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"50 Shades" Opener - Crash & Burn!!!

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  • "50 Shades" Opener - Crash & Burn!!!

    I see women shamelessly reading this in public all the time, so I figured it was time to develop an opener. I tried it on the subway. Here's how it went:

    DNYC: [catching HB's eye] Hi.
    HB: Hello...
    DNYC: So... get to the part where he spanks her yet?

    The train was pulling into the station right then. The HB got up without a word, walked out of the train car, and walked back in to the next train car.

    I've never made a woman change cars before. Oh well. Can't win 'em all.

  • #2
    Wait, women are actually reading this out in public?

    I thought this was the most famous smut novel ever? I mean, even I have heard about it and I'm European.
    Don't they realize that they are basically walking around with porn?

    Nick

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    • #3
      Originally posted by DNYC View Post
      I see women shamelessly reading this in public all the time, so I figured it was time to develop an opener. I tried it on the subway. Here's how it went:

      DNYC: [catching HB's eye] Hi.
      HB: Hello...
      DNYC: So... get to the part where he spanks her yet?

      The train was pulling into the station right then. The HB got up without a word, walked out of the train car, and walked back in to the next train car.

      I've never made a woman change cars before. Oh well. Can't win 'em all.
      Incredibly mis-calibrated.

      I'm currently mining this trend, and it's coming up with some high grade ore online. Chicks connect with this shit DEEPLY. You would have been far better off just asking her, "So. What do you think of it?"

      You could have taken her response and run with it all OVER the place.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by DNYC View Post

        I've never made a woman change cars before. Oh well. Can't win 'em all.
        That's a fucking victory man!

        You had so much power over her, she changes cars! WIN

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        • #5
          Originally posted by NiccoloDaVinci View Post
          Wait, women are actually reading this out in public

          Nick
          Oh yes. Two on that train car at least. Maybe more if I could have seen their Kindle screens.

          Originally posted by JetSetJim View Post
          Incredibly mis-calibrated.
          Meh, I guess I was feeling ballsy. I mean, she was openly reading smut on the train! Throwing calibration to the wind seemed like the thing to do at the time.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by DNYC View Post
            Oh yes. Two on that train car at least. Maybe more if I could have seen their Kindle screens.
            I don't commute or anything where women are reading regularly, yet I found and opened a woman reading this in a goddamned restaurant two months ago. Makes me wonder if they are trolling the waters a bit, at least with each other (something to gab with each other about).

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            • #7
              Originally posted by DNYC
              That's why I kind of went over-the-top with this opener. I thought, "who needs discretion and calibration when she's openly reading smut on the train?"
              My opener was "Have you seen the SNL skit of that?, it's hilarious." Went over well and I sat and chatted with her for 15 minutes, but she was kind of boring (shy?) and (just) below looks threshold for that evening, so I moved on.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Bad Boyfriend View Post
                Makes me wonder if they are trolling the waters a bit...
                My thoughts exactly. But no, I guess some women just want to publicly consume erotica in peace.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by DNYC View Post
                  My thoughts exactly. But no, I guess some women just want to publicly consume erotica in peace.
                  Try this: carry a pair of handcuffs, and when she catches your eye, subtly move them from one pocket to another in your bag. No shit-eating grin allowed, just meet with a steady gaze. Then open on any other trivial topic.

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                  • #10
                    As I told JSJ in a PM (we were talking about online game):
                    [I am not trying to play the 50 shades card because] I noticed something about the girls who read this book:
                    - the ones who liked it are pretty prude and would never try anything of the sort,
                    - the ones who didn't like it have experience in the Lifestyle (or at least in dominant, kinky sex) and think the book is a terrible portrayal of real-life D/s relationships.

                    So an ad like this would probably target the wrong demographics (the girls who are to scared to try). Though this is all KJ of course.

                    My OKC profile does mention, as one of the things I could never do without, "a little doll to play with ".

                    What I do is ask them, very early or even as an opener: "Are you a good girl?". And whatever her answer is, I reply "Do you do as you are told?".

                    Those who understand, understand.

                    Have yet to grow the balls to try this IRL. Have a date tonight, a few drinks and I'm jumping in!

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                    • #11
                      I've actually used it when anyone's said anything vaguely suggestive, as in "ah... I bet you've been reading that 50 shades of grey". It seems to work better In groups of women, age 30+ but imstill messing about with delivery, so it's a bit early yet.

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                      • #12
                        tumblr_m75u0ul1Z41r3jsrko1_500.jpg

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                        • #13
                          from the reviews i have read about that book the women who would dig that sort of thing are pretty fucked up. the women that enjoy it like to be treated like shit and kicked around. not my thing. i see it as a indicator that i should be screening them out.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Fox View Post
                            from the reviews i have read about that book the women who would dig that sort of thing are pretty fucked up. the women that enjoy it like to be treated like shit and kicked around. not my thing. i see it as a indicator that i should be screening them out.
                            Okay, screen out all of the sexually open-minded girls. I guess that just means that there's more for me. Incidentally, my girlfriend read the first book. She said that the writing was atrocious, but that the sex scenes were really well done. It's basically just porn for women. She also told me we already do a lot of the BDSM type stuff that's done in the book.

                            I'm thinking about buying a copy just to leave on my nightstand.

                            -Wolf

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Wolfwood View Post
                              Okay, screen out all of the sexually open-minded girls. I guess that just means that there's more for me. Incidentally, my girlfriend read the first book. She said that the writing was atrocious, but that the sex scenes were really well done. It's basically just porn for women. She also told me we already do a lot of the BDSM type stuff that's done in the book.

                              I'm thinking about buying a copy just to leave on my nightstand.

                              -Wolf
                              this is the review i read that lead me to the conclusion that it should be used to screen out women.

                              http://www.goodreads.com/review/show...attempted=true

                              it seems that the type of woman that would enjoy reading this sort of book wants to be used and feel subordinate. i am on the lookout for my equal... but then this perspective isn't really getting me far. maybe i should treat women like shit.

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