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  • #16
    I realized I wouldn't really be judged by most others for the quality of my work, but rather my degree of success.
    Huge point.

    That shit is poison to me. You're an alpha-minded guy working as a beta though surrounded by this kind of poison, which will come with its particular set of issues. Maybe as you pave your way you'll have more first hand advice on how to work with jealous colleagues within a closed system that isn't "yours," or else find a way to create your own thing that you have control over.

    This is why I left my last position. My results were better than anyone else on the team. I talked to people like a boss and co-workers didn't like that, got jealous, and would sabotage. It's hard to be a boss in a beta system. Maybe some more finesse would have been better, but for me now it's best to just create my own way.
    I go home 2-4 times a year for a week or two at a time. That's more than enough for me. I don't really see that as "going home" though, its my father's home. Home is what I've set up for myself in LA. And as far as old friends. . . I mean. . time does its damage to that. . . I'm pretty good seeing my aging fat divorced father-of-3 high school friends who still play poker the exact same night we used to 15 years ago fairly infrequently lol. The divide between those that go for it and those that stay behind becomes greater and greater as the years go by, and honestly I have to tone talking about my own life WAY down at this point when I go back home to that. "You can't go home" is for real, you have to create your own home.

    @Jester I think it may be true that moving on even further from your old friends would be positive for you. My friends from high school, even college are hard to relate to anymore. Most of my high school friends are exactly that, married with kids and fat. Even my old pick up friends are comparatively losers who I drifted away from after they would just stay at their houses and get drunk together instead of going out. I even cut ties with a natural who all he could do was fuck bitches, but get no money. My guess is that you just keep elevating your game. I now interact with entrepreneurs and nomads and relate with them the best.

    Question for you PE, who do you find in your circle now? Is it that you go around with LA bosses all the time and you are king chief? Or is it that you all are kind of on the same level? Thinking about it on the primal, evolutionary level, an alpha probably would have had two or three that were like knights or some shit second in command and then all the other betas. Then likely he would be on the same level with the other tribal leaders from different regions.
    -Supernova

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    • #17
      Originally posted by pureevil View Post
      Yeah there's a big difference between colleagues and family/friends/everyone else. Success will satisfy your family and friends who want what's best for you (and tend to think "the safe path" is the way to go until you prove them wrong). It will also quickly qualify your alternate lifestyle to anyone else you interact with (who isn't a colleague). The power of "success" was made blatantly clear about 9 years ago on a flight where I sat next to an older lady. She was asking about what I do, and I said music, and she said "do you live off of it or work a day job?" I said "I live off it quite nicely right now" and she said "I'm sure I wouldn't like the music, but I'm not supposed to I'm the grandma now, but its great seeing a successful young man going after his dreams and living off of it." This was an eye opening moment for me. I realized I wouldn't really be judged by most others for the quality of my work, but rather my degree of success. My target market. . . THEY want quality. But family and other people I interact with, they judge on SUCCESS. If you demonstrate success, then betas fall in line and go to work for you (including defending you to the death), as they're programmed to with an alpha that's proven himself.

      Colleagues, however, can feel jealous by success, since they're in direct competition with you for this success. I've never personally been trapped in a closed system like you've experienced, where negativity can fester for years without elimination, so this didn't immediately come to my mind. My colleague competition is competitive but positive and full of earned mutual respect. Me personally, I can't take working within red tape laden closed systems created by someone else, I've created my own thing so I'm able to simply eliminate those that operate from a negative mindset in any way. That shit is poison to me. You're an alpha-minded guy working as a beta though surrounded by this kind of poison, which will come with its particular set of issues. Maybe as you pave your way you'll have more first hand advice on how to work with jealous colleagues within a closed system that isn't "yours," or else find a way to create your own thing that you have control over.
      Wow, thank you for that. Put this way, it's very logical, really, how being in a closed-off environment like that will get people to fight for the "alpha slots" that are there, and how people will use whatever methods at their command to make sure they at least look the most competent regardless of the question if they are. I've seen the same happening to my sister who works as a hairdresser, but she came up on top after a while because her co-worker was too incompetent to hide her doing well enough in front of the boss.

      I suppose what I've been looking for in the school system is a superior who truly cares for quality work, and as my friend who works for the teacher's union told me there's a 0,02% chance of finding such a headmaster in the public school system at all, especially in primary school. Which is probably why I decided (without knowing clearly what I was about to do) to leave the school system to become self-employed. At the moment I work part-time in a job I love and where I get recognized for the things I do (and the things I fail to do in a quality way) so it's a nice training ground. Plus it gives me the financial and temporal freedom to follow through with publishing that first book I planned to publish for years now.

      I don't think money really determines my idea of success, but it's enlightening to see it as something most (!) people view as a general measure of success with which they will measure you. If I can get more than a few people to read my first book and pay for it, now that would mean success for me for starters.

      Originally posted by pureevil View Post
      I go home 2-4 times a year for a week or two at a time. That's more than enough for me. I don't really see that as "going home" though, its my father's home. Home is what I've set up for myself in LA. And as far as old friends. . . I mean. . time does its damage to that. . . I'm pretty good seeing my aging fat divorced father-of-3 high school friends who still play poker the exact same night we used to 15 years ago fairly infrequently lol. The divide between those that go for it and those that stay behind becomes greater and greater as the years go by, and honestly I have to tone talking about my own life WAY down at this point when I go back home to that. "You can't go home" is for real, you have to create your own home.
      I have some similar old friends, like one that refuses to play any other board game than the one we used to play for like 10 years because he would otherwise have to learn new rules, god beware. I don't know how to feel about him to be honest. It kind of makes me sad to see him stay this way, but on the other hand I'm pretty sure he might kill himself if I stop seeing him alltogether for he tells me he has no other friends anymore. I do seldomly these days, but still.
      Damn, writing this I just realized he might need quite a kick in the ass. He's quite dangerously close to suicide though, so it's quite a delicate thing.

      Originally posted by pureevil View Post
      This is where money helps. Money is the most freeing value-exchanger out there. Without it, you need to rely on favors by family and friends, which come with their own price in other ways (returned favors, dependency, inability to move away etc etc.) With it, the value exchange is over as soon as you pay the person looking after your kids, and thus you're always free.
      This is where I partly disagree. Especially younger children seem to have a certain need for secure bonds and repetition in relationships. So having at least a few repeating connections seems to be quite important to me. Of course you can pay the very same someone to come by often, but this will usually imply being at certain places for longer periods of time again.

      Originally posted by pureevil View Post
      I'm going to raise my children in MY home in California, not my father's home on the east coast.

      Honestly, seeing family twice a year or so for a week or two each time should be plenty! Perhaps its a cultural difference, but I think putting off opportunities for yourself as a 20-something because you miss your parents and friends is on the harmful side of things. You want to create your OWN home, with your OWN girl(s), and your OWN kids who'll move 1000 miles from you and do the same themselves when they hit 20. I feel like you're on the verge of going from seeing "home" as you as a kid in your father's family, to you being your own man with your own family. Once you make that shift then doing your own thing away from the constraints of family will become more natural for you.
      Living pretty close to my family and old friends I am already able to sever connections quite naturally, actually I have a harder time keeping those connections alive than not being imprisoned by them. Like, I basically tend to "forget" who I was connected with, and I am already quite free of my upbringing's conditioning as far as I can measure that objectively. The more difficult problem for me is truly connecting, with certain people or places. Most connections I make, especially with places, feel rather provisionally, and it's kind of difficult for me to make myself truly care for a place when I don't consider it a place I'm going to spend more time with. Perhaps it's because I've moved 4 times in the last 1,5 years and had 5 different jobs, I don't know. I guess I don't really want to glue myself to any single place anyway, but to have a certain "basecamp" from where to go on my adventures, that would be nice somehow.


      I want to thank you for this conversation, it really helps me think hard about my life and how I want to lead it. I greatly appreciate that.

      Jester
      Bunterrichten - Alternativen zum Unter-richten:

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      • #18
        Originally posted by Jester View Post
        At the moment I work part-time in a job I love and where I get recognized for the things I do (and the things I fail to do in a quality way) so it's a nice training ground. Plus it gives me the financial and temporal freedom to follow through with publishing that first book I planned to publish for years now.

        I don't think money really determines my idea of success, but it's enlightening to see it as something most (!) people view as a general measure of success with which they will measure you. If I can get more than a few people to read my first book and pay for it, now that would mean success for me for starters.
        I think that's a great starter.

        Thinking further along your particular lines. . . When I was in high school I had an exceptional teacher, a guy in his late 30s I'm guessing. He was super passionate and loved teaching and was everyone's favorite teacher, but would get visibly brought down by the red tape system he was trapped in (he could get kinda whiny tbh, the flip side of being emotionally passionate.). After a few years, he gave up teaching the standard 8-3 school day and ended up moving to a larger city and creating his own after school educational program with his brother, focusing on his own areas of interest and the mission of inspiring people in his own ways. I don't rememeber his specific focus (inspiring the underprivileged, or working with exceptional students to reach higher heights. . I'm not sure, there's a near infinite need for additional inspiring education in the world, all kinds of niches.) This is a possibility for your future.

        What creating your own thing does is give you power to create and maintain your own culture, which makes every single moment of work life more pleasurable. While its more difficult and risky to start your own thing, the power to create your own culture sounds much more up your alley in the long run than battling through an aimless and visionless red tape system.

        Money and established social recognition (IE the Pulitzer, a newspaper article of praise, a string of great reviews by respected critics, etc etc) ,are what validate success to the masses. It is what it is. . these play to base level human survival instinct. As a teacher there isn't much money to be made, so it makes sense that a well-received book is your first step to proving yourself as something more exceptional than the everyday teacher, thus earning respect among others, and thus gaining more alpha leverage among those around you.

        Originally posted by Jester View Post
        This is where I partly disagree. Especially younger children seem to have a certain need for secure bonds and repetition in relationships. So having at least a few repeating connections seems to be quite important to me. Of course you can pay the very same someone to come by often, but this will usually imply being at certain places for longer periods of time again.
        For sure, many things to consider in choosing a caretaker. My point was that I wouldn't be locked into living where my parents live, because I can afford to pay someone to fill that role instead of relying on familial favors, not that it would allow me to be more nomadic, which isn't really my thing, I'm a "plant roots and grow" guy. I just want to plant my own roots wherever I want and not be reliant on being in proximity to my family. . which can be as much of a prison as money.

        Money is definitely super tricky. Well managed money though, as part of a balanced lifestyle and without an obsession over it = the most freedom you can possibly achieve in life.

        Originally posted by Supernova View Post

        Question for you PE, who do you find in your circle now? Is it that you go around with LA bosses all the time and you are king chief? Or is it that you all are kind of on the same level? Thinking about it on the primal, evolutionary level, an alpha probably would have had two or three that were like knights or some shit second in command and then all the other betas. Then likely he would be on the same level with the other tribal leaders from different regions.
        I have a couple of different circles, two main ones that I run with co-alphas that offer complementary strengths (they do them, I do me, we council each other when needed, and it all adds up to the full package.) This is all "on the same level" yes, and when it comes to working with industry folks, you're also dealing with more alpha types doing their own thing. So long as everyone has respect for each other and is the alpha of their own role, it all works out nicely. I am in the "buck stops here" position though, as my role is the most pivotal in the whole thing which gives me the most leverage (I can also play the "I'm the creative, and I need xyz from all of you in order for me to make the most profitable product for us all" which gives me power over everything and everyone else, so long as I don't play this card too much and cross the line into being whiny. Its rare I have to play this card though, for the most part everyone knows this is the case and the conversation tends to start with what I want, with everyone else then working to help make that happen.)

        The above is on the business side. On the creative/production side of things, my main role in the business, I'm put in the position of leading small groups of creative personalities (translation: on the more emotional and fragile side of things) that are often thrown together somewhat randomly in a dice roll towards a common vision that will make everyone involved money. This requires in-the-moment leadership, based on a history that led to earned respect where everyone showing up is there to defer and support.

        To me its all about "culture." I like to create a positive, fun, creative, money-making culture that people WANT to be a part of. Which ups my selectivity, which ups my earned respect, which ups my power in the moment. "If you build it, they will come."

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        • #19
          Originally posted by thecostofsuccess View Post
          . . .

          So sometimes, in order to de-bullshittify
          You go omega...

          . . .

          Maybe that sounds like jibber jabber nonsense,
          but I just think, there is something WEIRD about rising up into that zone
          Well SOMEONE is rising into that zone. Better me than others, is how I see it

          Your options are basically alpha (rise to the leadership and power position yourself and create/control the system/culture), beta (submit to the system/culture created by someone else who successfully rose to the power position), or sigma (tap out of the system, you neither create and lead culture nor buy into culture, you just do you independently of anything else. This forum for some reason uses "omega" to mean "sigma," but omega historically means you buy into the system/culture like a beta but are as low as it gets within the system.)

          Comment


          • #20
            love money but I hate the shit that I often have to do to get a lot of it. still experimenting to find the optimal method for myself.
            great thread.

            there was a study that was done that if you make 30k year you're technically top 1% globally.

            remember, china essentially has a slave class. which globalists are leveraging against western civilization.

            with navigating betas and societal conditioning there are 8-10 lines that disable people so it's good to train yourself into them. I remember Kant talk about this with his blue pill work but having red pill knowledge.

            eg)
            being a player -> just haven't met the one yet
            not working a normal job -> haven't found my calling
            no kids -> building a solid foundation
            not going to social events/obligations -> really swamped with work right now

            In General = I haven't found the thing that makes me happy. People can't really argue with that lol.

            etc. etc. there's probably more clever ones. this is still exhausting and ideally you get yourself to position where you don't have to do this as often but still useful if you don't have position.

            Comment


            • #21
              Originally posted by pureevil View Post
              Well SOMEONE is rising into that zone. Better me than others, is how I see it

              Your options are basically alpha (rise to the leadership and power position yourself and create/control the system/culture), beta (submit to the system/culture created by someone else who successfully rose to the power position), or sigma (tap out of the system, you neither create and lead culture nor buy into culture, you just do you independently of anything else. This forum for some reason uses "omega" to mean "sigma," but omega historically means you buy into the system/culture like a beta but are as low as it gets within the system.)
              I think that most people with success, are victims of their own confirmation biases though.
              I mean, SOMEONE has to win, yes.
              But because someone wins, it doesn't mean BAM, they did something magically different.
              It just means they had good fortune mixing with their efforts... which no one is a god of, and cannot control.

              So, choosing to do so, is just that, a choice. It doesn't in itself mean, you command power over success...
              More or less, it is just how the cookie crumbles, regardless of how hard a person held their nerve.

              ...

              Personally, I only really attribute successes to those who ACCEPT the prices paid
              So guys who don't ccomplain about how hard it was to make it, and now its "indisputeable" how inferior others are to him/her
              That is just terrible confirmation bias... I could win in a scenario and easily believe it was my efforts, only to lose another day and get embarassed,
              All people arre this way, but as we go on, we try to suppress it in ever more imaginative ways... or try to "answer" the question, by putting weight on things tthat may not even be true inndicators.
              I like when guys are like, "aight I succeeded, cool, that was my choice, right or wrong..." and don't make the assumption everything else is now irrelevant. Cuz at least they are more open to accurate indications? Not stewing in some conflated theory that marks them as superman.

              Seems to me, that its important to not overstate success or its importance or I think things can become... inaccurate.
              For example, society will never be full of successfful people. There will always be inbetweens, and a great variety of them.
              To act as though only the top is relevant ignores the function of everything else.
              And starving those functions is not only unrealistic, its perhaps damaging for the sake of pride and ignorance, so... yeah...
              I think I have a definite LIMIT when it comes to saying success = correct action. Cuz thinking they are equivalent can encourage GREAT inaccuracy.

              So...
              I dunno, I think you can be too blind in the pursuit of winning and therefor lose perspective on other dynamics that are valuable.
              So as much as success is good, it should only be a portion of what you ever attribute your own value to. Otherwise it is just confirmation bias, needed to puff ones chest up.

              Some people in this way are really really beta with money/fame/success
              Which is something to note, even if its not a refutation of what you are saying

              Comment


              • #22
                Originally posted by pureevil View Post
                I think that's a great starter.

                Thinking further along your particular lines. . . When I was in high school I had an exceptional teacher, a guy in his late 30s I'm guessing. He was super passionate and loved teaching and was everyone's favorite teacher, but would get visibly brought down by the red tape system he was trapped in (he could get kinda whiny tbh, the flip side of being emotionally passionate.). After a few years, he gave up teaching the standard 8-3 school day and ended up moving to a larger city and creating his own after school educational program with his brother, focusing on his own areas of interest and the mission of inspiring people in his own ways. I don't rememeber his specific focus (inspiring the underprivileged, or working with exceptional students to reach higher heights. . I'm not sure, there's a near infinite need for additional inspiring education in the world, all kinds of niches.) This is a possibility for your future.

                What creating your own thing does is give you power to create and maintain your own culture, which makes every single moment of work life more pleasurable. While its more difficult and risky to start your own thing, the power to create your own culture sounds much more up your alley in the long run than battling through an aimless and visionless red tape system.

                Money and established social recognition (IE the Pulitzer, a newspaper article of praise, a string of great reviews by respected critics, etc etc) ,are what validate success to the masses. It is what it is. . these play to base level human survival instinct. As a teacher there isn't much money to be made, so it makes sense that a well-received book is your first step to proving yourself as something more exceptional than the everyday teacher, thus earning respect among others, and thus gaining more alpha leverage among those around you.
                I have waited for a while to reply to you because yesterday I had an appointment with my superior and I wanted to see what she would say about my work so far. I've experienced a few times now that whenever I do really good work and people notice, I'll get "punished" in some way by jealous people, but judging from my conversation yesterday, my superior is rather fascinated by what I've accomplished so far. So in a way I seem to have found an environment that values what I do for the moment.

                I've been thinking about founding an alternative school or something like that somewhen in the future because I seem to be quite good at it, but in my country you get like no state funding at all so usually the parents have to pay a shitload of money or the teachers earn close to nothing which makes it hard to keep quality ones (or both). But perhaps creating something that's not meant to replace school but complement it might be an interesting option, thank you for that. In a way, it's what I am working at right now anyway. Since what I'm working at is project-based (between the government and a big social company) I might be able to learn how to make a deal with the government so I can create something from scratch myself somewhen in the future.

                My superior asked me if I was interested in leadership work and how its done higher up the ranks yesterday and I (truthfully) told her I am quite interested in how everything works although (also because my gf is from another country and much is open because of that) I really cannot say if I'll be here in 5 years or not, so if they "build me up" as they call it they might lose the investment. I also told her that I took this job I got now to lead a sub-institution that has a history of people taking over and then leaving after a few months, and I feel responsible to at least lead it until it basically runs itself, probably like 1-2 years minimum. I also told her about that book I'm writing and how I'd love to be able to live off from writing, although I really enjoy this teacher and leadership stuff as well. I know she values honesty and authenticity, as do I, so I figured I'll just be honest as I am with pretty much anyone. It's a very big social institution I'm working for, who knows perhaps I'll be writing for it (they got a lot of magazines and reports they publish, ..)

                I'll probably feel my very best if I am doing my very own thing, but I don't feel 100% ready to live off only that yet, more like 80% or so. But it seems a very worthwhile goal in the long run.

                Originally posted by pureevil View Post
                For sure, many things to consider in choosing a caretaker. My point was that I wouldn't be locked into living where my parents live, because I can afford to pay someone to fill that role instead of relying on familial favors, not that it would allow me to be more nomadic, which isn't really my thing, I'm a "plant roots and grow" guy. I just want to plant my own roots wherever I want and not be reliant on being in proximity to my family. . which can be as much of a prison as money.

                Money is definitely super tricky. Well managed money though, as part of a balanced lifestyle and without an obsession over it = the most freedom you can possibly achieve in life.
                Was expecting a reply like this to be honest. Pretty much agree.

                Originally posted by pureevil View Post
                To me its all about "culture." I like to create a positive, fun, creative, money-making culture that people WANT to be a part of. Which ups my selectivity, which ups my earned respect, which ups my power in the moment. "If you build it, they will come."
                This was also interesting for me because when I look at things through this lense, I probably do a lot of culture work at my workplace, creating a culture of "I can" in the kids and everyone, especially when they come from family/social backgrounds that basically tell them "you can't". Gonna think more about this.

                Originally posted by thecostofsuccess View Post
                I think that most people with success, are victims of their own confirmation biases though.
                I mean, SOMEONE has to win, yes.
                But because someone wins, it doesn't mean BAM, they did something magically different.
                It just means they had good fortune mixing with their efforts... which no one is a god of, and cannot control.

                So, choosing to do so, is just that, a choice. It doesn't in itself mean, you command power over success...
                More or less, it is just how the cookie crumbles, regardless of how hard a person held their nerve.

                ...

                Personally, I only really attribute successes to those who ACCEPT the prices paid
                So guys who don't ccomplain about how hard it was to make it, and now its "indisputeable" how inferior others are to him/her
                That is just terrible confirmation bias... I could win in a scenario and easily believe it was my efforts, only to lose another day and get embarassed,
                All people arre this way, but as we go on, we try to suppress it in ever more imaginative ways... or try to "answer" the question, by putting weight on things tthat may not even be true inndicators.
                I like when guys are like, "aight I succeeded, cool, that was my choice, right or wrong..." and don't make the assumption everything else is now irrelevant. Cuz at least they are more open to accurate indications? Not stewing in some conflated theory that marks them as superman.

                Seems to me, that its important to not overstate success or its importance or I think things can become... inaccurate.
                For example, society will never be full of successfful people. There will always be inbetweens, and a great variety of them.
                To act as though only the top is relevant ignores the function of everything else.
                And starving those functions is not only unrealistic, its perhaps damaging for the sake of pride and ignorance, so... yeah...
                I think I have a definite LIMIT when it comes to saying success = correct action. Cuz thinking they are equivalent can encourage GREAT inaccuracy.

                So...
                I dunno, I think you can be too blind in the pursuit of winning and therefor lose perspective on other dynamics that are valuable.
                So as much as success is good, it should only be a portion of what you ever attribute your own value to. Otherwise it is just confirmation bias, needed to puff ones chest up.

                Some people in this way are really really beta with money/fame/success
                Which is something to note, even if its not a refutation of what you are saying
                In the Tao Te King, you'll find a lot about "doing without doing" and how this non-action it is the king of how to achieve what you want. It's the ability to realize what you see to be the right future without (seemingly) having to work for it. It also says "It cannot easily be explained" and I do agree, but especially in my area of work (education) I've found that the teachers who will act a lot and are very controlling of educational situations usually have worse returns than those who practice the doing without doing approach (I've seen very few who are able to use the latter though). If you use the latter approach, for a time it might seem as if things get worse before it gets (much!) better, and it's a necessary in-between step for any lasting change to happen, but depending on when you look at it, an observer ignorant of this ever-repeating change-process might either say you're brilliant or you're a complete failure. In many cases, the best job a wise teacher can do is to be there unfazed and observe without judging. It helps people bear the moment of surrendering that foregoes any real development, and it allows them to act out whatever is needed so they can take that last step. Again, from an ignorant observer view, the observer could think "Wtf can't the teacher see the kid is in emotional pain? Why is that fool not doing anything?" So what you do to enable success is often very hard to judge. Enable is the keyword here, or perhaps "allow" fits, too. You usually can't force success, but you can allow it to happen. Whenever there are other people involved (like, almost always) success isn't only dependent on you allowing it but also on what those other people do. So yeah, it's not just about what you do or don't do. But if you don't allow it to happen yourself (because your subconscious cannot handle you being a winner since it's used to you losing for example) outside influences won't matter too much, you'll (again subconsciously) work hard to prevent the stuff from happening.

                Jester
                Bunterrichten - Alternativen zum Unter-richten:

                Comment


                • #23
                  I have waited for a while to reply to you because yesterday I had an appointment with my superior and I wanted to see what she would say about my work so far. I've experienced a few times now that whenever I do really good work and people notice, I'll get "punished" in some way by jealous people, but judging from my conversation yesterday, my superior is rather fascinated by what I've accomplished so far. So in a way I seem to have found an environment that values what I do for the moment.

                  I've been thinking about founding an alternative school or something like that somewhen in the future because I seem to be quite good at it, but in my country you get like no state funding at all so usually the parents have to pay a shitload of money or the teachers earn close to nothing which makes it hard to keep quality ones (or both). But perhaps creating something that's not meant to replace school but complement it might be an interesting option, thank you for that. In a way, it's what I am working at right now anyway. Since what I'm working at is project-based (between the government and a big social company) I might be able to learn how to make a deal with the government so I can create something from scratch myself somewhen in the future.

                  My superior asked me if I was interested in leadership work and how its done higher up the ranks yesterday and I (truthfully) told her I am quite interested in how everything works although (also because my gf is from another country and much is open because of that) I really cannot say if I'll be here in 5 years or not, so if they "build me up" as they call it they might lose the investment. I also told her that I took this job I got now to lead a sub-institution that has a history of people taking over and then leaving after a few months, and I feel responsible to at least lead it until it basically runs itself, probably like 1-2 years minimum. I also told her about that book I'm writing and how I'd love to be able to live off from writing, although I really enjoy this teacher and leadership stuff as well. I know she values honesty and authenticity, as do I, so I figured I'll just be honest as I am with pretty much anyone. It's a very big social institution I'm working for, who knows perhaps I'll be writing for it (they got a lot of magazines and reports they publish, ..)


                  This is part of the distinction that we have been talking about. And as my understanding of this has grown...

                  Your superior is a feudalistic term. You are less than this other person? You are less important? Less influential or anyway less than than them? I know you can say semantics, however this is what you are imposing on yourself and as such what most people are doing as well.

                  To accept that you have a superior, you have to reserve yourself to being under them, less then them and in some way less important in whatever system you are referring to. While this isn't necessary bad and most of the time good for most people, this is exactly what the people that we are talking about don't do for the most part.

                  Look at the example of the alphas, all the way from the Henry Fords to the Steve Jobs, they ran their show. Ghengis Khan. Floyd Mayweather. They ran their system.

                  In the Tao Te King, you'll find a lot about "doing without doing" and how this non-action it is the king of how to achieve what you want. It's the ability to realize what you see to be the right future without (seemingly) having to work for it.


                  How do you know who the leader is? The leader is the man who says nothing, but knows the power is there. We learned this in group theory. The one fighting for attention and saying he is the leader never is. The same is true about change, influence, and leading a country. In just about every system (excluding our current one where Trump says a bunch of stuff), the leader takes on the confidence of knowing that they lead. It is just what they do and what they are about.


                  It also says "It cannot easily be explained" and I do agree, but especially in my area of work (education) I've found that the teachers who will act a lot and are very controlling of educational situations usually have worse returns than those who practice the doing without doing approach (I've seen very few who are able to use the latter though). If you use the latter approach, for a time it might seem as if things get worse before it gets (much!) better, and it's a necessary in-between step for any lasting change to happen, but depending on
                  when you look at it, an observer ignorant of this ever-repeating change-process might either say you're brilliant or you're a complete failure. In many cases, the best job a wise teacher can do is to be there unfazed and observe without judging. It helps people bear the moment of surrendering that foregoes any real development, and it allows them to act out whatever is needed so they can take that last step. Again, from an ignorant observer view, the observer could think "Wtf can't the teacher see the kid is in emotional pain? Why is that fool not doing anything?" So what you do to enable success is often very hard to judge. Enable is the keyword here, or perhaps "allow" fits, too. You usually can't force success, but you can allow it to happen. Whenever there are other people involved (like, almost always) success isn't only dependent on you allowing it but also on what those other people do. So yeah, it's not just about what you do or don't do. But if you don't allow it to happen yourself (because your subconscious cannot handle you being a winner since it's used to you losing for example) outside influences won't matter too much, you'll (again subconsciously) work hard to prevent the stuff from happening.
                  Your passion project is great and aside from the awareness that you might currently have about other perceptions, these leaders we are speaking of are never in this field. Why do you think that is?

                  Yes, sometimes they are giving tons of money to things like education, like Melinda and Bill Gates are, but you never see the cream of the cream working here.

                  My thoughts are that the leaders (again we are talking tops here, the alphas) are focused on things with more returns. No one is providing steak and meat plants to 3rd world countries because their ROI just isn't as significant as selling BMWs to rich fat bastards. Sometimes it is necessary for schools to be vastly improved (never has such been more true than now), but resources just aren't allocated or even efficiently for these things. Don't get me wrong, I feel school has to change and in doing so we can sustain our species. I even have a friend of a friend that has started a private "college" where they teach actual skills that people will use and be able to make money at, but it's likely to fail. However, Prada heels and Gucci bags will live on.

                  I say these things in kindness and not to divert you from your path, but this post is of course contrasting a beta view of life , which you have given us a pretty good example of even here (with the school and them owning you), and an alpha way of thinking about life, one that I am still trying to understand more about.
                  -Supernova

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Originally posted by thecostofsuccess View Post
                    I think that most people with success, are victims of their own confirmation biases though.
                    I mean, SOMEONE has to win, yes.
                    But because someone wins, it doesn't mean BAM, they did something magically different.
                    It just means they had good fortune mixing with their efforts... which no one is a god of, and cannot control.

                    So, choosing to do so, is just that, a choice. It doesn't in itself mean, you command power over success...
                    More or less, it is just how the cookie crumbles, regardless of how hard a person held their nerve.

                    ...

                    Personally, I only really attribute successes to those who ACCEPT the prices paid
                    So guys who don't ccomplain about how hard it was to make it, and now its "indisputeable" how inferior others are to him/her
                    That is just terrible confirmation bias... I could win in a scenario and easily believe it was my efforts, only to lose another day and get embarassed,
                    All people arre this way, but as we go on, we try to suppress it in ever more imaginative ways... or try to "answer" the question, by putting weight on things tthat may not even be true inndicators.
                    I like when guys are like, "aight I succeeded, cool, that was my choice, right or wrong..." and don't make the assumption everything else is now irrelevant. Cuz at least they are more open to accurate indications? Not stewing in some conflated theory that marks them as superman.

                    Seems to me, that its important to not overstate success or its importance or I think things can become... inaccurate.
                    For example, society will never be full of successfful people. There will always be inbetweens, and a great variety of them.
                    To act as though only the top is relevant ignores the function of everything else.
                    And starving those functions is not only unrealistic, its perhaps damaging for the sake of pride and ignorance, so... yeah...
                    I think I have a definite LIMIT when it comes to saying success = correct action. Cuz thinking they are equivalent can encourage GREAT inaccuracy.

                    So...
                    I dunno, I think you can be too blind in the pursuit of winning and therefor lose perspective on other dynamics that are valuable.
                    So as much as success is good, it should only be a portion of what you ever attribute your own value to. Otherwise it is just confirmation bias, needed to puff ones chest up.

                    Some people in this way are really really beta with money/fame/success
                    Which is something to note, even if its not a refutation of what you are saying
                    For sure, all solid points.

                    Most of what you wrote is a warning about imbalance, or overindulgence, or misuse. Which applies to pretty much everything in life. . . IE you can overindulge in drinking too much water and end up dead lol. What success does is simply put you in a position where betas will naturally follow you (allowing you to create your own culture and work environment, that you can set up entirely to your taste whatever that may be), while shutting up all the naysayer betas that are friends/family (a legit issue, family/friend support is very helpful psychologically). The culture you choose to create is entirely up to you, and agreed those that create an "I'm better than you" etc etc culture once finding success aren't creating the most enjoyable or productive environment for themselves. . that's a pretty dumb move even from a cold hard money-making business perspective, indicative of LSE issues.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Originally posted by pureevil View Post
                      For sure, all solid points.

                      Most of what you wrote is a warning about imbalance, or overindulgence, or misuse. Which applies to pretty much everything in life. . . IE you can overindulge in drinking too much water and end up dead lol. What success does is simply put you in a position where betas will naturally follow you (allowing you to create your own culture and work environment, that you can set up entirely to your taste whatever that may be), while shutting up all the naysayer betas that are friends/family (a legit issue, family/friend support is very helpful psychologically). The culture you choose to create is entirely up to you, and agreed those that create an "I'm better than you" etc etc culture once finding success aren't creating the most enjoyable or productive environment for themselves. . that's a pretty dumb move even from a cold hard money-making business perspective, indicative of LSE issues.
                      I think thats why I appreciate this community. LSE issues aren't overlooked.
                      In things like biz, it gets overlooked cuz its seen as "double the work", and because benefit is measured only monetarily people don't change from their crabby self oriented beginnings, not like in sed where we know certain things are stuff you gotta fix.

                      I don't think what I am saying is only overindulging though, I think it is the omission of changing how you approach things.
                      I think it is absolutely critical to change ones own views, or the beta inside you, will trickle down, fucking up others.
                      Its terrible stuff. You gotta be the right man imo, or you just shift who has what.

                      Perfect isnt attainable, but the effort matters imo. To hash out ones own shit before totally trying to take over anything :P

                      Outside of that small adjustment I agree

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Originally posted by Supernova View Post

                        This is part of the distinction that we have been talking about. And as my understanding of this has grown...

                        Your superior is a feudalistic term. You are less than this other person? You are less important? Less influential or anyway less than than them? I know you can say semantics, however this is what you are imposing on yourself and as such what most people are doing as well.

                        To accept that you have a superior, you have to reserve yourself to being under them, less then them and in some way less important in whatever system you are referring to. While this isn't necessary bad and most of the time good for most people, this is exactly what the people that we are talking about don't do for the most part.

                        Look at the example of the alphas, all the way from the Henry Fords to the Steve Jobs, they ran their show. Ghengis Khan. Floyd Mayweather. They ran their system.


                        English isn't my native language (which is German), so I might be using certain terms based on a believe about what they mean instead of their correct specific meaning. I don't consider myself any less (or more) important than anyone else, really. But there are two types of systems in place that run somewhat parallel and that I'm still learning to navigate. One is about actual power to influence people, or "base work", as my superior called it. I know that how I treat the kids will influence those kids a lot more than what my superior is doing seen from an everyday comparison. I see them 2-3 times a week for a few hours and greatly influence them (and their parents, and their friends, and others) while my superior sees them perhaps once every quarter or half a year. For those kids, I'm much more important than her, and I realize that. Then again, there is this other way of viewing power relations in which she is my superior and has certain power over me as long as I officially work "under her". It's somewhat a fact that if I would violate the trust she puts in me very harshly, it's in her power to replace me with someone else, which would drastically reduce my own power to influence those exact kids for the better. She cannot take away my ability to do what I do, or my self-esteem because after going through so much frustration with past superiors I finally realized how good I am at what I do. Again, I use the word "superior" here to describe someone's formal ability to remove my position in a specific system, which has nothing to do with him or her actually being "better" than me.

                        One of the main reasons I haven't started my own thing for real yet is that I think there are many areas of business I have yet to get a full grasp of, and I would like to find myself some mentors who really know much more than I do in certain areas that I can rely on for knowledge and wisdom. I'm quite an amazing teacher and I seem to be quite good at leading other people to become great teachers too, but I have little to no practical experience in how to run my own business in a sustainable way yet. I usually like to go about things I want to learn in a babystep and experimental way so I can not only "find out how it's done" but rather find my very own way of how to do things in a way that's fitting who I am. I trust my ability to teach well, but I don't trust my abilities to run a business enough to get some money from somewhere else (like a bank, or investors) and be sure to create a sustainable business that allows me to teach and live off it. I got little to no savings at the moment, and if I was to rely on outside money for a business I want to be at least 80% sure I can pull it off. Would be easier to experiment for me if it was my own money I'm wasting if things go wrong, which is why I'm saving up a few hundred € per month so as to get me into a comfortable starting position for any future project I'll start off. I could probably pull it off right away if I tried, but as I said I really like the baby-step approach of slowly realizing a future I have a vague vision of and making it real step by step.

                        Originally posted by Supernova View Post
                        How do you know who the leader is? The leader is the man who says nothing, but knows the power is there. We learned this in group theory. The one fighting for attention and saying he is the leader never is. The same is true about change, influence, and leading a country. In just about every system (excluding our current one where Trump says a bunch of stuff), the leader takes on the confidence of knowing that they lead. It is just what they do and what they are about.
                        Exactly.

                        Originally posted by Supernova View Post
                        Your passion project is great and aside from the awareness that you might currently have about other perceptions, these leaders we are speaking of are never in this field. Why do you think that is?

                        Yes, sometimes they are giving tons of money to things like education, like Melinda and Bill Gates are, but you never see the cream of the cream working here.

                        My thoughts are that the leaders (again we are talking tops here, the alphas) are focused on things with more returns. No one is providing steak and meat plants to 3rd world countries because their ROI just isn't as significant as selling BMWs to rich fat bastards. Sometimes it is necessary for schools to be vastly improved (never has such been more true than now), but resources just aren't allocated or even efficiently for these things. Don't get me wrong, I feel school has to change and in doing so we can sustain our species. I even have a friend of a friend that has started a private "college" where they teach actual skills that people will use and be able to make money at, but it's likely to fail. However, Prada heels and Gucci bags will live on.

                        I say these things in kindness and not to divert you from your path, but this post is of course contrasting a beta view of life , which you have given us a pretty good example of even here (with the school and them owning you), and an alpha way of thinking about life, one that I am still trying to understand more about.
                        There is a problem with that though, which is that some problems cannot really be solved by allocating money differently. To be honest I don't know too much about US schools for I've never been there, but here in Austria allocating about double the current budget to schools (which is already really high), although it will definitely enable certain changes, will not really help better those schools. There are so many systematic issues that have very little to do with financing the schools better but rather with the way people see teaching. In fact, if people would realize certain illusions about teaching were, well, just illusions, schools could probably run much more efficiently on even less budget than now. Like Einstein is supposed to have been saying, "You can't fix a problem by doing more of the same". In my current job I am lucky to have to deal with university students who aspire to become teachers (I always wanted to be able to teach teachers) and from what they tell me they study the exact same shit that I had to study when going to university to become a teacher. 80% of it is total crap and very ineffective. Now they are changing the primary school teacher studies to make them last 5 years instead of three, and from what those students tell me they just changed it from hearing three years of crap to now having to undergo five years of hearing crap (and having to answer the very same crap in the tests you need to take to become a teacher even if the supposedly "correct" answer is just plain wrong). Yes, money helps partly to create an environment in which people can work better. But it won't change the systemic issues, rather hardening them because with more money you can pay more personell to make up for the problems the system creates by the way it is run so the problems themselves are less likely to be discovered.

                        I am all for focusing on doing what gets higher returns instead of doing lots of hard work for nothing. In fact that's part of my teaching philosophy, I teach the kids to learn effectively instead of hard, and once they realize this is actually possible despite what everyone else is telling them they start to really enjoy learning. I have yet to see a single child that is too stupid or unable to learn, and yet the education system in my country runs based on the idea that there must be some who won't learn. Teachers expect a certain distribution in their classes, and they get it. When I was leading a class, the students were quite different to start with and stayed somewhat different related to their individual areas of interests, but they all did develop massively. I had no slacker student because I refused to accept there'll be at least one in every class like they told me and all the other teachers all throughout our studies.

                        If you have any great ideas about how to create a financially sustainable way of teaching outside of the school system, please let me know. I do feel I have a responsibility to the kids in this institution I took over because the institution has a history of the leaders leaving after a few months, but I trust this institution will run nicely without me in at maximum 1-2 years and then I suppose I'd like to do something else anyway. So if you got any great ideas I'd love to hear them, and perhaps I'll start off preparing for realizing them soon enough.

                        I seriously don't care much about you calling me beta or alpha or omega or whatever for I suppose being proud of being called "alpha" is pretty much the same as being proud to call yourself a muslim or a christian. I don't want to reduce myself to being only alpha, I want to be fluent enough in how I am as to figure out as much of the truth in every aspect of life as I can. No one owns me, but I also don't really enjoy "owning" others, I mostly relate to others more similar to a network model in which hierarchy as such doesn't even exist. Superiority there exists only relatively and temporally, like when I met an old supervisor at a school I was working at I soon realized this guy who was like 75 years old knew a hell of a lot about this world and I could learn a ton from him if I allowed myself to listen closely what he had to say. He did respect me greatly too, so we had a lot of non-work-related discussions about life in general we both enjoyed. He wasn't without error, as was I, and we both knew it, but this guy had lived the poly lifestyle, worked in about 20 different areas of work, spoke several languages and was about the only guy I ever met that I believe was telling the truth when at the end of his life he supposedly said "It's alright to die. I would have enjoyed working a little more, but.. well, why not". In many areas of life, he was my superior in wisdom, while I was his in others (mainly handling emotions, which he usually rather supressed than felt).

                        As I pointed out in the beginning of this post, how I perceive the world, as a really huge network of what I call "relative masters", is very different from how most people perceive the world, which is very hierarchical. Although I enjoy my way of perceiving much more, when talking to other people I usually have to take into account how they live in their hierarchical world and how since I have very little savings I'm still somewhat bound to that world. Plus if I'm going to teach people, they live in that hierarchical worldview too, so I have to watch out not to forget about how it feels inside of there. Of course I could just say "fuck you all" and try to do something else that gets me higher returns for my efforts and forget about the teaching and the truth part, but my problem with that is that I truly do care. Interestingly enough, not really about certain specific people, but more like for people in general. My brother told me once that he doesn't really care if anyone outside of his family and circle of friends lives or dies, but he cares for his "tribe". I am so very different from that. I care much more for the general population and that everyone has a fair chance of leading a good life than I care for my own tribe specifically. I don't even know why that is, it's been this way like forever.

                        Jester
                        Bunterrichten - Alternativen zum Unter-richten:

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          I was in a very very similar place as to where you are now just a few months ago. This helps me understand a lot about seeing the world differently as I do now.

                          Again, I use the word "superior" here to describe someone's formal ability to remove my position in a specific system, which has nothing to do with him or her actually being "better" than me.


                          English or spanish, dutch or german, the message and point of this communication is that you have resigned yourself to someone else having power over you. You could call it boss or slave master, doesn't really matter, and it doesn't have to be bad, but the point of the matter is that this is a choice that you have made. And in context of this conversation, this choice is rarely made the same by the people we are talking about here (call them the alphas for simplicity).

                          One of the main reasons I haven't started my own thing for real yet is that I think there are many areas of business I have yet to get a full grasp of, and I would like to find myself some mentors who really know much more than I do in certain areas that I can rely on for knowledge and wisdom. I'm quite an amazing teacher and I seem to be quite good at leading other people to become great teachers too, but I have little to no practical experience in how to run my own business in a sustainable way yet. I usually like to go about things I want to learn in a babystep and experimental way so I can not only "find out how it's done" but rather find my very own way of how to do things in a way that's fitting who I am.


                          I've been exactly here as well. I tried getting a business mentor, learning shit and baby-stepping and it flopped. I'm at a new point of just going and doing. Not all the way through it so I can't say for sure, but what I wonder is how you went to get good with girls?

                          I know for me, I read the game and thought about shit. Then, one day I just got so fed up with shit that I went out and committed to getting better at it. Of course I had teachers and naturals who taught me, but it was just me throwing shit at the wall anyway to see what stuck. Now it is my guess that this is what needs to work in business as well. Again, I am not all the way there business wise so these are just my ideas.

                          But at a night club, you believe you are the best possible option for a girl to choose. You go about that with your actions, some choose you back, and you hook up with a ton and it is all because you made the decision to go after what you wanted and you just went. Yeah maybe you didn't know how to kiss a girl, and you touched her like you were a virgin, but going for the girl despite not knowing what to do is always more effective.

                          This is something I am still working on with business as I will have to make it in online businesses.

                          As I pointed out in the beginning of this post, how I perceive the world, as a really huge network of what I call "relative masters", is very different from how most people perceive the world, which is very hierarchical.


                          You can deny the game for what it is and whatever truth you seek, however you will run into what it is. As PE said, better to be the one making the choices than someone else, Robert Greene also:

                          If the world is like a giant scheming court and we are trapped inside it, there is no use in trying to opt out of the game. That will only render you powerless, and powerlessness will make you miserable. Instead of struggling against the inevitable, instead of arguing and whining and feeling guilty, it is far better to excel at power.
                          -48 Laws of Power Robert Greene
                          I seriously don't care much about you calling me beta or alpha or omega or whatever for I suppose being proud of being called "alpha" is pretty much the same as being proud to call yourself a muslim or a christian.


                          There's just different levels to it. The headmaster of a school is more alpha than the teacher. The CEO of the company is more alpha than the director of a department. Donald Trump is more alpha than a senator. What we are talking about here is just power. And behind all this power is only decisions. However, it is my belief that these decisions come from a mindset: "It's better that I am in charge and I am leading these people than someone else."

                          I'm quite an amazing teacher and I seem to be quite good at leading other people to become great teachers too, but I have little to no practical experience in how to run my own business in a sustainable way yet.


                          I believe you. And as such it is your responsibility as a man to figure out how you can lead as many people as possible. Note that this isn't about just your tribe, it is your primal destiny to fulfill whatever this mission is to the best of your capability. It's biology for you to lead your people as only you can. Man can't escape this and the ones who fold and go beta on this mission live in misery.

                          If you have any great ideas about how to create a financially sustainable way of teaching outside of the school system, please let me know.


                          This is your task and your challenge and mission. You identified how you want to lead your tribe. In your mind you know what is best for them and where you want them to go with you. Now you got to figure out how to lead them.

                          Note that even though you don't have the business things you want figured out here, you do have a lot of it figured out. As another example, Donald Trump is leading America as he is. He knows in his mind what is best for his tribe, where he wants them to go, and while these things might not be agreeable and others are having a hard time, it doesn't matter because he is certain and convicted in where he wants to go and he leads as he does.

                          P.S. Our educational system is fucked just as well.


                          -Supernova

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Originally posted by Supernova View Post
                            English or spanish, dutch or german, the message and point of this communication is that you have resigned yourself to someone else having power over you. You could call it boss or slave master, doesn't really matter, and it doesn't have to be bad, but the point of the matter is that this is a choice that you have made. And in context of this conversation, this choice is rarely made the same by the people we are talking about here (call them the alphas for simplicity).
                            If I truly had resigned myself to someone else having power over me, we wouldn't have this conversation for I wouldn't even question if that is the way it should be. Truth of the matter is, I come from a family background of employees who are used to be told what to do, and I started out from a place of subordinate habits and little to no money. I can tell myself that rich people think differently and all that, but I think it isn't an idea too bad to accept where you come from and discard all the illusions about where you are right now, so you can better judge on what to do to get to someplace different. Yes, I am still somewhat dependent on someone else to accept me as an employee so as to secure me my monthly income from a money perspective. But I've at least shed the idea that this might be the only place that takes me in for money. At the moment it feels more like I'm offering my services to this institution for a certain time. Officially I'm an employee there (which also has its benefits in terms of income and insurance stuff in my country), but for the first time I'm starting to feel more like a leader work-wise since I can pretty much decide on my own what's best for that institution. And I've come to realize I probably won't stick with that institution forever, I'll gradually be becoming more and more self-employed in terms of mindset and actual work. It's a slow process, granted, but putting into account where I come from I've already gotten quite far.

                            Originally posted by Supernova View Post
                            I've been exactly here as well. I tried getting a business mentor, learning shit and baby-stepping and it flopped. I'm at a new point of just going and doing. Not all the way through it so I can't say for sure, but what I wonder is how you went to get good with girls?

                            I know for me, I read the game and thought about shit. Then, one day I just got so fed up with shit that I went out and committed to getting better at it. Of course I had teachers and naturals who taught me, but it was just me throwing shit at the wall anyway to see what stuck. Now it is my guess that this is what needs to work in business as well. Again, I am not all the way there business wise so these are just my ideas.

                            But at a night club, you believe you are the best possible option for a girl to choose. You go about that with your actions, some choose you back, and you hook up with a ton and it is all because you made the decision to go after what you wanted and you just went. Yeah maybe you didn't know how to kiss a girl, and you touched her like you were a virgin, but going for the girl despite not knowing what to do is always more effective.

                            This is something I am still working on with business as I will have to make it in online businesses.
                            My approach to women is somewhat different from most other people here as well. It's a very slow, babystep one, but very sustainable. I did have to crash and burn quite a few times before I realized all my weird conditionings, but at least the women I met in recent years I'm all still very close with. I managed to let go of the idea that I'd have to be the best guy for every woman and realized I could trust my gut feeling on which women I'd be very much into and which componany I would enjoy. The result is a relationship model that's (so far) sustainable, allows me to love, cuddle and have sex with multiple women (although it's not necessary) plus having my main gf who is massively in love with me and I with her. I got to that point by experimenting and figuring out why and how I would react certain ways to the behaviours of these women and why they behaved the way they did. Quite a few times, they would cut contact (or I would) because realizations seemed to hard to bear, but after a while we'll usually re-engage anyway because we love and trust another. Not sure if I can easily translate this to business

                            Originally posted by Supernova View Post
                            You can deny the game for what it is and whatever truth you seek, however you will run into what it is. As PE said, better to be the one making the choices than someone else, Robert Greene also:
                            ...
                            [/COLOR]


                            If there's a game everyone is playing, I'd also aim to win probably (I'm really enthusiastic when playing games, especially strategy ones). But when people play a game nobody even likes playing, I usually rather suggest another game that's more fun to everyone. Like, change the rules. I realize this is hard to do or even impossible in the great scheme of things (like, world-wide finance), but it's very possible considering smaller units. It's what I do in terms of relationships, and I wonder if the same could be applied to money issues.

                            Originally posted by Supernova View Post
                            There's just different levels to it. The headmaster of a school is more alpha than the teacher. The CEO of the company is more alpha than the director of a department. Donald Trump is more alpha than a senator. What we are talking about here is just power. And behind all this power is only decisions. However, it is my belief that these decisions come from a mindset: "It's better that I am in charge and I am leading these people than someone else."


                            The headmasters of the three public schools I was working in were very un-alpha. They sat in formal positions of power, of "alpha-ness" if you will, yes, but they were too scared to use it constructively. Yes, they somehow managed to kick me out, but from what other people I trust told me (and what they themselves said) it "wasn't their idea". They basically sat in positions of power and wielded the power officially, but other people "below" them used them for their own schemes.

                            My goal isn't to be able to command others. It's to be able to command myself without someone on the outside being able to force me to go against what I think is right. At my current job I'm pretty much there since I can basically decide how I run this institution and my "superior" is very open to my suggestions on how to improve it.

                            Originally posted by Supernova View Post
                            I believe you. And as such it is your responsibility as a man to figure out how you can lead as many people as possible. Note that this isn't about just your tribe, it is your primal destiny to fulfill whatever this mission is to the best of your capability. It's biology for you to lead your people as only you can. Man can't escape this and the ones who fold and go beta on this mission live in misery.
                            I'm on it.

                            Originally posted by Supernova View Post
                            Originally posted by Supernova View Post
                            This is your task and your challenge and mission. You identified how you want to lead your tribe. In your mind you know what is best for them and where you want them to go with you. Now you got to figure out how to lead them.

                            Note that even though you don't have the business things you want figured out here, you do have a lot of it figured out. As another example, Donald Trump is leading America as he is. He knows in his mind what is best for his tribe, where he wants them to go, and while these things might not be agreeable and others are having a hard time, it doesn't matter because he is certain and convicted in where he wants to go and he leads as he does.

                            P.S. Our educational system is fucked just as well.


                            Yeah I've figured quite a lot out actually, but I still find myself struggling with certain issues. It's very probable that there aren't that many outside hurdles anymore to "getting there" where I need to be, but on the inside I still have certain believe systems that are hard to get rid of next to certain fluffy areas I fail to have a satisfying concept of yet. I'll try to list a few:

                            - An actual business model: I run two blogs, one for 4 years, one for 3 years now, and it has an audience from all over the world (which is funny because I write in German there), but it's been mostly run as a hobby and in a sub-professional way. All the content there is free at the moment, and although it's quite a lot and thus a little hard to find because there's so much there, the content and the ideas presented there over the years are very valuable to the right people. Some of it is taken from other sources, but most of it is genuine new stuff I invented and tested over the years, some of it being quite revolutionary I guess. I never really figured out how to translate all this into a business model though. I've been thinking about creating certain information products like books, speeches or workshops and sell those and apart from that offer certain services like solving individual problems or supporting change processes in institutions over a limited time.

                            - One "hurdle" I'm trying to overcome is that I have a bad habit of not caring too much about aesthetics. I am really good at systemic thinking, transcending systems and storytelling, but if you look at my blogs, aesthetically they look like shit. Funny thing is I'm not even bad at artistry, it's just that usually when I finish the systemic thing I don't care enough to make it look pleasing to the eye as well. I've been thinking about partnering with some artist for that, but I a) haven't met someone fitting yet and b) I'd lack the money to pay one.

                            - Pricing: Putting a price tag on what you offer is something I'm struggling with too (and I guess that's what holds most people back in the first place). I've done the systemic approach and calculated what I need with all the taxes and insurance and everything, but although it helped I'm still nowhere from the clarity I wanted. One mind puzzle for me is that a lot of what I do is very counter-intuitive and hard to track and thus value, like much of my teaching is based on doingn without doing. The results are quite extraordinary, but an outside observer would often see me do nothing, so charging for certain hours kind of seems difficult. If I was charging for results, though, most of what I do aims to work long-term and sustainable and it's somewhat hard to predict how long it's gonna take (although judging from experience usually at the 2-month-mark or earlier I see drastic changes).

                            - potential customers: If I would aim for teachers in the school system, schools usually have no budget for what I would offer, and they usually try to not pay anything using their own money. So I'd have a lot of likely customers who could profit but few of them would want to pay with their own money. I've been thinking about going for students of teacher's university for usually when I talk with them they are very interested about what I have to say, but they usually have no money. I'd want customers who can use what I offer AND who have a lot of money.

                            The last few days I've been re-thinking a lot of this stuff again which usually happens in surges for me, I just fill myself with loads of information for a while (like, a few weeks) and then when I'm "full", my mind "digests" all the stuff and kind of creates an inside system that I can experiment with. The current "surge" seems to be about transforming my two blogs into something that's a) more pleasing to look at and b) also an experimental business model. I've been thinking so hard on how to create a good business model for all that stuff that I forgot how I usually work these things out, namely going from no business model at all to a running prototype, allowing myself to suck along the way until I get it right. I got one day a week I'm not working at the institution I'm working on, so I can create a business model that works with that and expand it later if needed.

                            It's funny because I can pretty much observe my own "stages of digestion" by how I talk with other people about this stuff. I usually get quite secretive while I process new information until I "come back from the desert" with new realizations on what best to do next. Probably one of the next steps is to finally get myself my own webspace and domain and professionalize what I already created over the last few years.

                            Jester
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                            • #29
                              Hmm, I might have a unique outlook on this

                              Usually its about becoming number one in what you do right?
                              And in order to do this, everyone has this mindset that they deserve it more than another guy, right?

                              Well,
                              What if you take a step back, and see it as not about winning in ONE particular way
                              But applying your best pressure, so that you will succeed, eventually
                              But this requires efficiency and optimisation in all areas you apply effort

                              The question then is not about who deserves what, but a matter of ADMITTING you can't fully control the outcome by mental adjustment


                              Because, in my life, I've learnt that NO ONE controls things anywhere near as much as they think they do
                              IF you believe too gulliblly that "right effort" leads to equivalent reward, it won't REPEATEDLY pan out

                              But what WILL pan out is pressure, widened scope and adapting to the times


                              Efficieny leads to a broader scope, and if you apply pressure over a broader scope you will find an opportunity, just maybe not the one you expected

                              If you are too foocused on one thing, planning, doubting, changing how much you put into it, you wind up minimising the pressure



                              My point is, I can't believe a change in mindset TRULY will ever be the sole source of success, EVER
                              I think its... just... blessed thinking...

                              And I think the reason we all try to think that way, is so that when opportunity comes we think it is SPECIAL and MADE FOR US
                              Because we know we need to be tricked into believing this so we don't reject it


                              I dunno,
                              I've rejected a lot of opportunities
                              And all I can really say is...
                              If we were all as arrogant as I was and can be, I think we'd give up our opportunities
                              So, I'd say,
                              It doesn't really matter what opportunity breaks open for you, I doubt it has any particular meaning
                              The reason you take the opportunity isn't cuz you deserve it, but out of the humility of realising you might not always wind up with the joyous perfect fit

                              Sometimes you stomach opportunities


                              And if your ONLY view, is a story you told yourself, of being in the rright place, at the right time, with the right attitude
                              I think it misses the larger picture

                              Because CONTROL is only observed in hindsight. If you were actually capable f cntrolling your success, you would be able to apply yourself to many other things and succeed just as well.
                              THIS IS NOT THE CASE FOR THE VAST MAJORITY OF PEOPLE
                              Repeating success is like catching lightning in a bottle, it happens, but more often it doesn't

                              Like Michael Jordan was awesome in basketball, but in baseball, or golf its not the same.
                              Point being you cant always control it.


                              Broad pressure at high efficiency and the guts to adapt, seems to me to be more strategically sound


                              Again this isn't a refutation
                              Because I think applying high pressure, efficiently, in all areas requires a consistent outlook/attitude
                              But if that outlook leads to you YOYOing and getting overly specific in your demands, that isn't good
                              Don't yoyo on one specific thing, show broad strength across all you can, and be ready to take advantage of a good opportunity rather than scoff, act tough, and pretend you can CONTROL success

                              No one controls it...
                              The worlds tendency towards chaos, is quite strong
                              Mentalities alone dont conquer it
                              They are just part of how we react to it, how we deal with its uncertainty
                              And it can be easy to trick yourself

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by thecostofsuccess View Post
                                Hmm, I might have a unique outlook on this

                                Usually its about becoming number one in what you do right?
                                And in order to do this, everyone has this mindset that they deserve it more than another guy, right?

                                Well,
                                What if you take a step back, and see it as not about winning in ONE particular way
                                But applying your best pressure, so that you will succeed, eventually
                                But this requires efficiency and optimisation in all areas you apply effort

                                The question then is not about who deserves what, but a matter of ADMITTING you can't fully control the outcome by mental adjustmentf
                                This isn't about being #1 or about outcome control. Its about adopting a true red pill alpha mentality, so that you can live your life exactly as you choose in a community setting among the people you choose, from the top dog position within that group where everyone respects you as the final arbiter of decision making. This is opposed to other models presented on this forum that focus on withdrawal and escape and self-sufficiency top-to-bottom, which is a sigma approach to life. Instead, this is a true-alpha mindset that leads to building and leading a happy, positive, productive culture, full of people working together for a larger common goal, with your leadership based on positive earned respect. Yes this definitely involves a firm understanding of how power works from an "eyes wide open" place (and yes, reality is dark, which is why the betas hide from it with their various myths and distractions and let the alpha be the one to look cold hard reality in the face), but the whole point of power is to set something up great for yourself and those that are with you.

                                My own groups are all small right now, and I'm still a looooong shot from the #1 position in my industry (and may never get there), and I don't have control over the outcome, only the content creation and production, which is always a dice roll as far as real-world outcome. But I'm in the top dog position of my own groups because I've earned the respect of others (by way of making money and accomplishing a long list of non-monetary quantifiable measures of success in my field) who willingly and happily (because most everyone's a beta attracted to true alpha) come take their role under my leadership. And we all have fun working towards our larger goals, because that's culture I've chosen to create for myself and my team

                                Originally posted by thecostofsuccess View Post
                                Mentalities alone dont conquer it
                                They are just part of how we react to it, how we deal with its uncertainty
                                And it can be easy to trick yourself
                                I'm not tricking myself, I live this every day. Agreed to achieve this is about the correct action along with the mentality.

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