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Meditating when going out: drawing in people

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  • Meditating when going out: drawing in people

    I stumbled over this by pure chance to be honest.

    A few months ago, in my favourite place for going out, where I usually dance a lot and know lots of people, there was some pretty shitty music playing for quite a while, and no one around with whom I'd have enjoyed a conversation at the time. So I simply sat down comfortably somewhere, closed my eyes and started meditating.

    If I remember correctly, I started doing it simply to not just stand around and look stupid, but then figured out that having very loud music around sure helps me meditate. Been doing that almost every night out now, whenever I feel like it, so it's become a normal thing for me.

    The interesting thing is that after a while, random people (including many women) started coming up to me, fascinated by what I was doing, asking me what I was doing. I do this mostly because it makes me feel very relaxed and happy, but I figured you guys might want to experiment with this, too, for it seems to be a very attractive thing to many people.

    At first I thought this was just the case in my favourite place where I know almost everyone, but after going out with my cousin to a different place where I've only been before once, I figured out it worked similarily there, too.

    I'm pretty sure you can't just do this as a "technique", you know, like sit there, eyes closed, waiting for people to approach you. People might sense you'll be faking it.

    But if you're into this stuff a little to start with, and you're bored with your night out, you might want to give it a try.

    As a free bonus, you'll get some meditation practice, which helps in many other areas of life

    Jester

  • #2
    Be careful with this
    "i get attention so it must work" logic

    Lots of things will get you attention
    But remember, attention getting is NOT getting a woman into bed
    And you cannot make the leap "oh but it will"

    At times, it may

    But that is all
    Just be careful with that kind of logic
    You want to look at it as objectively as you can

    And imo, you are just indicating you have other interests and might make her curious
    Thats ok if you are chumming the water



    There is a technique used by guys who are consistent which is "feeling the venue"
    Meaning you get on the wavelength of the venue so you arent fighting its particular atmosphere
    This is what is at play in the part of this that works

    However, by meditating you are introducing two negatives
    meditating will make you space out and be light headed and not particularly sociable
    and meditating might make you look a bit like a tosser which will add scepticism during later phases of game
    the girl will start saying "but you are woo woo" and it will get shit tested

    So you up shit tests and lower your social mood


    Taking that into account, its bad to assume,

    attention + low social mood + shit tests = bedding a girl


    But you could say,
    Hey if I adjust this a bit it could be a cool attention getter?
    And in that case I'd say, for sure man
    Annd it is good to be on others wavelength
    So move it more in that direction, since thats whats found to be pretty reliable and effective regarding this idea

    Just careful with your logic
    Attention and sex are two different things
    And you dont want to get into "hypothetically I could have laid her" territory



    Just think of it this way...
    If a girl gives you attention at a party, you then say to her friends later "we almost had sex"
    How mortified and pissed off would that girl be?

    Well it is the same in pickup
    You just dont make those crazy leaps
    Because while it might seem small or trivial in your head, it is very far from trivial in reality,
    So just remember it

    Comment


    • #3
      the reason you are getting attention cause what you are doing is unusual, causation = correlation, what you are doing is getting "freak type attention"... I can go to a club and in the middle of the dance floor take a nap and i probably get the same type of attention...


      p.s. when i was going out with my meditation guru wing, not only he could not get laid but i could not get laid if i paid crack head hooker...


      Comment


      • Grodmeister General
        Editing a comment
        thank you , I wish he would stop pushing this stuff , hes getting attention cuz its weird and it I bet it demos lower value than higher value!

    • #4
      As I said, it's not a "technique" per se, and if I would use it in a "technique" way in order to get attention, whatever, it would probably backfire like shit.

      As far as I understand, what's happening is this: going out, many people around are more or less openly looking for others to connect with/hook up with. If you do what I described, you'll enter a state where you'll:
      - be very much in the moment
      - be both centered in yourself and able to observe the world around you at the same time
      - genuinely not care that much about what will happen, thus making you act much less like a whiny loser than if you would care more about controling the outcome

      Perhaps what you're imagining when I write "meditate" is sitting somewhere humming like a freak. What I mean is more about centering yourself in the moment, if you can follow the picture there. You don't have to sit doing that, you can move around like you normally would, it's just a certain state of mind people seem to recognize as something they'd like to be close to.

      I've had quite a few people (both men and women) that I've never met before coming up to me and tell me I'm the best guy they ever met. This alone doesn't lead to women coming home with me, sure, but I still found it interesting enough to share with you guys. Take it or leave it, whatever.

      Jester

      Comment


      • #5
        Originally posted by Jester View Post
        I've had quite a few people (both men and women) that I've never met before coming up to me and tell me I'm the best guy they ever met.
        You sound like Kenny Powers. It sounds to me like you have major self-awareness issues.

        The fact that you're trying to be like, "noooo, my weird behavior isn't about attention-seeking! Sometimes a guy just feels like meditating! You know... in the club." Come on dude. Cut the shit.

        You look like a tool "meditating" in the club. I promise. People are coming up to you because they think you're od'ing on something.
        Last edited by DNYC; 10-15-2018, 05:40 PM.

        Comment


        • #6
          That said I have sometimes gone to smoking areas where everybody stands and talk and in the middle of it, I would sit down on the floor and light up a smoke. Lots of attention right there, it looks weird. Sometimes I end up looking like a weird fuck, sometimes girls gets intrigued and sit down next to me. Instant social proof.

          Hit or miss.

          -Teevster
          Teevster (TVA_Oslo) AKA. Alek Rolstad

          Projects 2018:
          - Still Rocking
          - Flipping Lesbians (have sex with lesbians)
          - 10 year in PU anniversary!

          Comment


          • #7
            Originally posted by Teevster View Post
            That said I have sometimes gone to smoking areas where everybody stands and talk and in the middle of it, I would sit down on the floor and light up a smoke. Lots of attention right there, it looks weird. Sometimes I end up looking like a weird fuck, sometimes girls gets intrigued and sit down next to me. Instant social proof.

            Hit or miss.

            -Teevster
            As long as you do that in order to get people to react in a certain way, it is indeed a hit or miss thing. But that's not what I'm about here. It's about doing what you feel like doing regardless, just because I feel like doing it.

            I've noticed that in any social situation, most people feel like they have to act a certain way, which is inside what seems appropiate for that location/occasion. Many of them might not feel like acting this way, but will still do it. If you do your own thing regardless of these social norms (and I actually enjoy this meditation stuff, so it's very authentic, not a fake thing), you invite people to do what they feel like doing, too.

            It's not that they all start meditating when I do, because for most of them that wouldn't be as natural a thing to do as it is for me. But it allows them to be closer to their authentic selves, too. It kind of bypasses a lot of social norms to start with, so you'll connect with people on a very deep level very fast.

            I'm aware that this will at times kill (sexual) tension. But it establishes a form of authentic trust that can be useful if you're willing to play it slowly.

            I've met many of my now best friends in situations like this, not while meditating per se, but while following a similar general principle of just doing what I feel like doing even if it might seem weird in terms of social norms. Some of those have turned to (at times) long-term relationships over time. With some, even after those ended, we still get along great.

            @DNYC: Care to expand on the self-awareness thing? I don't fully follow you I think.

            Jester

            Comment


            • #8
              Originally posted by Jester View Post

              As long as you do that in order to get people to react in a certain way, it is indeed a hit or miss thing. But that's not what I'm about here. It's about doing what you feel like doing regardless, just because I feel like doing it.


              I've noticed that in any social situation, most people feel like they have to act a certain way, which is inside what seems appropiate for that location/occasion. Many of them might not feel like acting this way, but will still do it. If you do your own thing regardless of these social norms (and I actually enjoy this meditation stuff, so it's very authentic, not a fake thing), you invite people to do what they feel like doing, too.

              It's not that they all start meditating when I do, because for most of them that wouldn't be as natural a thing to do as it is for me. But it allows them to be closer to their authentic selves, too. It kind of bypasses a lot of social norms to start with, so you'll connect with people on a very deep level very fast.

              I'm aware that this will at times kill (sexual) tension. But it establishes a form of authentic trust that can be useful if you're willing to play it slowly.

              I've met many of my now best friends in situations like this, not while meditating per se, but while following a similar general principle of just doing what I feel like doing even if it might seem weird in terms of social norms. Some of those have turned to (at times) long-term relationships over time. With some, even after those ended, we still get along great.

              @DNYC: Care to expand on the self-awareness thing? I don't fully follow you I think.

              Jester
              OK. Best of luck.
              Teevster (TVA_Oslo) AKA. Alek Rolstad

              Projects 2018:
              - Still Rocking
              - Flipping Lesbians (have sex with lesbians)
              - 10 year in PU anniversary!

              Comment


              • #9
                Originally posted by Jester View Post
                I've met many of my now best friends in situations like this, not while meditating per se, but while following a similar general principle of just doing what I feel like doing even if it might seem weird in terms of social norms. Some of those have turned to (at times) long-term relationships over time. With some, even after those ended, we still get along great.
                You're behaving in polarizing manners which attract a small percentage of people and repel the rest. This is essentially a screening tactic for friends of similar interests, you're screening for friends who find the guy meditating at the club to be interesting.

                Its great to step out of the comfort zone and outside the social norms imposed on you, that's the very first step of the PU journey in many systems and bootcamps. So good stuff there. Once you're comfortable doing this though, the goal when it comes to PU is to 1. fine tune these "out of the box" behaviors to maximize the amount of girls you're able to have sex with and 2. fine tune your polarizing behaviors to sexually charge those who bite on your bait (in your case, public meditation is being used as bait).

                I'd encourage two things. 1. For you to step outside your comfort zone in other ways, ways that may be considerably more uncomfortable for you. You're currently doing one out-of-the-box exercise that's already on the easier side of things for you since it comes more naturally. Can you actually full-step outside your comfort zone though? That's where the greatest personal growth will be found. And 2. to find a way to sexually charge that which you're already doing. The goal with PU isn't long term "best friend" relationships, its cock in pussy. Its easy to be weird and thus attract those into weird, especially in non-sexual platonic ways. That's how every weirdo finds his friends. How can you behave in ways that actually turn hot girls on though? That's the goal and challenge here.

                Comment


                • #10
                  Originally posted by Jester View Post
                  So I simply sat down comfortably somewhere, closed my eyes and started meditating.
                  Somewhere normal, like a seat at the bar? Or somewhere wierd, like the middle of the dancefloor?

                  Comment


                  • #11
                    Originally posted by sawtoothekg View Post

                    Somewhere normal, like a seat at the bar? Or somewhere wierd, like the middle of the dancefloor?
                    Of course not in the middle of the dancefloor, now that would be kind of off. It's not a "technique" to get certain reactions from others, more like something that comes very natural to me which (if I allow myself to go through with it) seems to have very positive consequences both for me and others around me.

                    I usually chose a place where I can sit comfortably and where I'm not annoying anybody by staying there. I'm not "hiding", perhaps more of a staying at the fringes of where the action is. At first I'll calm myself, usually with my eyes closed, then I'll open up to the rest of the environment, enjoying it. This will usually make me extremely happy, something people told me they notice "radiating".

                    Comment


                    • #12
                      I ask since I've seen a couple PUA vids of doing unusual things at clubs, partly for social excercizing.

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