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good suggestions for treatment of sickness: oneitis

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  • good suggestions for treatment of sickness: oneitis

    hey everyone,

    i have this oneitis, my ex. i think about her way too often. shes a worthless piece of shit and doesn't deserve my thoughts or affection. she managed to convert me from total badass alpha male that all the women wanted to a weak willed beta that did as i was told. once this transformation was complete she was tired of me. strung me along till something more interesting came along. don't worry too much though. i am quickly reverting back to my badass ways. its actually scary how tight my game is these days. still, i think of her often and it hurts. its not healthy and its time to move on.

    i am sure as you read this you get the urge to post, "go fuck ten other women" and I am working on it. Sex with other women helps a little but after a couple days i go back to thinking about the ex. what kind of bullshit is this?! i am pretty sure that i could sleep with 20 other women and its still only going to be a quick fix and not an actual solution. besides, sleeping with the volume of women it would take to get over her that way would leave me feeling kind of dirty and prolly catch something. the first woman i slept with to get over her helped the most. i get a little less relief with each additional women i bed.

    man, i wish hypnotica made a hypnosis product that would just remove her from my mind. i mean some serious Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind type shit. i would pay good money for that right now.

    any advice?

    note to mods:
    i wasn't sure if this belongs in off-topic or general. if this is actually worth putting in the general form please move it.

  • #2
    http://blackdragonblog.wordpress.com...s-and-oneitis/
    How to have 3 hour meet-to-lays and nonmonogamous relationships with any type of woman:
    The Blackdragon Blog

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    • #3
      thanks a lot BD! that was a really good article.

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      • #4
        1) Accept it's over.

        2) Grieve and cry it out.
        The less logical parts of your brain see a relationship breakup as a death. GFTOW is often used by guys to try and circumvent dealing with their feelings, but there is no other way than grieving and crying -- it is the human emotional release valve.

        3) GFTOW.
        Grieving will come and go in cycles. The cycles will be close together at first, and then quickly spread out as you grieve (hence why it is important not to repress those feelings). They may take a few weeks to become truly spaced out, before disappearing. During this time, do make sure you get out the house, see friends, meet new people and GFTOW.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Illuminatus View Post
          1) Accept it's over.

          2) Grieve and cry it out.
          The less logical parts of your brain see a relationship breakup as a death. GFTOW is often used by guys to try and circumvent dealing with their feelings, but there is no other way than grieving and crying -- it is the human emotional release valve.

          3) GFTOW.
          Grieving will come and go in cycles. The cycles will be close together at first, and then quickly spread out as you grieve (hence why it is important not to repress those feelings). They may take a few weeks to become truly spaced out, before disappearing. During this time, do make sure you get out the house, see friends, meet new people and GFTOW.
          more great advice. i found this that sort of give some insight into what you are talking about.

          http://www.livestrong.com/article/12...grief-divorce/

          i find its more of a cycle than a set of stages. at first i would burn through all the stages in the cycle in a matter of hours and they would be really intense. now they stages pass more slowly but aren't nearly as emotional.

          she was a fucking headcase that said all sorts of things that made it hard for me to let go. the worst was the last time she was in my bed she strongly hinted that she was going to leave me soon. she told me that she wanted me to come back and ruin her next relationship by seducing her. wtf?

          anyways, thanks for the advice. i am going to follow it.

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          • #6
            I am living proof that you can overcome oneitis without GFTOW if your mission is strong enough. I still see her once in a while and it is a laugh for me as she tries to hook me back in. It just reminds me of how far I've come, and I enjoy everything about it (including subtly taunting her for her stupid shit). She is getting older and losing core market value with each passing day while I fuck progressively cooler and younger chicks I say that without malice, it's just the hand that fate plays for men vs. women.

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            • #7
              I think acceptance is the key, there's supposedly 7stages to grief.

              http://www.recover-from-grief.com/7-...-of-grief.html (I haven't read the content here. I'm presuming it's correct)

              You'll see acceptance is the final stage. If you can reach that point then I would say you'll be fine.

              Reading BD' an Francos stuff I've come to realise its not one-itis I get, not sure what it is, but the descriptions don't fit me at all.

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              • #8
                I confirm that one-itis has very much to do with the process of grief connected with a loss anyway...

                I have to add that the situation is even more painful and dangerous compared to the process of grief.

                In one-itis we have on one side Nature trying to perpetuate by pleasure the mating choice of the guy.

                It largely uses addiction and pleasure brain transmitters to achieve that.

                On the other side we have the process of grief for the loss.

                Now in the process of grief the element of pleasure is missing.

                Here we have at least two strong strengths playing with the brain of the guy.

                The situation is for the brain of the guy little bit like the brain would be a football ball and two players on both sides would be kicking the ball to each other..

                The element of pleasure blocks the process of grief..and makes the grief impossible.

                It is little bit like losing someone through death in a situation where the brain cannot accept the fact that the person is dead.

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