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40 Hour workers, How do you organize yourself?

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  • #16
    Well I think it should be in balance. Sometimes you follow your purpose and sometimes you let people led, depending on situation and values

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    • #17
      However I still have mission to collect data on how people spend their free time. Would be really nice if as much people as possible participate and write about their evenings.

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      • #18
        Energy plays a big role. If you sleep and eat poorly and have a job that drains you of energy you are probably going to find it hard to do non-lazy activities after work.

        I try to do less and less stuff nowadays. Which means that the stuff I do become of higher quality and I become more mindful about them.

        Listing stuff you do is problematic though. For example, cooking can mean a large variety of different things. It can be a necessary evil when your thoughts are somewhere else, or it can be a near religious experience if you allow your focus to dive deep into the cooking. Do you cook with passion? Do you smell the steam, ponder on it and savor it? Do appretiate the beauty in a well composed recipe?

        I feel like we loose something important when we try to cram too much into our schedule.

        "Beware the barrenness of a busy life"
        -Socrates

        I do however like things where you can hit several flies in one hit. Socializing with friends can pretty easily be combined with other activities such as exercising, running errands, eating, and so on.

        Originally posted by Supernova View Post
        If they asked me to help move, I would probably suggest they hire a moving company. My reality is just bigger than anything else going on, it's about focus.
        I would likely accept, especially if the person is someone I would like to form a true friendship with. You could look at it this way: You get some physical exercise, you get to deepen your relationship, you get to practice your social skills, you get increased self-esteem (assuming you weren't postponing saving starving children). And when you are in need of help you may have someone loyal you can call. (Everything must be within reason though.)

        I get what you are saying though, but unless you have some flexibility and adaptability, don't you think you will prevent all possible deep relationships to form? I would assume that all your relationships are shallow, both friends and sexual partners?

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        • #19
          Originally posted by Beckstar101 View Post
          Well I think it should be in balance. Sometimes you follow your purpose and sometimes you let people led, depending on situation and values
          Nope. People suck at leading. For me, I trust myself much more as a leader. In addition, I am out for my best good, not always is everyone else as well. There are very rare cases where it's important for me to let others lead. In fact, I can't think of many.

          I would likely accept, especially if the person is someone I would like to form a true friendship with
          Friendship, just like any relationship is a value exchange.

          For some, they get value from their friends by helping them move. One friend gets the help and the other friend gets to feel good about helping and even a possible future benefit of having that friend for them when they have to move.

          You could look at it this way: You get some physical exercise, you get to deepen your relationship, you get to practice your social skills, you get increased self-esteem (assuming you weren't postponing saving starving children).
          This is really a low-level of playing if you are helping your friends move for all of these reasons. "The value I get in return for having this friend and helping him move is physical exercise, a better relationship with him, better social skills and increased self-esteem."

          I disagree with none of these as potential benefits however if you don't have anything more important to you than getting these values met by helping your friend move, then you need to find something more worthwhile to participate in life. For me, this is the difference between the man sitting at home on Sunday with nothing to do but watch the baseball game and the man who is traveling the world, making a difference, and probably even saving those starving children as you mentioned.

          I get what you are saying though, but unless you have some flexibility and adaptability, don't you think you will prevent all possible deep relationships to form?
          More so higher standards for friendships you entertain. This has prevented me personally from connecting with 21 year old girls on snapchat, but I have deeper relationships with my family and friends more so than before. My grandparents want to talk about sports and have a hard time relating to my purpose, but this is the kind of adaptability I can have, does it go deeper? Not really.

          I would assume that all your relationships are shallow, both friends and sexual partners?
          Actually the opposite.

          A group of guys I used to sarge with, we all still remain close friends and I saw them last week and we got into the deep discussions about pick up. We see each other less and they know I got tons of things going on, so the time is more focused and scarce allowing the time for connection to be more valuable.

          A group of friends from high school, I don't really talk to at all, unless it is through facebook chat, but this is definitely what is best. They have their wives and live their normal lives with day jobs and such and our lives are so unrelatable. Their families and the choices that they made to make them who they are mean everything to them. Seeing the life I am living isn't always something they can be a part of because it would mean analyzing their choices and it's not something they want to find themselves wrong in (even though my old best friend told me he was soo close to cheating on his wife time and time again).

          My new friends are entrepreneurs who travel the world. We speak to each other even less regularly, but when we do we do for a purpose. Usually these conversations are meaningful and deep.

          My last significant relationship was with a girl who wasn't necessarily on board with my purpose, in actuality it wasn't that she wasn't on board, more so that she just didn't understand it all. She liked her instagram and stuff, and that was great. The flexibility here was letting her do her own thing and I did mine. When we came together it was kind of like I took a break from the rest of the world, but it wasn't at a sacrifice of deepness. She would talk about the things that were important to her and I would listen to her. She felt close and connected with me and I her. If she ever did ask what I was up to I would tell her, but it wasn't something that was the greatest source of connection, but it didn't need to be.

          The value I got from her was sex and connection, among other things. She got listening and accepting from me, then some other things like sex and connection. But the point is, I didn't have to sacrifice my mission or anything that was more important for me to get those things. For some, they waste a Saturday with their girlfriends and her group of their friends for what? To have a happy girlfriend that gives them sex and connection (or maybe a few other things). For me, wasting a Saturday night isn't worth this.

          The key is that if you can provide the value that someone else wants, then you can ask whatever value that you want from them.

          But to answer your question, I would say that very few are shallow. Somewhat distant and infrequent yes, but I like it this way. I don't have a friend I have a beer with every week and talk about life, but I don't want one like this.



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          • #20
            60-80 hours working as employee? For shure.... The company thanks you with a handshake. never..
            - I want to see you working 10 hours 6 from monday to friday and then going clubbing every night...

            Can you give me an example schedule of yourself from monday - friday?

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            • #21
              Supernova I forgot to mention that I would help assuming that I do not have anything more important to do. After work I always have a few hours to myself that I usually spend on organizing things, excercising, reading, hobbies, self-help, etc. All very flexible things so that I easily can make time for things like helping out a friend in need, go on a date, etc. Maybe this means that I should step up my game and get more into philantropy... but at the moment I feel like 40 hours per week is enough. If I do more I will be constantly knackered and in a bad mood.

              When it comes to friends I have standards. They must either be funny, have interesting things to say (so that I feel like I am growing by spending time with them) or exude pleasent feminine energy. Basically, just hanging out with them and talking should be a very nice experience. I have no time for boring people.

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              • #22
                Supernova I forgot to mention that I would help assuming that I do not have anything more important to do.
                I would tan all day in the sun if I had nothing better to do. For me, it would be a problem in my life if I was always spending my time with these things.
                Maybe this means that I should step up my game and get more into philantropy...
                Whatever suits you. I've given homeless people and children food from all over world, donating my time and money, and it has been one of the most rewarding things.
                When it comes to friends I have standards. They must either be funny, have interesting things to say (so that I feel like I am growing by spending time with them) or exude pleasent feminine energy. Basically, just hanging out with them and talking should be a very nice experience. I have no time for boring people.
                Everyone has some standards and there's always levels to it. Losers like hanging out with losers and they don't think about it. Most people just float by in life and find who they find and spend their time based on what others ask of them. The only point to take away from my post is decide your life and don't let others do it for you.

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