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Meditation to get grounded more

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  • #1
    I'm actually fairly new to meditation myself (I've always done quiet time and reflective time, but not "shut down the mind" time until recently), and have found it immensely helpful right off the bat. I'm already taking new action in my work life that I've been putting off for years, that I feel has a direct correlation to becoming just a bit more in tune with my brain.

    I find taking 10 or so minutes after doing TRE exercises, to try to actively NOT think at all, is a very natural slot for meditation. The body is already in a fully relaxed state, so you can very easily become mindful with little physical/external distraction.

    What was unexpected to me is what a tough mental exercise "no thought" can be. Its very easy to go down long thoughtful quiet mental paths where you're exploring an idea. . . but to actively try to stop thought from happening entirely is a very unique experience. Different thought processes keep firing at you from different directions, and in the process of shutting down one three more fire off. You think your mind is finally quiet for like 2 seconds then you realize you're thinking about how your mind is finally quiet and the dam breaks loose and the brain starts firing off again.

    At this point in my meditation experience, its all still a random haphazard assault of unwanted mental activity, but apparently these thought processes can be identified over time as you get more familiar with them (sometimes being traced back to certain events in your life that created the thought process) and thus you can gain significantly more control of your mind. I'm finding just at step 1 - making the attempt to quite my mind - I'm already gaining noticeable mental control.

    The thing is, even though meditation feels like an assault of unwanted uncontrollable mental activity to me right now, that I inevitably surrender to in full defeat within 15 minutes, I feel great afterwards.

    Really interesting stuff to me. The brain is a very interesting creature.

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    • #2
      Originally posted by Impulse View Post
      So, Ive decided to add in a little bit of meditation to my daily routine to help me ground more. Taking the feedback here, I could do with raising my baseline and because I can sometimes have too much energy in a club/bar (not in a bad way, but its not ideal for connecting to people)

      Does anyone do this and what's the best method from your experience?

      Im thinking just a deep breathing exercise, and concentrating on my breath will do for now. Instead of closing my eyes and doing funny things in my head (which normally puts me to sleep lol)..plus it has to be time efficient. I dont know where people find like 60 minutes to meditate, thats way too much free time

      Whats the most effective yet simple form of meditation that works for you?
      I do meditation on a on & off basis, like I will do it for a few days, maybe a week straight, then forget about it and remember once again when shit starts falling apart. It's very basic, just sitting down for ten minutes with eyes closed and focusing on the breath (take a few full, deep breaths first to relax) and re-focus whenever I notice thoughts coming up. I tried guided meditations, but those didn't feel as impactful (there's a compassion/love guided meditation that I'm still interested in trying that's been recommended by a few people I look up to)

      Couple of years ago I did take a month long class, where we'd meditate for up to 45 min at a time - that was brutal! It did help with the "being grounded" but it was not fun, not something I would look for in the day. After 45 min in terms of "relaxedness" is like smoking a big joint, everything feels like it's moving in slow motion.

      One more thing I do when it comes to being a grounded, happy fella is dedicating 5 - 10 min / day (or every other day) for a gratitude routine, which essentially means just saying out loud the things that I'm grateful for in my life and why. I'm actually recording each of those sessions on my phone so I can compare the thought patterns/things that I appreciate in my life in like 12 months.

      This is something I'd very much recommend, especially for guys who find themselves in confrontational/negative thought patterns often.
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      • #3
        Im not a fan of meditation.

        We have a relaxing exercise for improved posture in Alexander Technique though, and its pretty great:
        http://alexandertechnique.com/constructiverest/

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        • #4
          hey ijjjjji, are you a fan of the alexander Technique?

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          • #5
            I mediate twice to 3 times a day, 10-15mins per session, almost everyday:

            In the morning, before work, I meditate on my life mission, imagine the scene, feeling, emotion when I achieve it.

            Before going out with friends or date, I meditate on alpha, mPUA role-models like Vin Diesel or Ryan Gosling, imagine their coolest moments and when they are in action...

            At night, before bed, I just meditate on nothing, total mindfulness

            Originally posted by pureevil View Post
            What was unexpected to me is what a tough mental exercise "no thought" can be. Its very easy to go down long thoughtful quiet mental paths where you're exploring an idea. . . but to actively try to stop thought from happening entirely is a very unique experience. Different thought processes keep firing at you from different directions, and in the process of shutting down one three more fire off. You think your mind is finally quiet for like 2 seconds then you realize you're thinking about how your mind is finally quiet and the dam breaks loose and the brain starts firing off again.
            I believe it's better not to block your thoughts, but let them flow naturally, come in then fade away quickly. It feels like you are watching a movie, you see your thoughts, but you don't decide anything nor try to feel or control your emotions, just watch them come and go calmly, indifferently... Read it somewhere and I like this method very much, but have no link.

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            • #6
              Originally posted by Impulse View Post
              10-15 mins seems to be a really good sweet spot for this stuff though, its time efficient for busy people
              "You should meditate for 20 minutes a day unless you're too busy. Then you should meditate for one hour"

              A paraphrased quote I once read which has some truth to it :-) but I think if someone starts with meditation it should not be more than 10-15 mins each session.
              "There is a fundamental difference between men and women. To ignore it means to suffer, to experience it means to love. To understand it means seduction."

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              • #7
                I've made some breakthroughs since I posted. I'm new to "no thought" meditation so I imagine these earlier breakthroughs come rather quickly as the early ones usually do. The thought patterns have become less haphazard and thus feel like less of an assault, I can at this point identify three clear thought patterns that are regularly firing off outside of my conscious control, along with some others that still seem more haphazard at this time. Good stuff, useful to me.

                So that's where I'm at. We'll see where it leads next. I'm not using any books or references or guides, I don't want anything coloring my experience all that much.

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                • #8
                  copy / paste from another thread

                  Originally posted by CrassMoFuggah View Post
                  ..just finished a 10 day vipassana meditation [edit: its about 90 hours of meditation in 10 days]. powerful stuff.
                  ...
                  sit and focus your mind on one thing. your breath, an image, a mantra. the mind drifts off, bring it back. keep doing that. you develop concentration, determination. practical tools. after a while you see a pattern of your own thoughts. "damn, my mind keeps drifting to this same damn subject. ive thought this already 8 times in the last 30 minutes!". you start to observe your relationship with discomfort. you start to see what your "quit patterns" are. you start to see how you judge thoughts. try to see the thoughts without reacting to them, without labeling good or bad. you will notice about yourself just how reactive you are. how you label things as good or bad. how you judge or shame or guilt yourself. you will see your relationship with anger and irritation and frustration. All this will come up in the mirror. You work on putting that aside, treat thoughts as "here they are, soon they will go". its a training in impermanence, which is an ultimate truth we lose sight of in our day to day life. you will calm down, stabilize your nervous system, you will train to be present, connected with the truth of the moment.
                  ....
                  about this :

                  Originally posted by pureevil View Post
                  ...I find taking 10 or so minutes after doing TRE exercises, to try to actively NOT think at all, is a very natural slot for meditation. The body is already in a fully relaxed state, so you can very easily become mindful with little physical/external distraction.

                  What was unexpected to me is what a tough mental exercise "no thought" can be. ...
                  two points. first - good work on finding this time slot, something that naturally fits into your pre-existing system / routine. this is a good way to introduce new things and have them stick. as im sure you already know

                  secondly. is it really true that you aim to get to a place of "no thought". and furthermore, is it really true that you actually get there ??

                  perhaps my confusion is around language, but perhaps other people may also be confused, so I want to take a minute to elaborate. meditation is not about "spacing out", and its not about "going to sleep". on the contrary, meditation is about a highly engaged mind. furthermore, meditation is not about controlling your thoughts. instead it is about controlling your attention. thoughts will come, that is inevitable. over time and with practice they will be less intense, less haphazard. but they will still come. The key is to not judge them. they are not good or bad. they just are. and same with you: you are neither strong nor weak, good nor bad at meditating. you just are. observe "hey, im thinking about XYZ now. thats OK. ill re-direct my attention back to my breath".

                  like I said in my above comment: there are many styles and methods - focusing on breath, on body sensation, on something visual, on a mantra, on someone elses voice during a guided session, etc. etc. Just like how you can use the food that you eat to regulate your energy, you can use different meditation styles for different things (developing concentration vs. developing compassion vs. calming down etc etc etc).

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                  • #9
                    CMF thats exactly how I usually refer to meditation: it's the practice of directing and sustaining attention on something.

                    What happens if you keep attention in one place, is that it starts straying less to others (something with the brain activity slowing down on those unfocused areas). Thats why you gain peace of mind: all other areas are unfocused on and die down, giving you control of your attention, less distractions or undeliberate switching of attention and instead it goes where you want and you gain control and clarity (the clarity mainly from removing the clutter)

                    Once you can direct your attention and are aware when it shifts, you bring it back.. the more you keep you attention on where you want it, the less it shifts to where you don't intend it to go. This makes it easier to sustain it in one place, sustain = one place and not often switching to another.

                    In short, learning to focus attention where you want, makes clutter die down by unfocusing from it, that way you gain even more control (less undeliberate attention switching) and you can sustain attention = relevant to trance

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                    • #10
                      Originally posted by pureevil View Post
                      Really interesting stuff to me. The brain is a very interesting creature.
                      I hold this view too but meanwhile I think at least in my case my fascination for the brain and spirit and the unconcious is responsible for some of my mental struggle.
                      I see this in several other guys too. People who are into mind empowering stuff like meditation, alpha waves, etc... I think they hold some beliefs about about the brain that others not. I cannot say exactly what it is yet. I guess It is something like get your brain right and everything is fine.

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                      • #11
                        Originally posted by CrassMoFuggah View Post
                        secondly. is it really true that you aim to get to a place of "no thought". and furthermore, is it really true that you actually get there ??

                        perhaps my confusion is around language, but perhaps other people may also be confused, so I want to take a minute to elaborate. meditation is not about "spacing out", and its not about "going to sleep". on the contrary, meditation is about a highly engaged mind. furthermore, meditation is not about controlling your thoughts. instead it is about controlling your attention. thoughts will come, that is inevitable. over time and with practice they will be less intense, less haphazard. but they will still come. The key is to not judge them. they are not good or bad. they just are. and same with you: you are neither strong nor weak, good nor bad at meditating. you just are. observe "hey, im thinking about XYZ now. thats OK. ill re-direct my attention back to my breath".
                        Did you not read my post? I've hardly described it as easy peasy "spacing out" "falling asleep," my posts have expressed surprise at what a very tough mental challenge it is. I've used words like "assault" and "tough mental exercise" and "inevitable surrender" haha. Falling asleep is the exact opposite, thats when you give into your subconscious and let it take over.

                        I think we're meaning the same thing with "trying to keep a clear mind" and "focusing your attention on one thing," just a choice of words I guess, they're both about managing focus. In attempting to become fully aware of and in control of your focus, you become aware of how much subconscious brain activity is CONSTANTLY trying to pull your focus elsewhere and influence your thoughts and attention outside of your control, and over time you gain increasing control over it and can identify where these subconscious influences may be coming from and thus re-direct them, eliminate them, improved upon them, fix them. This appears to be the main point of meditation, to become aware of and quiet your ongoing influential subconscious brain activity, in order to gain more control of your mind and focus.

                        I'm following the advice of a highly successful extremely grounded friend of mine, on how he has approached meditation for years. I'm not full blind here. But I'm not gonna read the Power of Now and dive into the meditation "scene," I just want to self-explore my own mind for my own reasons at this point. Its very fascinating, this whole thing. The brain is a beast!

                        Originally posted by Beckstar101 View Post
                        I hold this view too but meanwhile I think at least in my case my fascination for the brain and spirit and the unconcious is responsible for some of my mental struggle.
                        I see this in several other guys too. People who are into mind empowering stuff like meditation, alpha waves, etc... I think they hold some beliefs about about the brain that others not. I cannot say exactly what it is yet. I guess It is something like get your brain right and everything is fine.
                        Yeah I have no idea here. I'm not a hardcase I'm 38 I'm already successful at what I do and get laid as much as I need. I want to gain a bit more control over my mental processes, that's my reason for doing it.

                        I definitely agree in general, that if you're not an "action taker" already then get the fuck OUT of your mind and go take action. I can easily see meditation as a crutch. Its just an exercise to gain a bit of mental control, that's all I see it as at this time.

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                        • #12
                          Originally posted by pureevil View Post
                          Did you not read my post? I've hardly described it as easy peasy "spacing out" "falling asleep," ...
                          yea, sorry for adding to any confusion. it was not my intention to put those words into your mouth, only to use them to create a contrast with meditation being an active mental activity.

                          I think we're meaning the same thing with "trying to keep a clear mind" and "focusing your attention on one thing," just a choice of words I guess, they're both about managing focus.
                          yes.

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