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  • Social dance scenary and dating

    Any one of you guys do some sort of social dancing? Salsa, Swing, Bachata, etc.

    I'm back! I've been gone for almost a year I think? Actually PUA ended up taking a back seat this year and I had an epic low lay count this year because I got so into dancing. I still had a few fun flings but I didn't rack up a count like I usually do (I'm definitely a thrill of the chase / new lay type of guy)

    I got knee deep in my local salsa scene, against the advice of the likes of skills360. I actually fucking love dancing and turns out I'm very good at it -- I should have started a decade ago. Before I started,
    the advice given to me by the regs here was 'you're better off going to a regular nightclub and sarging there' and you guys were right in many ways.

    About 6-7 months into dancing (I'm a year in now) I became one of the popular dancers. (top 20% of the male leads will get 80% of the attention) The hobby itself is fucking wonderful. You connect in ways you wouldn't have imagined with someone you are dancing with. Its a blast. And I admit I love the looks I get from admirers, feeling like I'm the king of the dancefloor (depends on who else is there, of course lol), all the mild innocent drama that comes with it, and all the feelings flying around.

    I see a lot of potential. There is a new girl interested in you, wanting to hang out even if its just to have a dancing buddy. In fact, you'll start having a fan club of sorts. If I didn't hate hanging out with girls all the time I'd have a huge group of female friends. For me so far, it has been a great way to expand the pool of potential lays and relations way past my typical range of chicks. I'd like to convert some of these girls to lays and possibly relationships. I want to focus on women again for the remainder of this year and next year.

    My objectives: 1. Use this hobby for a source of lays 2. Don't blow myself out of the dance scene by developing a repuation

    I typically don't try to date salseras, especially the ones that I've identified as a regular. These girls are there for the same reason as me - To get tons of attention and feeling the king (queen in their case) of the dancefloor. Despite this, I went out with a few of them but none of them have panned out because the dynamic is so different from the typical online gaming and random pickups that I am used to. I also want to figure out a good way to manage it so that I don't self destruct in the scene from any potential fallout drama.

    I have some internal problems too. Early on in my dancing I met another dancer, then ended up with a accusation situation from a girl I had been seeing on and off. Really left a bad taste in my mouth and I stopped dating for a few months after that. Also, I'm having problems with aversion to chasing. Somewhere in my mind I know I can find another girl to go out with, so I end up not putting enough effort to the current interest.

    My gut says this will be a regular social circle game, with an endless source of new potentials due to my hobby. I should not game multiple girls who know each other, and in fact, I should work on one girl at a time. I've had on more than one occasion get cock blocked by someone I went out with (or slept with) before, or have her stare at me sadly from across the floor and make me feel bad.

    Things I've learned and observed so far:
    - unless you are ridiculously good looking you aren't shit unless you can dance
    - ultra regulars who you see every week are pretty much off limits. These girls are here for the same reasons as I am - dance with as many good dancers as possible
    - most girls who seem interested in you are slightly below your skill level
    - girls who just started getting really into dancing are probably the best targets - they haven't learned to isolate dance feelings from real life feelings yet
    - on the other hand, girls who haven't really figured out if they are going to be part of the scene or not should be treated as any other person.
    - latinas in my area have a very traditional view of dating. Strangely, the minority groups in my area don't assimilate that much to general society and retain a lot of their original values. Catering to this goes against my core dating values (I hate the whole 'I take care of you like this so you take care of me like that' dynamic this creates) but I think in ways this makes them easier. Fortunately, the latin dance scene here is very diverse.

    Things I'm doing in the scene (good and bad)
    - I've managed to avoid being labeled as 'that guy who is only here to meet girls,' women have less of a guard around me. I've been watching guys who do the opposite of this and there are definitely negative consequences to behaving this way.
    - I've become a guy that a lot of people know and talk to, but i'm not really 'in' any sub-circles in the scene. Most women find me a bit mysterious and display a curiosity towards me. I must learn to use this as an advantage
    - I hate dance dates. In my natural state I am a dance butterfly, and I like to dance with every girl who looks fun to dance with at least once. I've discouraged numerous girls who thought they were on dates with me (e.g. blew myself out of the water).
    - I always let girls send me invitations (e.g. strong IOIs) for me to make the first move. In other words, I let them make the first move.
    - Suppressing ego. There are always better leads out there and I will never be the best dancer they've ever danced with. However, chemistry is real and someone who loves dancing with me really does love dancing with me. Don't let this bother you because it will only serve you in negative ways, especially since gaming should be treated separately from what happens on the dancefloor


    Things I should do
    - I need to chase a bit more. Stop getting dating ADD just because the next girl wants to go out. Especially if I am going to limit myself to one or at most 2 girls to go after.
    - I should ease away from 'don't date salseras' mindset and keep an open mind
    - Isolate serious dancing a bit more from gaming. Don't cockblock myself because she sucks at dancing.
    - Learn to recognize when girls just love dancing with you or wants something more.

    I know this is a bit of a core dump of my observations so far but I'd like to know how you think I should model my system to achieve my goals. If you have specific experiences in this type of scene, I'd love to hear about that. Any suggestions or criticisms are welcomed as well.
    "A human life gains luster and strength only when it is polished and tempered."

  • #2
    This confirms what others said about PU in the dance society!
    https://nextasf.com/forum/nextasf/li...bby-next-to-pu
    It puzzles me you still want dance clubs to be your *main* PU arena...

    Im still intrigued about dance club social games though, as I want to start dancing this fall, but had to postpone due to injury.

    Comment


    • #3
      wowow! what a great post and break down, everything you described is exactly why i advice against it... But is just me, here is your key word:

      I'm back! I've been gone for almost a year I think? Actually PUA ended up taking a back seat this year and I had an epic low lay count this year because I got so into dancing. I still had a few fun flings but I didn't rack up a count like I usually do (I'm definitely a thrill of the chase / new lay type of guy)
      For me this is "social circle" type game, and as you noticed what i said everywhere that you have to court women...

      Now as night clubs are kind of dying (inconsistent)... Latin clubs are still going strong, i just don't like the whole environment (though women more fun and hotter)... For me is kind of boring and toooooooooooooooooooo slow the seduction, but i see you enjoy it a lot..
      Sexting, my unique natural game, aggressive dance floor seductions, 15-20 minutes hook ups in clubs. Learn the proper way to maximize your results in a club type environment, check out my blog and youtube clubbing channel:

      www.dancefloorseduction.com









      Comment


      • #4
        Yeah, its really not the most time efficient way to do it. I seriously got laid way faster when I was on tinder all the time and felt bad from all the rejections going out at regular bars and clubs.
        But i spend so much time dancing now that I want to try and shift my attention to combining the two activities.

        One interesting thought
        My roommate went down to SoFL a few months ago, thinks I should spend a lot of time there. His words 'you would kill it with your dance skills'

        Over here in my city there are latin clubs where girls are there to actually meet dudes - these places tend to be more catering towards latinos, instead of catering to a more hardcore dancer crowd. More casual, but still playing tons of salsa, bachata, etc instead of being another reggaeton club.

        Based on my experiences dancing in other cities without a heavy O.G. latino influence, most cities tend to have events that cater to serious dancers (dance studio people etc).
        I'm gonna venture a guess that SoFL has a grounded super heavy cuban influence so it should have tons of these clubs where you can actually pull girls much like normal clubs, and this is what my roommate meant. I *think* an easy way to tell is 1. girls are actually getting pretty drunk at the venue 2. venue still plays real dance music. I wont go after girls who are super drunk though.

        This might be useful for me when I'm traveling, but not here. I already know all the events and venues in town.
        "A human life gains luster and strength only when it is polished and tempered."

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by FRwestk View Post
          Yeah, its really not the most time efficient way to do it. I seriously got laid way faster when I was on tinder all the time and felt bad from all the rejections going out at regular bars and clubs.
          But i spend so much time dancing now that I want to try and shift my attention to combining the two activities.

          One interesting thought
          My roommate went down to SoFL a few months ago, thinks I should spend a lot of time there. His words 'you would kill it with your dance skills'

          Over here in my city there are latin clubs where girls are there to actually meet dudes - these places tend to be more catering towards latinos, instead of catering to a more hardcore dancer crowd. More casual, but still playing tons of salsa, bachata, etc instead of being another reggaeton club.

          Based on my experiences dancing in other cities without a heavy O.G. latino influence, most cities tend to have events that cater to serious dancers (dance studio people etc).
          I'm gonna venture a guess that SoFL has a grounded super heavy cuban influence so it should have tons of these clubs where you can actually pull girls much like normal clubs, and this is what my roommate meant. I *think* an easy way to tell is 1. girls are actually getting pretty drunk at the venue 2. venue still plays real dance music. I wont go after girls who are super drunk though.

          This might be useful for me when I'm traveling, but not here. I already know all the events and venues in town.
          ok and here we go with your next problem which is polarization, cause those latin girls are not really that much into "white" guys.. so don't know if you will do as good as your friend says... All that latin dancing does not translate well too "regular clubs", which is why i laugh at the typical pua advice "learn salsa" a waste of time if you ask me, same with bachata...(2 moves from each is all you need the turning were he hand behind your neck, and the leg between tights you see in most of my videos, that is it) for regular clubs that is.


          p.s. i recently hooked up with a salsa dance instructor that was into me, i totally blew it, cause of my aggressive style, which i did not care, cause i am telling you that courtship bs they expect is a total turn off to me...
          Sexting, my unique natural game, aggressive dance floor seductions, 15-20 minutes hook ups in clubs. Learn the proper way to maximize your results in a club type environment, check out my blog and youtube clubbing channel:

          www.dancefloorseduction.com









          Comment


          • #6
            Don't shit where you eat. (you already know that.)
            Dance is a major turn on hobby and elevates your value in the eyes of girls who are outside your dance scene.
            Date strangers and if the right song comes on ("it just happened") take her to the dance floor. Make her feel like a goddess (if you're as good as you say you are) then compliment her on her moves and how right it feels being with her (the dance will probably be disappointing to you, but try to feel what she's feeling. Acknowledge and appreciate arousal.) Then take her home... Wash, rinse, repeat. Dance could be the atomic bomb of kino but don't make it the bread and butter of your seduction.
            I know what you mean: dance has killed my libido too. A magical three minute romance on the dance floor, with a matched partner is better than mediocre sex (or months of boring relationships.)
            There is more but I gotta get to (swing) class.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Skills360 View Post

              ok and here we go with your next problem which is polarization, cause those latin girls are not really that much into "white" guys.. so don't know if you will do as good as your friend says... All that latin dancing does not translate well too "regular clubs", which is why i laugh at the typical pua advice "learn salsa" a waste of time if you ask me, same with bachata...(2 moves from each is all you need the turning were he hand behind your neck, and the leg between tights you see in most of my videos, that is it) for regular clubs that is.


              p.s. i recently hooked up with a salsa dance instructor that was into me, i totally blew it, cause of my aggressive style, which i did not care, cause i am telling you that courtship bs they expect is a total turn off to me...
              Its probably different where you are. Over here, they are definitely into guys outside their race.
              But I agree, the courtship expected is a huge turn off for me.
              There's enough interest from girls not like that from the scene that makes me want to explore this a bit more. I'll give it maybe 6 more months of concentrated effort before I call it quits and go back to regular sarging.

              I agree, 'learn salsa' really isn't good PUA advice. At most you chase and court a girl all year and after some top dancer has banged her a few times and got tired of her, you end up in a monogamous relationship because you got oneitis. But if you are gonna spend the effort learning it because you like it for what it is, then go for it. I still believe there is an area of unexplored niche that I can take advantage of. For sure it will take a lot of careful maneuvering to avoid self destructive levels of drama however (I already went through one with that accusation chick)


              Originally posted by Sase View Post
              Don't shit where you eat. (you already know that.)
              Dance is a major turn on hobby and elevates your value in the eyes of girls who are outside your dance scene.
              Date strangers and if the right song comes on ("it just happened") take her to the dance floor. Make her feel like a goddess (if you're as good as you say you are) then compliment her on her moves and how right it feels being with her (the dance will probably be disappointing to you, but try to feel what she's feeling. Acknowledge and appreciate arousal.) Then take her home... Wash, rinse, repeat. Dance could be the atomic bomb of kino but don't make it the bread and butter of your seduction.
              I know what you mean: dance has killed my libido too. A magical three minute romance on the dance floor, with a matched partner is better than mediocre sex (or months of boring relationships.)
              There is more but I gotta get to (swing) class.

              I mean yeah, the first part of your post is something all dancers love. The kino part doesn't really translate over that much, not like kinoing a non-dancer at a regular top40 type club. These girls are super used to the dance kino and get kino'd by 20 other guys that same night. Either whoever persistent chump gets her but more likely no one takes her home that night.

              I def feel ya on that libido thing. Also, it does fulfill a huge part of sex - the ego - for me. Feels fucking awesome having girls wait for their chance to dance with me. I even love the drama from a girl wondering why I don't dance with her much anymore, or a girl semi-fighting over me for a dance, etc. Fuck! I didn't realize I'm this much of a divo until I got good at salsa.

              I'm still horny enough where I need that release but having a 5-6hb FWB is 'good enough' for now. But I want to try to use this popularity to move up to 9-10s that are usually close to impossible for me.

              The potential to develop this into a social circle game is real. I'm going to give it a real shot and report back to you guys.
              "A human life gains luster and strength only when it is polished and tempered."

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by FRwestk View Post
                ... The kino part doesn't really translate over that much, not like kinoing a non-dancer at a regular top40 type club. These girls are super used to the dance kino and get kino'd by 20 other guys that same night. Either whoever persistent chump gets her but more likely no one takes her home that night....
                Yup, exactly. That's why I said "Date strangers... etc." By strangers I meant non-dancers, women outside the scene (from online/day/night/social game. ) Sorry I wasn't clear there. For a non-dancer, the one dance when you made her feel like a star is more likely to stick in her mind forever. For dancers it's not a big deal. They feel like you do, they're there for the dance.
                Not saying dipping in the dance circle is impossible but it didn't work for me. I dated a dancer about five years ago. The whole group expected me to get serious with her (read "monogamous"). The instructor stopped talking to me, etc. I ended up quitting the class. If you make it wok let me know how you did it.
                Also, I'm really there for the dance not PU but... being that close to beautiful women moving their bodies to music, under my lead.. it fucking tugs at the strings of my heart sometimes. Now and then they do get to me. Hope it gets better as I gain more experience.

                Comment


                • #9
                  nice honest writeup.

                  Below some inspiration from how i do i these days - pick what you like.
                  - in SC game like these - reputation is alfa omega, which means in my own scenes i am super discrete. i always extract girls from venues "unnoticed" (many people sense something about it but it adds to the mystery), and use discretion frames w her. some call it slow game, i just pipeline girls up and have a steady flow of girls through it. in other cities i go more bad boy, obviously cause im temporary and the girls hunt that - see it as a potential "free" stranger fuck
                  - learn the suave ways of dancing - after a year youre prob very technically focussed and doing a lot. this is typical. Could be wrong but its quite the normal route. if you wanna get her - do less but amp upcertain more suave vibes and feels. Focus on quality of your lead in a few select moves to beging with.follow the music when it slows down and use it for sensual intimate feelings. move close in. do small soft moves where you move her perfectly and suave in the music. this will immerse her alot more and become somewhat orgasmic/deeper joy than the energy in performance type dance. Allow the space to do its work. work double tiempo movements. use ec and tension eg when you move her towards you or in the moments where you peak at her etc. this layer is key and is basically applying principles of microescalation to the dancer as you are in an excellent position for body energies, tension etc to do its magic. more intimate elements is key eg forehead to forehead spinning or side head to side head. moving your face/lips close around hers seemingly by coincidence etc etc.
                  - use general arousal type game as the girls will see you a lot and the space will work them by itself. Let them burn slower and see you. in short, be the continuous arousal to them, use under the radar microescalation instead of anything else, create this burning arousal in relaiton to you all round. time will make them slowly chase you even if scared in the beginning. you have time so injecting this is key - hovering w. seualvibe is key, never breaking ec is key, sexual listening and sexual tensioniseky,various masculine posings, comfort talk.

                  since youre often continuously seeing girls you can add this slowly over time, add other frames and grow the connection to one of wanting, respect, arousal, comfort around you and a clear mental space of freedom in relation to your from frames. all you then need is to provide the little opening nonchalantly and she can hoop on.

                  proces description:
                  1) First time i meet anybodyand any hot chick im neutral as fuck , just basic talk polite stuff and ok attention giving - like a normal cool guy would(not arrogant but emphatic andconfident at core), then exit. no active disinterst. just neutrality. Might add tension to give her that mmmph but i keep it nonsexual. she just needs to feel my power. im very nice here and socially super calibrated.
                  2) Then she sees me with others over time- she starts lurking at me. I use room game, mingle somewaht, starboy around , and display of value a lot. i dance amazing and makes other girls faces be immersed enjoying it which girls pickup on VERY much.Much more than techinical abilities. My biggest problem is i literally have a line of girls waiting to dance w me. i have a 2 girl set i tend to go w. one 21 and one 24 who are the prime dancers and a few cool guys.
                  3) I add in arousal type game, hoverings, paimai, suave dancing etc. she sees my eyes and gets the uh feelling , the tickeling. i kinda look trhough her and never break ec. often trhough side glances like im considering her.
                  4) i add in comfy talk mostly to bridge the energy into her feeling comfy and lover like in my presence - slow paced forward comfy based convo
                  5) extract - im heading to xxx fri,o r i was plannign to xxx, youre welcome t o join. just shoot me a text - let her chase you and continue the social frame established in her mind
                  aka you unfold and provide little openings for her to jump into

                  A friend of mine is fuckign half the girls in his dance circle. and he has events where they knowingly sit side by side having fun. He uses polyamorus frames (he is poly) but it provides a core theme of him having love for more women that they can say yes or no to. but if they say no they stick around anyhow as hes very straight with them about it. im starting to adopt some of his frames for my own usage.

                  oh and i love this way too - to actually have a core thing thats not the girls. when i talk about the 10 it is about the perfect lead and the perfect follow a quality of movement
                  Heard you not the type that you take home to mom

                  Glows Log

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Thanks, exactly what Iw as looking for. My game is naturally evolving towards that too.

                    Every time I'm direct and aggressive the girls kinda pull back, trying to get me to chase. I've been really toning it down, slowly reciprocating IOI's and it is working better. I'm learning to be super discreet.
                    "A human life gains luster and strength only when it is polished and tempered."

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      The dance part is fun, kino and interacting with women but it's much less effective for fucking them... It's called 'SOCIAL' dance meaning you have to respect traditional society rules of dating. It's a big no-no if you fuck 2 girls in that same class ... unless you've spent a massive amount of time and energy setting a poly frame, highly discreet and deeply understand social dynamics.

                      I prefer the 1-2 dates / fuck model

                      If you're straight forward / aggressive , you'll be labelled a player and you're toasted. Escalation comes to a crawling speed and the longer it takes , the less likely you are to fuck them. Is it fun Yes ... is it great to fuck ton of chicks not so much.

                      Here what worked for me , often dance schools will offer free trial classes ... take 1 or 2 here and there , amaze the chicks with your skills , number close them (as much as you can ) drop out of the class and then escalate as you would normally with any girls.

                      Try it out.

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