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What is the hardest thing you have ever overcome psychologically?

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  • What is the hardest thing you have ever overcome psychologically?

    As the post says.

    Let us go REAL DEEP here.

    Overcome is the keyword.

    I don't care about your fuckin weight loss, you got a better job or passed your college test. General life tasks.

    I am talking the worst thing that ever happened to you non "first world problems". The hardest thing you ever went to a psychological place of misery and then figured out.

    I am talking....

    What is the thing you owned and made your life better psychologically speaking?

    Story time......

    Brag yourself up and the thoughts that worked for you to be a badass in that situation. Most important in this challenge is the psychology behind it, how you were thinking, when you "made it happen"?



    Gun


    How I cold approach pickup women.

  • #2
    Usually break ups.. That is the hardest....

    Overcame:

    spamming seducers for advice even lover girl ( i think i drove the thin man away)

    a lot of reading and youtube on the subject. (tyler having gone through it a bit before my break up helped a lot, plus identical issue)

    Getting other women.

    working on myself

    Comment


    • #3
      You know mine already Gun. When I was a 12 year old kid my folks exiled me to a boarding school in some desolate third world town as a form of punishment. . .

      Came with a lot of psychological / physical forms of suffering (feelings of betrayal. . . imagine getting dumped by your parents as a child, then stack a loss of privileges, isolation, corporal punishment, fights with peers and older kids, and one brush with mortality on top of all that) There was a reason all the kids at school called that place a prison.

      I know people who'd have been mentally or physically broken, or both if they experienced what I experienced at the start of my formative years. But it didn't break me. I made the best of a shitty situation, changed the way I thought about myself and life as a whole.

      I ended up realizing some things I'm glad I figured out back then, instead of now as a 19 year old or later on as a fully developed adult.

      The first thing was you can be alone, without feeling lonely. Loneliness is simply a state of mind, and as a result you can overcome such a state mentally. I overcame that state back then and even found ways to enjoy myself at the boarding school despite the fact that I was in the worst environment I'd ever been in.

      The second lesson, which I ties into the first is that I am the only person I can truly rely on for anything. So independence is not only important but necessary for growth.

      The third thing had to do with my ceasing to seek the approval of my parents or institutions, instead focusing on doing the things I wanted to do and pursuing excellence in subjects I deemed worthy. That last lesson was the foundation for me starting my journey as a seducer three years later.

      Comment


      • #4
        My mom made me split my candy bar with my sister once. It wasn't even king size. The trauma forced me to become a man that day. . .

        Comment


        • #5
          1) overcoming post finasteride syndrome (still recovering from this)

          2) 7.5 grams of magic mushrooms

          3) overcoming crippling anxiety / getting good with women

          Comment


          • #6
            Two issues come to mind:

            - When I was about 18, my mother died from cancer, and my family pretty much fell apart in the aftermath, with a lot of infighting. About a year later, I developed insane stomachache that wouldn't go away for like half a year, but no doctor found any logical cause for it. In the summer after, my father invited me back home to spend a few weeks there, and I was happy to see my sister more often again (I was living in some dorm by the time). It enabled me to relax a bit and get rid of my stomach problems (which were probably caused psychologically, although I had no idea this was even possible back then).

            Until my father would one day return home from work, freak out and throw me out for good for no apparent reason. It had happened before with my older brother and would happen later on with my younger sister as soon as she was 18, but I took that very personally at first. At that time I had (in my perspective, which was slightly flawed) no family to depend on, no money, nothing and imagined myself living on the streets in a few months.

            I then talked to the boss of the dorm I was living in at the moment, and he very kindly gave me a stipend which would allow me to not pay rent for two months. In those two months, I found myself a job doing private teaching (after another job which was a fail), and this got me through the rest of my studies. Figured I'd not need my family for backup after all and I could survive on my own.

            - When I finally got my first job as a "real" teacher (after working at several alternative schools) I was very excited to prove how the way I'm teaching reaps amazing results. So I was shocked to find out how in the first school I would basically get fired for doing good work and not caring about politics that much. Figured this was an exception, and at the next school this wouldn't happen, but there even the headmaster and the district inspector would openly lie to get rid of me.

            So I thought next time I would create a system that would very clearly prove how my system was working well. Got myself thrown out in about 2-3 months again exactly because I could prove how my system was way superior, and from what people told me afterwards one of my colleagues was super-envious about it and forced the headmaster to act to throw me out.

            I was very upset because it made me doubt whether schools are actually there to teach kids well, but it was a good thing too because I realized how at least in my country, that's not really what they are for although nobody talks about it. They are here to distribute roles to people, and teaching them part of what they need to know to fulfill those roles is only a bonus. Since actual teaching and creating systems that support teaching IS my passion, it made me realize how my place is not in the regular school system, and that I'd have to create my own vehicle to do what I love to do. Which is what I'm currently at

            Jester

            Comment


            • #7
              Ok, so, deep...

              What if the hardest thing you ever went through wasn't because someone else made you do it
              What if on your own initiative and integrity you pushed yourself and made choices no one else could make
              Over and over again
              And didn't complain or start losing your mind at people who do "less" (thats the real trick)

              I think that is the hardest thing

              For example, given a candy bar you stop and give half to your sister ALL ON YOUR OWN even though it isn't king size
              It takes a huge amount of effort to GET AHEAD of your own desire for "the easy path" and to think ahead far enough that you don't need to be asked
              And then get so far ahead that you don't even give a shit about candy bars and just get how shit works, so give it out of generosity and general comradery

              Most people live by bouncing off shit they don't like, but you can get further by GETTING AHEAD of things others see as bullshit, and altering how it goes down
              But after that, you gotta blow off steam and have fun, not take shit too seriously :P
              That is key, otherwise you are just a dull work-horse sorta dude


              Anyways,
              I think guys love talking about themselves when they don't know sacrifice that well
              Personally, the more you sacrifice the more you don't need to talk about it
              Like, I just plain don't give a shit about any of my own "hard" stories

              I love my stories, good n bad, definately done enough complaining about them previously to never ever complain on it again.
              And I know others have got plenty of shit they are going through
              I couldn't give two shits about wasting time dwelling on shit I'm over, lol


              I liked bachus' story, was cool
              Sounds pretty badass, like some batman begins shit



              Btw, bruce really only hurt one guy there by breaking his knee
              All the other guys are babies and got hit once
              One dude wasn't even hit, just dragged a few feet and he's all on the ground playing dead
              wth people!

              Comment


              • #8
                Chemical inbalance leading to severe mental depression
                ​​​​​​
                How i got out was setting a lifegoal. Not a lifegoal like "I need to have achieved" but a lifegoal as in: I will spend whatever moment I can make myself trying to achieve this. Regardless of whether I believe I can/will achieve it or not. You cant force an outcome, you can force yourself to work towards it however.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by thecostofsuccess View Post
                  I couldn't give two shits about wasting time dwelling on shit I'm over, lol
                  That was my point lol. I hate this shit. Def never talk this stuff with a girl. Dodge with humor and retake the frame.

                  Comment


                  • thecostofsuccess

                    thecostofsuccess

                    commented
                    Editing a comment
                    One thing I like to do these days is look at sed like boxing
                    Jab jab move
                    Float like a butterfly sting like a bee
                    :P

                    No getting into a big slugfest unless you gotta

                    I swear some guys are like "yo girl hit me" and stick their chin out
                    Then swing wildly until punched out
                    Then after a lil jab from the girl they go down :/ "she hit me!"

                    Girls are fiery fuckers, pays to be on your toes, or they will KD your ass
                    Haha

                    Girl: come come into my web, come come
                    I GONNA KNOCK YOUR ASS OUT
                    come come

                    Me: Nuh uh (dances off)

                    xD

                • #10
                  Hardest thing I had to overcome? Adult onset epilepsy. That was 15 years ago. Took about 2 years to get fully under control. During those 2 years I had 2 car accidents, including one where my my foot jammed against the accelerator and in slammes into a tree, and a large number of falls, some in dangerous places. Bear in mind that you go unconscious without warning so you have no idea what is going to happen in the very next moment. I started off with occasional panic attacks thinking that a seizure is coming, then i gradually learned to live with, then conquer fear, then began craving the feeling...did skydiving, swimming with sharks, climbing mountains in icy conditions, etc. I also opened my eyes to see that there was an endless number of women, not just the one I was married to at the time, that life was simply too fucking short when it could be taken from you at any moment. But for 12 years or so, have had no seizures but oddly it was the best thing that ever happened to me and really helped make me who I am - almost fearless.

                  Comment


                  • #11
                    Yeah,

                    Was dating my high school girlfriend, who was a high drama chick. I remember taking the year off high school. She ended up being angry because I had slept in instead of opening the door for her, then she got pissed. The day after that, I ended up in the hospital for Pancreatitis and almost died, was there for about two weeks on a fuckton of meds.

                    Ended up eventually getting better, but was unable to do much. However Valentines day was around the corner and I thought I'd take out the girlfriend for a dinner so made reservations etc..etc... When she didn't show up felt bad man. Ended up taking me twice as long to recover after that. As I've always been a reader I went to the nearby Chapters, bought the book The Game and as a result here I am on Sedfast. All that happened five years ago?

                    I have many many stories though about me over coming shit. My life has that spice of life variety that has kept it interesting to say the least. If anybody is interested I can throw a couple of stories.

                    Comment


                    • #12
                      Somewhat similar thread: https://nextasf.com/forum/nextasf/ge...-your-weakness

                      Comment


                      • #13
                        Originally posted by pureevil View Post

                        That was my point lol. I hate this shit. Def never talk this stuff with a girl. Dodge with humor and retake the frame.
                        Yo another way to play it down, is to connect it to a cheesy old song
                        Like
                        Girl: Whats your worst
                        You: You know that song wicked game, was sorta like that, but got over it cuz life's too short

                        Comment


                        • #14
                          Skills:

                          Most would define OTHERS breakups as nothing important, but yeah they can be rough when you have legit fallen in love. If it isn't just wanting more sex because she's hot, but it is legit feelings, it can fuck your head up.

                          "get over it, its just one chick, its oneitis" is like fuckin 9/11 "its just a boxcutter let him through". Tough guy shit.

                          Even worse, as I understand your situation it got into that in addition to economic problems/lifestyle shit. Bad situation made worse, heartbreak AND ugly living situation coming from it. You were open about it even and reached out to the community. I ain't sure I woulda had the same balls. I might be "lost in the role" in a similar time of need and feel like itd fuck with my "image" or marketing and sales and all. Did you consider that and change up anything in seeking help? Or just poured it all out organic?



                          Bacchus:

                          Yeah dude we have talked in private about this many times, some of them conditions you went through were worse than shit I encountered in jails and prisons. Insane. On top of it rejection by own parents. On the flip side though you are probably the strongest current up and coming pickup artist mentally. Not just because of this shit you went through, but you have brains and can innovate too. Having been through let us say third world problems (you were sent to!) doesn't hurt in the not being a pussy department by any means either.
                          Sort of my point with this thread is some new guys or KJs etc, need to see not everyone here is some pampered weakling benefiting from their LMS and luck etc. Some people you are talking to here have had real brutal shit psychologically they've gone through and overcame it and had success.

                          Plus some of the how when people are really replying with how they thought, what they realized.


                          Pureevil:

                          My point with this thread isn't technical verbal game for in field (however strong negative emotional stimulation can work on really sociopathic type women, but that's another subject). Also, I ain't trying to hold some "encounter group whiney" candy bar thing sarcasm.

                          What I am trying to do is humanize everyone to each other, maybe show some insight and feedback to beginners and long time KJs etc, that we arent just little back letters on a white background, but real people who have been through things, overcame things, and succeeded in spite of or because of it. Maybe coax out some specifics of mental change.


                          Jester:

                          Ugly man, sorry for your loss and the subsequent "18 they are out" strictness shit. Combined that must have been tougher than either alone.

                          I've often wondered how I will deal with my mom passing, I mean I am 38, shes 69, but recently had a heart attack and almost died. Really brought it in focus for me that, I am a lifelong bachelor, so far no wife no kids, no other family really, great relationship with her still, my favorite person in the world. It's gonna be tough psychologically losing my only family (half white half mexican, neither side "took") AND a friend conversationally of all these years. Also sort of the point of this thread is just curiosity of how others have overcome really bad shit mentally. As the worst is yet to come for me, I ain't ever went through grief or loss (my dad was nothing I was so young) or adversity (grew up poor, but come on poor in states is easy, don't get a car when you turn 16, boo hoo ). Getting good at this stuff and making a living off of it was a pleasure not a pain. This game and running your own business are the only things I've ever found that aren't massively rigged against you at an institutional level if you are poor. All my hardest struggles have been health/violence/drama shit in life so far. Never lost my smile/had to sing the blues, knock on wood. Why I am curious.


                          Cost:

                          Not asking you to dwell on anything you are "over", indeed I would say if you can't talk about a hard time in your life without feeling like you are "dwelling on it" or "whining about a hard story" you aren't yet over it maybe.

                          I get ya though. I've been through some hairy shit, but feel like in my "station" here/in community that I can't even give my own examples in this thread. Most aren't relevant really any way being they weren't psychological.

                          It's like writing a lay report at this point though. I did first 10 lay reports before 2010 ..... lay reports feel like transparent bragging to try to sell my products or something. Same thing putting out my hardest times as a "guru" is some sort of bragging/DHV of life experience or some shit.

                          That fuckin joke:

                          A guy goes in the doctor's office, he says :

                          "I am in despair, nothing brings me happiness anymore, my family bores me, my friend give me no joy, I don't know how to bring my smile back"
                          the doctor says

                          "I have just the thing, the great clown Pogliacci is in town, go see him and you will cheer up right away"
                          the patient says

                          "but doctor I AM Pagliaci!"

                          Once you go into authority frame, guru role etc, it feels ok to ask a question, but not tell your problems or even tell your achievements or it all especially in this field, especially in this community, it just seems like it will be perceived as unauthentic marketing of some kind.

                          "You either shut down your business a failure, or live long enough to become a spammer/clickbaiter lol."

                          Trying to do the opposite of that here and get some authentic conversation going, maybe help this forum out some. Get some insights myself.

                          Sort of an "fuck these characters we put on, let's get to know each other for real. Let's show and tell how to overcome bad shit not just talk technicals".



                          Jack:

                          2) 7.5 grams of magic mushrooms

                          That sounds traumatic but also terribly entertaining as a story. PLEASE if you haven't already go into it and if so link it haha. not to make light of it, but that's podcast storytime shit

                          3) overcoming crippling anxiety / getting good with women

                          that's probably what most guys here need as a takeaway in specifics. this thread though I'm hoping is more illustrative of bigger fish to fry/who they are talking to, what people have been through so much worse


                          Kit:

                          I'm a sort of "half Tom Cruise" when it comes to meds. I think its 99% of the time bullshit, drug companies fucking people over for out of control corporate profits. BECAUSE there is no chemical imbalance in most people on meds they are just unhappy etc. However, having had a legitimate chemical imbalance correcting it with pure thought exercises seems unnecessarily brutal and hard on yourself. Did you ever do meds? Lots can be corrected with meds. Unless there are no meds that help without terrible side effects for you.

                          What are those stigmas you had to work with docs, psychologists, testing etc? How many hoops did you jump through, thought processes did you have to go through, doctors seen? Fascinating stuff if you are comfortable talking about it. Also might be helpful when someone else finds it who had the same problems via search etc.



                          Groundhog:

                          That's not even psychological, full-blown own brain attacking itself, spooky shit. I can understand why it would end with panic and anxiety. Crazy shit. Going further to end with adrenaline junkie type stuff is interesting. Did you ever do anything like that before? skydiving sharks etc? Were you pretty docile before the "journey"?



                          Must:

                          what a fucked up situation, breakup, then major health problem that soon. Because I'm sure ya want her back for comfort, familiarity. I have hypothetical thought about that before, bad shit that's happened to me, had I just been through a breakup, would I have broke and begged them back just for utility, comfort, sympathy. ugggh rough thoughts. Then you are stuck with her. The chick I had on my podcast ages ago and I hadn't seen each other for a long time and she called me on her deathbed just out of loneliness and shortly died. Made me think of myself in a similar situation.






                          Gun



                          How I step by step cold approach pickup women.

                          Comment


                          • #15
                            Aight gun,
                            I get what you mean,
                            And while I don't really talk this shit, I'll just shoot it out rapid fire


                            My worst time was like 7 years ago
                            I just got back from travelling, doing pu etc
                            And I get to my home town after like having found something amazing in myself and having gotten the monkey off my back

                            But as soon as I get off the plane something feels off
                            I'm like "nah nah, can't be off its in my head"
                            I get off the plane put bags somewhere go to a bar and pickup some girl
                            But then I feel like this crushing weight hit me
                            Like a sledgehammer to my soul or something

                            I go to my parents house, and everyone looks weird to me, like talking really slow and stupid
                            And saying assonine shit like its normal, I eyebrow raise like, ok geez fuck calm down
                            And I start trying to do business shit in my parents study,
                            And I dunno I just felt like a totally humiliated retard

                            Every time I'd pull a girl, the sledgehammer hit me again and again until my heart started to crack.

                            Then over the year I get all these allergies, fall over in the shower, wake up with the water running cold
                            Get tested at the hospital for epilepsy but was clean
                            But afterwards start feeling really really shit all the time
                            And being me, I use my intuition to make a decision it is coming back to the place I grew up, crushing my liberated spirit

                            I have a last surf, then go to the airport
                            I wind up in turkey istanbul
                            and cough up blood in my hotel room
                            like its all over my hand like in breaking bad :P

                            My heart makes this jangling sort of motion, and I cant breathe, and my skin starts burning
                            and whenever i tried to seduce a girl or do anything more intense than walk my heart would jangle and my skin would burn
                            I just started a slow workout routine, trying to clear mind and body
                            over and over and over and over and over
                            until my spirit started to rise up and get better


                            reason it was hard beyond that story, was...
                            I tried every second of every hour of every day to fight it off me, cuz it felt like my soul was unravelling or something
                            So I fought with EVERYTHING EVERYTHING EVERYTHING for so long I just simply forgot what it was like not to

                            Thats my number 1
                            Number 2 was "true" love... fierce fucking love, mad crazy love, the kind that makes two perfectly cool people absolute psychos out for blood, were you love em so much you would die if anythin ever happened to them or to split you apart. When it ended with her screaming on the floor in the fetal position... It was like part of me was dying, as my heart tore in half... I faught for her for a long time... spent my soul...
                            The moment I knew it was done and I couldnt do shit to save a damn thing, I left my apartment, stumbbled through the streets, had to force myself to not blindly walk across roads. Went to the beach and basically darrth vader screamed... fell down.. and said out loud to my future self "dont think this is the real me, it isn't im justt feeling hurt right now".
                            In the end was left with no gas left in my soul. I'd taken every bullet she had, every twisted up barbed wire shit... and it grounded me at the very end... and I just drifted... broken
                            Totally destroyed
                            But with one glimmer of a spark left in me, the sheer inspiration of seeing myself try so hard and go down, it birthed this passion in me like no other
                            And bunching my fist, I rolled up, gritted my teeth, took a breath, and took a step forward. I took a bus to another city, started again
                            Number 3 was getting over my teenage angst/delusions and need to be number one, I dunno why but I had this tyrannical, power hungry, totally maniac side, and it always told me justifications for doing things the hard way, and it drove me again and again and again, to do the hardest shit all in order to AVOID THE FACTS of myself that I wasn't mr. know it all... It was fucked up but with help of good friends, I beat that fucking monster inside of me

                            Thats sorta it
                            It looks bigger when you live it :P

                            But you know, having the perspective I do now, it helps me empathise at other people and just how much shit they face too even if it "sounds" not that big



                            Course now I don't care bout a damn thing ive gone through, just care bout protecting those I love etc (shrugs)
                            I mean, you need to be a good fighter in life, and once you accept that and don't pussy foot around that fact
                            You can accept how hard it gets and not take it like you got an unfair shake or are now OWED something

                            4th most difficult thing were every sport or skill I ever picked up
                            How you hit rock bottom every time, how it strips you down to nothing
                            But these days I look at it as easy and more of a luxury if something is that easy
                            THUSLY I see all people who say "I worked hard" at a skill as pussies
                            Like rich people saying "I earned my place with hard work"
                            I just think pussy pussy pussy
                            I can't help it
                            It just is pussy
                            Lol WORKING HARD TO GAIN ONE SKILL
                            Bahahahahahahahahaha!
                            PUSSY

                            (scratches head)

                            But yeah, sometimes finance is really hard too
                            Like not wondering if you;ll make rent
                            But, its more a fear of shaming yourself, and you can get over it
                            But feels like chewing glass doesnt it, fuckin shit

                            But yeah for the most part Ive been lucky and I'm thankful
                            I'm financially ok, rockin with babes, and got lots of balls rollin, so I feel good


                            The chick I had on my podcast ages ago and I hadn't seen each other for a long time and she called me on her deathbed just out of loneliness and shortly died.
                            Ugh, god man...
                            Yeah, people you know getting sick like that, it does something to ya man
                            I don't talk about those things cuz just too tough
                            But yeah, mortality shit... :'(

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