Now she feels like she should have come to the event, NOT because I set a rigid date and then gave her shit for "flaking". Sure I could next her and delete her, but since I literally didn't notice and nothing bad happened to me, why bother? The way to make her know she's missing out is to be happy and carefree, not to worry about scheduling her.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          You know you never really said if this was for day game or night game. I only go for numbers on day game since I have no logistics for the lay. If I'm out at night I'm trying to get a SNL. Rarely will I take a number at a club or a bar.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            If people have good methods for selecting the sluts from the timewasters and to get laid quicky from collecting phone numbers, Id like to hear more about that. I get most of the numbers I ask for (obviously not all are interested) so this could be of some use.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              The problem with chasing is that it is synonymous with pedestaling.

                              The drug addict has no power. The drug dealer does.
                              The stalker has no power. The one being stalked does.

                              He who cares the least is the one in control. The giver is powerful. The receiver is not. That's why it's better to give than to receive.

                              The more you chase a woman, the more you're giving her the power to decide. After all, what is chasing? It's submitting an application. Since you're not going to rape her, chasing, no matter how "aggressive," is submission. This puts her in the dominant position of decider, and therefore, the pedestal. The more you chase, the weaker you become.

                              On the other hand, if she chases you, you're the dominant one. Dominance IS masculinity and masculinity is what attracts the opposite polarity. As the one being chased, you are being pedestaled. As such, you are in the power position to accept or reject. For a woman, this is HOT! There is no bigger DHV than this! Your value couldn't be higher if you are in fact the prize.

                              And this translates into the bedroom as well: In bed, you are giving and she is receiving. The thing that turns you on in bed (if you're anything like me) is her pedestaling you during sex by moaning, receiving, and making you the prize. You, on the other hand, are giving, which is it's own reward, because her acknowledging you as the prize in bed is what ultimately gives you your orgasm.

                              But if you are chasing her, you see her as the prize, and then when it comes time for sex, you expect her to pedestal you and moan for you? No.

                              If she is the prize, that means she is generous, and that generosity (and you needing to be grateful) will be felt by you:

                              Every time she nags you.
                              Every time she withholds sex from you unless you stop watching the football game and take out the garbage.
                              Every time she tries to control you or betaize you.
                              Every time she is a bitch!

                              In this scenario, you NEVER had the power. You were always a chasing lapdog blowing up her ego. When she moans for you, she is faking, because you submitted from the beginning. She's "giving" all the time, but you expect her to "receive" in bed? No. She'll just nag you and will always make you remember who is generous to whom, until a guy like me comes along whom she will receive with (behind the beta male's back). He knew her as the nagging girlfriend while I know her as the enthusiastic free spirit.

                              It's funny how most guys think chasing is what aggressive alphas are supposed to do. This is why those macho men end up with cunts who kick their teeth in in Family Court, while the real seducers enjoy the spoils when, from the perspective of the outside world, they haven't lifted a finger to do anything!

                              It's like the Chinese Zen master who walks into a village, talks to a few people by the well, and disappears forever. He has changed the entire cultural configuration of the village in just a few minutes and no one even knows who he is.

                              The problem is that most men want the glory and recognition because they have a hero complex, which makes her the damsel in distress. This is worse than chivalry. It's a spoiled ego. Get rid of it.

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