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You say warm / cold / direct / indirect approach - I say mingle!

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  • #31
    Most guys I've coached and myself included, do much better as soon as we dropped the community jargon and categorization from our repertoire.

    Not only do I introduce other guys to each other, I also introduce guys ... To other girls! Usually the girls end up wanting to leave with me and my entourage... Hoarding / scarcity vs. abundance / sharing. There is a difference in female perception for sure.

    As an extreme example imagine Hugh Hefner demanding who is allowed to speak to whom or even worrying about such a thing. Yes there are bouncers and they don't tolerate harassing the women (as any good venue should), but the top dogs are the hosts, the benefactors, the connectors.

    Also imagine Hefner or any serious player thinking and acting in those terms - pivot, obstacle, target. It's silly.

    Most guys I've found with stick in the mud syndrome, as you call it, really need to drop that left brain stuff and learn to develop their social intelligence in the real-time moment. Awareness radius, presence, being the mayor are good concepts for guys to learn about, if they're finding themselves stuck analyzing mostly irrelevant stuff while in field.
    Practical Female Psychology for the Practical Man!
    NOW AVAILABLE ON KINDLE

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    • #32
      Originally posted by JWS View Post
      Most guys I've coached and myself included, do much better as soon as we dropped the community jargon and categorization from our repertoire.

      Not only do I introduce other guys to each other, I also introduce guys ... To other girls! Usually the girls end up wanting to leave with me and my entourage... Hoarding / scarcity vs. abundance / sharing. There is a difference in female perception for sure.

      As an extreme example imagine Hugh Hefner demanding who is allowed to speak to whom or even worrying about such a thing. Yes there are bouncers and they don't tolerate harassing the women (as any good venue should), but the top dogs are the hosts, the benefactors, the connectors.

      Also imagine Hefner or any serious player thinking and acting in those terms - pivot, obstacle, target. It's silly.

      Most guys I've found with stick in the mud syndrome, as you call it, really need to drop that left brain stuff and learn to develop their social intelligence in the real-time moment. Awareness radius, presence, being the mayor are good concepts for guys to learn about, if they're finding themselves stuck analyzing mostly irrelevant stuff while in field.
      And I still have the pua repertoire and I'm doing better since I started approaching a lot and going out a lot, now you dropped the pua lingo and got better , I kept it and got better but what's a commonality we both share, we both go out and mingle a lot I did at least 200 sets this past 5 weeks and I'm sure you have accumulated that over a time period bottom line or the common denominator is approaching more frees up the mind and all that jazz, the lingo one uses when assessing a social situation are irrelevant . But just to make sure I am not speaking out of my ass ill do another 200 sets this month.

      By the way ,Yeah I would introduce a girl or pawn to guy to get a girl in that guys set , SO what we are doing are not radically different and what are implying with that harassing women thing.

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      • #33
        Awesome. Sounds like you're definitely on the right track.
        Practical Female Psychology for the Practical Man!
        NOW AVAILABLE ON KINDLE

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        • #34
          Thank you JWS and I commend you for disagreeing but not mud slinging ill keep everyone updated.

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          • #35
            Here is a lay report that illustrates well the 'snowball effect' of mingling, where each subsequent girl you talk to will be progressively more into you from the get go.

            http://www.pua-zone.com/showthread.p...e-SNL-with-HB9
            My method: Say "Hello" or "Wow" > shy look > starry-eyed look > spamming cold-read-compliments + feather light touches

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            • #36
              Mingling on the dance floor works well early in the night when girls bitch shield are low.

              Just do a fly-by on a good song and hip bump/spin/hi5 every girl as you move through the floor. Dance a couple of songs then get a drink and chill from the side.

              Chicks who are interested will try to re-engage you - step up but drop the entertainer guy frame and dance man to woman

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              • #37
                Here's why introducing guys to other guys work and only helps you get better women:

                A team player is worth more than an ass-hat loner who avoids men especially when he's obviously the one making things happen, a.k.a. the team leader. This shows leadership qualities, i.e. making people work together for a common goal - a thing making you very sexy (and safe) to women. Simply put, introducing guys to each other shows that you're comfortable, that you're not afraid of imaginary competition (you blast it away by being a leader and a social man of action who joins cool people together) and that you're the guy she can depend upon for protection - not just from you, but from all your allies as well. In a greater and more primal sense, having the strength of the group backing you up ensures the most basic forms of "social security", like safety from enemies and a much higher chance of getting a nice shelter if needed and food on the table. If you look at Maslow, you can clearly see how being a positive social leader like that secures many of the most basic needs most people (and especially women) need. It's incredibly sexy because it's YOU providing all that. Other guys are usually too afraid of the competition...
                I know HTML (How To Meet Ladies)

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                • #38
                  Okok I know I ought to make a new clean version of this thread rather than just adding, but this will have to suffice for now.

                  When you are doing something, you are always in a role, whether you are aware or not. By role, I mean a set of semi-pre-determined rules, by which you operate. In a way, you are never 100% yourself. Always a mix of yourself, and these role-parameters guided by whatever you are doing at that time. Im saying this mainly to enlighten how important the role is (being the _container_ for 'skill'/'ability') and how it is OK to focus on it. The term 'fake it til you make it' is absolutely misleading, since roles are REAL (not fake), and there are no alternatives.. 'be yourself' is just a paraphrase for sticking with roles you have practiced a lot in the past.

                  So obviously, mingling is a role. As always, anything beyond the basic definition, is up to you to define. This can be time consuming work, so ask yourself, is this role for me? Is this role fundamentally effective? My original motive in this thread was to convince you that YES, this is generally the best role you can play. (A lot of my posts are like that.. an attempt to get more people to follow a path similar to mine, so that I may reap the fruits of their experience. Yup, I wont share stuff I do in field, unless I feel there is something in it for me. Im especially torn whenever posting things I believe Im the only person doing. Im more of a private person.) Ok ok, back to the topic! Im here to share my latest findings for the 'mingle role':

                  -A hint of an underlying smile will genertae action at times when your brain blanks or you simply forget talking to someone. Invaluable. I typically do it all the time.

                  -Straight out of bed in the morning, its kinda hard to keep eyes open esp in sharp light. This feeling is almost like a facial stiffness that is part of that morning sleepiness. This 'morning face' is something I can bring into my vibe simply by thinking about that sleepy feeling, and doing so seems to have a very positive effect when I mingle. NB: its not the same as sexual bedroom eyes as pr GWM. I hope the distinction is comprehensible even if exact description of the difference is beyond me at this time.

                  -Commenting on the most striking thing, seems to come with a bonus (Possibly due to perceived ingenuity. Possibly due to sheer 'chaos energy' - a new property Im discovering!) So, putting observations into words _before_ thinking, seems to be the way to go.
                  My method: Say "Hello" or "Wow" > shy look > starry-eyed look > spamming cold-read-compliments + feather light touches

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                  • #39
                    I am curious what kind of vibe you have. Personally I am very calm and low-energy (which I imagine you are as well). Sleepy/low-energy + "underlying smile"/beaming is the most charming and sexy kind of vibe IMO, not the high-energy loudmouthed.

                    I think Aloe Blacc illustrates it really well:

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                    • #40
                      Need to paste some stuff from another thread, to stay organized:

                      Originally posted by ijjjji View Post
                      Awesome! I love that you bring this subject up! When I was trying to compile my 'method' for clubbing, this was the one subject where I felt I had to delete the most useful advice in order to make method short and sweet.

                      - - -

                      "MINGLE - moving around while shooting small talk at people." (from ijjjji blog)

                      - - -

                      Perfection vs Consistency.

                      If you are in a cow costume, you should obviously try to ram girls in the ass with your horns. I mention this to clarify that 'perfection' in interaction is 1000% situational. IOW forget about that shit!!

                      What you need is not a 'perfect' setup. You need a setup that you will follow no matter what:

                      -A social vibe you can 'summon' easily.
                      -A simple way of getting near many girls in short timespan.
                      -A '100% opener' as backup when no inspiration.

                      - - -

                      Details can vary extremely from one PUA to the next. My personal details are in 'success recipe' post. You can probably identify each of the 3 parts, now that I have revealed them.

                      - - -

                      Bee-lining vs 'circling'.. If gPUA try circling. But try bee-lining from girl to girl sometime.. it will give stronger more polarized reactions and sets you apart from average guys. (I looove bee-lining. Its somehow very powerful.)

                      - - -

                      '100% opener' refers to something that get the girl's attention 100% of the time. Keep in mind that you dont care HOW she reacts. After all, you will be talking to the next girl already before she has a chance to react. Some examples would be ass/hip bump, touching and commenting on her dress etc..

                      - - -

                      I tend to continue until a girl I really like tries to hold onto me. After that I only eye-flirt very briefly with other girls.
                      My method: Say "Hello" or "Wow" > shy look > starry-eyed look > spamming cold-read-compliments + feather light touches

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                      • #41
                        ijjjji this is some interesting stuff. Tried it out the other day and it was fun.

                        Contrasts with my usual style which is social but usually hooked in to a group for way longer, especially if there is a girl I'm enjoying. Anyway, made an effort to not stay too long in any group and instead maximize the breadth of social interaction vs the depth. Force myself away from a group or from a convo if it went longer than a few minutes.

                        Social momentum throughout the night got fun building off the last interactions. There was a group of chicks that was there for a birthday, so used that to get in with a bunch of other groups. A lot of basic questions like "how's the night going" and mini cold reads.

                        Not really any negatives, a few girls weren't interested at first but then just bounced to the next and came back later to a better reception. Did get told to "fuck off" by one chick but it's cause I made fun of her not taking a bottle pour in front of her friends. And then just bounced to the next group so it was no big deal.

                        Also guys were pawning me off on to their open friends, which is why mixed groups were always where I can eat but seems to happen more often with the mingle.

                        What do you do when you hook a girl though? Was vibing nice with one chick and then started chatting her group which shut the girl down.

                        Guess I was not looking to the end game so much, but the circle back and then pull seems to make sense. It also seems like there's a lot that can intervene in the time between when I meet a chick I like and we vibe, I move on to the next group, and then come back.

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                        • #42
                          -Nice to see you noticed the snowball effect, part of the trifecta of great reasons to mingle!
                          -I suggest be more seductive from beginning. Come in with: Compliment + affectionate smile + touching (ref. jedi trick post)
                          My method: Say "Hello" or "Wow" > shy look > starry-eyed look > spamming cold-read-compliments + feather light touches

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                          • #43
                            Ijjjji: Concrete question:

                            When theres more space than people - low density - how do you approach it.

                            My tactics are
                            1) to swerve in and do shoot outs when in proximity usual mingle style and then roll from there
                            aka more force in the movement, and punch troughness
                            i end up doing shoot outs more deliberately
                            and then enter one of the sets doing my thing
                            2) or i go eg to the bar and proximity mingle/open, chat up the bartenders etc. owning a space is another key tactic i use becoming the party there through chick crack/fun with/for the people next to me/us.
                            3) just obvious chill alone eg leaning and enjoying something. draws girls in to open me

                            Curious to your way of it? i sense i get a lil out of the mingle on my tactics. They work but would love to stay in it..
                            Heard you not the type that you take home to mom

                            Glows Log

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                            • #44
                              If there are 1-3 sets in total, I do a particular thing - a 'curiosity throw'. It works a bit like rappelling hook + rope, used to haul myself from one set to the next and the next and the next. (If 1 set only, I use the bar staff as set #2.)
                              My method: Say "Hello" or "Wow" > shy look > starry-eyed look > spamming cold-read-compliments + feather light touches

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                Originally posted by ijjjji View Post
                                If there are 1-3 sets in total, I do a particular thing - a 'curiosity throw'. It works a bit like rappelling hook + rope, used to haul myself from one set to the next and the next and the next. (If 1 set only, I use the bar staff as set #2.)
                                ok thanks
                                cool
                                i do something similar actually also w more sets - my hook is the up-nod ive described many places and then a "hey is that a xxx/ Are you xxx" or whatever w a curious-screeny face
                                .
                                Heard you not the type that you take home to mom

                                Glows Log

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