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  • Containment

    A vibe (short for 'vibration', aka radiance/transmitted emotion/aura etcetc..) draws ALL its dramaturgical leverage (energy/impact) from the sense that what is seen, is just a minor part of something vastly greater. That its just a small trickle coming from an entire raging river, just beneath the surface (Song: Yta = surface).

    IOW, if someone looks at you in an emotionally charged way, you can glimpse the things they feel like doing to you.

    It is this glimpsing, that creates the whole dramatic energy. OTOH if they act openly in full congruence with their vibe, the whole drama/intensity vanishes instantly.
    -Picture a fairly attractive person, deliberately rotating slowly towards you, perfectly controlling a cool composure, except for locking eyes with you for a single erotically charged second.
    -Now picture the same person instead attempting to literally hump your leg, while staring at you with a drunkishly aroused facial expression...

    Re-cap: intense vibe/drama comes down to only one thing: Letting your vibe speak loudly while CONTAINING your physical actions.

    Especially in regard to horny vibes, you can quickly feel that the CONTAINED energy from doing this, densifies to an energy-storm inside you. When you are in this INNER STORM STATE, the glimpses that others perceive become more breath taking, simply because they sense the growing DIVIDE between your calm exterior and the raging energy underneath. That sense that imminent eruption is unavoidable....

    - - -

    Okay but what are practical ways of doing this, when out partying in bars and clubs?

    Firstly, CONTAINMENT is 90% about TEMPO, since any eruption of any kind starts with a sharp acceleration. So, most of all, CONTAIN YOUR TEMPO. Which means that you should be a bit like a stalking panther, in absolutely all your movements. But especially.... when there is obvious reason towards speeding up!! Because nothing communicates CONTAINMENT better than controlling tempo in JUST such situations.. (Not moving at all is the ultimate form of this. Same often goes for SILENCE!! Check out some of the oldest Clint Eastwood movies..)

    Secondly, NOT letting your desires make you do things prematurely(**). Like making out (please recall the leg-humping example from above!)

    (Shyness, real or enacted, actually works well as a type of attractive containment, as long as you can manage to not fully break the connection. IOW, shyness is sexy as long as you manage to not fully kill the conversation.)

    Thirdly, doing something, which is a lot LESS than your vibe would suggest. Example: caressing her cheek über gently, while your eyes say you want to fuck her so hard she cant walk next day. (Or talking über polite and softly to a scumbag who just pissed you off, while your vibe is fuming with rage.. this is the type of stuff all great drama is made from.)

    (**: All things are premature, until they can be done as the 'LESS THAN EXPECTED', described above.)

    - - -

    So you will:
    -move like panther and slow-turn for drama
    -set people on fire with your eyes and energy - NOT your hands/tongue/cock etc..
    -when you engage physically, you will do a lot LESS than expected from your eyes/energy at that point..

    All this CONTAINMENT of energy will build and build inside you, until it feels like the very AIR around you is electrified..

    - - -

    (Yes this is just a vastly improved way of expressing what I earlier tried to communicate using the word 'vacuum'. (Vacuum being nothing more than a byproduct of containment, hence a silly starting point for trying to explain. Sorry about that. Feel free to re-read my vacuum threads in light of this improved explanation though, if you have the time/inclination.)

  • #2
    Originally posted by ijjjji View Post
    Secondly, NOT letting your desires make you do things prematurely(**). Like making out
    Would you say that girls try and break you / draw you out of your 'contained' state, as a kind of test? They test your ability to maintain the tension between your inner desires and your still exterior? Force you to reconcile them?

    This has probably been my experience. And it's quite hard to resist when you know you have her attention. But if you do give in, I always feel like you instantly know you fucked up. Like you know you killed something.

    Nice post.

    Comment


    • #3
      Ijjjji, this is to date the best post I have ever read from you.

      Comment


      • #4
        Good stuff! Controlling your emotions is the essence of masculinity in my opinion. Knowing when to act and not to act. Thanks ijjjji!

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        • #5
          this is awesome stuff. very clear explanation.

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          • #6
            You nailed something really important here. This describes a lot of my style and made it clear to me why i often get the girl despite being a bit 'shy' and delaying my moves.

            Also explains a recent fuckup where i didnt contain myself enough after make-out.

            There is poetry in this concept.
            0---: "Oh! He's dashing!"

            Comment


            • #7
              I agree that hinting is sexy while blatantly showing all your cards is un-sexy. Calm surface, slight smile and fire in you eyes hinting the lava storm inside is a good analogy.

              A little practical tip (not sure if it is 100% what OP mean though):
              After getting a bit of rapport with the girl, casually fiddle with things you are not supposed to fiddle with (like the inside of her skirts hemline, slightly tug the fabric of her shirt, etc.) while carrying a normal conversation and acting like it's no big deal. Also, for the same effect, you can slowly, calmly and discreetly graze her arm or the side of her body with only your index finger or your finger tips.

              Edit: My tip above is a very strong yet subtle and discreet signal of interest.

              Comment


              • #8
                “The eyes are the mirror of the soul”

                Prolonged eye contact is a very common mistake. The eyes dont contain emotions properly..

                [Predators gauge distance to prey by staring intensively. This behavior is so strongly ingrained that throughout animal kingdom, that there is extra sensory processing dedicated to JUST detect being stared at (danger). If you observe cats carefully, you can often see them looking in all kinds of weird directions other than the direction of the tree where the little birds just landed.. so sneaky!]

                Some practical tips:
                -Lowering eyelids somewhat, forces muscles around the eye to relax, and thus prohibiting the eyes from giving away too much emotion.
                -Looking sideways, even if just for a brief moment, removes a lot of the predatory vibe. Make this a habit when talking with someone.
                -Learn to eye-smile.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Seeing Cozy (a.k.a. the cost of success) in the board earlier, reminded me of something he once told me. It was along the lines of:

                  "If I get very close to a girl I'm dancing with, I like to SLIGHTLY increase style (posing) to create some distance between us. It is VERY subtle, because too much 'style sexuality' compared to 'trance sexuality' = gay."

                  His description was probably much better, but thats how I remember it. I dont know if its obvious to the average reader, but to me, that is the ultimate artistry of containment, since he is basically containing 3 key aspects (if not more) at the same time.

                  I think he also mentioned that trying to 'dance' adds too much style in a lame way, so he prefers to use only his sexual instincts when moving to the music. I aspire to do similar, but not quite there yet.

                  (Edit: Style vs trance (see quote) reminded me of the power of AMBIGUITY. Which incidentally (?) was the first post (by IN10SE) to ever mention vacuum in a PU context.. The circle is complete! Note to self: Make a post about how ambiguity gives a lot of freedom, without sacrificing containment.)

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Stargazer View Post
                    I agree that hinting is sexy while blatantly showing all your cards is un-sexy. Calm surface, slight smile and fire in you eyes hinting the lava storm inside is a good analogy.

                    A little practical tip (not sure if it is 100% what OP mean though):
                    After getting a bit of rapport with the girl, casually fiddle with things you are not supposed to fiddle with (like the inside of her skirts hemline, slightly tug the fabric of her shirt, etc.) while carrying a normal conversation and acting like it's no big deal. Also, for the same effect, you can slowly, calmly and discreetly graze her arm or the side of her body with only your index finger or your finger tips.

                    Edit: My tip above is a very strong yet subtle and discreet signal of interest.
                    Wow.

                    I ALWAYS do this, almost subconsciously.

                    Great tip, I woulda never caught that.
                    0---: "Oh! He's dashing!"

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Jesus.

                      You already know how I feel about your taking something instinctual, and turning it into something explicit.

                      Thank you.
                      "I like it when you come in here, take up all the space in my mind..
                      I think I'll let you love me tonight"

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Hall of fame thread. Though i do think its ironic ij that you call almost every PUA concept bullshit / mental masturbation and then you come up with the most abstract theoretical stuff ever

                        As I've improved I've noticed my level of 'containment' rise naturally. Last night I met up with a cute 18 year old from online game, and fifteen minutes later we were sitting at the bar and the sexual tension was so high that she jumped me (as a rule I don't kiss or do anything sexual until we're in my room). She couldn't help herself, the sexual tension was so high due to containment. I just said "I need to get my cigarettes" and we were in my room banging ten minutes later.

                        What I would call advanced game: dominance / power and control + sexual state / containment. If you have these you can lead her to sex whenever you want.

                        Interestingly enough none of these things have anything to do with what you say or do

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Restraint, is what I like to call it. (And its probably not my original word.)

                          Restraint is basically escalation and takeaway packed into one simmering combo. Powerful shit.

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                          • #14
                            Here is a summary of the 'last leg' of PU that I compiled for the guide that tub is working on. I think it helps illustrate the containment-principal, so Im storing a copy here for reference. (And thanks to hangman for coming up with a more intuitively meaningful term! Everyone, lets use term 'restraint' from now on.)


                            Restraint a.k.a. the 0% LMR Method

                            Mandatory: Ignore any advice that suggests a progressive escalation. When things 'heat up'/'escalate', it MUST happen with an definite degree of mutuality. (If you get 'resistance', its because you tried to escalate progressively!)

                            Mandatory: Get her sitting next to you. (E.g. start a movie or episode on your laptop, so she _has_ to sit close to you to watch it.)

                            Mandatory: Get some form of kino going, but remember: dont 'escalate' it on your own.

                            Mandatory: Never undress girls. When things heat up, just do stuff like rubbing and dry-humping until she herself starts removing clothes.

                            Kissing advice: Restraint + mixing things up, builds horniness the fastest. Proven techniques are:
                            -move lips near hers.. when she goes in, back up repeatedly until she frustrated, then grab and kiss her HARD
                            -put lips gently against ear and rotate tongue slowly around ear opening - move it down to ear lobe - stick it very gently into her ear canal
                            -run fingers up back and neck, and make light fist with her hair - tighten as makeout progresses
                            -let kissing trail her chin and neck down to her chest and up again
                            -nibble her chin, neck and ear lobes

                            Sex advice: Restraint builds horniness the fastest. Proven techniques are:
                            -Rub slowly towards pussy but make a turn so you barely miss it.
                            -When rubbing pussy, just graze it.
                            -When licking pussy, don't dive in. Home in slowly. Lick inner thighs a lot, barely touching pussy when you change side. Take time licking areas *close* to the pussy before licking IT.
                            -When time to put it in, don't! Rub clit with head of cock and put only head inside. Go back and forth between rubbing and putting only head inside.
                            -When fucking, start *very* slow and focus on getting maximum range of motion with every thrust. Accelerate much slower than she wants to, or not at all.

                            Mandatory: If things fail to heat up/progress while watching on laptop or similar, simply proclaim "Its so late. You should sleep over. Its ok we can just sleep." ..then proceed to pulling out clean sheets for the bed. Once in bed, cuddle up and keep the kino going, including breathing on her neck and smelling her hair.

                            End of method.

                            Originally posted by ijjjji View Post
                            Click the '>>' above to go to guide thread

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              You summed up a solution to my last FR in a way that seems more organic and congruent with my style.

                              HoF thread.
                              THREAD Illuminatus' male episodic memory versus female emotional memory is a great reminder about the premise that women love their feelings and if you associate yourself with these feelings you're in, at least in that particular moment.

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