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Feeding in to Social Stigma

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  • Feeding in to Social Stigma

    Just got back from my lunch break. I went down to barnes and nobles and had some soup while reading "Psychologies Magazine" (which btw I found a very interesting article which I may be posting on soon, has high relevance to seduction).

    I saw a girl dressed very punkish. After she sat down in the cafe area, I sat there thinking "I'd like to approach. Perhaps I should wait to finish my soup" but then immediately realized that as soon as I know I want to approach, that's the time to do it. So I did, then invited her to my table, but she declined saying she was waiting for a ride (and to her credit they pulled up about 5 minutes later and she got in.)

    So as I sat there by the front window, reading this article, I see another sexy chick walking towards the door. Face is average but body is very hot. We make eye contact.

    Then a series of thoughts went through my head

    "I should approach her, however she is still moving around so I'll wait til she settles in a spot so I'm not chasing her around the store."

    She walks around the book section some more, then stops at the magazine rack. I take two of the magazines I have and walk over to put them back. Before I get there she disappears. I walk to the bathroom.

    "Maybe I'll see her in the stacks on my way to the bathroom."

    I didn't. As I'm walking back I see her by the cafe counter putting condiments in her coffee. I walk back to my table.

    "Let's see where she goes."

    She walks into the cafe and grabs a table.

    "Agghhh. All these people already saw me approach punk girl!"

    It's almost time for me to get back to work. I start cleaning up after myself and she gets up and leaves the store, walking past me. I look at her but I can't remember if we made EC or not.

    It's over. I had given up. Time to head back to work.

    -------------------------

    So what happened? I had no AA (in the traditional sense) as I had already approached HBpunk and felt fine doing so. I was about to approach HB2 at the mag rack where we were isolated, but she somehow got out of my sight. I didn't follow the 3s rule, but not because of AA. I was seeking better strategy, nay, logistics for the approach.

    What it came down to was the fact that I fed into the Social Stigma of how I looked hanging out in a book store picking up chicks. Yeah, it's AA but of a different kind. Here I was telling myself that I should be portraying a higher knowledge of social skills by not showing everyone in the bookstore what my true intentions for being there were.

    But really, why give a fuck about them? So after I left, I had an intra-conscience debate about both sides of the coin, and ultimately my decision was the lesson to take away is that feeding into this type of social stigma is counterintuitive to my personal growth and development. These people watching me have nothing to do with that. I may never see them again (except the staff.)

    This isn't a rant or a question. I'm just hoping that some of the newer guys will read this and learn from my mistakes. Also, I would love to hear what any of the more seasoned guys have to say about the subject.

  • #2
    I Go Through The Same Debate In Day Game

    Yes I do exactly the same thing and think of it as logisitcs too. I think what if theres too many people in the room and she feels like a slut and that causes her to reject me etc. etc. Is it the best to just approach right when you get your chance and forget about all the rest of the things? Seasoned guys?

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    • #3
      In tight situations (other people watching, etc) I think it best to rely on eye contact with her to set you in motion. This is the "approach invitation" that says it's alright in that situation from her standpoint. Other than that, don't worry about others. If you are a rock star and get approach invitations from every girl, then approach who you want as if it was your own living room. The rest of us have to be patient, but if you are looking decent and are aware, your opportunities will come.

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