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What is the hardest thing you have ever overcome psychologically?

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  • #16
    Originally posted by Gunwitch View Post

    My point with this thread isn't technical verbal game for in field (however strong negative emotional stimulation can work on really sociopathic type women, but that's another subject). Also, I ain't trying to hold some "encounter group whiney" candy bar thing sarcasm.

    What I am trying to do is humanize everyone to each other, maybe show some insight and feedback to beginners and long time KJs etc, that we arent just little back letters on a white background, but real people who have been through things, overcame things, and succeeded in spite of or because of it. Maybe coax out some specifics of mental change.
    I feel you. Not my thing personally though. Just adding some humorous content and a slightly reframed PU angle, upping that click count for you


    • #17
      Originally posted by Impulse
      Speaks volumes man, I can see your a sensitive guy as you get offended easily. Same goes for Bacchus're way too sensitive need to get rid of that shit with a bit of ADT, EFT and TRE. Maybe a bit of self hypnosis to boot (stuff ive been doing for years and years)

      I was the athletics champion at school, the guy everyone had to of the smart kids, privately educated, top 5 uni, self made multi-millionaire....yes I had a lot of bad shit too, but what you focus on is what you get more of, no point even mentioning the past..DAFS to know more

      This is why your so sensitive and get offended by my have shit floating in your system you need to deal with


      , would all be a good start. You clearly havent done any of this stuff man...nobody to blame but yourself when the answers are right in front of you. Talking about your shit only draws them nearer in your awareness (and re-creates the experiences) - learn to develop thicker skin dude, honestly if your offended by my posts here, there's no way you'd manage in UK clubs...that shit can be brutal
      Its quite entertaining, how your bottomless pit of zero-self-worth renders you incapable of making a post that isn't attacking someone, even in a thread that's about respectfully sharing vulnerabilies.

      Keep dancing, monkey. I'm bored today, need some more humor.


      • #18
        Originally posted by Impulse
        Im not attacking anyone man...your just so fuckin sensitive you need to get that shit
        First half of sentence, meet 2nd half of sentence. You keep topping yourself, monkey. Dance for me some more


        • #19
          Gun, for me the chemical disbalance was due to taking "the pill" and being in a very stressful period.

          I think my balance is totally fine normally but if synthetic estrogen and synthetic progesteron block the natural hormones endorphic workings, the scale tips.
          (think i am normal to excess amounts of those hormones, so extra sensitive to it)

          i quit the pill and have never experienced such an uncontrollable down ever again after that. So totally agree with the first paragraph. Meds are never 100% and often the downsides are not highlighted or properly examined+ reported because thats not the goal of those companies.

          However, having had a legitimate chemical imbalance correcting it with pure thought exercises seems unnecessarily brutal and hard on yourself.
          didnt really have that much of a choice unfortunately. There is you and there is your head thats part of you and even if you want to shut it down.. it doesnt shut down.. so whats left then is you and your thoughts.. and the only way to get out of it reasonably not broken is analyse how to survive :') and survival requires becoming either happier/safer, OR letting whatever emotion go on BUT shielding yourself from whatever appears harmful.. and the first things that you can see/think of that are harmful are making it get worse.. so if you want to make sure it doesnt get worse.. you have to refocus your thoughts.. and analyse and analyse what you truly care about. For me personally one of the main things was that i wasnt sure i really wanted to "survive", so i thought on life and what i wanted out of it or not.. and thats how i got to that lifegoal shit. It didnt make happier, but it did give some resolve to make decisions that were objectively good for me and to figure out how i could make myself get into a more happier/heathy mood../sleep/just get through the moment. Idk what i did after that decision etc. I just know that it helped me get through.

          idk i am no miracle.. i think the people who go through it more often and without the option to just quit taking some pills so that the whole chemical part gets solved, are more miraculous and impressive.. i cant imagine it, dont think i want to.. one brush with that kind of mental "uncontrollablt moving" out of balance state was more than enough for me.

          Did you ever do meds? Lots can be corrected with meds. Unless there are no meds that help without terrible side effects for you.

          Soooo fixing it by medication was not really logical, for me the fix was quitting the pill (which is medication with synthetically altered forms of hormones the body has naturally.. so if i got back to my natural hormones the balance/scale would tip to the favourable equilibrium again.

          it did make me realize however that if there are people with that kind of natural chemical imbalance, medications indeed would be advisable. Am not sure something like that is 100% survivable only on thoughts.. however nowadays they can neurostimulate which is 1000 times better than meds i think.

          but yeah, thanks for reminding me why i will never try birth control pills or other birth control medications again.. almost had forgotten the depth of this
          someone had almost made me think about trying again but reading through this made me realise it would be the worst idea ever

          ​​​​​So thanks

          edit: to get back at the pills part. I think only pills/treatment dont really solve what is causing the disbalance
          think first there is this
          will that you want things to be different

          secondly there are structural changes that need to be brought into life
          => the right foods
          => sports
          => contact with "right" mindedpeople
          that kinda stuff..
          think that pills can aid you with getting started to go into that direction but are more likely to make it hard to quit the pills itself.. think getting a while approach and dropping pills asap, after getting grip on the essentials of healthy life, is key
          Last edited by Kit; 01-07-2018, 02:03 PM.


          • #20
            First off, I wanted to say how I really enjoyed how you took the time to answer to everyone seperately, thank you for taking the time. Also, I loved that joke about the clown, have heard that before but it's still a nice one

            Originally posted by Gunwitch View Post

            Ugly man, sorry for your loss and the subsequent "18 they are out" strictness shit. Combined that must have been tougher than either alone.

            I've often wondered how I will deal with my mom passing, I mean I am 38, shes 69, but recently had a heart attack and almost died. Really brought it in focus for me that, I am a lifelong bachelor, so far no wife no kids, no other family really, great relationship with her still, my favorite person in the world. It's gonna be tough psychologically losing my only family (half white half mexican, neither side "took") AND a friend conversationally of all these years. Also sort of the point of this thread is just curiosity of how others have overcome really bad shit mentally. As the worst is yet to come for me, I ain't ever went through grief or loss (my dad was nothing I was so young) or adversity (grew up poor, but come on poor in states is easy, don't get a car when you turn 16, boo hoo ). Getting good at this stuff and making a living off of it was a pleasure not a pain. This game and running your own business are the only things I've ever found that aren't massively rigged against you at an institutional level if you are poor. All my hardest struggles have been health/violence/drama shit in life so far. Never lost my smile/had to sing the blues, knock on wood. Why I am curious.
            It wasn't so much "18 they are out", it was my father hating himself and projecting that hate onto everyone around him because he thought other people were to blame for his misery. He cut contact with everyone, family, old friends, and focused only on building a new life with his new wife. Ten years later now he's still isolated from most of his family and friends (I do visit him regularily though) and the only real anchor he has is the woman he married about 10 years ago. As long as she's around, they can keep up their island life, but if she dies or something I don't know how he'll cope with no one around to catch him when he's falling.

            My sister got herself a boyfriend with a close-knit family and basically became part of that family to find grounding. She still mourns the loss of my mother to this day. My brother started a new family with his girlfriend and now wife, he never talks about our mother and doesn't allow himself to feel any feelings at all lest he might feel his own loss. I've accepted (because of what happened in the aftermath) that I'm basically on my own in this world and that I can rely on others only to some extent and have to be self-reliant. All those "solutions" to the death of an important family members have their benefits and their bad consequences too. For example I have a hard time truly trusting anyone with my life, even people I could be trusting.

            I've sometimes wondered who I would be today if my mother hadn't died that early or my father hadn't freaked out back in the days. I suppose I would feel much more part of my original family, which would in some ways be a good thing (knowing you are safe and have someone to catch you when you fall) but in others not so much. I'm much more free-spirited these days than I was when my family was still intact, which I enjoy, and so might you when your mother passes. You don't have to prove anything to anyone but yourself anymore then.

            But, and this is the drawback, it can make you feel quite lonely even though surrounded by people. I have a hard time living that concept because of my own history, but observing my brother and sister for example I can see how "family" trumps everything in their lives. They will repeatedly invite people they don't actually like into their homes just because they are family, and after a fight they will try their best to forgive anyone who is family while they wouldn't with people who are "just" friends.

            I can see in my brother's case who has three kids now that he simply loves it, he lives for his family, and his kids are amazingly lucky they have a father like him. In his case he got somewhat lucky in terms of a job that pays a lot without him spending too much effort on it, plus his dream life is very conservative and thus aligned with the institutions that are already in place in my country. But I guess it's not just luck, it's what he wanted all along and when the opportunities came around he took them.

            In my case, to have kids and be truly happy about having them it would probably have to be with someone who is open to an open relationship, be open to traveling a lot and be very creative-minded in order to not bore me long-term and find creative solutions to situations. Having kids with someone who doesn't fit these criteria would probably be a stupid idea both for me, for the woman in question and for the kids. I have accepted the possibility of never having my own kids if the circumstances don't fit, and that sure helps. Thought I've found the woman for that a few times, but so far I always turned out to be wrong in the end

            So I think if you would like to have your own kids, you should think hard under which conditions that would make you happy, and whether you can create these conditions for yourself, even if that means letting go of someone you feel love for in general in order to find someone you feel love for and who is a fit for those goals. My main mistake so far was thinking love by itself would be enough. It isn't. That was another really hard truth to fully accept.



            • #21
              Hmmm guess sharing my stories didn't help so much Gun

              All we got is Jester here
              And he looooves this stuff
              He's rollin round like a pig in mud in it

              Jester, dude, why you so happy about expressing dark shit
              Doesn't it bother you?



              • #22
                Drug addiction, gambling addiction, mother problems lol