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  • "Psychosocial Stress"

    Another take/perspective on the whole "What is confidence?" / "What is inner game?" debate.

    https://www.verywell.com/what-is-psy...stress-3145133

  • #2
    Could you extract some excerpts and put a few comments on them? Just so people can access what you are talking about a lil easier. Ha including me. I hate clicking external links.

    psychosocial stress results when we look at a perceived social threat in our lives (real or even imagined) and discern that it may require resources we don't have
    Then it goes on to describe a pragmatic response to reducing stresses
    conflict resolution skills
    supportive friends, avoid drama
    shift your perspective "Sometimes we feel angered or threatened by things that don't affect us that much, and the stress we feel as a result isn't necessary"
    find stress management that works for you

    Which is doing what you can to reduce the perception you don't have the resources to deal with the situation and coming to believe you do have the resources and will be fine

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    • #3
      Yeah my bad, sorry for the lacking description. The quote you picked is same I would pick. Thanks

      It was the name that caught my eye, actually. It was a bit refreshing, since I never thought about it exactly like that before.

      Yes the article was basic to say the least. I guess I just linked it to illustrate that its pretty much the same thing they are talking about.


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      • #4
        Is a debate on the meaning of confidence and inner game actually taking place anywhere, other than you starting redefinition threads?

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        • #5
          Originally posted by pureevil View Post
          Is a debate on the meaning of confidence and inner game actually taking place anywhere, other than you starting redefinition threads?
          Yeah I had the same question lol.

          Also I think it's pretty interesting how the "inner game champions" who try to bring inner-game / confidence into the discussion all the time, usually have little to say when it comes to practical applications of PU (or even practical applications of inner game.)

          Such posters tend to avoid discussions centered getting laid from cold approach as well. This could just be my (biased) POV though.

          --

          That being said, the topic worth discussing. Stress is an issue that can fuck with your state, the baseline one you have or even your infield state / projected vibe.

          Though, if stress is a chronic issue, then I'd recommend TRE which does remove accumulated stress (field tested) as well as meditation. However stress or "psychocosocial" stress, has LITTLE to do with inner game / confidence. Doesn't matter how much of a confident pimp you may be, you can still get stressed lol.

          I seriously don't know what the point of tying everything back to inner game, or even attempting to start a debate on that topic is.
          “You know I cant hear none of that spend the night shit... that kumbaya shit”

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          • #6
            you need both outer/inner game, the importance of inner game can not be discounted (though i am more of the outer camp):

            1.- inner game can affect your outer game with the Ras (what you focus on)

            2.- self image (i am too old, or too short, or not rich), if that is in your head can affect your outergame

            3.- Self talk (for example after rejections or something she said etc...)


            though if you have good outer game or not even good, just good results/feedback.. .a lot of inner game will take care of itself...
            Sexting, my unique natural game, aggressive dance floor seductions, 15-20 minutes hook ups in clubs. Learn the proper way to maximize your results in a club type environment, check out my blog and youtube clubbing channel:

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            • #7
              Cool! Ill try to 'shake the stress' sometime!
              I know a girl who does that a lot (she has a move-breath-thing she does)

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              • #8
                Personally I think the stress reduction and technical improvement occurs in parallel, and when combined lead to growth

                So for example in chess you can both loosen up your competitive approach and be less antsy, but you can also simply practice lines enough times that you don't get caught in awkward positions
                The more you loosen up and play more solid positions, the less stress you have, and with further growth, the stress reduces even a little bit more

                In martial arts, holes in your form create stress every time they are hit or poked at, you need to cover enough bases and improve your defense, ability to see things coming and rhythm in order to reduce those holes. Once the holes aren't too big, you will feel a lot less stress, but it isn't until you go out there and be aggressive yourself that you realise just how good that defense is and start to feel good about it and come into a good groove.

                Same with writing, if you write rambling prose you will get very stressed, so you have to start closing the loops on things you say, and follow inferences with examples and explainations so that your meaning is assuredly coming across, then once its coming across you won't have to rewrite or stress. But at the same time you want to work on your fears so you don't become a rigid writer or fall into the trap of trying to copy another persons style in order to avoid stress.

                With seduction, your main concerns are state crashes, not connecting with people at all, and feeling out of the loop in a place. So you make sure to get rid of any random insecurities about the place or the people, you work on having the right connection with people by mixing in and getting the right vibe, and you avoid state crashes by not sticking or getting static and dragged into or underneath someones influence. Once you do those things you also on top of that loosen up, with your own routine things to do, favorite places etc, and develop a good stride. Growth on top of that then adds even more resilience to stresses.

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                • ijjjji

                  ijjjji

                  commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Wow Cosy those examples resonate a lot! I think it has a similarity to 'being organized', and when you feel like that, you are more immune to the little things. (Similar to what Skills mean when he says that having outer game will fix inner game, I guess!)

                  I remember an interview with a chess coach where he said that high level physical regime seemed to have a distinct positive effect on the results of young chess players. Maybe physical activity can play a role similar to TRE mentioned above? (Chess always turned me personally into a bundle of tension..)

              • #9
                i think the supportive friends one is more important reduction point instead of less important and just something about how you deal with stress.

                considering I realized I had been stressing about stupid stuff with the "friends" I had gotten last year at uni. I mean.. i met them last year through the studentorganisation, but instead of them being supportive of me I found every interaction with them or perceived future interaction started to drain me because we just didnt go well together. I mean they are nice but it costs a shitload of stress to interact with them for me.

                then my new friends this year which we chose ourselves and are feeling safe/good with in opposition are less.. draining. I feel GOOD not like I need to proof or defend myself every second which gives energy instead of reducing it. So think thats meant with the friends point.
                https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIb6AZdTr-A

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                • ijjjji

                  ijjjji

                  commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Interesting. I always liked more to get challenge from friends. Eg. if I liked girl X, and I find out my friend Y gets jealous/spiteful when I talk to her, Im like "yay bring on the battle for girl X". Probably varies with personality type though.

              • #10
                Originally posted by Kit View Post
                i think the supportive friends one is more important reduction point instead of less important and just something about how you deal with stress.

                considering I realized I had been stressing about stupid stuff with the "friends" I had gotten last year at uni. I mean.. i met them last year through the studentorganisation, but instead of them being supportive of me I found every interaction with them or perceived future interaction started to drain me because we just didnt go well together. I mean they are nice but it costs a shitload of stress to interact with them for me.

                then my new friends this year which we chose ourselves and are feeling safe/good with in opposition are less.. draining. I feel GOOD not like I need to proof or defend myself every second which gives energy instead of reducing it. So think thats meant with the friends point.
                I've been thinking about something similar a lot these days. I've noticed that I've become pretty good at dealing with bad stuff on my own, but whenever the shit really hits the fan I usually cut contact with most of the people I usually hang out with and resolve the issue before I get back with them. This way, I've become very strong individually, but I've never really mastered the art of creating and using a body of more than one human being to be more powerful to deal with stuff. Throughout most of my life, I would have my friends back if they needed me, but would never truly trust them to repay the favor. It's not that they wouldn't I think, it's simply that when it was really important I wouldn't trust them enough to try. This of course can be traced back to some of my personal history and family trauma, as is probably common, but also to some basic character traits of mine I suppose. Thing is you can only achieve so much by yourself, even if you're the most brilliant and competent human being in history.

                It's funny: a few days ago I had an important discussion with my current boss and noticed how for the first time in years, I didn't consider giving up this job a failure on my part anymore. I'm pretty good at it, but it was never 100% my thing to begin with, and I was planning to do something else in about a year anyway. So I managed to stay quite relaxed even when she told me she would have to announce for someone replacing me just in case. Since we get along very well on a personal level, I could see she was relieved I took her criticism so well. Discussions like these would have stressed me out to the point of fearing physical annihilation a few years back (which again has to do with my personal family history), but it seems people do indeed outgrow their issues if they work on them long enough. So perhaps going through what you fear most a few times also helps coping with what you fear.

                I also loved cosy's examples! Keep the good posts coming man

                Jester
                Bunterrichten - Alternativen zum Unter-richten:

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                • #11
                  yeah well in some situations its indeed about the fear you have in yourself

                  but i found perhaps it is also founded in their own fears.
                  i mean.. i have tons of friends with whom i feel relaxed and would actually trust on the level you mentioned. A few of them have actually been there for me at exactly the moment I needed them.. really insane. I didnt know at first they would be there for me at those points. But they were.

                  The socalled nonfriends but still friends I am talking about.. they are like a wildcard. They seem to be there sometimes, but you can expect them to possibly say no whenever they feel it costs them energy or anything that may be unpleasant. it may be their age.. or the way they move through life. Its different than mine for sure. Maybe its a generationgap difference (they are 4-5y younger)
                  But this year i realised its in part their own insecurity. It must be because if they were secure they wouldnt have issues with it... right?

                  And i am not the flattering, take it easy kind of person anymore.
                  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIb6AZdTr-A

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