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The specter of resentment

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  • The specter of resentment

    Something of which I'm sure many of you are aware, if you've read some of my earlier posts, is that I have a real problem, on occasion with anger at women. This tends to come and go, but I'm worried that I'm going to need more therapy to work it all out. I continue to wrestle with this pretty regularly, and it really fucks my day up. I don't want to spend so much time ruminating on things that piss me off.

    I am making an attempt to cultivate an air of non-neediness. I've been working to stop jumping to negative conclusions about female behavior, or obsess over 'red pill' stuff, but there are so many things wrong with women these days - so many things that are giving me a dim view of what women have to offer.

    A majority of the women who actively seek out my attention are feminists. This, in and of itself, is revolting. The fact that more and more, I'm hearing the same vapid shibboleths and buzzwords you hear from the extreme element of that political movement, coming out of the mouths of women I talk to literally disgusts me.

    Nothing kills a boner more than some chick you think is cool suddenly babbling about "rape culture," as if that's even a relevant or appropriate thing to talk about, when you're engaging with a potential sexual partner.

    I've had friends come to me with anecdotes about how they approached the wrong women and got threatened with allegations of fucking harassment. I've had friends who have told me horror stories about past girlfriends blowing up and starting a fight, and then threatening to accuse those friends of beating them if they told anyone.

    Another thing is something I've not really been able to articulate all that well until recently, because I've not been able to put my finger on what it is, since it's usually so subtle: Women are fucking cruel. Intrinsically, ineluctably fucking cruel.

    A majority of women go to great lengths to inflict emotional pain, if they don't see me as 'worthy' of them. This goes from being deliberately cold and nasty to me when I pick the wrong ones to talk to, to these sneers of disgust I get when I "dare" to look the wrong ones in the eye.

    I was at a party a few months ago, having a great time -- and some fucking woman had a problem with that. Some random bitch, who didn't know me, who I'd never spoken to, who I'd probably not even looked at, at the same party, had a problem with that.

    She went to one of the beefier friends of the host, demanding who I was and why I was allowed into the party, deliberately trying to sow distrust of me in other people so she could "turn the tide" of social proof against me, ranting on about how I was "unfamiliar." I found out about this because the beefy guy framed it as something that was hilarious and absurd, something to the effect of, "silly little thing getting all worked up over a stranger."

    Luckily, I knew the host (the only reason I showed up) and the host's friend knew who I was, but the woman who did that decided turning the dudes against me wasn't enough. She went and spread venom among the other women at the party, and the lot of them went out of their way to be nasty to me, constantly sneering their words and acting like my presence was some sort of offense that had to be endured.

    I wasn't bothering them, I wasn't harassing them. I was talking to my friends, minding my own business, and some women are so malevolent, that they'll lash out anyway at a guy in my position. I know no man who would go to such lengths to alienate, humiliate and ultimately extirpate someone from a fucking social gathering. Women are the only ones who I've ever seen capable of that kind of pettiness and nastiness.

    A friend of mine married a woman 5 years ago, gave her a kid, bought her a house, maintained a stable comfortable life for her while she went to school, and he worked 15-hour days at a plant making six figures. He helped her pay off her student debt, and kept a roof over their heads, food on their plates and subsidized extravagant vacations while she was between jobs. He found out a month ago that she has been regularly cheating on him, and now she is fighting tooth and nail, not only for the house, but custody of the kid. That friend of mine is now living with his parents and barely sees his son, so I imagine some bloodletting has already happened in the courts.

    That wasn't even the worst part. The worst part was they "had a talk" about a poly relationship. My friend knew his (now ex) wife was bisexual and occasionally bad at hiding the fact that she wanted to sleep with other men and women. "Ok, neat," my friend said, and he started talking about having an open marriage with her. He wanted to take the "logical" route and bargain out that sort of complexity into their relationship through open, clear, unequivocal communication. Can you blame him? He's a math guy and was in the military - that kind of no-nonsense clarity is what he strives for. She hemmed and hawed, and ultimately declined, because she wanted to fuck other people - she just didn't want him to be able to do the same. She wanted to play by a different, secret set of rules. I don't think I'm ever going to get to a point in my life where that kind of self-serving, duplicitous behaviour doesn't incense me.

    "Monogamy is what god intended," she said, while fucking a conga line of other men, some of whom work with my friend.

    How do you reconcile with this? I'm sure I'm not the only one who deals with these kinds of emotional and social sabotage. How do you deal with women being so shitty, so often? I'm rationally aware that not all women are as absolutely disgusting as the ones I've been fuming over in this post, but how do you tell yourselves the good ones are worth the risk of running into all the man-haters, gaslighters, manipulators, gold-diggers and uncouth, childish skanks that abound in the world?

    I sometimes try to reframe rejections, even when egregious as being "an incompatibility thing," but that is a Sisyphean effort, since a lot of the time I can't reframe something that constitutes disgusting, reprehensible behaviour as being "just an incompatibility thing."

    What's troubling me all the more about these revelations is that I'm not hurting for sex right now. I'm in demand in the admittedly small number of women who I can stand being around long enough to fuck. At least, before, when I started thinking like this, I always could rationalize this anger and resentment away with "Oh well I'm just mad because I'm not getting laid, Lololol." I can't do that now, and that profoundly troubles me.

  • #2
    your anti feminist stance sounds like you still hate women work on that dude.

    Comment


    • Voyagerrrrr

      Voyagerrrrr

      commented
      Editing a comment
      I have no problem with common-sense feminism, like women in STEMM fields, or the aspects of #MeToo that deal with shady backroom Hollywood stuff, but to just accept something like feminism in its entirety without a critical eye? The hell with that.

  • #3
    Your whole framing in this post is off. You talk like girls are logical creatures, similar to men, with whom you should reason and negotiate with. They are not. They are emotional creatures, like children or teenagers, who you influence through your words and actions to get the result you desire.

    If your dog shits on the carpet it's your fault, not the fucking dog's
    Last edited by K; 1 week ago.

    Comment


    • Voyagerrrrr

      Voyagerrrrr

      commented
      Editing a comment
      I actually came back here and re-read what I wrote, and am pretty embarrassed.

      Criticizing women for being irrational, in an diatribe written in an angry, irrational mood.

  • #4
    "grrrrrr these bitches ain't shit yo!!!" lol

    Pay attention bro cause this is something you really need to grasp to be able to get past this anger issue you have and get on with your life. And that is:

    There ARE shitty women out there. Just like how there ARE also shitty dudes out there. AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. It is what it is. Accept it.

    Take a deep breathe in. Hold it.

    Now breathe out.

    Ahhhhh. Feel better?

    Cool. Now lets get into this post:

    "Nothing kills a boner more than some chick you think is cool suddenly babbling about "rape culture," as if that's even a relevant or appropriate thing to talk about, when you're engaging with a potential sexual partner".

    I have literally NEVER had a conversation with a chick about "rape culture." This HAS to be ugly/fat women you are talking about bro, in which case, why the fuck are you engaging with them anyway. Are your standards really that low?

    "I've had friends come to me with anecdotes about how they approached the wrong women and got threatened with allegations of fucking harassment".

    Were your friends drunk and a little bit too aggressive with those women they approached? Did they not leave (and try to "persist" lol) when the girls told them multiple times they just weren't interested? Cause you see, there are no such thing as "wrong women" that will threaten you with harassing them for no reason. Your friends are def leaving out some details. This silly myth will only serve to prevent/second guess you from approaching women your interested in. "but but but what if she's one of them "wrong women???" lol.

    "I've had friends who have told me horror stories about past girlfriends blowing up and starting a fight, and then threatening to accuse those friends of beating them if they told anyone".

    Borderline Personality Disorder/Stage 5 clinger. Learn to recognize the signs so you can break up with them early on, and not end up in a potential situation like this in the future.

    "Women are fucking cruel. Intrinsically, ineluctably fucking cruel".

    Say it with me now: There ARE shitty/cruel women out there. But that doesn't mean that ALL women are intrinsically cruel and shitty.

    That crazy bitch at the party? I would have just kept ignoring her and continue talking to my friends. Maybe even turn to one of the party guests beside me, and be like, "lol somebody's not getting laid, huh" And just let her get really worked up, seeing how you don't give a fuck. Then the host would have eventually kicked her crazy ass out for bring negative vibes to the party.

    And that thing about your friend and his ex-wife? Aye not sure if you heard. But Imma let you in on a little secret: Hypergamy don't give a fuck if you paid off her student loans and maintained a comfortable life for her.

    Loyalty is not in a woman's best interest.

    Read The Rational Male.

    peace.

    Comment


    • #5
      There are all kinds of women (well, people in general) out there. A while back I've been wondering why I would know so many women (at least one guy too) who've been abused/raped before. At first I thought perhaps there really are simply so many and they trust me so they tell me what they won't tell other people. I considered they might just wanted attention or something, too, but some of those were actual rape cases, so I guess they hadn't invented that.

      Anyway, without going into detail why (it's connected to my family history), I was kind of attracting those people into my life. Or rather, I was "filtering" them in. Until I've realized and dealt with the cause for that filter, which was a necessity for growth. Now I still meet women who've been raped before every once in a while (it seems to happen quite often in general), but I've noticed a significant drop after I dealt with my own issue connected to the topic.

      Now if you meet a specific type of woman (or people) so often that you notice it, you might want to think about why you meet those types of people that often. Usually it's because your own behaviour/talking/thinking fits well with those people, so you "attract/filter" them.

      I've met a few really weird women in my life, so they are out there, a few average ones and quite a few very kind and caring ones, especially lately, so my general behaviour now seems to attract/filter those a lot nowadays. How about yours?

      Jester

      Comment


      • #6
        I’ll add in my two cents.

        Angry women seem to be a long time forte of mine. Slinks off me now that I’ve been doing this for so long.

        Two weeks ago I was drinking at cactus club, “mind you I was hammered as shit” and ended up getting seats beside two chicks.l with my friend.

        Thirty minutes of conversation later the one chick said I don’t like you. And I was pissed LoL, here I am working my eight hour days, having my shitty enough situation of life to deal with and then you make some snarky comment about not liking me.

        and then ten minutes later she made a comment like “he doesn’t even care!.!.!.!

        I wish I could remember what I was talking about or specifically doing to trigger her. I wish I also could remember if I actually gave a fuck. But I imagine I hit a point of trauma somewhere on her and that’s what made her sour. I am pretty good at that.

        which I’m also not going to say was a coincidence that she was thirty, but yeah miserable women who hit the wall 2019.

        You have to remember that the average chick is sleeping with so many guys and she is getting burned out by 99% of them at some point or another. I find the truism our fathers were trying to explain “One mans trash is another mans treasure” pretty much was made to sum up women.

        Saw this thread on 8chan
        https://8ch.net/pol/res/12638609.html
        Is this all in my head? You don't
        move like a normal girl - Normal girls
        don't look like that, not in their eyes
        or the way you orchestrate my butterflies

        Brett McGibbon

        Self improvement isnt anywhere near as powerful as making her tingle lol

        PUA

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TahFeqo1iiU

        Comment


        • Voyagerrrrr

          Voyagerrrrr

          commented
          Editing a comment
          That thread is illuminating, but I find I have to take this 'red pill' and or /pol/ stuff in small doses, or it just cranks up whatever resentment I feel toward women.

      • #7
        Back in 2002 we had a list of 'AFC tendencies' that one needs to work on as part of recovering from being afc. The tendency to 'listen' (and react) to some of the things girls say, was on that list.
        Im not saying you are being AFC here. Nor that your emotions were unfounded. What Im trying to say, is that this skill of seeing petty things for what they are, rather than letting them get to you, can be a HUGE asset in many aspects of life.

        Comment


        • Voyagerrrrr

          Voyagerrrrr

          commented
          Editing a comment
          Indeed. I'm beginning to see that is the root of all of this hand-wringing I find myself doing. Sweating the small stuff. Letting stupid, petty crap get under my skin and sabotage me.

          I've been thinking about how to combat this sort of pettiness on my end, and I thought about getting more into mindfulness, just to become aware of when I start to run whatever "default" mental programming I run, when I end up in situations where women do little petty things to get under my skin, and I overreact.

          Part of this, and I mean this is a root issue, is that I feel a little threatened by women in their prime. I feel like they're judging me - constantly.

      • #8
        Originally posted by ijjjji View Post
        Back in 2002 we had a list of 'AFC tendencies' that one needs to work on as part of recovering from being afc. The tendency to 'listen' (and react) to some of the things girls say, was on that list.
        Im not saying you are being AFC here. Nor that your emotions were unfounded. What Im trying to say, is that this skill of seeing petty things for what they are, rather than letting them get to you, can be a HUGE asset in many aspects of life.
        This has been my problem as of late. Every little thing was getting to me to the point that I was constantly reacting. I have been practicing breathing exercises and reserving judgment. The second you react to something, you are giving merit to what ever it is. If it is of no consequence to you, you will remain unaffected by it. The non reactive state is the pure state.

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