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  • On Missions

    I wake up every day and feel like I'm on autopilot. I have control of what I'm doing, but not really in control of my life so to speak. I don't have a mission. I went through everything I was "supposed" to do (school, grades, college) and now I find myself unemployed, struggling to pay copious amounts of debt.

    I realize I don't have a mission in life. Nor do I know where to begin looking for one. I don't really know what I want out of life.

    What would be some good first steps to take in finding a mission that's right for me?

    Also, I'm curious, what are your life missions?

  • #2
    post-college I'd suggest trying hard to expand your social/professional circle beyond people of yr age + income. Could be through volunteering, joining a political party, activist group, etc. Or an internship-also likely to be unpaid.At first you trade your time / ability to "follow orders" / help with the simple stuff in exchange for time with people who have contacts and know the unwritten rules of life. You will start to see more of what's going on out there at a personal level and that could inspire you and get you going.

    An opposite approach but potientially also helpful is to "go on a quest" I think david deangelo writes about that maybe someone else remebers where. for example a hike / trip by yourself. all of this won't be easy w/o money but you can fit it in if you prioritize since really you just have to make time.

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    • #3
      THREAD MOVED TO LIFESTYLES

      OFF-TOPIC IS FOR GET-LAID STUFF, NOT SELF-IMPROVEMENT.
      I like carrots! num num num

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      • #4
        Thanks for the advice, PaulB.

        After thinking about this for about a week, I finally decided to get my ass off the bed and off the computer. I don't know what it was, but it definitely seemed like a repetitive pattern that I just couldn't break. A mental loop where time goes by, but I don't progress or move forward in life.

        I have set a goal for myself. A big goal. Considering I'm in debt from student loans.

        Financial independence.

        How am I going to achieve this? For starters, finding a job. Then finding a part time job on the side. Sacrifice until I pay off all my debts. Then start saving.
        Also, figuring out which loans to pay off first, since some have a higher interest rate than others.

        In the meantime, while I do secure a job, I'm going to volunteer where I can.

        I had an interview today, and it went great. I'm looking forward to building from there.

        I've been going to the gym, although not as often as I'd like (even though I have a normal BMI).

        I suppose no one can help me find a mission, as it's something that I must figure out on my own. It would have been nice to see how you guys motivated yourselves into doing what you love in life.

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        • #5
          Ok. Since the last update, I attained three phone interviews and an in person interview. They were for job agencies, nonetheless it's better than not interviewing at all.
          I've also thought about sales. It's one of my strong suites and I know it's something I would excel at. I considered applying to a car dealership, where I can work on base and commision.

          I've also considered taking a managerial position back at my old place. That would require me to move away from home and into an apartment with someone else. I'm ok with that.

          As far as sarging goes, I haven't really put too much effort into it. I talked and flirted here and there, but nothing leading to phone closes or closes in general. It's not my priorities. Although, someone with experience, would it be a good idea to put female companionship into my priorities at this moment?

          I'll keep updating my progress as I go. I'm determined to flip my life around to the place it was before.

          B

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          • #6
            My last post was in March 15, 2014.

            Since then I have followed through on my phone interview and am now on almost my second month as a broker for a telecom company. Sales, anyway.

            I realized how sales and pickup are in some ways identical.

            Everyone has their scripts. It's programmed into the customers mind already when approached by a salesman to blurt out a reaction such as "I'm not interested" or "I don't have time right now" compared to "I have a boyfriend" and shit tests from women. They're just obstacles to overcome in order to get to actually talk to the person.

            Anyway, it feels good that I accomplished one of my goals, which was to find a job in the meantime that can help me pay the bills. The next goal is being the best salesman. But that's easier said than done. It requires work. Lots of work. And at this point I'm halfway serious and halfway trying to focus on other things as well.

            Such as whether or not I should continue seeing this girl. We've been on and off for four years.

            I've fallen to this trap where I'm insecure. This fear that she will eventually end up cheating on me. And part of it can be attested to me having cheated on her before. That I know anyone can do it. It's that real and can happen to anyone. Or this feeling of how it will be when it happens. I've convinced myself that it will happen, to the point where my actions and what I do is pushing, or leading her, into doing it in the future. At least it feels like it from what I read how men act before their girls find someone who is either more masculine, or more "alpha" or whatever the term is now.

            I want to rid of this fear. Does it mean letting her go? I don't know.

            I am starting to realize that every human is flawed in some way. That we paint pictures in our heads of what we want people to be. And that is not the case. No one will ever live up to the expectations we place on others. Because some of them are unrealistic. Like being perfect, and always loyal, and faithful. Because I myself am not perfect. And that eventually I also will slip, and my resulting slip will affect how the other person acts.

            I know the only way is to change myself and how I am and how I act. But it starts internally. I'm not mentally prepared to be in a monogamous relationship. I don't think I ever will. Unless I lose interest in women. But that's not happening either. It's that I know that I find other women attractive. And that I want to bone them. Or maybe it has to do with the insecurity of knowing guys like you exist, and that in my moments of weakness, you will appear and my girlfriend will end up cheating. The pill is hard to take in. I've swallowed it before, and I started believing that people can resist the temptation to cheat. That not everyone is that weak willed, and can say no and actually not cheat during the relationship. The only thing is the loopholes. They exist And it will be exploited.

            I'm rambling at this point, and it really has nothing to do with missions, so I'll stop.

            My next mission is receiving commission on my checks and make extra money. Not being with this girl is going to be difficult. As is departing from anything we've become emotionally attached to.

            Is it better to ascend in consciousness and not be attached to anything as so many spiritual leaders have said? Or is that the opposite of being human?

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            • #7
              Originally posted by B View Post
              Is it better to ascend in consciousness and not be attached to anything as so many spiritual leaders have said? Or is that the opposite of being human?
              I have come to believe that anything you want to do with your life, in the end it comes down to connections, and deep ones. I believe that when I die, I (my consciousness) will fade to nothing (or energy land or whatever they call it), my body will fade into its parts (ashes to ashes), and whatever remains of me will be the things and people around me that I managed to affect. The deeper the connections you share with people, the easier you can affect them, but also be affected by them. The deeper the connection, the more you can share happiness with them, and the more you can share your sadness with them or they can share theirs with you. This, for me, is what Christians and Muslims call Paradise or Hell that they cannot change after their death: their good or bad reputation they earned in life through their connections.

              Disconnectedness from this world and its people, even from your body and yourself, will help to disconnect you from the pain that living in this world brings. You will learn to let people and things go, see them die and see others be born again in their stead, always watching, never trembling from loss, knowing that all will come and leave this world in the blink of an eye. You will learn to feel no pain watching someone die or leave your life, and you will feel powerful being able to do that, because,well, you are. But it is a power that disconnects you from a greater potential to power, the potential power of the union of singular powers of men. Together, men and women (be them 2, 4 or millions of people) can affect and shape this world like no one, even the most powerful man alive, can ever shape it. They will suffer the price in all their pain, but also gain the glory of shared happiness and the feeling that they, together, helped shape this world like little gods.

              In the end, it depends on what you want from life, and your endurance to pain, which for me is the prerequisite to happiness. If you haven't experienced pain, you are not ready for the happiness you can only feel in contrast to the pain. Flee pain, suffering, connection, life itself, and you also run from your happiness. That for me is the great wisdom Buddha and others found, that in disconnection, you can flee the suffering and not feel bad. Nirwana is complete disconnection from that suffering, probably something everyone will find once their body is disconnected from their consciousness. I guess it kinda sucks.

              I have yet to find out how I can manage these deep connections in terms of sexuality, but I have that lingeringn feeling that a lot of it is based on honesty and authencity. Perhaps one day I shall find out, and so shall you.

              I wish you all the best in your travels,
              Jester

              P.S.: Sry if it got really long, I like these topics

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              • #8
                I'd read Robert Greene's Mastery. It's all about this exact situation.

                On finance: The Millionaire Fastlane.

                On student loans:
                You are in a situation called Lifestyle/Education Servitude. You are now an indentured servant to your debt. So do not seek to increase the quality of your lifestyle until the debt is gone.

                DO NOT CONSOLIDATE

                Here's how you pay them off fast:
                You have loan groups and can pick on the 'net how much to pay on which loan group.
                For cash flow, pick the loan with the smallest dollar amount. Overpay on that til it's done. Your minimum payment will then drop. Then use the extra to overpay on the other loans.
                For long-term payoff, so you pay less interest. Pay the minimum on the loans with the smallest amounts. Overpay every chance you get on the highest amount/highest interest loans. Then work your way downward.
                Student loan interest payments are tax deductible, so remember that.
                This whole time, you should also seek to increase your income. Hustle. Do pickup jobs, take your hobbies and turn them into an extra $100 every month. Resist the temptation to spend the extra money on your lifestyle.

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                • #9
                  DAFS:
                  Extreme Early Retirement
                  Mr. Money Mustache

                  Dog.

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