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Z's All-Encompasing Guide To Bar Game

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  • Z's All-Encompasing Guide To Bar Game

    So there are a lot of guides out there for club game, dance floor game, daygame, but I can't recall ever really seeing a cover-to-cover guide to bar game. Maybe that's because what I'm about to say is common knowledge, but I think there are some things in here that could be useful to guys if you tend to spend a lot of time in bars. In any case, what I'm throwing out here is hopefully as close to a comprehensive guide to bar game as there is out there today. This is going to be a little long, but stick with it if you're interested. Here we go.

    Venue Selection

    Venue selection for picking a good bar to hang at is absolutely critical. I'm going to completely ignore the whole club scene and focus specifically on the different types of bars that you typically run across in a given city. Here are the major types I've noticed and what they tend to be good for.

    • Hipster bars - Typically very cliquey, and usually have the venue set up with a lot of nooks and crannies that allow for groups to isolate themselves. Tend to offer a pretty decent variety of drinks, but girls tend to have some type of strange hipster bitchshield up unless you come in with an introduction from someone. Generally, I view these places as somewhere that you can grab a quick drink and move on, but this is coming from someone who isn't exactly a hipster.
    • Sports bars/pubs - Great for the day-drinking party scene. Girls can be somewhat standoffish at first, but can typically be broken into pretty easily through sports commonalities in these places. Spending 4-5+ hours in a single sitting can get you in pretty well with chicks in places like this. Typically not great as a pure night location, but some of the more upscale ones can draw pretty decent crowds.
    • College bars - On a typical Friday night between September and May, the crowds at these places are 50%+ college kids, and just about everyone else is within 3-4 years of that age. These are primetime for night game at bars, but you can run into some trouble trying to pull college chicks from places that draw overly from one school. I'll focus on that a bit more when we get to target selection.
    • High-class bars - Draws in an upscale scene that obviously has a level of status preselection. Can be very, very difficult to get any type of traction in these places if you don't have some type of high-status association such as family connections, education, work, etc. If you do have something like that in your background, this shit opens up really easily for you.
    • Specialty bars - You know the ones I'm talking about. The ones with 150 beers on tap. The ones with 90 different tequilas. Stupid gimmicks. They attract wannabe high-status girls for the first 6 months they're open, then die out and are replaced with another one before the end of the year. Great late night last stop if you're looking to snag drunk girls trying to look cool.
    • Yuppie bars - Draws a lot of the young after-work crowd, generally packed from about 6PM through 10PM after work, and can also have good weekend scenes. High degree of connection between a lot of the people at places like this, so can be cliquey, but pretty easy to break into in general. A lot of layups to be had at places like this after 10PM on weeknights.



    Positioning Yourself Inside


    So now that we've gotten you into the bar of your choice, where exactly do you go? This depends a bit on exactly how full the place is at any given time. If it's pretty empty, particularly if you're anticipating it filling up, spotting up at the bar is prime real estate. First off, if it's empty and staying that way, you're going to be moving on quickly anyways, so be ready to close out any tab that you have open. Second, if the place is going to be filling up, spotting up at the bar automatically puts you in a high-traffic area that is going to have tons of people moving past you trying to get drinks. Every minute you have a new chance to talk to a new girl. And they typically come back more than once, so you'll typically have built-in second and third encounters later on in the night. This is prime stuff for getting some quick C+F and other shit, and then being able to isolate later.

    If the place is already a little more full, work on trying to set yourself up in some type of high-traffic area as noted before. Yeah, you can try to play that your group is the cool group and sit in the back and just chat amongst yourselves, but that isn't really going to get you anywhere in most cases. Think of the setup of the bar in terms of choke points that people need to travel through. Try to find spots near these locations so you have a constant turnover of people. It also allows you to engage and disengage chicks easily, as they'll be just passing through, so it keeps the normal flow moving even if you have to eject.

    Getting To Know The Staff

    This is a key point to mention also. I have 4-5 bars that I regularly frequent in Boston that I know just about all of the staff by name. Why is this key? Two major reasons. First, it makes getting drinks a lot easier and cheaper. Staff that know you will take care of you if you take care of them. Second, it also gives major social proof when you're chatting up girls if you know the staff. Even though the bouncer is probably making less than you, chicks still think you're the man he gets you through the line with no wait. Even if this shit isn't getting you laid, it will still make your nights easier, so do yourself a favor and get to know the people who work where you go a lot.

    Target Selection

    Almost as critical as finding the right bar to go to is picking the right target once you're in the place. And to be honest, for me, what a chick is wearing or how she carries herself is actually secondary to some of the info that I get right off the bat from her. I can't tell you how many chicks I've met who are dressed like complete sluts who turn out to be really, really difficult to crack and have no intention of going home with anyone. So for me, I tend to chat up just about everyone in the area around me until I find someone that typically has the characteristics I'm looking for. For me, I tend to go for a lot of SNLs, mostly because I tend to be drinking and it seems like the right thing to do. So some of the things I look for are:

    • New to the area. Tends to not have a lot of other options or been getting banged regularly.
    • Age 22-25. Mature enough to understand SNLs and be comfortable with them, but not old enough to have the serious relationship bug.
    • Career-oriented. Tends to be independent and more open to shit, as well as not being gold-digger material.



    Again, you may have different criteria. But by picking up a few things like this about chicks you have had success with, you should be able to identify within a few minutes whether or not a chick fits a pattern that could lead to her going home with you. I find this to be way more effective than what she is wearing or how she is acting initially.

    Opening

    Alright, so now we've got you into the bar, got you a couple drinks, got you positioned in a high-traffic area, and you've picked out your target. So what are the most effective ways to open? The most consistent for me has been busting on a chick with regards to something inside of the bar. In other words, if I see a really fucking ugly sign, I'll point and go, "Did you put that up there?" Same thing for a shitty song. "So this is your song, right?" It's quick, engaging, and allows you a ton of transition options since there is typically a ton of other shit along the same line to talk about. Eventually you're going to come across something that hooks there.

    I'll also use variations of the opener I posted a couple weeks ago, "So why do girls like me?" as well as some different versions of Zardoz's birthday opener. Shit, sometimes my buddies and I just pretend it's one of our birthdays because it's fun to do and gives you shit to open with. Who doesn't want to hang out with the crazy birthday celebration?

    The main point here is that the most effective openers in bars tend to be situational based on what is going on there. Opinion openers and other shit tend to not really match up and seem a little forced, so I tend to stay away from them. One other thing that I will use from time to time is overhearing someone else's conversation. Everyone does it. So especially if a group is being loud, just jump in with shit if you have something to say there. Easy in for groups with that.

    Post-Opening

    What you do from here depends largely on the time. If it's early in a night, I'll typically chat a chick up for 10-15 minutes and then move on and see who else is around. In general, it is very difficult to pull early in the night. The times when it does happen are typically during all-day drinking when it feels later than it is and people are more drunk, but typically, you won't see that many pulls until about an hour or so from closing. It just goes too much against social dynamics to be able to pull early in the night in most cases. So with that in mind, it's kind of like catch-and-release fishing. Get a good interaction, then try to reconnect towards the end of the night. This also gives you a certain familiarity and you are able to work with that as well.

    Once you run into her again, you can either use callback humor or just reopen with a completely new line of shit. Callback humor does tend to build a stronger association, but it's not necessary by any means. You can go through this cycle with chicks two or three times, but somewhere around the third time, you want to start considering isolating and either going for a pull or snagging a number.

    In the case that you're a bit closer to closing, I'll typically push for an extended 30-45 minute interaction, and then a venue change back to my place, either for just the target chick or the whole group if they're more engaged and it's easier. Keep in mind that with group pulls back to your place, you will need good wings for every chick that you're pulling back, because if there is an extra chick left, she can become a major pain that blows shit up for everyone. Occasionally you run into a cool chick who will let her friend get laid while she goes home, but they are definitely the exception to the rule. Once again, if you plan for a group pull back to your place, have a guy for every chick, or go for the threesome.

    Pulling


    Don't overcomplicate this. If you're within an hour or so of closing and things are going well, you should be able to know if she's going to come home with you or not. Then keep it simple. "Let's get out of here." She'll probably give you a "What are we going to do?" Have some bullshit ready for her. I always used to tell chicks we were going to go play Super Nintendo. Sometimes I tell chicks I have to water my plants. I don't have any plants. It doesn't matter. Just have something ready. If you've done your job to this point, this is actually easy. You just have to convince yourself that it is.

    Post-Pull

    This is one part that can fuck guys up. So you're in this loud, fucking packed bar that is crazy, and the two of you are feeling all this sexual tension, and you finally manage to ask her to leave with you, and she even says yes! Oooooh, this is gonna be great! And then you get outside and...it's fucking cold. Or it's raining. And a cab just splashed water on her dress. And she doesn't know where her friends are. And you're probably a rapist or something. So she bails and heads home to her average-sized green dildo. Shit.

    Do you see what just happened? When you pull a chick out of a bar, there is a huge state change that takes place. Think about it. You go from this high-octane shit down to a very quiet, subdued, very real atmosphere. And her head starts taking her places. What you need to do is interrupt that logical cycle. The biggest thing that you can do here is keep talking. Literally, just talk about anything. I have walked home to my place and spent 15 minutes talking about Tom Brady wearing Ugg boots, and still gotten laid. I'm not kidding. Just talk about anything to take her mind of what is actually going on. This is one of the major parts where most guys lose shit.

    Your Place

    Now you're at your place. No one is around. I think you know what to do. That's right. Star Wars marathon. All six movies. Try not to pop a boner at Princess Leia in the last one. That would be a waste.

    Conclusion

    So that should give you a pretty basic template from A to Z for bar game and pulls. Obviously, individual situations are going to be a little different. But this should give you a pretty good roadmap from start to finish for what needs to happen in most cases. I know I left a lot out. That's because a lot of what happens in between all of this shit is very, very fluid. But from my experiences, just about everything here is critical to being able to pull from bars on a regular basis. So hit it with questions if you got em, and we'll roll from there. Big ups.
    We're here. The rest is bullshit.

  • #2
    Originally posted by Z View Post
    Your Place

    Now you're at your place. No one is around. I think you know what to do. That's right. Star Wars marathon. All six movies. Try not to pop a boner at Princess Leia in the last one. That would be a waste.

    FINALLY! My dvd collection of Star Wars Ep 1-6 are going to come in handy!!!!!

    Amazing post Z, as always. As I was reading this, it pretty much clicked and reverberated with alot of what I have found to be true. My only question is this:

    What type of body language are you using when you open these girls in the high-traffic areas? Like, are you sitting down and when a girl walks by, you just tap her on her should and be like "blah blah blah smooth line being pulled from my ass" or...? This seem to be one of my biggest sticking points at bars: the body language when you open.
    Having the integrity to never accept bullshit, is the fundament of masculinity itself. ijjjji

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    • #3
      good post, Z. THX.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by tov View Post
        What type of body language are you using when you open these girls in the high-traffic areas? Like, are you sitting down and when a girl walks by, you just tap her on her should and be like "blah blah blah smooth line being pulled from my ass" or...? This seem to be one of my biggest sticking points at bars: the body language when you open.
        It's usually done very low-key. Think about it in terms of just making a comment in passing, not really trying to get her attention. In particular, when you're focused on just pointing out something around you, it's typically pretty easy to be congruent with that frame. Just a quick little line, and then if it hooks, you can shift around and be a little more interested, which is kind of a natural progression anyways.
        We're here. The rest is bullshit.

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        • #5
          Great post!

          Let me add something regarding venue selection. To have an awesome night out (not necessarily for chicks, but to have fun in general), I generally start early in a low key pub (no or low volume music, daylight or lights on, drink beer), and then venue change a couple times during the night. The rule is that each venue change should: have louder/faster music, be a darker place, and your drink should have a higher alcohol content

          (If this sounds basic, it's because it is...)
          "I'm the kind of guy you don't want to bring home to mom. Cuz I'd fuck your mom."

          "I don't have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination"

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          • #6
            Sounds like you're not a big fan of any bar other than the college bar, Z. Or at least, it seems that way while you highlight barriers to entry a guy can have in the other venues. This raises a rather obvious question. It's July, another 6-8 weeks will go by before these college bars fill up. What do you do in the meantime?

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            • #7
              Originally posted by DJ_Z View Post
              Sounds like you're not a big fan of any bar other than the college bar, Z. Or at least, it seems that way while you highlight barriers to entry a guy can have in the other venues. This raises a rather obvious question. It's July, another 6-8 weeks will go by before these college bars fill up. What do you do in the meantime?
              I tried to highlight the issues that you run into at the different types described here. In general, college ones are the easiest to work unless they draw heavily from one place, as it can be tough to break into the scene then. But again, for different times and different personalities, other ones can be fine too. I can do well at a couple upscale bars around Boston because of my background, but most of them I don't really have the credentials to do really well in. I also love sports bars for day drinking since they can be a little more quiet and easy to isolate if you're there all day. And at least in Boston, yuppie bars are a bit of a sweetspot for me since I do know a good amount of that crowd.

              In the summer, I personally spend a lot of time down by the water in Boston, mostly because it's so nice out and it draws a big crowd that typically looks pretty good. In the winter, I tend to stick a little closer to my apartment, just because it gets cold as fuck and I don't feel like walking and taking cabs everywhere then.
              We're here. The rest is bullshit.

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              • #8
                Good stuff Z.

                I figure beginners would definitely love to hear some more concrete examples on the opening and post-opening. I know I can't get enough.

                If you find the time.

                Nick
                Don't be upset by the results you didn't get with the work you didn't do.

                There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility lies in being superior to your former self. -Hemingway

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Z View Post
                  Post-Pull

                  This is one part that can fuck guys up. So you're in this loud, fucking packed bar that is crazy, and the two of you are feeling all this sexual tension, and you finally manage to ask her to leave with you, and she even says yes! Oooooh, this is gonna be great! And then you get outside and...it's fucking cold. Or it's raining. And a cab just splashed water on her dress. And she doesn't know where her friends are. And you're probably a rapist or something. So she bails and heads home to her average-sized green dildo. Shit.

                  Do you see what just happened? When you pull a chick out of a bar, there is a huge state change that takes place. Think about it. You go from this high-octane shit down to a very quiet, subdued, very real atmosphere. And her head starts taking her places. What you need to do is interrupt that logical cycle. The biggest thing that you can do here is keep talking. Literally, just talk about anything. I have walked home to my place and spent 15 minutes talking about Tom Brady wearing Ugg boots, and still gotten laid. I'm not kidding. Just talk about anything to take her mind of what is actually going on. This is one of the major parts where most guys lose shit.
                  what I do is very similar, just not verbal at all - I just amp the kino (way up from the level it reached inside the venue) and start making out

                  Of course this progression must be as smooth as possible - you need to have reached several "almost" make out moments and had some serious kino inside the venue already, or such an escalation will be too abrupt and will take her out of state too

                  -M
                  "When in doubt... fuck." (Scent of a Woman)

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I used to do that a lot as well Manneken but according to Aima it's not a good idea because it immediately puts the girl on the spot, making her hot and bothered, and the ASD/LMR may begin to kick in as the voices reign down on her about how much of a slut she is for wanting your sauerkraut.

                    Better, according to him, to leave the makeout until the process can advance all the way to sex.

                    Thanks for the stencil Z; I can picture you doing your thing in the local watering-holes and dive bars, and agree that they are perhaps the most amusing of night venues.

                    Clubs are really more for direct sexual shit (Sleazy), and not exactly where you can hang with people or meet new ones properly/shoot the shit.
                    In pussy we trust

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Bismarck View Post
                      I used to do that a lot as well Manneken but according to Aima it's not a good idea because it immediately puts the girl on the spot, making her hot and bothered, and the ASD/LMR may begin to kick in as the voices reign down on her about how much of a slut she is for wanting your sauerkraut.

                      Better, according to him, to leave the makeout until the process can advance all the way to sex
                      I very much disagree with that - I don't think I've EVER sexed a chick with whom I didn't already have some makeout on the way home (NOT inside the venue!)

                      remember that on your way home (walking / in your car / in a cab) you are already in isolation. Her friends are not there to judge her and trigger her ASD, and by slowly increasing the physical escalation and some push/pull you actually reduce the chance of a LMR, since there is a smooth progression that makes her hornier by the minute and naturally leads to sex

                      I really believe you will actually encounter stronger LMR if you try to "keep it cool" on the way home (and limit the kino & de-escalate) and then suddenly start escalating again once you've closed your front door behind her. You need to keep her in the same state and slowly make her hotter for you, rather than switch from one state to another

                      -M
                      "When in doubt... fuck." (Scent of a Woman)

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                      • #12
                        I've tried both approaches in terms of making out vs not doing anything before. Not a whole lot of difference in terms of results to be honest. Go with what feels right, be bold about it regardless of which way you choose, and you'll be in good shape. Personally, I prefer to let shit build by not doing much more than a couple quick kisses, then a lot of heavy EC and shit like that. That's just where I'm at right now. Really no wrong way as long as you keep short term momentum moving.
                        We're here. The rest is bullshit.

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                        • #13
                          Nice stuff!

                          Only I disagree with in a big way, is getting 'set up' before talking to girls.

                          Some observations of my own:
                          -Entrance area is golden if the bar starts there.
                          -Toilet area is golden.
                          -Second line at the bar is better than first line (standing ca 1m away from bar rather than clinging to it, allowing people to go in front of you to buy drinks).
                          My method: Say "Hello" or "Wow" > shy look > starry-eyed look > spamming cold-read-compliments + feather light touches

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                          • #14
                            Hey Z,

                            In overall, the guide is very good. Two questions:

                            - do you open girls only when they are already isolated (momentarily or not)? Or do you also open girls on 2+ sets? Do you notice any difference?
                            - How is your energy when opening? Do you calibrate with girls energy?

                            Thanks

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I essentially always open in an isolated fashion. By this, I mean that I never engage an entire group to begin with. I find a chick I think is cute and go right for her, essentially ignoring everyone else. Once her friends start coming over and saying hi, I'll engage them, but I've never really felt comfortable going in trying to engage a whole group. So I just treat my target as if no one else is there.

                              As far as my energy level, I am very low energy usually, at least in terms of my delivery. Not in terms of vibe or content, but just very calm and easygoing. And I couple that with some dynamite swag and it's a good combination to work with. Picture Ryan Gosling from Crazy Stupid Love with a lot less hair and you'll see what I'm going for.
                              We're here. The rest is bullshit.

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