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Picking up women vs meeting women

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  • Picking up women vs meeting women

    Very important distinction.

    We all know what pick-up is, a bold attempt to push things into a romantic direction.
    It involves all the tips and techniques we’ve been reading about every since mystery put his goggles on.

    But meeting women is entirely different. More subtle, more laid back and relies more on sub communications....etc

    If you ever heard a guy is “not socially calibrated”. It simply means he doesn’t know the difference between the two modes, and more importantly doesn’t know when to use them.


    A week ago I was invited to a party by a very close friend. All of his friends and extended social network were there, and I had never met any of them.

    A few of the girls there were given me blatant IOI so it would’ve been the easy option to dive in there and cause havoc.
    But that would’ve caused embarrassment to my friend and would’ve presented me and him in a very bad light to his guests.

    It was time to switch to “meeting” women mode.

    Just simply introduce yourself, keep solid eye contact and a friendly smile and genuinely be interested in them; without coming across as a try hard. Then move on and mingle while making mental notes about which leads appeared promising.

    It’s the difference between hunting with a spear, chasing your prey down, and casting a spider’s net and waiting for them to fall in.

    Both are fine, but both are suitable only in certain circumstances.

    Sometimes subtlety, social intelligence and civil decorum are actually higher up the agenda than getting your dick wet fast.
    Well, for me anyway.

    Hope that was useful.



    Peace

  • #2
    Very much agree with all this, keep the aggressive game for cold approach where there are no social ramifications. For social circle being cool and charming is enough. The interested girls will make themselves known or I've had friends girlfriends just set me up with their friends who like casual sex. Definitely favor the longer game approach on social/extended social circle as you know you'll see the girl again so you get a read on her logistics/relationship status/interest level in you in you before you make a move.

    Comment


    • #3
      Cobi, how about you give us a rundown of how your outer game looks like

      1. in social mode

      2. in predator mode

      and a highlight of the specific changes that matter the most in your mind?

      I'd love to hear your perspective on turning "social mode" on and off.

      Nick

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by NiccoloDaVinci View Post
        Cobi, how about you give us a rundown of how your outer game looks like

        1. in social mode

        2. in predator mode

        and a highlight of the specific changes that matter the most in your mind?

        I'd love to hear your perspective on turning "social mode" on and off.

        Nick
        Wow, that's a big question!

        But i'll try to summarize it.

        The weird thing is, i actually use SUBSTANTIALLY less techniques now than i did 10 years ago!
        It's a weird fact of pick-up, that the better you get the more "fat" you trim off your game, till you are left with the absolute bare skeleton of what you find useful.

        Both modes i am almost exactly the same.

        I am a low energy guy, i don't go around making girls laugh and all that. It's all about strong masculine EC, presence, cheeky banter, and non-needy sexual vibe while verbally remaining polite and friendly.



        The huge difference between the 2 modes is when i escalate. In predator mode it's within a few minutes, but in the other mode i chill back and keep my powder dry.

        I just keep a mental note of who appeared keen and pounce at a more opportune moment.

        So it's pulling the trigger now vs marking your target and pulling the trigger later.

        Luckily girls are VERY tuned to guy's sexual vibe, and it doesn't take much to non-verbally convey strong sexual intent to a girl.

        So on the surface you can maintain a superficial level of social cordiality while underneath you both know that given a minute together,
        you will rip each others clothes off instantly!

        It's meta-game that only the really top players use.


        Hope that clarified it.


        Peace

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by cobi View Post
          I just keep a mental note of who appeared keen and pounce at a more opportune moment.
          How do you make that moment happen? Discreet pull windows never seems to happen "by luck".

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Dude909 View Post
            How do you make that moment happen? Discreet pull windows never seems to happen "by luck".
            If it is a party for example, you just keep an eye out where everyone is at all times, and when she slips away for fresh air,
            or to the kitchen to get more drinks, you just follow.

            Quickly swab numbers on the sly, or you slip her your card (i always carry cards) and continue mingling.
            Invite her to (separately) join you in a nearby pub or your car.

            There is also the issue of "safe bodylanguage" which helps you appear like you're not gaming when you are.

            In social settings girls are very sensitive about being seen "getting chatted up" by some random dude.
            So discretion is a MASSIVE part of social game.


            Peace

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by cobi View Post
              ..on the surface you can maintain a superficial level of social cordiality while underneath you both know that given a minute together,
              you will rip each others clothes off instantly!
              In this situation there are two parallel realities coexisting. There is the outer one which is casual and visible to everyone. There is also the highly charged one between you and the woman. In my interactions with her I will flip back and forth between those realities. "How" is dependent on what is happening around us or who else is involved in the conversation. It may be playful. It may be forceful. It may be a few times within the same sentence. I flip back and forth so seamlessly that she gets confused which reality she is operating in. At this point innuendo has exponential effects. If I strongly maintain these two frames for even a short amount of time (minutes), then to quote Mankite, "women...laugh out loud at how I get them to do exactly what they want to do".

              Anyways. Normally one must use strategy and tact to work on isolating a woman. I have found that when the situation above is happening the dynamics of that totally change. What happens within a few minutes (no more than 10) the "casual" reality disrupts us. Maye someone from the party comes over to talk to one of us and we have to be polite, sociable, and hold that frame. more importantly, the other person must hold that frame as well, and that usually involves walking away. do not follow her. At this point what I have found is that either of the two can self-isolate when the casual situation allows, and the other person will follow when their part in the casual frame allows. I have had women isolate themselves for me to seek out. I have isolated myself to have the woman follow me a few minutes later.

              EDIT: "So discretion is a MASSIVE part of social game." yes. it is essential to be 100% discreet about the alternate reality existing.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by cobi View Post
                Luckily girls are VERY tuned to guy's sexual vibe, and it doesn't take much to non-verbally convey strong sexual intent to a girl...on the surface you can maintain a superficial level of social cordiality while underneath you both know that given a minute together, you will rip each others clothes off instantly!
                Peace
                Great post cobi. I've definitely felt what you've described right here. But I've never done it consciously (I don't know HOW it happened). Could you expand a bit?

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Hylas View Post
                  Great post cobi. I've definitely felt what you've described right here. But I've never done it consciously (I don't know HOW it happened). Could you expand a bit?
                  Easiest way to describe it is when your body language and vibe are 100% sexual but verbally you are polite, and even mundane in what you talk about.

                  It doesn't matter, you can talk about the weather and still convey a strong dominant sexual vibe.

                  That translates into an under-current of sexual tension which drives women absolutely crazy, provided some physical chemistry is there.

                  And if she doesn't like you, she will avoid you like the plague and screen herself out.

                  This is all done at a sub-level under all the "normal" social layers.

                  It's almost like a parallel universe where things are getting played out between you and the girl.

                  So in summary you can be subtle and still be sexual, dominant and direct.


                  Peace

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    That sounds awesome Cobi! I really dig that "under the surface" idea...

                    I have always believed that that is why some dudes seem to just attract chicks like flies on shit. My singer, for instance, whether in a band setting or not does this. I've been trying to pinpoint exactly what it is about him that attracts chicks to him like crazy. On the surface level, both of us are good looking, chill dudes....and I do okay with the girls. However, he somehow attracts SMOKING HOT chicks ALL THE TIME with ease....I always ask him, "Dude what the fuck is it about you?" His answer is always, "I think it's just my confidence". He is literally like a magnet. Unfortunately he's in a serious LTR and will be getting married soon, so he doesn't ever act on these things. However, back when he was single, he fucked several girls, several nights per week, had many mLTR's, etc.... He's a complete fucking natural. I've talked about him many times before as "my natural buddy".

                    He obviously "sees" this "under the surface" thing that you are talking about, but I don't think he actually knows what he does.

                    Illuminatus talked about his buddy who he reffered to as "retard wing" who also had this "thing".

                    It's the same thing with Dave Duchovney in Californication. Yes, it's just a TV show...but he apparently has that magnetism about him.

                    Is there away that you could describe in words exactly how you have this underlying "thing about you"?

                    How do you get this "vibe"?

                    Did it come from fucking lots of hot girls?

                    Do you consciously know what it is about you?

                    Would love to hear more. Thanks!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Newman301 View Post
                      That sounds awesome Cobi! I really dig that "under the surface" idea...

                      I have always believed that that is why some dudes seem to just attract chicks like flies on shit. My singer, for instance, whether in a band setting or not does this. I've been trying to pinpoint exactly what it is about him that attracts chicks to him like crazy. On the surface level, both of us are good looking, chill dudes....and I do okay with the girls. However, he somehow attracts SMOKING HOT chicks ALL THE TIME with ease....I always ask him, "Dude what the fuck is it about you?" His answer is always, "I think it's just my confidence". He is literally like a magnet. Unfortunately he's in a serious LTR and will be getting married soon, so he doesn't ever act on these things. However, back when he was single, he fucked several girls, several nights per week, had many mLTR's, etc.... He's a complete fucking natural. I've talked about him many times before as "my natural buddy".

                      He obviously "sees" this "under the surface" thing that you are talking about, but I don't think he actually knows what he does.

                      Illuminatus talked about his buddy who he reffered to as "retard wing" who also had this "thing".

                      It's the same thing with Dave Duchovney in Californication. Yes, it's just a TV show...but he apparently has that magnetism about him.

                      Is there away that you could describe in words exactly how you have this underlying "thing about you"?

                      How do you get this "vibe"?

                      Did it come from fucking lots of hot girls?

                      Do you consciously know what it is about you?

                      Would love to hear more. Thanks!

                      I would love to hear more as well! I'm glad you bought up about this topic, cobi! It is something that I have been wondering about a lot lately but if I post up a thead something about this, people might not understand what I mean to ask. I want to understand the distinguish between picking up and meeting women. I mean, I know the difference when I am in the situation but I can't understand in "vibing" wise...

                      I do both cold approaching and social circle game but I notice, when I am in field, I try to play it safe because I don't know what I'm doing is socially acceptable in the situation... I'm careful not to shoot myself because I need to be congruent with the social scenarios especially in social circle game. I'm trying to figure out how to play in the "system" but have that sexual "vibe" in normal social situations. In other word, I don't want to appear that I am there to "chat up" some girls. I assume you just have the vibe come within you naturally from years of pick up experience... I figure it might be too advanced or unconcious thing that cannot consciously be understood or explained in words.

                      I think Steve Jabba explained about something like this topic in one of his articles on his website---

                      http://www.authenticpua.com/dating-a...sexual-energy/

                      http://www.authenticpua.com/dating-a...sexual-threat/

                      Steve, mind to hop in and explain a little bit more about sexual energy when you are meeting and picking up women?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        This was a great post! I think I'm really only good at the "social"/undercover mode, not the "predator" mode. I'll have to learn "predator" and to know when it's appropriate to drop the mask.

                        I love this undercover kinda game though. When you both know it's on, and everybody else doesn't. So smooth.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          most (all) of the mainstream stuff is 'meeting women' 'picking up women' (dont get rejected is part of this group)

                          there's a 3rd category- GET LAID (aka fuck women) that isn't taught much

                          my opinion

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Good Looking Loser View Post
                            most (all) of the mainstream stuff is 'meeting women' 'picking up women' (dont get rejected is part of this group)

                            there's a 3rd category- GET LAID (aka fuck women) that isn't taught much

                            my opinion
                            Not really.

                            You'll still get laid if you know what you're doing whether its a social setting or one 2 one.

                            The only difference is how you go about it. I.e. being flexible to the situation.

                            Peace

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