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  • My desire to be alone is increasing and increasing...

    It seems that i need and enjoy tons of time alone, which most women are unable to understand.... though i persuade them and explain to them i need tons of alone time blah blah...


    A lot of girls don't understand it and backfired by they wanting me more, which in turns become a horrible vicious circle.... I started noticing my need for a LOT OF alone time prior to my break up (this was one of the issues).... It does no matter what girl it is or what personality trait i need that alone time.....(and a lot of it)

    Same as work and clubs and life in general all this people want to befriend me and i see myself wanting to be left alone, is this normal...


    I know everybody now is calling it sigma male and the likes.... But i wonder if this is really normal... Main reason is really affecting my relationships with women.... If any of you can relate or how you dealt with it shoot....

    I did find this video, but i don't trust this type of content:





  • #2
    Quality alone time is vastly underrated by society at large. The reason being is that it is not something you can put on your Instagram or Facebook stories.

    People still do things like.. play an instrument, read a book, go to gym, meditating, cooking, biking, swimming, kayaking, yoga, hiking...

    Wanting to have some alone time if you have to deal with a ton of people day in day out is completely natural. Also, I feel like Sigma male is just a fancy evolutionary psychology name for an Ambivert.

    Comment


    • Jaques

      Jaques

      commented
      Editing a comment
      When it comes to balancing my alone time and setting expectations with women (or anyone else for that matter) I do these few things:

      - Make sure there are times when I am regularly unreachable. (like work hours, etc...)
      - Don't check my phone when I am with someone else. Any phone-calls can go into voice-mail (plus who calls people nowadays, anyway? )
      - I am very nice and generous to people in person, unless they have given me a reason not to. (Especially if there is nothing I would be gaining by being nice to them) This way I let them subtly know I am not being nice just to get something, but enjoy it. Being easygoing also helps you side-step huge amount of silly problems and opens you some doors that would have been closed otherwise.
      - I am bit of an asshole when I am bored. It keeps me entertained.
      - When I plan dates I make sure that any 'exciting' type of date is a thing that is in a weeks time kind of event and paint a picture with words how much fun we are going to have.
      - If she wants to hang about in between I'd probably be like: I'd probably be just reading my book, but you are welcome to come around anyway. Then we'd probably talk about the book a bit and I'd let her do the most of the work. (I haven't read a book in a long, long time). Women seem to love these sort of games.
      - I very rarely do anything I don't feel like doing.


      I have used these and more with moderate success. Pick the ones you like and fine tune as needed to fit your personality and demeanour.

      Let me know how it goes

    • Skills360

      Skills360

      commented
      Editing a comment
      I already do all that and more, again the problem is they want to spend more time with me, and they complain than when they are with me i am doing other stuff anyways....I really want to see girls maximum maybe 3 hours a week.... Anything more than that it bothers me... That is why i think something is wrong i don't desire to spend a lot of time with people...

    • Jaques

      Jaques

      commented
      Editing a comment
      Then it depends on what you want from life, I suppose.

      And also I guess you ll get a bit burnt out after seeing the same thing for 20 thousandth time.

  • #3
    I have just watched the video and it sounds like a cold-read feel-good horoscope type of content. The one thing that really rings true are the strong boundaries.
    Another thing I would like to add is expectation management.

    Tubarao has been always a great inspiration to me. I suggest you'd read some of his old posts.

    Hope this helps

    Comment


    • Skills360

      Skills360

      commented
      Editing a comment
      yeah i found the video feel good instagram post type, which is why i said i don't trust it.... wooo woooo feel good...

    • Logic&Reason

      Logic&Reason

      commented
      Editing a comment
      Tubs's strategy is great, but involves taking on an attitude of pluralizing your feminine energy sources and letting any individual girl go. Which Skills is doing, and I'm doing: they blow a circuit, you let them go and move to your replacements. Maybe the girl comes back around, maybe not. Its a workaround to this issue though (how to be least affected by it), not a fix (you're keeping the girl and the honeymoon vibes for years on end without her losing it emotionally). Not sure a fix is possible though, the workaround may be inevitable and it may just come down to your preferred workaround.

      The thing is, as I've seen Skills write, there's no way to escape the fact that at every level of the game there are exceptional girls in relation to you. When you get a standout by your reference point, it sucks to lose her, even if you have 10 other women to immediately fuck and have fucked 100s of girls in your life.

      The ideal would be to preserve that honeymoon phase as long as possible with the girl of choice for years on end where you're also building a life to share together (a shared life experience is not to be undervalued, especially as you get older). Not sure that's possible though.

      In my case, I could perhaps choose a few beta battles to lose (you often have to lose battles to win a war) and offer more comfort going forward while still keeping the tension and sexual attraction strong. We'll see. It usually takes a while before I find another girl worth going down this road with.

    • Jaques

      Jaques

      commented
      Editing a comment
      Agreed

  • #4
    Originally posted by Skills360 View Post
    A lot of girls don't understand it and backfired by they wanting me more, which in turns become a horrible vicious circle.... I started noticing my need for a LOT OF alone time prior to my break up (this was one of the issues).... It does no matter what girl it is or what personality trait i need that alone time.....(and a lot of it)
    I'm losing my current girl over this right now. Its a vicious cycle indeed. . you give them stronger feelings than most, fuck them better than most, constantly re-seduce throughout the relationship keeping the whole thing tingly and sexual, won't compromise on any beta-zation attempts, and are generally unavailable due to a busy life and the need for alone time to decompress.

    The girl then gets hooked on you like a drug and gradually loses her mind until things hit a breaking point.

    Managing expectations doesn't work. Many girls see "I have two days a week to give to you" (or whatever expectations you need to set) as a challenge and start doing whatever they can to get you to budge. This means while you're simply doing your thing, they're mentally wrapped up in you. Their attachment skyrockets while you stay even keel.

    The whole process makes them fall in love harder than they usually fall. While being terrified of it. This means increasingly out-of-control emotional behavior even from those girls who otherwise never act this way.

    Haven't found a solution other than to ride it out and then move on. No idea how to keep a good sexually charged relationship going more than a couple years. Either the sexual charge goes away (because I lose interest, or get lazy and stop re-seducing and let the comfort grow too strong), or the girl loses her mind as described.


    (That video is absolutely terrible, I couldn't watch past the first point. I'd edit that out in consideration of any impressionable people that may stumble by here.)

    Comment


    • #5
      Originally posted by Logic&Reason View Post

      I'm losing my current girl over this right now. Its a vicious cycle indeed. . you give them stronger feelings than most, fuck them better than most, constantly re-seduce throughout the relationship keeping the whole thing tingly and sexual, won't compromise on any beta-zation attempts, and are generally unavailable due to a busy life and the need for alone time to decompress.

      The girl then gets hooked on you like a drug and gradually loses her mind until things hit a breaking point.

      Managing expectations doesn't work. Many girls see "I have two days a week to give to you" (or whatever expectations you need to set) as a challenge and start doing whatever they can to get you to budge. This means while you're simply doing your thing, they're mentally wrapped up in you. Their attachment skyrockets while you stay even keel.

      The whole process makes them fall in love harder than they usually fall. While being terrified of it.

      Haven't found a solution other than to ride it out and then move on.


      (That video is absolutely terrible, I couldn't watch past the first point. I'd edit that out in consideration of any impressionable people that may stumble by here.)
      ^ this is EXACTLY what i am going through and have gone through with about 4 girls (including the 10 year one)

      since 1 girl ok maybe is me, 2 girl shit, 3 girl something is off, and now i thought there is something abnormally wrong with me.... However, this post makes me feel wayyyyy better cause i was about to seek therapy.....

      about the video i was trying to see if i am ok and again i said the video seems woo wooo...


      I just also think and is my theory that the higher the lay count the more we are fucked, based on research....


      I am also worried that i need to do something, i can not keep sarging till i am 100 years old...


      If you do find something before me shoot!!!!


      Comment


      • #6
        hey guys here is the perfect sample just happened while i was in lunch(there was no silent treatment i just do not take or check my phone in lunch(just lol at the timing, perfect for this post):


        hb: pppaaapppiiiii 12:01 PM
        hb: miss u 12:01 PM
        hb: luv u 12:01 PM
        hb: thinking about u 12:01 PM
        hb: just got out to lunch now 12:01 PM
        hb: hope u having a good day..u havent txt all morning 12:02 PM
        hb: 12:26 PM
        hb: i give up 12:26 PM
        hb: im going to start heading back..i was hoping to get to talk to u via txt aunque fuera unos minutos..ur silent treatment sucks ass...if u dont want to see me anymore and u tired of me and want a break just tell me....all this shit is hurting as fuck and i feel like im talking to a wall/rock...even when we are together u are in ur own world..i just dont get it...and u being silent is not helping either 12:51 PM
        Another thing is that i think women start getting competition anxiety and start getting more needy, specially cause as we date they also see improvement in lifestyle, body, style, other female attention etc.... But this is my theory... They also magnify their feelings thinking that ALL women feel or see me as them who are whipped see me.... Don't know if i am explaining this right...

        The other thing is that obviously when you are out with them, they get a FALSE view of reality.... Of course we all know than when we are out with girls all the female attention we artificially get does not really happen the same when we are alone....

        We all say to ourselves one time or another "why this never happens to me when I am alone". Of course we get more attention and more women wanting us cause we have a social proof of a pivot.... Now women that date guys like us get again a distorted view of reality....

        "you are a chick magnet" she keeps saying cause she actually think that what happens out with her is what happens to me out alone...


        ^ i hope i am explaining this right and you guys get it...


        Comment


        • #7
          This looks more like girlfriend behavior than fuckbuddy behavior.

          "hb: hope u having a good day..u havent txt all morning"

          I mean ...do you guys text every single day? That not texting her the first thing in the morning is weird to her lol.

          I might make a post on texting fuck buddies later, but these just seems like bizzare behavior to me. My girls know I fuck other girls.I even share my field reports with them while we're lying in bed lol.

          I think us introvert types prefer fuck buddies to girlfriends simply because we like having our alone time. And they respect it cause they don't view me as 'relationship' guy.

          Comment


          • #8
            Originally posted by Velasco View Post
            This looks more like girlfriend behavior than fuckbuddy behavior.

            "hb: hope u having a good day..u havent txt all morning"

            I mean ...do you guys text every single day? That not texting her the first thing in the morning is weird to her lol.

            I might make a post on texting fuck buddies later, but these just seems like bizzare behavior to me. My girls know I fuck other girls.I even share my field reports with them while we're lying in bed lol.

            I think us introvert types prefer fuck buddies to girlfriends simply because we like having our alone time. And they respect it cause they don't view me as 'relationship' guy.

            Of course no! her delusions and anxiety of my withdrawal (perceived by her i am acting the same) is making her make those crazy proclamations...


            Velacio this are not the fuck buddies but the main type girls in fairness...


            p.s. don't make a post about texting fuck buddies is water is wet territory


            Comment


            • #9
              Yeah this is about how to keep your main from emotionally short circuiting if you can only offer limited time.

              What happens is they get hooked on you like a drug because the together time is absolutely amazing (which is true, you've screened her out as super compatible and both emotionally/physically stimulating from a huge pool of girls thanks to PU and relationship game), but sparse. This anticipation/delivery leads to big dopamine/serotonin/oxytoxin etc boosts they don't get anywhere else in life. Over time they gradually start spending the time away from you in greater and greater withdrawal/craving until even a well screened high value girl ends up asking herself "what is wrong with me, I'm acting all clingy and obsessive, wtf" and the whole thing falls apart in one of a few ways after that.

              Comment


              • #10
                No matter how much i try again i am back to square one:






                ^ for a second i thought i can do the oltr shit! everything set up, no lying, no cheating, strong frame she said yes...


                i am back to the oltr is a fantasy camp....


                I thought i pulled it off for 2 seconds....


                Again i am curious to see and not to bring back bd type drama back to the forum, but the dude has been able to pull it off better than all of us...(say what you want to say, i have not been to pull it off as long as he has other than look the other way cheating)....


                I know i use the forum as a therapy session at times (my bad guys)... But i just feel as a failure not being able to achieve this oltr shit again without cheating model, i mean i pulled it off for couple of months, thinking i am the shit i finally can do what bd can do and back to shit....

                I have to eventually dump this girl i can not go on like this...

                So is either fbs model, but the higher quality girls drop off after they see not upgrades and a beta or opportunistic bait and switch player comes along....

                or a good compatible pair bond girls accepts the overly powerful frame and is submissive but as she deeply falls, could take months maybe years they start looking the other way (which is killing them btw), reach breaking point., or get overly needy and time demanding...(usually the time machine type girls which i think is also a way to cockblock if you think about it)

                or the younger not compatible generation z girls going through cock carousel accepts this shit, but there is 0 long term mating prospect and comparability...



                But logic I totally feel better seeing there is not just me going through this stuff.... And the thing is that this girls are good girls, low drama, very loving women that we got to dump....


                rant over guys.... lol at my post went all over the place..... Was not my intention








                Comment


                • #11
                  This exact same thing happened to me on my last relationship and the fact that I was most of the time traveling because of work was not helping to the situation either. There is really no solution but to enjoy the ride in the meantime (which it lasted 18 months). In my situation she was the one that got tired and left when she just realized the relationship wasnt getting anywhere. She was a good girl but Im just the type of guy that likes to do my own things. My advise is just try to balance it out. The times that you are together just enjoy each other’s company doing what you normally do together. By that either she will continue to stick around or eventually leave wether its initiated by you or her, or at least that is my opinion and personal experience.

                  Comment


                  • #12
                    Originally posted by Velasco View Post
                    This looks more like girlfriend behavior than fuckbuddy behavior.

                    "hb: hope u having a good day..u havent txt all morning"

                    I mean ...do you guys text every single day? That not texting her the first thing in the morning is weird to her lol.
                    Haha yeah the girl I lay with over Valentine's, since she went back to the city in Northern Europe where she lives, has been trying to establish a rhythm of writing to each other every day, which I broke recently, having also stopped answering "how's your day been?"

                    If at first it seemed cute because I spend most of my time in the library alone and it was someone to talk to recently I started thinking this was her establishing a frame which I don't want, especially since when arranging for her to come visit in a month's time she asked me "what do you expect out of my stay there?" to which I said "to fuck you" and then I had to persuade her to book it, her saying that she's "never done this before with someone who's not a boyfriend."

                    Since my "eureka" moment I've been training her, so not answering the "good day?" texts (she had a BF when I took her to bed, and now she seems to want to make me, if not in name, at least in behavior, some sort of replacement, and I don't want to give mixed signals).

                    Sorry if this slightly derails from the original thread topic Skills360.
                    In pussy we trust

                    Comment


                    • #13
                      yeah i always need alone time in relationships too... cause no end of strife...

                      Comment


                      • #14
                        Excuse if i go off-topic a bit, I didn't read all the replies. The spending alone time Is just an introvert thing, depending on where u are on that spectrum determines how much alone time u need.

                        Are you talking about needing alone time while ur in a long term relationship or is it for fuck-buddies or friendships? Its very unusual to only want to spend 3 hours a week with a partner, that seems absurdly low.

                        Comment


                        • #15
                          Originally posted by PUA Reality View Post
                          Excuse if i go off-topic a bit, I didn't read all the replies. The spending alone time Is just an introvert thing, depending on where u are on that spectrum determines how much alone time u need.

                          Are you talking about needing alone time while ur in a long term relationship or is it for fuck-buddies or friendships? Its very unusual to only want to spend 3 hours a week with a partner, that seems absurdly low.

                          Yeah i used to need to have women in my bed every night (different ones) just to sleep... I could not sleep alone, i always needed to have women in my life.... Then i started reading books on zen, meditation, minimalism self help etc... and i don't know if i did a 360 and brainwashed myself to the point i like a lot of alone time and introspection, always reading or listening to audiobooks etc... or working on projects way superior for me... --> i never noticed this since i always had women in my life... After experiencing the joy of being alone and being ok and happy alone, by the time i re- incorporated women into my life it was totally inferior to alone time.....

                          ^ women started noticing that i prefer alone time, and as logic and reasoning explain it turn out to be a super powerful seduction nuclear bomb..... Women are falling for me super harder than in any other time i can remember.... They get totally addicted like a crack addict..... And i am not wanting this outcome i want totally the opposite outcome:

                          example.- i picked a girl to be with me due to a traveling career.... After being with me it backfired she quit her job to spend more time with me...

                          example 2.- Same type of girl i tried again^ she then traveled from other cities to see me, and then would be super hurt for my lack of attention. Of course this happened because she just traveled with last minute announcements, which gave me anxiety, since i did not want to spend a whole weekend with her...

                          example 3.- My female best friend recommended i date a girl with kid/s cause they tend to be more busy with the kids.... It was actually worst...


                          the thing is i can see how hurt they become and a lot of crying and stuff....


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