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Proper storytelling ...with good and bad examples!!!

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  • Proper storytelling ...with good and bad examples!!!

    So I saw an article or rather a person i winged with a while back showed me this last night ...and i figured id give yall the education he got , this will be more detailed than my usual posts

    first lets look at this article from chase, im not sayin his game sucks but he aint doing storytelling correctly or optimizing it the most he can.









    so here is his example

    For instance, do you ever get people run up to you with strange requests? Four days ago I was at a Starbucks, eating a yogurt cup and reading my Kindle. They have this low-fat yogurt at Starbucks that is horrible. I don't know who wants yogurt with the fat out. But if you get the mixed berry yogurt, you can scoop up some berry and granola with the yogurt so it isn't too awful.

    Well, I'm sitting there at this table by the window by myself, and I notice some girl hovering nearby. She looks like she's looking out the window, but I think she wants something.

    Anyway, I go back to my book and my slightly awful low-fat yogurt.

    The girl suddenly appears again, right at my table, and interrupts my reading. She says excuse me, do you have WhatsApp on your phone?

    I look at her. She's pretty. But her face is glistening like she's been running a marathon or has a gland problem or something. And she looks all serious and distracted.

    I can't tell if she's trying to meet someone and lost her phone, if she's using this as an excuse to meet me, or if she wants to steal my phone.

    "I need to log into my WhatsApp account to check my messages," she tells me.

    "Oh, sorry," I say. "I don't have WhatsApp."

    But she doesn't leave. She just stands there, with her glistening face and her serious, distracted look.

    "Oh," she says. "Because I thought everyone has WhatsApp. I just need to log into my account."

    I don't know if she didn't hear me or what. She's not even really looking at me now, just glancing around as if scanning for predators. I do a quick mental calculus of "Do I want to go out of my way to help this random sweaty distracted chick? Do I want to tell her she can download WhatsApp to my phone, then sit there and watch her like a hawk while she uses it to make sure she doesn't make a break to run out of Starbucks with it?"

    Instead I just tell her "Sorry, I don't have it."

    She stands there for another moment, still looking sweaty and distracted. Finally she says "Okay, thanks" and walks off.

    I notice her 15 minutes later over at some long table in the Starbucks, texting on a phone, still looking sweaty and serious but now laser-focused on whatever she's texting. So I guess she found someone to lend her a phone.

    I dunno, what would you do in that scenario? I might've been more inclined to lend her my phone if she'd used a napkin first and wiped all that sweat off.



    so right off the bat he uses a lead in statement so far so good, when ya tell story at least early in the set , you wanna use a lead in statement it hooks the listener

    that statement was the weird request line

    however after is where he falls apart

    I counted 17 sentences of fluff before he gets to the point of the story . the girl comes up to him

    that is way too many fluff sentences before something interesting comes a long


    we use the lead in and get to the point right away or somethng stimulating right away otherwise this becomes that long joke where you forced to listen to it for the punchline at the end

    ill post an example of a good start to story down the line


    next he has some dlvs in there and or misses opportunity to add dhvs ,

    hes sitting at a cafe spot by himself (lack of social alignment)

    hes looking around at a random girl after her weird encounter with him (implying what he is reading or doing is not interesting)

    athough he jokes his joke comes off as cruel (not proper willingness to emote) ...(i woulda helped her with something trivial if she wiped all the sweat off)


    again he could have redone the story (embellish it ) with added dhv spikes in it and or use a different story with dhv spikes in it ( ill give the example later)


    also what was the point of his story ...the build up was too long and the release was meh .nothing was compelling at all!!!


    just a long winded mundane observation

    he is right that you wanna add your opinion about the coffee there or whatever but you add that mid way thru the story while you have momentum going not before you get

    to any interesting part of the story


    also a girl approaching you is not a dhv ...the author believed it and he added it in there , if some dude told me some girl came up to me and asked where the starbucks is i cant say she wanted to fuck him

    if you wanna use the pre selection dhv in a story say an ex or girlfriend or so me and my its complicated where out the other day !!! boom you conveyed actual pre selection (the girl is into you)




    so now fellas Ill give yall a good example of a good story with the lead in the dhv spikes etc


    after you stimulate and open you group hit em with this (its a canned common story but im not giving away my bad ass stories ive custom made)


    did you guys see the fight outside

    theres your lead in



    let them respond


    you , so get this there were 2 girls in the front fighting (an hour,20 mins, 10 etc doestn matter) and they was a dude there , and I talked to him after , he says they were fighting over him ,thats pretty epic i asked him is name and he said Oliver , wow who fights over a guy named oliver ,cant imagine moaning that name in bed .anyways these girls started really getting into it , to the point they were scaring my girls , so i told the bouncer while we were cutting the line ,bro get on that shit man ,its your job ....so this big fred flintstone motherfucka goes oh yeah and walks over there right without any fucking back up and grabs one of the girls fighting ,

    (there you have the part with your riff raffing ,just like chase was with his yogurt spiel except you do it ina way thats humorouous)

  • #2
    so i cant edit this initial post (it got cut off ) so i will repost under this one the full post

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Grodmeister General View Post

      I counted 17 sentences of fluff before he gets to the point of the story . the girl comes up to him

      that is way too many fluff sentences before something interesting comes a long


      we use the lead in and get to the point right away or somethng stimulating right away otherwise this becomes that long joke where you forced to listen to it for the punchline at the end

      It's called painting a picture + building suspense. Which is what you want to do with storytelling for it to have a strong effect on your audience.

      I disagree with your dlvs assessment. She doesn't really care if he's sitting in a cafe by himself ("oh btw did i mention i was there with my ex-model girlfriend?"), she came up to him, or if what he was reading wasn't interesting. She just wants to hear an entertaining story and maybe laugh a little.

      But yea, I agree, the story really wasn't that compelling. Could have definitely use some spikes.

      Like here's a story by a comedy writer for Barstool Sports that I read recently. The subject matter wasn't all that interesting (just about a boring 45 minute train ride from NY to BOS), but he made it both entertaining and funny as hell:

      https://www.barstoolsports.com/barst...ying-to-people

      That being said, I like your example about the canned fight outside routine.

      but after you said, "wow who fights over a guy named oliver ,cant imagine moaning that name in bed"

      I would have imitated a girl's voice and started exaggeratedly moaning, "oh god. yes oliver. give it to me oliver!!" to spike their emotions, before continuing with my story

      Comment


      • Grodmeister General
        Editing a comment
        my post got cut off for the full fight outside story but no, none of those sentences add to the story ..that story chase posted was BOOOORING ...would a guy wanna listen to that story he posted ..nope ,too many fluff sentences about nothing that adds to the story ,you cant build suspense if you dont know the plot ...lets

        dissect the fight outside story (full example posted under skills comment)

        did you see the fight outside (boom hooked)

        2 girls fighting bla bla the name joke (humor with subtle dhv spikes in it)

        bouncer goes to break up the fight one of the girls boobs pop out (tension)

        baggy saggy boobs joke (release big laughs)

        its short (remember you dont have alotta TIME INITIALLY ,to the POINT)

        hes not ina bar himself I get that , the point is women ask questions like where are your friends or who are you here with even when you are not talking about ,they are gonna assume a lot from that boring story and its not gonna be positive

        let me ask you these questions ok and you tell me your answers

        would a guy sitting by himself watching some girl after 15 minutes texting on a borrowed phone .sound like an interesting guy to you?

        would you think that guy had an interesting life if that was something that happened a week ago and he felt the need to tell you that?

        A guy who says he would have let a woman borrow his phone (who could be in distress ) if she wiped her sweat off sounds like a douchebag ,correct?


        i wasnt thinking where is this going im gonna stick around ..a story should be build up release build up release til the final release ..not build build build then release you dont have that kinda of time or compliance that early in set (when these stories come out)

        also imagine this dude just had these girls laughing for a minute then launched into this take forever to get to the point story ..he woulda killed that mood and DROP buying temp, you dont wanna do that , that is why dudes say omg dhv stories dont work , she was laughing and then i went into my spiked story and i lost her !

        its not about congruent to your behavior if its low value stuff

        if i had a propensity to talk about shit and piss ..should i add that to my sets cuz its who I am?

      • Grodmeister General
        Editing a comment
        also again why do you purposely misinterpret how i say to do the dhv spikes .. i never advocated saying i was with my model ex girlfriend ....in fact here is how i would mention i have a model ex girlfriend

        you have c shaped smile to the girl

        her , what does that mean

        you ....well there are 2 kindas smiles c smiles which are friendly wide smiles and u that are shaped like a U shaped which is resting bitch face...think katy perry is a C and lady gaga is U



        whats funny is when i told my ex about this ,she would look at all her test shoots and see she had a u shaped smile, she thought she wouldnt ever get a magazine cover and wanted to drop 2 grand for surgery


        her wow

        me i know dodged a bullet there

        notice the point was not that my girl does test shoots

        heres another example

        this is a personal gambit of mine and it can be thrown in a set anywhere except open

        whats the big ass deal about coconut oil ? my friend stephanie told me you need to start using coconut oil over mouthwash it is healthier and makes your teeth whither , shes been doing it before test shoots and she says it makes a diffence, shit my niece uses it in her hair , you can cook with etc..fuck it ..you know what
        if i wanna get a girl ina club ima just walk around with a big ass barrel of coconut oil,or say ima manager of a coconut oil plant ..ill get all the bitches!!!

        big laughs ,dhv spike in there subtlety

      • Grodmeister General
        Editing a comment
        last one with that model spike ....

        you:ever here of hot yoga

        her :yeah no idk

        you :are you a fan of it

        her .bla bla

        cut her off

        i think its overrated my friend stephanie got into a month ago and now has do hot yoga regardless of time before every test shoot ..she thinks it makes a difference in her photos ,me to be honest i think thats bullshit,its just working out with the heater on , i did that in highschool with football team and the team never won a fucking game all season!

        see spikes in there are not the point of the story but incidental details


        shit lets add more spikes

        you :ever hear of hot yoga

        her: bla bla

        you: shit i did it for the first time last week with my friend stephanie, she thought it was a great idea to celebrate my job promo with hot yoga

        to be honest i think its bullshit,its just working out with the heater on , i did that in high school with football team and the team never won a fucking game all season!

        now different spikes with that same gambit

        you: ever hear of hot yoga

        her bla bla

        you its huge in new york (city youre not in) me and my friend steph found a spot over there last week (better to have a name of the place) now she has a superstition to do it before every test shoot , me i think its bullshit bla bla

        you get the point that is how you add spikes and drop dhvs ....if you keep posting your weird examples im gonna assume you dont know how to do it

    • #4
      Both boring and no humorous.... Story telling is display your personality, humor, and hopefully something sexual going....Just like you broke down chase story i can do the same with yours (by the way story telling is meh...)

      you , so get this there were 2 girls in the front fighting (an hour,20 mins, 10 etc doestn matter) and they was a dude there , and I talked to him after , he says they were fighting over him ,thats pretty epic i asked him is name and he said Oliver , wow who fights over a guy named oliver ,cant imagine moaning that name in bed .

      ^ subcommunication you talk shit about people...


      anyways these girls started really getting into it , to the point they were scaring my girls
      so your point is to tell me you were with girls, aka bragging...

      , so i told the bouncer while we were cutting the line ,bro get on that shit man ,its your job ...
      so you are subcommunicating you are a dick, i would never talk to a bouncer like that, and i know all the bouncer in the clubs i go to... uncalibrated

      .
      so this big fred flintstone motherfucka goes oh yeah and walks over there right without any fucking back up and grabs one of the girls fighting ,
      this is good bed story....


      and chase story another Jesus christ! i could not even get to read it, so fucking boring...



      Good story teller in the community is style by the way... Jeff rsd is good story teller, and tyler if he is not trying to be funny he tells good stories...

      Comment


      • Grodmeister General
        Editing a comment
        i didnt type the whole thing out ...see below the fight outside story

    • #5
      so get this there were 2 girls in the front fighting (an hour,20 mins, 10 etc doesn't matter) and they was a dude there , and I talked to him after , he says they were fighting over him ,thats pretty epic i asked him is name and he said Oliver , wow who fights over a guy named oliver ,cant imagine moaning that name in bed( play this part out for big laughs) .anyways these girls started really getting into it , to the point they were scaring my girls(group) , so i had to do something and spotted the bouncer while we were cutting the line ,aye my guy handle that shit ....so this big fred flintstone motherfucka goes oh yeah and walks over there right without any fucking back up and grabs one of the girls fighting , now with that girl being held the other girl grabs her top and pulls it down ,normally i would be like welcome to (LA ,LAS VEGAS ,etc insert whatever city youre in here) buuuut ...these were some saggy baggy boobies from national geographic they were the woooooorst (slow down the last part)


      (there you have the part with your riff raffing ,just like chase was with his yogurt spiel except you do it ina way thats humorouous and also when you leave open loops they should be of the dhv variety not some boring shit about the nutrition facts of yogurt.......for instance say your celebrating a job promo, just getting back from vacation and or where with your its complicated will get you asked more about those dhvs)


      you also have proper dhv spikes in there

      pre selection or social alighment ( i was with my girls or you can say my its complicated)

      you demo protector of loved ones ( the fight was scaring my girls so i had to get the bouncer)

      show your the leader of men ( told the bouncer to do something and he complied )


      demo high social status ( skipping the line )

      and you gotta punchline in there (it always gets laughts and to be honest i dont think its that funny but fuck it they laugh )


      so there ya have it

      elements of a good story and a bad one (not to say the person is bad or his game is , but his storytelling was not it)


      bonus here are the lists of dhv spikes (stories with 2 to 3 of them tend to get that attraction combined with the negs)


      *pre selection (more than just a girl in the story ,she has to be attracted to you in the story )

      leader of men (giving someone orders in your story or saying youre a boss)

      high social status ( vip area ina club or skip the line or with a large group or with a group of hotties or important people )

      job promotion (say you gotta job promo it really kicks ass for me idk why but it does )

      protector of loved ones ( you stood up for someone or helped someone in need)

      successful risk taker (starting your own business is an example or making a career change thats risky but pays off is one (i use this one a lot)

      well traveled( another interesting one like the job promo one )


      feel free to ask any Genuine questions or comments !...

      Comment


      • #6
        to everybody saying you dotn need dhv spikes ,you can say or convey a lotta things about yourself if you use them , you are really not opitmizing your approaches not using them

        it doesnt harm your game ,but you are purposely not using boosters

        for example no dhv spikes you are a funny well dressed guy in the club

        with the right gambits youre a well dressed funny guy with model exes, a bad ass job and loves to travel or does travel ,in the club!!

        this is the real verbal game not that weirdo patterny bullshit ,be the 10 fellas !

        Comment


        • #7
          Pickup Artists never tell mundane stories , this is the reason we tell DHV stories or Identity Stories .
          Grod ,
          This actually happened , I will only write the points here , so , to make it a DHV story .
          I was in hotel of My Best friend .
          I was in the kitchen ( no other person is allowed inside the kitchen except me )
          The Chef asked me a question ,
          If a girl loves you but you do not love her whose fault is this mean who is wrong here ..
          I tell him
          Your' s
          She should know what relationship to except from you ..etc
          Then I tell a friend of mine and she was like why did you not tell me this before
          I said cause you did not needed this before but now and we laughed ..



          So , Grod , you can see there are many DHVs embded and could be turned into an routine but how would you turn this into a DHV story as an example ..

          Comment


          • Grodmeister General
            Editing a comment
            only dhv there is the hotel belongs to your friend (social status alighments) that story on its own doesnt sound interesting either you would have to embelish it (make it more interesting) and add some dhvs to it for it to work!

        • #8
          I wrote only the points of the story .

          If I am correct ,

          The Chef asking me question for an answer , Shows leadership ,

          giving him an answer and telling my friend about

          it and she

          saying why did not tell her that before

          and me

          saying she did not needed it before and laughing
          shows pre- selection and social intelligence .

          Comment


          • Grodmeister General
            Editing a comment
            you telling the chef to do something and him listening is a leader of men , not him askin you a question and a pre selection is a girl interested in you or fucking you not a girl talking to you!

        • #9
          That is why I only outlined the story so you can make it a DHV story as a n example .

          Comment


          • #10
            Ooooooh okay. Good points . Grod . Thankyou , I will keep your points in consideration .

            Comment


            • Grodmeister General
              Editing a comment
              for now focus on telling a short funny story then add spikes later
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