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Challenge Complete! Approach 20 women (Attn: Pure Evil)

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  • Challenge Complete! Approach 20 women (Attn: Pure Evil)

    Ok guys, here are my results from the "Do 20 Approaches" challenge given to me by Pure Evil.

    Gotta say, not much happened. It was more or less uneventful and par for my usual. I tried mixing some things up but I have no idea what I'm doing, and it shows.

    A few issues I had were:

    - Nervousness/nausea/low confidence
    - rejecting girls without approaching them/deciding I wouldn't approach a girl based on age
    - not approaching girls if I lingered too long (the "3 second rulke" actually made me miss more approaches because I wouldn't approach if I missed the window)
    - Feeling like if I approached a girl in front of other people it would be socially unacceptable and result in backlash and ape-shit behavior from onlookers. Kept me from approaching many times.

    and, of course
    - conversation/hooking/creating attraction

    Before Pure Evil gave me this challenge, I had done 2 already. Those are posted at the end as "Bonus Approaches".

    Here we go:


    #1 Girl looking at books

    Me: Hi. I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi [From now on, referred to as "open"]

    Her: *smiles, timid voice* Oh, thank you. *looks back at book and puts it down*

    Me: Yeah so, wanna grab coffee?

    Her: *smiles, blushing, still timid voice* No *shows me ring* I'm actually married

    Me: It's ok, that honestly doesn't bother me. Still wanna grab coffee? *as I said this she blushes more and smiles bigger*

    Her: *looking down* No...

    Me: Ok, have a good day


    #2

    Me: open

    Her oh thank you *she was reading a book*

    Me: Sure. Wanna grab coffee?

    Her: No, I'm actually meeting some friends

    Me: *whisper, disappointed tone* oh, meeting friends. ok, seeya

    Her: It was nice to meet you, have a nice day


    #3 MILF

    Me: Him, how's it going?

    Her: Good and yourself?

    Me: Good, thank you. I just saw you and thought you were cute so I had to say hi.

    Her: *starts falling all over herself* Oh thank you!

    Me: *hold out hand* Sarge

    Her: I'm [name] but *holding onto my hand almost apoloigetically/sympathetically* I'm married, I'm so sorry.

    Me: *smiling/smirking* That's ok... my condolences though.

    Her: *laughs*

    Me: Actually that doesn't even bother me.

    Her: Oh ok but I... yeah I'm faithful to my husband so... [ I call bullshit!]

    Me:Not a problem, take care

    Her: *still falling over herself a bit* But thank you... for the... compliment...

    Me: No problem


    #4 Rude/Angry Milf

    Me: open *extends hand*

    Her: Hmmm... interesting.

    Me: *mocking her a bit* yessss, isn't it... I'm Sarge by the way.

    Her: *angry but shakes hand* Ok Sarge, I'm H

    Me: Awesome. So what's up?

    Her: *exhasperated* What's up? I'm shopping! That's what's up!

    Me: *laugh* I can see that, but hey, wanna grab a coffee?

    Her: *angry* Absolutely not! I'm shopping and then I'm going HOME to my FAMILY!

    Me: All right, well, have a GREAT night. *smarmy smirk*

    At the end, she leaned in with her face quite noticeably. But by then I had decided to leave. Not sure if it meant anything anyways, but I thought I should mention it*


    #5 Curvy & Big Tits

    Me: open

    Her: Oh! Thank you! *blushing and laughing a little/nervous*

    Me: Yeah so... wanna go for a drink?

    Her: I'm actually *looks down at ground* not single...

    Me: That honestly doesn't even bother me, still wanna grab a drink?

    Her: *hesitates, still blushing* ... if you mean as friends, then sure, but otherwise...

    Me: *thinking* ... we can start as friends, sure.

    Her: *struggling* I... I dunno, that just doesn't sound appropriate, sorry.

    Me: It's ok, take care

    Her: But thanks, for... saying hi to me...


    #6 Latina with face like a man

    [Needless to say I didn't realize till she turned around, but by then it was too late!]

    Me: Open

    Her: *Looks away and huffs* Bless you

    Me: *stick out hand as she walks by* Sarge

    Her: *keeps walking. I'm about to just leave when she turns around

    Her: I just... my head... i have so much to remember, and I'm late, blah blah blah

    Me: Take care.


    #7 Yoga pants

    Me: Excuse me. I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi.

    Her: What do you mean?

    Me: I wanted to say hi and thought you were cute

    Her: *smiles* oh, hi... *looks back at book*

    Me: *stick out hand* Sarge.

    Her: [name] *strong hand shake, she goes to pull it away, I'm not forcing it but I'm not retracting either and she shakes again*

    Me: That's a strong handshake you got there, are you in business?

    Her: Yes I am actually.

    Me: *smirk* I knew it... by the handshake, I could tell...

    Her: Yeah people say I have a strong-

    Me: *cutting her off, we kind of started speaking at the same time* wanna grab...

    Her: - hand shake all the time...

    Me: Yeah I'll bet, you wanna grab a cup of coffee?

    Her: No, I'm actually married

    Me: That doesn't bother me. So, wanna go?

    Her: No, it bothers ME.

    Me: Okj, take care

    Her: Thanks for etc.


    #8 Doctor

    *she was returning books at the library*

    Me: Excuse me.

    Her: *huge smile, very open energy* Hiiii!

    Me: Hi, how's it going?

    Her: good, and you?

    Me: Good... I thought you were cute and had to say hi.

    Her: Ohhh... *turns around, returning books* thank you.

    Me: Sarge *stick out hand*

    Her: *takes hand, firm shake, she does all the work* [name] *smiling*

    Me: Cool, so what do you do? [Don't know why asked this, just seemed right]

    Her: What do I do?

    Me: yeah

    her: Well, I'm a doctor.

    Me: Really? That's pretty cool. Tell me something doctor-y.

    Her: Doctor-y?

    Me: Yeah you know, something I couldn't just google because I could just google it and pretend to be a doctor you know.

    Her: Hmmm, ok well, I'm studying obsteretics.

    Me: *think I knew what it was but wasn't sure, so waited*

    Her: that's like pregnancy, though I'm sure you could look that up on google.

    Me: Ah yes.

    Her: I'm also studying [some bizarre technical lingo]

    Me: *raise eye brows* there, see? That's one I don't know, good job.

    Her: *laughs* thank you

    Me:Yeah, so hey, you wanna get a drink?

    Her: No... I'm actually married with 2 kids, that's why I'm returning the books.

    Me: And I don't care, seriously. Wanna grab a drink?

    Her: No, sorry.

    Me: All right, take care *leave*

    Her: But uh, thanks for blah blah blah *I tuned out and kept walking*


    #9 Liump Library Girl

    Me: open

    Her: *stare* what?

    Me: I thought you were cute, and had to say hiiii *dragging out the words in a sort of "don't pretend you didn't hear me" way*

    Her: oh.

    Me: *stick out hand* sarge

    her: *grabs hand* I'm A

    Me: ok... A *dragging her name out because she's dragging the whole thing out. was testing rapport break technique from Chase Amante* Soooo...? What are you dooooing?

    Her: Books

    Me: uhuh... wanna grab a drink?

    her: no

    Me: have fun *leave*


    #10 Artsy Girl. 10pm Wal-Mart

    Me: Excuse me...

    Her: *huge smile* Yes?

    Me: I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi.

    Her: *puts down item she was looking at back on shelf, still smiling* Oh thank you.

    Me: Sure. *stick out hand* Sarge.

    Her: I'm [name], nice to meet you.

    Me: You too. *she is doing all the work in the handshake* That's a crazy handshake too.

    Her: *laughs* thank you.

    Me: yeah, crazy glasses too.

    *We talk about her glasses for a bit. why she doesn't wear contacts etc. eventually it comes out that she's into art, so we talk about art. she's a co-owner of some art thing, which sounds cool. We talk like that for a bit, things are going well and she's still smiling, giving strong eye contact, and fully facing me with her body [while I'm slightly turned away], so I say:

    Me: But hey, wanna grab a coffee?

    Her: *bigger smile* I'm good.

    Me: Ok... *expectantly*

    Her: But thanks for asking

    Me: ok... *still expectantly*

    Her: I DO have a boyfriend so...

    Me: And I don't care, what else you got?

    Her: Well I care

    Me: ok... *expectantly again*

    Her: You seem really cute and everything but I have to say no.

    [That's my cue]

    Me: All right, have a good day. *abrupt turn and leave*

    My guiding principle: Do not reward bad behavior.


    #11 Legs

    Me: open

    Her: Oh! *laughs* Thank you!

    Me: Yeah, Sarge *extend hand*

    Her: *shakes* [name]

    Me: Cool, so what's up?

    Her: *looks at book like she doesn't even know what it is* Me? Just chilin'

    Me: Just chillin eh? Me too. *notices book title* The Nest? Huh... Anyhow, wanna grab a coffee?

    Her: I can't, I actually live in [city] and am leaving right now *lies*

    Me: Ah, fair enough. Take care.

    Her: Yeah for sure. it was nice to meet you!

    [Incidentally, I DID see her still poking around the books later, so she was definitely lying]


    #12 Asian chick

    Me: open *nervous. she looked like alina lee*

    Her: oh, hi. Nice to meet you *shakle hands*

    Me: Yeah. what's your name btw?

    her: oh *flips hair, she's blushing a bit* [name]

    me: cool, so what's up?

    *we talk about mother's day etc. she's got a new job but I didn't inquire. prolly should have. anyhow eventually I ask*

    Me: so, wanna go for coffee?

    Her: Can't I have to study, maybe next time.

    Me: Ok, give me your number

    Her: *laughs, flips hair* no, my boyfriend wouldn't like that

    Me: I don't care.

    Her: *laughs* no, sorry.

    Me: Ok, take care.

    Her: But thanks blah blah blah

    [The sad part of this is after turning around there was the cutest brunette. but she was too close to the asian girl to approach her*


    #13 leggy babe 7/10 face tho

    Me: open *a bit quiet, stuff in throat*

    her: oh thank you, I'm flattered.

    *we shake hands.*

    Me: What you up to?

    Her: shopping,

    Me: I can see that, what for books?

    Her: picture frames actually

    Me: Ah, picture frames. for the memories

    Her: exactly

    Me: cool, well, wanna grab a coffee?

    Her: it's tempting but I have to decline

    me: and why is that?

    her: because I'm married

    Me: *burst out laughing. couldn't help it* I'm not jealous, it's ok. so, wanna grab coffee?

    her: *looks down as if considering, then says no, sorry, but thank you, I'm flattered*


    #14 Milf with family of 5

    Me: open *long hand shake. I ask her what she's up to*

    her: definitely shopping for my family of 5

    me: that doesn't bother me, wanna grab coffee?

    her: no, but thanks


    #15 Warm and Friendly

    me: *walking towards her and she towards me* Hello.

    Her: *smiles* hi.

    Me: how are you?

    Her: good, and you?

    me: Good. I thought you were cute and had to say hi.

    her: awwww, thank you *the "awww" made me change a bit to try and be a bit standoffish cause I figured I was coming on too beta.

    Me: sure *stick out hand* sarge

    her: *takes hand* [name]

    Me: *still holding hand* awesome, so what's up? *at this point I let go of her hand which is bad because I feel like I could have kept it up. she was offering no resistance* I then lean against a shelf leaning away and talk to her*

    Her: me? Just killin time.

    Me: kjillin time? yeah, me too.

    Her: *inaudible*

    Me: classes?

    her: no, spin class

    me: oh? what's that?

    her: like a workout on the bike.

    me: oh that';s cool. but why don't you do that with a real bike?

    her: because I don't have one yet and I like the pumping music.

    me: ah, right on. are you part of a group workoput then?

    her: no, by myself.

    me: oh right on! Those group classes drive me crazy *she laughs* it's like, I'm trying to workout and theyre so loud and annoying *I cringe and make a motion to plug my ears wioth my fingers*

    her: *laughs* yeah, that's me.

    me: *confused* but I thought you said you weren't in those.

    her: *forget what she said, if anything, but then she asks me what I'm chilling for*

    me: oh, sales. I do sales in about... *thinking* an hour I think

    her: oh yeah. around here?

    me: no, which area is trhis?

    her: [area]

    me: yeah no I'm in [other area], so like to the north a bit.

    *we talk about the areas for a whiole and stuff, then I pitch instadate*

    me: hey you wanna grab coffee?

    her: I think I'm good...

    Me: oh?

    her: yeah. I start my class in a little... *taking phone out of purse* half an hour? yeah.

    me: all right, well take care.

    her: you too, it was nice to meet you.


    #16 Mixed Feelings (mine)

    [So I saw this girl behind a book shelf, the way I had to go to see her could be considered lingering. But I didn't know if I wanted to approach or not. Anyhow, by the time I got a good look at her face, I had decided she was too old, but I made the approach anyhow to not look like a wimp/pussy because I know she was aware of me.]

    Me: open

    her: oh, thanks *blushing a bit. we shook hands but she looked back at the shelf and looked like she was antsy to leave*

    me: so what's up?

    her: just shopping

    me: oh yeah?

    her: yup. just shopping and just visiting.

    me: wait, visiting the store or the town?

    her: the town

    me: oh cool! where you from?

    her: *at this point she's facing me and giving me good eye contact. my EC wasn't the greatest. I still look her in the eyes but it's like I am looking through her instead of into her*

    her: I'm from [province]

    me: wait, say that again.

    her: ... [province]

    me: it doesn't sound like it. you don't have the accent.

    her: *looking back at shelf* yeah I do

    me: no because I worked with some guys from there for a whiole and they had strong accents

    her: *facing me again* were they from [area]?

    me: I dunno, but they would always say "bye" [some weird slang term which is, near as I can tell, a mixture of "buddy" and "guy". In a sentance: I was at the gas station the other day and bye tells me I have a flat tire]

    her: yeah that would be from [area] then. it's a valley area.

    me: really, eh? and a valley? how is there room for a valley? that's such a small island.

    her: *forget what she said*

    me: huh, well hey wanna grab a coffee?

    her: I'm good *getting this response a lot, lol*

    me: are you?

    her: yeah.

    me: all right well have a nice day *leave*

    her: You too! It was nice to meet you etc.


    #17 Skinny, Tight GILF

    Saw this woman and knew she was too old but couldn't help it. Far too hot.

    Me: Open *stick out hand*

    Her: *laughs, grabs hand, keeps laughing and profusely telling me thank you etc. she's clearly overwhelmed. Doesn't let go of my hand for a LOOONG time*

    Me: So what are you up to?

    Her: Oh, just looking at books *still smiling huge and laughing joyously*

    Me: *looking at books about wine and cooking* Oh? Wine is it?

    Her: No, cooking. Italian food *shows me her book*

    Me: Oh cool, like meat balls and stuff. That's awesome but hey *as I say this she starts to walk away* wanna grab a coffee?

    Her: I can't.

    Me: Can't? Why not?

    Her: Well for one, I'm happily married.

    Me: *blank stare*

    Her: For another I'm on my lunch break and have to get back soon.

    Me: Ah, I see.

    Her: Yeah but thank you, I really appreciate it!

    Me: Do you?

    Her: Yes I do. Thank you.

    Me: All right, take care.

    [end]


    #18 Asian teeny bopper with braces

    Me: Open

    Her: Oh, thanks *faces me with her body but is in between te4xting on her phone.

    *we shake hands and I ask if she wants to get coffee*

    Her: Oh no, I have to get back to work.

    Me: Oh yeah? Where do you work?

    Her: At the hospital

    Me: Oh i see... nurse?

    Her: No, I work in the respitory assistance (or something like that) department.

    Me: Oh cool. Well we could still grab coffee, what do you say?

    Her: Well I have to do errands too.

    Me: You can do them later, coffee?

    Her: No, not this time.

    Me: All right, take care.


    #19 Artsy MILF

    Me: Open

    Her: *Big smile, strong eye contact, her body is still facing the shelf tho* oh thanks! I'm flattered.

    *we fumble for a bit on the intro. we're talking over eacdh other at times, trying to understand. I ask if she's nervous and say it's ok, it happens, eventually we get into a rythm*

    Me: So what's up?

    Her: Just looking for books.

    Me: oh yeah, cool. *noticing her coffee cup* I see you have coffee there, but wanna join me?

    Her: No I have to get back to work soon.

    Me: Oh I see, where do you work?

    Her: I'm an admin assistant.

    Me: I've heard of those, no idea what they do tho.

    Her: Basically we take orders and calls and do filing or computer work.

    Me: That's crazy. Well, have a good day.

    Her: You too.


    #20: Blonde Teen

    Me: Open

    Her: Oh, thanks *unenthused, no change in body language, we shake hands but it's weak on her end. She's looking at the shelf periodically. Turns out she's about to go back to work as well. She has coffee, I ask if she wants to jopin me, she says no. Very unenthused. I just give up and leave gracefully, though she turns to look at me when I do, maybe she was surprised at how much it didn't phase me, I dunno. Usually when girls want me to go away, they won't even acknowledge my goodbyes*

    Anyhow, there you have it.



    Now the Bonus Approaches (which were done BEFORE PE's challenge):



    #1 Brunette MILF

    Me: Excuse me

    Her: *turns to see me*

    Me: I thought you looked interesting and had to say hi

    Her: *fake (?) humility laugh* Thank you.

    Me: Sarge *extend hand*

    Her: I'm R

    Me: And that's an interesting name too

    Her: *Laughs*

    Me: So what's up?

    Her: I'm actually on my work break so don't have time to chat

    Me: *like the social retard that I am* Oh I see. Your hair is very gypsy-ish though. (I know, let's all cringe together :P )

    Her: I gotta run.

    Me: Take care


    #2 Bookstore. 9pm. I walk in and see an asian, so I approach

    Me: Hey, I thought you looked interesting and wanted to say hi.

    Her: *smiles, puts down book abruptly*

    Me: Sarge *extend hand*

    Her: I'm [name]

    *we shake hands*

    Me: So, what brings you into [store][ this evening?

    Her: Well *looks over at tiny asian guy and motions towards him* I'm here with my boyfriend and I'm looking for a new book before the new semester.

    Me: Wait... are you still in high school?

    Her: *concerned face* No... no university.

    Me: Oh *laughs* I see

    *She laughs too, releived I think. I touch her back as she does. Honestly the vibe was really chill. I think I could have gone somewhere with this but the BF nearby was too much*

    Me: Well, I don't want to risk getting killed by your boyfriend *she laughs* so I must leave.

    Her: *as I'm leaving* ok, it was nice to meet you!

    Me: you too.
    Last edited by SargeMaximus; 05-05-2016, 09:16 PM. Reason: had to add a few points for the "issues I had" section

  • #2
    Firstly congrats on those approaches! I'd go insane personally lol
    when reading these I recognize you're trying direct approach and all but there were a few girls you could've gotten numbers,if you built rapport and been patient. The pattern from my pov is you rush trying to insta date without bantering sometimes..Idk maybe I'm missing something. If girl is looking at books talk about the book, go into what's her favorite genre, segway into adult books and build sexual tension like "you know..I've read this book called the secret garden and it really opened my eyes to desires of women." Something like that and get her invested then at a high point insta date or get number. Try that out SM

    Comment


    • #3
      You probably getting rid of aa by now, which is fine and you can open, fine, but the post opening is kind of bad...

      I am going to give you a sales analogy you go from opening to kind of close (grab coffee),

      salesman:So i a have this beautiful car i am selling? do you like it
      clients: looks decent
      saleman: lets go to the office to sign paperwork

      ^ that dude will not close shit...

      my point is you need to be learning from your approaches, and adjusting, not just doing things and going through motions.... With that being said the "bike girl" had some potential... Also the approaches come across as kind of boring, no flirtiness, no jokes, no touching, no content...

      Is like watching a movie the first part of the movie and then jump to the end of the movie, no matter what movie it is it would suck...(unless a porno)

      work on putting some banter and content and witt, the coffee is not working... Maybe a daygamer can give you some content,that you could follow with a bit more structure...(I posted a video with the structure gll follows in another of your post)

      Comment


      • #4
        Let me chime in real quick, before people pile on too much. No time for a post regarding the OP, I've only seen the replies.

        The point of this was simply an exercise in trying multiple approaches per field test before reporting back (which the OP has not been doing), with the most direct attempt possible since that's what he said his goal is. The point was to fail because you can rarely be that direct, it's a first hand lesson in the need for banter and game (whether scripted or off the cuff, doesn't matter), along with the OP experiencing the repetition of actually doing 20 approaches per field test before reporting back.

        I'm on my phone and only have a minute or I'd link to the thread that led to this challenge to give it context.

        This was step 1, the most basic possible starting point as a learning exercise. Next 20 approach challenge needs to incorporate some more game, which hopefully the OP will be more receptive to after this experience.

        Sarge - great stuff for getting the 20 done in a timely manner! Good job.

        Comment


        • #5
          I enjoyed reading this. You are actually a pretty funny dude Sarge, and you have some big balls. No doubt if you keep at it and tweak things as you go, you will get what you want. Also nice job on the documentation. This took a lot of work.

          Sounds like there was a decent chance with #5, just had to be a little more ambiguous.

          A couple suggested tweaks:

          -See what happens if you don't introduce yourself or shake hands. Try to get the rapport going first. Just see what happens. See if she will ask your name or tell you hers first...
          -Try to get some "vibe" going before suggesting a relocation. I noticed as the report progressed, your interactions got longer. You will get better at the small talk with experience, so try waiting to propose an instadate until you have some rapport. Otherwise she will probably say "no", then you're kind of sunk.

          Are you having fun? I think that is a critical component to charm...to have a kind of infectious feeling of fun about you.

          Nice work man.

          PS. I still think if your immediate goal is to lose the v card, the fastest way is to unwind at a bar with a couple of drinks and go for a standard drunk hookup.

          Comment


          • #6
            Awesome, great writeup. You have no shame! (I'm guessing a bit of autism but the flip side is no AA, which is good.) Any advice I would give would be complete KJ, I never tried anything that direct.
            I do have a question, though: what if one of them would have said 'yes' to the coffee invitation? What then? You would have had to connect, converse, vibe, etc. Why not do a bit of that before asking them to go have coffee with you? The coffee invite should be a reward for something special you just discovered about them, not just the initial cuteness. The way you were doing it, it almost feels like you were fishing for rejections.

            Comment


            • #7
              Thank you all for your interest.


              Originally posted by ColonelKurtz View Post
              I enjoyed reading this. You are actually a pretty funny dude Sarge, and you have some big balls. No doubt if you keep at it and tweak things as you go, you will get what you want. Also nice job on the documentation. This took a lot of work.
              Thanks man. I appreciate that. I never know how I'm doing so to have someone comment on what I'm doing is always welcome, especially when it's praise of some kind.

              And yeah, lots of work. I tried to be as quick as possible when writing after each approach but it definitely started to get to me.

              Originally posted by ColonelKurtz View Post
              Sounds like there was a decent chance with #5, just had to be a little more ambiguous.
              Yeah that's a hard one for me. I tend to see things very black and white. Though doing exercises like this really help me gain perspective.


              Originally posted by ColonelKurtz View Post
              A couple suggested tweaks:

              -See what happens if you don't introduce yourself or shake hands. Try to get the rapport going first. Just see what happens. See if she will ask your name or tell you hers first...
              I've tried that, doesn't really go anywhere. I think I rely a lot on structure, and when I don't shake hands or introduce myself, I feel very lost and uncomfortable. Sometimes I'm even speechless. If I knew what I was going for, I could ease up though.


              Originally posted by ColonelKurtz View Post
              -Try to get some "vibe" going before suggesting a relocation. I noticed as the report progressed, your interactions got longer. You will get better at the small talk with experience, so try waiting to propose an instadate until you have some rapport. Otherwise she will probably say "no", then you're kind of sunk.
              I hear you. I just don't know what "vibe" is in regards to pick up. Like I said, I don't know what I should be trying to create/accomplish. It helps to have a general idea of what you should be doing, you know? Maybe it's just me, but I don't even talk unless I have an outcome in mind.

              Originally posted by ColonelKurtz View Post
              Are you having fun? I think that is a critical component to charm...to have a kind of infectious feeling of fun about you.
              Kind of, not too much. I'll have more fun when I can get girls into better states and compliance, guaranteed. Right now, it's kind of a chore to be honest.


              Originally posted by ColonelKurtz View Post
              Nice work man.

              PS. I still think if your immediate goal is to lose the v card, the fastest way is to unwind at a bar with a couple of drinks and go for a standard drunk hookup.
              I plan to get a hooker, actually. But thanks, I think. :P



              Originally posted by Sase View Post
              Awesome, great writeup. You have no shame! (I'm guessing a bit of autism but the flip side is no AA, which is good.)
              Oh I had AA. Really badly some times. I felt like I was going to throw up, faint, was trembling some times while talking to the girl. Crazy shit. I just pushed through it is all, and eventually it dissipated.

              As for autism, yeah I have some aspects of myself on the spectrum, but I don't actually register. I was tested a while ago for it. :P


              Originally posted by Sase View Post
              Any advice I would give would be complete KJ, I never tried anything that direct.
              I do have a question, though: what if one of them would have said 'yes' to the coffee invitation? What then? You would have had to connect, converse, vibe, etc. Why not do a bit of that before asking them to go have coffee with you? The coffee invite should be a reward for something special you just discovered about them, not just the initial cuteness. The way you were doing it, it almost feels like you were fishing for rejections.
              This is a good point, however I don't think you're aware of the fact that I actually DID have an instadate last year (cute little 19 yo from iran).

              I get that vibing is important, and it's definitely something I need to learn because I just don't naturally do it.

              It's funny you frame the instadate that way though, because I always saw it as reward her agreement to the instadate with vibing. :P

              And I'm not sure why you think I was fishing for rejections. I gave most of these my all. I just don't have the skills/tools to make anything happen right now. That's why I'm on this forum, to learn stuff. More specifically, stuff that works for me.

              Comment


              • #8
                You say not much happened, but between #1 and #19 (#20 was just , well, not going for it so whatever), I noticed that things were lasting longer and the chicks were responding more. I call that an improvement, at the very least you were warmed up and getting further.

                What I noticed here is that you just go straight from talking/rapport/banter and abruptly into "wanna grab a coffee?". I agree with Sase and Skills360 that talking a lil bit more before the coffee invitation might be helpful. Just a couple of minutes, and on a high note, get her to drink coffee.
                ock.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by SargeMaximus View Post
                  ...Oh I had AA. Really badly some times. I felt like I was going to throw up, faint, was trembling some times while talking to the girl. Crazy shit. I just pushed through it is all, and eventually it dissipated...
                  Then it's Kudos X 10! I'm impressed.


                  This is a good point, however I don't think you're aware of the fact that I actually DID have an instadate last year (cute little 19 yo from iran).

                  I get that vibing is important, and it's definitely something I need to learn because I just don't naturally do it.
                  ..................
                  And I'm not sure why you think I was fishing for rejections. I gave most of these my all. I just don't have the skills/tools to make anything happen right now. That's why I'm on this forum, to learn stuff. More specifically, stuff that works for me.
                  What i'm asking is: if a woman said "yes" to the coffee date, what would you have done next? You'd have had to talk about something, right? What was your plan for when they said "yes"? Wy not do that before you ask her to formally have coffee with you?
                  ... It's funny you frame the instadate that way though, because I always saw it as reward her agreement to the instadate with vibing. :P...
                  That's right, the instadate is the reward for her being cool, smart, interesting, classy, crazy, or special in some other way (in any other way than cute. ) Don't reward her agreement to date you, you don't want to make that into a favor she's doing for you (pedestalizing.)

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by ockwick View Post
                    You say not much happened, but between #1 and #19 (#20 was just , well, not going for it so whatever), I noticed that things were lasting longer and the chicks were responding more. I call that an improvement, at the very least you were warmed up and getting further.
                    Thank you ockwick, that means a lot to me coming from you. Is it wrong that I got a bit teary-eyed from that?

                    Like I said, I just don't know if I'm doing good or not, so having these objective opinions are awesome and I'm starting to believe in myself because of all this feedback.


                    Originally posted by ockwick View Post
                    What I noticed here is that you just go straight from talking/rapport/banter and abruptly into "wanna grab a coffee?". I agree with Sase and Skills360 that talking a lil bit more before the coffee invitation might be helpful. Just a couple of minutes, and on a high note, get her to drink coffee.
                    ock.
                    K well that's what I gotta learn I guess. bantering and ending on a high note.

                    Originally posted by Sase View Post
                    Then it's Kudos X 10! I'm impressed.
                    Thanks man.


                    Originally posted by Sase View Post
                    What i'm asking is: if a woman said "yes" to the coffee date, what would you have done next? You'd have had to talk about something, right? What was your plan for when they said "yes"? Wy not do that before you ask her to formally have coffee with you?
                    I dunno, it depends on the girl. Prolly go deeper into what we were talking about. Ask more questions while adding kino. I don't really know.

                    I guess I could do that but I dunno, I have this fear that the conversation will go stale (has in the past) if I just keep asking questions and shit like I was.

                    Banter is so boring lol.


                    Originally posted by Sase View Post
                    That's right, the instadate is the reward for her being cool, smart, interesting, classy, crazy, or special in some other way (in any other way than cute. ) Don't reward her agreement to date you, you don't want to make that into a favor she's doing for you (pedestalizing.)
                    How is rewarding good behavior an indication that the good behavior was a favor?

                    If I give a dog a treat for doing a trick, how am I pedastalizing him? Isn't it the same? I'm confused. :/

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by SargeMaximus View Post
                      Thank you ockwick, that means a lot to me coming from you. Is it wrong that I got a bit teary-eyed from that?

                      Like I said, I just don't know if I'm doing good or not, so having these objective opinions are awesome and I'm starting to believe in myself because of all this feedback.
                      Not wrong at all to shed a tear. As long as it was as manly tear. lol. You know, 14 years ago when I started out in this, I also was a virgin with very little experience with women (but a lot of positive feedback from girls in high school and university, just never jumped on it, it "never happened" like I had been led to believe it should just happen, etc). So it's good to see someone coming in and learning this thing, and hopefully evolving faster than I did



                      Read the following, it's an excerpt from Maniac High's "notes from the diary" however his current site isn't up to date, glad I downloaded his whole website a couple of years back lol (EDIT: latest uncorrupted version on the Wayback Machine: http://web.archive.org/web/201005161...ckupguide.com/ )

                      Essentially, I'm posting this here in response (once again) to your comeback when they say they're married.

                      e.g.
                      Originally posted by SargeMaximus
                      Me: open *long hand shake. I ask her what she's up to*
                      her: definitely shopping for my family of 5
                      me: that doesn't bother me, wanna grab coffee?
                      her: no, but thanks
                      Can you identify, after reading this, why your comeback isn't the best comeback you could reply with?

                      Originally posted by ManiacHigh_in_2002
                      -->More on chicks not logical..
                      Because chicks are following feelings rather than logic, they will do
                      many unpredictable things if you are trying to analyse them from a logical
                      perspective (hint: it won't work!).

                      Chicks (will for the most part), do what 'feels nice' and avoid what
                      'feels bad' (totally irrespective of whether doing that or not is in
                      their rational best interest or not). This explains why girls go for
                      'bad boys' like abusive armed felons with mile long criminal convictions
                      while shunning the guys who would take good care of them and provide them
                      (until they are old, want money/security or worry about getting married).

                      Now you may think this is bad, but it is not, because once you know that
                      this is happening, then a chick *can* be analysed logically, and your
                      PU plan adjusted for this. A nice guy can set everything on what is
                      'feeling good' (rather than what is the 'right way', which to a chick
                      is *irrelavent* anyways).

                      That is what the Maniac Plan basically does, it gears everything on the
                      chicks feeling, and what feels 'natural', and links that to action.

                      This means that a chick may want to see you (but feel rushed), know she
                      has only 1 chance, but then blow it. Then she will want to see you again,
                      but then won't make any opening (that requires logical/strategic thinking,
                      which chicks cannot do) to allow you to try again and get her out (and
                      she wont ask you either..that requires courage, which chicks don't have).
                      Rather she will just stay at home and mope why there are no good guys
                      (or why you didn't go out with her).... chick logic, fuck...

                      As an aside, this also explains why chicks tend do make such crappy
                      managers in the business world (if you are a student.. just trust me,
                      you will find out in time how this is true, in spite of all the
                      feminazi bullshit that is fed in colleges these days). There is (very
                      little) long term logical thinking going on, and whatever of it there
                      is, often it is superceded by decisions based on feelings (which not
                      surprisingly, like the example above, tend to be the wrong ones).

                      That reason (more than any other imaginary ones they try to feed you
                      as excuses in college), is why the 'glass ceiling' exists.


                      -->Chick logic and the 2 brains theory
                      It is entirely rational (to a chick), to tell that chick 'lets be
                      good friends' and then give her a deep KC. Lots of chicks do this (after
                      the KC set up is done though of course). Now this is totally illogical
                      and inconsistant to any rational thinking guy, but it does make sense
                      if you look at it as following:

                      Chicks in their heads have 2 brains. One of them is the 'guard'. It is
                      the one that says 'we are just friends' or 'this is too fast' or 'I
                      just want to talk today'. That brain just talks. For the most part,
                      you can ignore what a 'talking' brain is saying. The other brain
                      is 'behind' the talking brain. This one controls body movements, kino,
                      body language, eye contact. This is the brain you want to reach, and
                      is the brain that will take over once sex starts (the talking brain
                      will shut up at this point).

                      This may sound nutty, (and it does to be), *but*.. IT IS ABSOLUTELY
                      TRUE, and experienced PUAs will tell you it is as well. If you look
                      at chicks this way with regard to what happens in a PU, everything will
                      start to make far more sense.

                      For example, when you say something to a chick, both brains listen.
                      For the most part, the back (body language) brain is like a guy (wants to
                      get fucked, have wild sex and fun), the front (talking) brain does not
                      want sex, and will *say* whatever is necessary to avoid it.

                      When you talk to a chick, both brains listen. The front brain will
                      talk with the mouth (usually no, or LJBF), and the back brain may
                      in SOME CASES act opposite (I have had cases where the front brain
                      will say LJBF, while the chick (via the back brain) was lunging her
                      tits at my face... needless to say, fucking her was no problem in the
                      end).

                      So when you do PU, ignore what the chick says with her words, but
                      watch what she does with her body/EC. That won't lie. If Kino/EC/
                      body language is cold.. then next chick. But if the chick is saying
                      'no', but smiling and heavy on the kino... you can usually ignore the
                      'no' and move forward until the body language gives a stop/slow signal
                      (which may never come, and the fuck happens in 5 minutes).

                      Also note that alcohol will tend to impair the front brain, but not
                      the back one. This means that when the opportunity arises, use
                      alcohol liberally. (warning to those living in the fascist USA..
                      courts make the man responsible for grown adult women's behavior
                      regarding sex (fuck knows why.. more femenazi bullshit I guess), so
                      if you use alcohol, have her buy her own drinks, or go shag chicks
                      in some other country and let the American women stay single.

                      Finally, the 2 brain theory explains why chicks reject so many
                      'good guys' and go after the 'bad ones'. The good ones usually are
                      listening to the mouth (WRONG), while the bad ones are watching
                      either the body language or at worst nothing (and the chick GETS OUT
                      OF THERE if she is not comfortable). That is why, esentially, nice guys
                      finish last.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by ockwick View Post
                        Not wrong at all to shed a tear. As long as it was as manly tear. lol. You know, 14 years ago when I started out in this, I also was a virgin with very little experience with women (but a lot of positive feedback from girls in high school and university, just never jumped on it, it "never happened" like I had been led to believe it should just happen, etc). So it's good to see someone coming in and learning this thing, and hopefully evolving faster than I did
                        Yeah that's the same as me. Had lots of attention/attraction from girls but could never do anything with it. Definitely looking to change all that.


                        Originally posted by ockwick View Post
                        Read the following, it's an excerpt from Maniac High's "notes from the diary" however his current site isn't up to date, glad I downloaded his whole website a couple of years back lol (EDIT: latest uncorrupted version on the Wayback Machine: http://web.archive.org/web/201005161...ckupguide.com/ )

                        Essentially, I'm posting this here in response (once again) to your comeback when they say they're married.

                        e.g.


                        Can you identify, after reading this, why your comeback isn't the best comeback you could reply with?
                        Well, obviously, because I'm talking to her talking brain. But I can't very well ignore her talking brain and pull her to the bathroom so... what to DO instead of responding to her talking brain?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by SargeMaximus View Post
                          Well, obviously, because I'm talking to her talking brain. But I can't very well ignore her talking brain and pull her to the bathroom so... what to DO instead of responding to her talking brain?
                          No shit you don't do that lol!

                          That's what a lot of the material is about

                          You talk to her right brain, bypassing the left brain, or confusing the left brain

                          You do that by, if I'm going to sum up Gun's long post about attraction ( http://www.pua-zone.com/showthread.p...l=1#post126274 )

                          1) projecting your sexuality, non-verbally, through your body language, eye contact, tone of voice, and eventually closeness and touching;
                          2) talking about topics of emotional value rathe than logical value (a lot of Maniac's material is about that, old-skool SS deals a lot with that, Gunwitch's immersion and emotional stimulation does that, other people's "story-telling" or "talk about your passions or hers" do that, etc)
                          3) all in a frame where you are at least of equal social value to hers, ie no supplication, be calm in her presence, don't let her "grab" the frame AKA you lead the interaction and not her..

                          Whew. That's probably a lot to learn. Take it a lil bit at a time, don't try to learn all at once. You're getting better at approaching and not creating instant bad reactions, which is a good big step!

                          Like I mentioned in a previous thread, don't give her such a sudden, direct choice, about going for coffee with a complete stranger. Sometimes you need to just plain ignore objections, sometimes you need to accept it and continue anyway

                          (your attitude that "it doesn't matter" is great, however throwing that verbally at her gives her something LOGICAL to put up walls, so it's not a good idea to mention it directly, IMO, at least not until you can judge whether it's ok or not. So far, it hasn't been ok, so perhaps best not to, and perhaps best not to so immediately ask her for coffee, unless perhaps, let's say, you combine it with a high note, some investment on her part already, some emotions already being pumped into her brain... makes sense?)

                          I'm not telling you all the steps all at once because it would take me days to write everything and be complete and you'd still want more. I'm trying to point you in a certain direction, from which you can search for materials and methods, and others can complement with their own input and experience of course..


                          ock.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Ok... Fine... if you are going to ignore my "sage" advice and keep hitting on married women... Let me show you how to do it.

                            1. Screen for a ring... If there is no ring approach with you look cute or interesting or what ever... If there is a ring do not comment on her looks or use the word look. The male gaze is sexual and by commenting on her looks or your looking at her, you are going a bit direct. Married women need to be approached more subtly.

                            2. Open with a situation based comment... With the idea in your mind that you just want to befriend this woman and if all that happens is you make a friend that is fine.

                            3. Try to get an actual conversation started about somting not just a bunch of robo-comments. In your case I think this probably means taking cues from her.

                            4. Don't ask her to coffee... Say I am getting some coffee after we buy these books do you want one?

                            5. If she says, "sorry I am married," do not say,"I don't care," that is very aggressive. Say I know, I saw your rock... (Smile)... I am just making friends, I do that often... Every thing is fine..."

                            6. If she sits with you and has coffee try to get her to tell you personal things about herself with out being obvious... Listen. People love to be heard, then do your best to be charming. Now begin to try a little bit of 60's sexual vibe... and see how she reacts.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Sarge, congrats on this... I know it was tough. Forcing yourself to follow a method the first time tends to bring AA back strong. Hopefully you see the reason for something (effective) to say after your approach. I mean, now you have thoroughly field tested the alternative

                              For one, you can get pretty far by asking her where she's from, then putting a creative spin on it... I met a girl yesterday who was from a small town near Toronto. I told her she probably grew up around cows and chickens... tongue in cheek... she obviously did not... but the bubble followed quickly.

                              Originally posted by The Thin Man View Post
                              ...
                              This is an iteration of my day game these days... I have far more wiggle room with situation based comments.

                              In fact yesterday I ended up bouncing a 20 year old journalist student out of the quaint bookstore to a hip student bar across the road... I was angling to take her for a walk and pass by some of the exterior paintings then suggest she see some of mine.

                              But her best friend showed up in the bar, she had just finished her shift and was bored, and wanted to see the interesting guy her friend just met. So now I had to charm two instead of the one. No matter, 10 minutes went by, then 20 minutes, then half an hour. Perhaps they loved me too much? Somewhere in my mind told me to go for the threesome... but her friend could probably break my bed in half by sitting on it... so I was very hesitant to do so.

                              30 minutes in I was literally hoping, praying she eventually leave... or her friend (my target) would hint that she should... but nope. The three of us ended up wandering downtown together for a few hours. What a drag.

                              When it comes down to it, girls suck at logistics

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