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women holding eye contact at you big time but going cold on the approach (part 2)

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  • women holding eye contact at you big time but going cold on the approach (part 2)

    So, this is just a continuation of a thread started a few years ago here:

    http://www.pua-zone.com/showthread.p...on-(club-game)

    If you have no idea what im talking about, better to skip this thread. This is a nightclub game situation, and fairly common in Europe.

    Essentially, you'll be making solid eye contact with a girl (multiple times) and she'll be looking at you strongly, then nervously look down and away, but still turning to look at you again..maybe 6-7+ times, and she'll hold the eye contact and get charged sexually looking at you, and you'll assume for all intents and purposes its fuckin ON, only for her to go completely cold on the approach. And no, this isnt unavailable women, this is women who are on the market and women who are "at a distance" away from you, so you cant approach them right away from a single look either.

    Example could be: making eye contact with a girl at the other side of the bar (assuming a 2 sided bar where you can see people opposite you). The eye contact goes on for a while as you both look to be served at the bar. She looks away nervously but looks back at you many times, she might have a sly smile or you feel her energy getting charged from the eye contact. You also feel the sexual tension building and you know its fuckin ON. You see her again somewhere else later and the eye contact and tension ensues...she keeps looking at you intensely and the magnetism and vibe is ON. You then approach but then she goes completely cold or seems to fob you off strongly. This then makes a guy confused because they thought she was totally into them.

    Here's some new understandings on this which I think might be useful, and will help explain why they go cold:

    1. She's in a different headspace and not ready to come out of it yet.

    The women is enjoying the intense eye contact between you two. She is feeling empowered and stronger as a woman because of it and is feeling your strength because you are able to hold the eye contact and create high levels of sexual tension. So, to take her out of that headspace before she is ready will have her going cold. When you approached her, you took her out of that headspace suddenly before she was ready to accept your approach. So, a better idea is to keep doing your thing and occasionally look at her to maintain the tension, until you get a better sense that she is ready to be approached.

    Also, a good idea is to back up your eye contact with a secondary or third signal - for example, licking lips, scratching your arm, playing with your hair. And see how she responds to that. Does she just keep staring or does she reinforce things? If she is just staring she is in a neurotic trance of sorts that is enjoying the eye contact without necessarily being ready for you.

    Getting multiple signals from the girl will give you more information to work with. For example, licking your lips at a girl generally gets them to lick their lips back..

    Its these subtle communications and communicating with them subtley that allows them to feel more comfortable with your interest in them too before they're ready to be approached..otherwise they can go cold.


    2. Concentrate on non-verbals for the approach.

    Because she's making intense eye contact at you doesnt mean she will respond immediately to conversation. By the staring, she is giving a primordial instinctive response that she is enjoying, so its better to focus on the non-verbals to compliment those feelings she is already enjoying.

    Also, the intense eye contact is making her feel empowered from your display of strength (by holding the eye contact and building the tension), so any approach you do should compliment this primordial display, which comes from the non verbals. You cannot easily display primordial activity through conversation of itself..its a non verbal thing. Verbals is a neocortex brain activator whereas eye contact and non verbals are limbic brain activators.

    This is exactly why guys can be talking to chicks, having everything seem to be going perfectly, only for her to makeout and go home with a random guy on the dancefloor..because non-verbals is generally king.

    If you go in with verbals, what you'll find is she gives another primordial display to you (ie she goes cold on the approach). She was expecting you to operate primordially by non verbals but you misinterpreted her completely and went in with verbals which doesnt work in this situation.

    To open non verbally - you could for example take her arm physically or go for the makeout right away. This is a display of primordial activity. A mistake I made last night was going to sit down next to a girl that was staring at me big time..because that takes her out of her headspace completely and into a conversation mode which is not what she wants..The women feels empowered by being in a intense eye contact trance if that's the type she is.

    Not all women will want to go into these huge eye contact trances with you obviously so thats not the type im talking about, so this is just a small subgroup of women. But the ones that do are enjoying the eye contact and its making them feel empowered..they like strong men who can display high levels of primordial strength.


    3. Don't assume just because she is holding intense eye contact and keeps looking at you, that she's more interested in you than a girl that only makes fleeting eye contact.


    We might think that just because the girl is staring at us and holding the eye contact, that somehow its a slam dunk case and that she is extremely into you, or will be an easier deal to close, but that's not necessarily the case at all. A woman who can make extremely strong eye contact tends to be a stronger woman, and you generally have to be a stronger man to make it work. A woman staring at you needs to be played carefully because she is in a certain sort of trance.

    Though its true to say that you're definitely getting validated and they do find you highly attractive.

    So, those are just new thoughts on that above thread.

    Thoughts/comments?
    --------------------------
    Key lessons:
    - The brain is a bullshit feeder
    - People don't exist in the way you think they do
    - Early rising makes a world of difference

    My journals:

    Sexual game journal
    Fundamentals journal
    Club game approaching journal
    Brain programming journal

  • #2
    -Yeah EC can actually go fuck itself, if you ask me Completely unreliable!
    -The alternative: #39
    -Help me vote it into HoF!
    (I think it was Stargazer who called it 'stumble' over girls. I'm sorry I dont have link to his post about it though.)
    Loves: Shy Girl-coding into Starry-eyed Extroversion, spamming Open-loops and Mini-cold-reads and lots of light kino.
    Hates: Putting pressure on others. Things that feel 'brainy'.

    Comment


    • #3
      Alright, this just happened last night again!

      Pretty good looking european blonde, major eye contact on the dancefloor. I was standing at the side and licked my lips at her a few times too - she seemed to hold the eye contact so I knew it was on

      Got in, tried to dance with her a little, got a major fob off lol....kinda annoying if im honest as I thought it was a done deal

      Later on in the smoking area she hovered right next to me lol lol lol as I was talking to another girl - even though she'd effectively shot me down before...very bizarre:

      But, in hindsight:

      1. I should never have tried to dance with her..I just took her hand basically..if shes been eyeing me up big time its not exactly a big move then to take her hand on the dancefloor? But obviously in this case it proved counterproductive

      I should have just chatted to her to break (her ice), I honestly thought the set was wide open as we were making good eye contact and I reinforced that with tongue play

      Basically, trying to dance with chicks on the dancefloor is for idiots..its not a good idea...it simply doesnt work that well in the uk and its too hit and miss to know who will be receptive to you taking their hand dancing with them etc. So, its better to just stick to conversation

      People keep saying dancefloor is about non verbals and you "can escalate easily" but thats chronic bullshit man. First of all, she has to be receptive to it and you dont know who is from off the bat. In the UK this kinda just escalating on chicks without convo doesnt work so well

      Your much safer off having a conversation first on the dancefloor and then taking her off there to isolate

      TBH, its really fuckin demoralising...its so lame. If your checking me out, why the fuck go cold like that?? Its just so fuckin lame that it just shows how little substance a lot of people in clubs have. But..it is what it is
      Last edited by Impulse; 01-01-2017, 02:12 PM.
      --------------------------
      Key lessons:
      - The brain is a bullshit feeder
      - People don't exist in the way you think they do
      - Early rising makes a world of difference

      My journals:

      Sexual game journal
      Fundamentals journal
      Club game approaching journal
      Brain programming journal

      Comment


      • #4
        I don't have any problems dancing and taking a girls hand. I rarely ever get the fob off. I usually invade her space, start squatting and swaying up and down her body, and then take her hand.

        I think you are reading too much into eye contact. In fact, I don't like reading into anything a girl does any more, because it generally doesn't mean fuck all. Unless my dick is inside her, I am skeptical of every signal she gives out.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by hey_lover View Post
          I don't have any problems dancing and taking a girls hand. I rarely ever get the fob off. I usually invade her space, start squatting and swaying up and down her body, and then take her hand.
          Interesting what type of venues are these?

          Are you going to high end clubs, or salsa/dancey places?

          Or dive kinda bars?

          I think you are reading too much into eye contact. In fact, I don't like reading into anything a girl does any more, because it generally doesn't mean fuck all. Unless my dick is inside her, I am skeptical of every signal she gives out.
          Yeh I think your right...even ijji and a few others said dont waste time thinking about eye contact...I make it a lot with girls (probably made solid eye contact with about 20+ women tonight). Sure, a lot of that will be interest, but some will just be eyes meeting naturally

          And verbal is of course king
          --------------------------
          Key lessons:
          - The brain is a bullshit feeder
          - People don't exist in the way you think they do
          - Early rising makes a world of difference

          My journals:

          Sexual game journal
          Fundamentals journal
          Club game approaching journal
          Brain programming journal

          Comment

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