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Juggling Multiple Women in a Venue (for Sgt. Grumbles)

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  • Juggling Multiple Women in a Venue (for Sgt. Grumbles)

    (Wrote this in response to Sgt. Grumbles' thread here, but hoping for feedback and didn't want to derail or commandeer the thread.)

    I'm highly trained in working multiple women in a room. (Which just means I've fucked up in every way possible.) In a way, it's like a microcosm of juggling MLTR's.

    Most guys at a club or bar will just continue plowing with a target until they get the number or get blown out, instead of cultivating general good vibes and choosing from a selection of women later in the evening. IME the latter far exceeds the former in success and efficiency (due to social proof and momentum). There are then two critical skills that must be extensively practiced to achieve the right calibration:

    1. Frame Control.

    First, a caveat: you're there to enjoy yourself. Don't get all in your head and force yourself to remember a series of complex steps. This is just a backwards rationalized guideline. Once you're experienced, you're mostly on autopilot.

    That said, have both a short term and long term agenda. Short term can be something like: "talk to every hot girl in the club," "get 5 solid numbers" or "narrow down my targets to top 3 most receptive." Then at some point you need to prioritize the girls in terms of desired outcome. Bathroom pull? Bounce back to yours? Seed Day 2? This is the trickiest part because it relies on your instincts as to whose BT is highest and who has the best logistics for further escalation.

    Stage 1: Reconnaissance. The frame here is "the Giver," "Mr. Awesome," Pan, the God of sexual mischief. Meet as many girls as comfortable in order to build and maintain a strong, sexual vibe. Forget about CLOSING. You are there to give ATTENTION, APPRECIATION and POSITIVITY. When she's smiling and touching you, you've done your job.

    Specifically, some things to do upon first contact in order to pre-empt petty jealousy routines or demonstrate "secret society" values are:

    *Say hi to other people while you're talking to your girl. High five some dude or chick. Wave across the room. Even to nobody in particular. This shows her you are social and congruent.

    *Check out other chicks and dudes together. Who's hot? Who's not? This builds rapport and sets a sexual, non-jealous frame. (But don't criticize! In your eyes, everyone's "awesome!" That nerd with the glasses looks like a righteous dude! That fatty doesn't give a shit what people think!)

    *Kino. The bolder, the better.

    *If you are confident, something bold or outrageous is always a killer way to sink your hooks in a girl so you can release the line later in the night. I'm talking about opening her with a kiss, a killer dance move or dead-on cold read. Field-tested.

    The point is you need to let her know that you are a desirable, social guy with a lot going on and a lot to offer. She should appreciate the time you are together and look forward to continuing to grow the vibe. Also, you sorta have to be okay with the idea that she is going to flirt with other guys and that Brad Pitt might come and sweep her off her feet. Outcome independence.


    Stage 2: Promotion. The frame here is "the Manager," "the Coach," Gene Simmons. Once you've opened all the girls, you are going to gradually shift to target prioritization and logistics. Sounds dry and logical, I know, but trust me, you'll thank me later.

    In your first contact with a girl, remember YOU are the giver. You don't have a judging bone in your body. Upon reinitiation, however, you are relentlessly, but still smoothly, SCREENING for receptiveness and DTF. You are the manager and evaluating your employees for promotion. You are the coach determining who is the starter and who will be the backup? You are Gene Simmons choosing from a van full of groupies (well, scratch that one. Gene would just fuck them all at once).

    Don't necessarily give away what you are doing. Still be flirty, funny and interested... but SCREEN, SCREEN, SCREEN. Receptiveness (how much she likes you) and logistics (where will you meet/fuck), but logistics should trump receptiveness! That means subtly find out if she lives at home, has a ride, has a roommate. Don't ask directly! This can trigger ASD. Instead, intuit or make assumptions and let her correct you.

    Ex. "You wanna see my pet turtles?" (cred. Rocky)
    Ex. "So, I guess you gotta get home before midnight or your parents will turn you into a pumpkin, right?"
    Ex. "Do you like soup for breakfast? I have a subscription to Campbell's..." (I don't know where that one came from...)

    Remember that for the reinitiation, you can assume much greater rapport. You can naturally "catch up" on recent gossip like how many chodes have hit on her. You can become completely LESS VERBAL and use smoldering EC and BL to vibe and subcommunicate your attraction.

    Finally, once you've identified the girl with the best chance for taking home that night, you might do one more sweep of the other girls to either snag numbers or seed re-meets. Be careful of leaving a girl when shes primed to go, however, because of the dreaded BT shift to some other aggressive troll. Remember, decisiveness here is key.


    2. Decisiveness.

    As mentioned by previous posters, decisiveness is key.

    Exiting. You should never feel like you're lingering or overstaying with one girl. If your attention starts to wander to other targets, time to move your ass. Exit on a high note and leave her wishing for more so your re-initiation is warmly welcomed. I like to exit with an SOI and a vague promise of escalation AFTER we've already connected. So, something like:

    "We are awesome. I'm gonna go spread some of my awesomeness around then come back and find you later, 'kay?"

    or "Listen, I don't want your friends to get jealous. Let's mingle for a bit and I'll ambush you later."

    Or even, "If I stay here, you'll never be able to get free drinks. Let me get some fresh air while you try to get drunk so I can take advantage of you..."

    Tip: sometimes I get the number early in the exchange in case I forget to later or in case some other dude swoops in during the interval.

    Re-initiating. Conversely, you have to develop a strong instinct for when a girl will "go cold" or succumb to some other dude's attention and decide when to re-initiate. There's two ways to re-initiate.

    Pinging. Even if you don't re-engage completely, an intimate hand on the back as you're walking by, a wink across the dancefloor or something naughty whispered in her ear can sometimes be just enough of a bump in BT to keep her in eager anticipation. If she goes completely cold, though, you've miscalibrated.

    Full-reinitiation. Generally, I say try to touch base every half hour. There's really no way to give a more concrete answer other than to use your gut instinct. However, just because she's hot and getting a lot of male attention, don't panic and ditch your agenda (more on agendas later). The second time around, however, there MUST be escalation, i.e. makeout, isolation or number/date close. Unless she's drunk or desperate, most girls are not going to let you keep endlessly re-opening them. Use the second re-initiation to then screen/prioritize your candidates.


    Prioritization.

    I can't really tell you which girl to choose but obviously you should maximize your chances based on intuition and practical concerns.

    Personally, I have my own system to prevent over-thinking in the venue. This is just my own personal thing, which is why I have not numbered it nor consider it essential for juggling multiple women in the venue.

    A. THE GIRL I LIKE THE MOST: I spend the most time with her, building rapport and seeding a Day 2.

    B. THE GIRL WHO LIKES ME THE MOST: I lead her on as if we are going to fuck that night and then apologetically make some excuse like my friend is drunk or I have to work the next day. Since her BT is the highest, I calculate that meeting her again later will be easier. Also, this girl is my emergency backup in case the next girl falls through.

    C. THE GIRL WITH THE BEST LOGISTICS: This is who I take home or bounce with. Logistics trumps everything else.

    Of course, sometimes one or all these girls can be the same.

    Finally, I know I've used a lot of imperatives and implied that these are the hard, fast "rules" of juggling but, obviously, in a busy, crowded venue with alcohol and extended social circles involved, it's not always easy or possible to be decisive and maintain frame control. Life doesn't always co-operate with your PUA intentions and so the girl is not as interested as you hoped, her friends cockblock you or some other dude swoops in. What did you expect, a money-back guarantee?

    Love to have some input or constructive criticism from other experienced guys or willing field-testers.

    Dai

  • #2
    Awesome! I love that you bring this subject up! When I was trying to compile my 'method' for clubbing, this was the one subject where I felt I had to delete the most useful advice in order to make method short and sweet.

    - - -

    "MINGLE - moving around while shooting small talk at people." (from ijjjji blog)

    - - -

    Perfection vs Consistency.

    If you are in a cow costume, you should obviously try to ram girls in the ass with your horns. I mention this to clarify that 'perfection' in interaction is 1000% situational. IOW forget about that shit!!

    What you need is not a 'perfect' setup. You need a setup that you will follow no matter what:

    -A social vibe you can 'summon' easily.
    -A simple way of getting near many girls in short timespan.
    -A '100% opener' as backup when no inspiration.

    - - -

    Details can vary extremely from one PUA to the next. My personal details are in 'success recipe' post. You can probably identify each of the 3 parts, now that I have revealed them.

    - - -

    Bee-lining vs 'circling'.. If gPUA try circling. But try bee-lining from girl to girl sometime.. it will give stronger more polarized reactions and sets you apart from average guys. (I looove bee-lining. Its somehow very powerful.)

    - - -

    '100% opener' refers to something that get the girl's attention 100% of the time. Keep in mind that you dont care HOW she reacts. After all, you will be talking to the next girl already before she has a chance to react. Some examples would be ass/hip bump, touching and commenting on her dress etc..

    - - -

    I tend to continue until a girl I really like tries to hold onto me. After that I only eye-flirt very briefly with other girls.
    Last edited by ijjjji; 11-21-2012, 08:31 AM.
    My method: Say "Hello" or "Wow" > shy look > starry-eyed look > spamming cold-read-compliments + feather light touches

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by ijjjji View Post

      Perfection vs Consistency.

      If you are in a cow costume, you should obviously try to ram girls in the ass with your horns. I mention this to clearify that 'perfection' in interaction is 1000% situational. IOW forget about that shit!!

      What you need is not a perfect setup. You need a setup that you will follow no matter what:

      -A social vibe you can 'summon' easily.
      -A simple way of getting near many girls in short timespan.
      -A '100% opener' as backup when no inspiration.

      - - -
      Ijjjji! I find this to be condensed genius. Even deeply poetic. We must be on the same wavelength because I perfectly understand your parable of the cow costume. Profound and moving!

      Meanwhile, something maybe I glossed over is the idea that, for me, bouncing between multiple women/sets in the same venue is not simply a linear, aggregate strategy of run game on Girl A then move to Girl B, wash, rinse, repeat. It's a complete shift from the macro-flirty-party-vibe to the micro-rapport-logistics view. IOW, there are two distinct phases for me.

      Again, backwards rationalizing here but, if I had to describe where my head and my feelings are at, I'd say during the first phase:
      • Medium-energy (relaxed, but alert!)
      • Quick to laugh
      • Expressive positivity (high fives, smiles, head bobs)
      • Incidental kino (brushing past, hand-shakes, pulling girls closer)
      • Potential for spectacle or complete chaos (center of attention, drawing others into our world)
      • In my head, active/aggressive thoughts, a lot of internal chatter, falling back on routines, trying to continually move the energy forward. Quite tiring.
      - - -


      Then, by the time I feel I've made my rounds, had the run of the plac and maybe the overall vibe of the venue has shifted, I tend to gear down and touch base with girls again. Reinitiating gives me a great chance to learn whether they are wallflowers or party-girls, just out for a rare drink with friends, or seriously DTF.
      • Low-key, but focused energy
      • Smile becomes a smirk
      • Active listening or vibing with the music
      • Direct, probing kino (thighs, neck, face, hair, arms), screening for "it's on" (cred. 60)
      • Potential for makeouts or +, but discreetly!
      • In my head, passive/absorbing thoughts, relaxed and trying to see who these girls are and what their deal is for the night
      - - -

      Maybe it's important to note that this "method" has the drawback of leaving every girl "open" to other guys/chodes/players while you work the room or another girl. It happens to me all the time that I come back but she's otherwise occupied. Or I miscalculated our initial attraction and she blows me off, hoping for better fish to come along. But in my experience, singling a girl out, especially too early in the night just sets you up for getting chumped. It's also painfully obvious to the rest of the bar when a guy goes from one girl to another "blow me or blow me out" style. It's a kind of mini-negative feedback loop.

      So yeah. You might lose the girl by leaving her early, but did you really have a better shot with her by hanging on until the bitter end?

      tl:dr
      Work the room and let social proof/momentum raise your value and reinitiate where an open attraction loop has been created.

      Comment


      • #4
        Great post!

        Exactly two weeks ago I was at a campus party and I was in great mood, opened some girls and had a hot girl VERY EARLY in the evening. We danced, made outs about 2 minutes later, went to my office on campus, but LMR. We exchanged numbers, I had a great feeling, but nothing really had happend (only makeout).

        I had a good feeling for the day2 and went home, sleeping good (next day was a busy day). I also felt I would "ruin everything" if she saw me dancing/ flirting with other women! I knew it was AFC-style, but I was sure about my game and that I would lay her on day2.

        ...

        Last week (5 days after the initial meet) we had a day2. It couldn't have been worse! I guess she felt slutty for going to my office with me (even though no sex happend) and was very distant (both emotionally and physically).

        Lesson learned? We will see! Tonight we basically have the same campus party again (only slightly bigger). So tonight I will try out your method! Let's see how it's going!

        I'm all exited!
        Aima
        "I hope the journey and hard work continue for a lifetime."
        >>>> My complete player guide - everything from meet to lay, in my "Hall of Fame" post, for free <<<<

        Comment


        • #5
          Hey Dai,

          your OP was very helpful. It definitely answers several questions I have.

          "The second time around, however, there MUST be escalation (...). Unless she's drunk or desperate, most girls are not going to let you keep endlessly re-opening them." < < this fully matches my experience.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Daigoro View Post
            • Potential for makeouts or +, but discreetly!


            This. How many times have you had a girl slyly look to the side before makeouts? Discretion is key. The more discretion, lower the chance of triggering ASD.

            Just my two cents (or two pence if I'm English?). Anyway, great post. Thanks very much.
            There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self. - Aldous Huxley.

            I'll come make love to you at 5 o'clock, if I'm late start without me.

            Comment


            • #7
              I think this is possibly my favorite post, so I decided to point out some things I didnt comment directly on in my other reply!

              Originally posted by Daigoro View Post
              That said, have both a short term and long term agenda. Short term can be something like: "talk to every hot girl in the club," "get 5 solid numbers" or "narrow down my targets to top 3 most receptive." Then at some point you need to prioritize the girls in terms of desired outcome. Bathroom pull? Bounce back to yours? Seed Day 2? This is the trickiest part because it relies on your instincts as to whose BT is highest and who has the best logistics for further escalation.

              Stage 1: Reconnaissance. The frame here is "the Giver," "Mr. Awesome," Pan, the God of sexual mischief. Meet as many girls as comfortable in order to build and maintain a strong, sexual vibe. Forget about CLOSING. You are there to give ATTENTION, APPRECIATION and POSITIVITY. When she's smiling and touching you, you've done your job.
              Its so nice when someone else seem to capture your exact thoughts into words that sound better than your own attempts at the same!

              I hope you people remember my mingle thread. If so, it is evident how these things fuse together, yes? Actually, fusing is bad word. Its more like stirring a soup while adding awesome ingredients. Like the world is a swirling soup in the end, that smells and tastes more and more incredible.
              My method: Say "Hello" or "Wow" > shy look > starry-eyed look > spamming cold-read-compliments + feather light touches

              Comment


              • #8
                Damn, I love this thread. This is where I hope to be sometime, great stuff Dai and Ij.
                The Qlue, simple perspectives on life.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Found another old note regarding; consistency > perfection!

                  "I kinda freeze when I try to make myself talk to strangers. What if they laugh or get mad?"

                  -You are way too slow! You must be more like "Bam, Bam, Bam!" Move faster. Say "Hi!" or "Wow!" AT ONCE when you see someone interesting. This is why its called 'shooting' small talk.

                  - - -

                  In recent discussion, it has been uncovered that focusing on a ROLE or even pretending to be a particular celeb or movie character, serves as a great NUDGE to get going with this. Even the old book 'The Art of Mingling' (pre fastseduction) talks about this at length.. I guess the 'magic' is that acting is very action-based, so easy to avoid passivity trap.
                  My method: Say "Hello" or "Wow" > shy look > starry-eyed look > spamming cold-read-compliments + feather light touches

                  Comment

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