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  • Starting from scratch

    I went out the other night for the first time in awhile.

    Man was I intimidated! I was out in Newport Beach, which for anyone that knows is just chock full of HOT girls and a ton of good looking dudes. It's kind of like LA if you're more familiar with that.

    Money, fashion, cars... All things I don't have. I'm used to going out to small bars in a small city with average looking girls. Just the sheer hotness of all the girls around made me pretty insecure.

    All those factors just ramped up my AA and i really didn't know how to proceed. Girls have their bitch shields up at 1000% power. Couple of situational comments I made trying to start conversations were immediately shot down and I was ignored.

    I went on vacation recently and it struck me how much more friendly people are out of state. Newport Beach it seems girls are just SO hot and have so much money, and are just really stuck up, it's a rough battlefield.


    I am generally not a night gamer, I'm a mellow, lower energy dude with a soft voice. It's something Id really love to learn though.

    I CAN have alotta energy and be really outgoing, but in smaller situations w few people.

    What do you guys suggest when going out next? What's a really simple strategy I can start off with in such an intimidating area?

  • #2
    I got tips bro but actually im down to meet and sarge in newport broski how far is it from fullerton!!!!

    Comment


    • #3
      I have a feeling you will laugh at everything in this post, if you come back and read it after you have sarged that environment for a couple of months getting used to it.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by youngjd View Post
        I went out the other night for the first time in awhile.

        Man was I intimidated! I was out in Newport Beach, which for anyone that knows is just chock full of HOT girls and a ton of good looking dudes. It's kind of like LA if you're more familiar with that.

        Money, fashion, cars... All things I don't have. I'm used to going out to small bars in a small city with average looking girls. Just the sheer hotness of all the girls around made me pretty insecure.

        All those factors just ramped up my AA and i really didn't know how to proceed. Girls have their bitch shields up at 1000% power. Couple of situational comments I made trying to start conversations were immediately shot down and I was ignored.

        I went on vacation recently and it struck me how much more friendly people are out of state. Newport Beach it seems girls are just SO hot and have so much money, and are just really stuck up, it's a rough battlefield.


        I am generally not a night gamer, I'm a mellow, lower energy dude with a soft voice. It's something Id really love to learn though.

        I CAN have alotta energy and be really outgoing, but in smaller situations w few people.

        What do you guys suggest when going out next? What's a really simple strategy I can start off with in such an intimidating area?
        Two tips that I use

        When out alone I stop about when I can hear the busy areas of the nightlife, when I'm just on the edge I can put one foot in and step back and have one foot out
        This allows me to start feeling those shitty feelings, but also to start disconnecting them, disproving them and finding the right pace

        Second is, you disprove these things by not looking at them directly for a bit, you WAIT for the opportunity for you to see "wait this is easy"
        And then you walk in confident
        And in order to find out it is easy, just remind yourself of how girls melt into nice little cutsies so often with you and look for it in them


        Often those two things are enough

        Comment


        • youngjd

          youngjd

          commented
          Editing a comment
          Heyyy now Cosy I gotta interject, to say GG is not at my level would be doing him a disservice! Having seen him in person he is much better than me IMO.
          Solid advice tho. GG, hope to roll out w you soon when I get my finances fixed

        • Grodmeister General
          Editing a comment
          My man when we hit those beach bars you should be in like flynn!!!!

        • Grodmeister General
          Editing a comment
          gonna level ya up for sure!

      • #5
        This is how i used to do it

        Mindset: The venue can overtake you or you can overtake the venue. You can be a spectator or a player in the scene. Be the ball player. enter the game.

        Process:
        1) wallk in keep low attention radius
        2) say hi to the first girl you see - open with whatever - eg wheres the bathroom or anything, or a more sharp opener like oh wow you actually seem... mention whatever positive observation
        3) move to bar and lock-in properly aka preferably in a busy area, take your shoulders back and open up you body language (will affect your mood and vibe)
        4) open proximity sets sideways - potentially just throw out mini openers whats this name called, whe can i smoke, observations, mini-cold reads etc etc
        5) move around in it and when speaking to people, which makes you actve socially and make people see you & react to you
        6) open everyone - dont think about them, and dont stop - this is about YOU and feeling your on the inside of the crowd
        This will make you take over the venue and get into the mood. do it for 20 min and it can normally serve the whole evening

        it makes you active also lays out a layer of social proof around you - love system labeled this the "smoke and mirror" approach to SP

        Another - starting the momentum before the high pressure venue:
        Before you go out you can do things you want - this gives you momentum - eg eating what you feel like +1 going to the gym +2 preparing things +3 calling someone +4 just keep doing what you want despite inner resitance to mobilise the momentum+ roll. Or you can go sarge in less stress fuld enviornments or open people on the way to the venue in "light ways" to get talkative and open yourself up. Just think how you get into momentum by doing things you want but where you have to overcome a tension/inner resistance.

        once you start getting used to it you can snap into it more fast partly just by visualising doing it. Just give yourself time to train the process for your system.
        Heard you not the type that you take home to mom

        Glows Log

        Comment


        • Grodmeister General
          Editing a comment
          not a bad gameplan but if newport is like hollywood ..some of this stuff is gonna leave him DEAD IN THE WATER, value and not losing it
          is important in these enviroments(I sarge in hollywood almost exclusively) but the open people on the way to the venue is the dead on I park a mile a way and open people on the walk to the venue or hit the shitty small divebars before the big one ,hes just gotta watch his value in these places!

        • Grodmeister General
          Editing a comment
          for example.....wheres the bathroom (blown out) when or where can I smoke blown out , and social proof is never a bad idea but he gets that with lock in ...not by chatting with everyone not locked in!!! and group sets are key!!!!!

      • #6
        Originally posted by thecostofsuccess View Post

        Two tips that I use

        When out alone I stop about when I can hear the busy areas of the nightlife, when I'm just on the edge I can put one foot in and step back and have one foot out
        This allows me to start feeling those shitty feelings, but also to start disconnecting them, disproving them and finding the right pace

        Second is, you disprove these things by not looking at them directly for a bit, you WAIT for the opportunity for you to see "wait this is easy"
        And then you walk in confident
        And in order to find out it is easy, just remind yourself of how girls melt into nice little cutsies so often with you and look for it in them


        Often those two things are enough
        Thanks cosy that last sentence is the mindset I'm trying to adopt

        Comment


        • #7
          Originally posted by ijjjji View Post
          I have a feeling you will laugh at everything in this post, if you come back and read it after you have sarged that environment for a couple of months getting used to it.
          True, practice makes perfect right?

          ​I love your posts on MINGLING! I remember nights where I've been in that kinda groove. But to MAKE it happen is tough for me.

          ​​​​​​​In nightlife Im either the life of the party or a wallflower, with no real consistency.
          ​​​​​
          Any no brainer fallback openers? I'm Always lookin for that magic bullet... Ehh :/

          Comment


          • #8
            Originally posted by glow View Post
            This is how i used to do it

            Mindset: The venue can overtake you or you can overtake the venue. You can be a spectator or a player in the scene. Be the ball player. enter the game.

            Process:
            1) wallk in keep low attention radius
            2) say hi to the first girl you see - open with whatever - eg wheres the bathroom or anything, or a more sharp opener like oh wow you actually seem... mention whatever positive observation
            3) move to bar and lock-in properly aka preferably in a busy area, take your shoulders back and open up you body language (will affect your mood and vibe)
            4) open proximity sets sideways - potentially just throw out mini openers whats this name called, whe can i smoke, observations, mini-cold reads etc etc
            5) move around in it and when speaking to people, which makes you actve socially and make people see you & react to you
            6) open everyone - dont think about them, and dont stop - this is about YOU and feeling your on the inside of the crowd
            This will make you take over the venue and get into the mood. do it for 20 min and it can normally serve the whole evening

            it makes you active also lays out a layer of social proof around you - love system labeled this the "smoke and mirror" approach to SP

            Another - starting the momentum before the high pressure venue:
            Before you go out you can do things you want - this gives you momentum - eg eating what you feel like +1 going to the gym +2 preparing things +3 calling someone +4 just keep doing what you want despite inner resitance to mobilise the momentum+ roll. Or you can go sarge in less stress fuld enviornments or open people on the way to the venue in "light ways" to get talkative and open yourself up. Just think how you get into momentum by doing things you want but where you have to overcome a tension/inner resistance.

            once you start getting used to it you can snap into it more fast partly just by visualising doing it. Just give yourself time to train the process for your system.
            Taking notes for myself to field test

            STATE CONTROL PREGAME
            1)Gym.
            2)Loud music.
            3)Call buddies.
            4)Open people on the way.

            ​​​​​​GAME ON
            1) low AR. Mini bubble
            2) open first girl seen. Where's the bathroom?
            3) lock in at the bar, open BL
            4) sideways convos - where can I smoke? Cold reads (are you a dancer?)
            5) shuffle feet or sway body. Body ROCK. I love this song!
            6) self amusement. With classiness

            --Visualize whole package. Feed aura--
            ---Charm/social butterfly/smile---
            ----visualize laughing girls----


            Thanks glow!

            Comment

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