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I want to solve this mystery. Validation seekers....

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  • I want to solve this mystery. Validation seekers....

    There are a few girls I know from warm approaches who put in their profile status that they are "in relationship",
    but there is no evidence that there is an actual guy they are involved. For one girl (warm approach) I was sure, and for another girl
    I have not approached yet, but I see her from time to time in the field, she mentions that "she is in relationship, since last year" or whatever, and she dates guys, she talks with lots of men....I don't think that these girls are in state to be approached and they are both looking for attention.
    So, do both girls lie about their relationship status? Isn't that stupid?

    Here is technique I use: whatever I want to repeat discussing about the same girl, then the chances that she is a Validation Whore increase (or perhaps she is an 100% Validation Junkie).

  • #2
    Lots of possibilities:

    1) There is no guy, and they're using the "relationship" stasus to shield against sexual advances while collecting attention and orbiters.

    2) There are guys, but it's mainly sex. So you won't see them together doing "coupley" things...etc

    3)Just a way to protect her ego from being seen as "single and sad".

    4) She does have a guy but being a girl, that doesn't stop her wanting more attention.

    That covers it i reckon.

    Peace

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    • #3
      There are girls who deliver stuff like detailed description of their BF (where he works etc), coupled with "he is gonna beat your ass" (which is a true winner). These girls are to be believed, but girls who change their relationship status from time to time belong in another category...

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      • #4
        That's a pre-emptive frame. They are giving themselves the freedom of any possible choice in regard to the guys ( works with AFCs ..

        If you go after these the best way to reframe their pre-emptive frame is to totally ignore it. If she brings it up you shortly acknowledge it "Oh, yes, that's cool" and then proceed with your plan like her words would be air.

        At the first signs of attention whoring you freeze her out, cut the communication with her and that takes away from her the motivation to be an attention whore with you.

        THAT gives you at least as much choice as to them the pre-emptive frame.

        Anyway for sure in this group of girls there are many, many very complicated and totally messed up girls..

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        • #5
          In my experience, these (the girls who behave like the ones in my initial post) are really bad targets. They are a pain in the arse actually... I am grateful for the help I was given in this thread.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by pitcooper View Post
            In my experience, these (the girls who behave like the ones in my initial post) are really bad targets. They are a pain in the arse actually... I am grateful for the help I was given in this thread.
            You are not asking the right questions. Examples:

            a) What is it about me that would make them announce that their (imaginary or not) boyfriend will beat my ass?

            b) What does my target selection look like if I get more than one girl who claims to have an imaginary boyfriend?

            c) How do I know they are making it up? Am I just projecting my experiences and feelings onto them?

            d) Why do I care if they have a boyfriend or not (be he real or imaginary)?

            e) Why do I waste my time stalking them on facebook in regards to their boyfriends (be they real or not)?

            and so on.

            This is completely redundant. Either escalate more, be a better man or chose better targets.

            Nick

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            • #7
              ...a clear mind-this is what we all need. I always wanted to screen better but I don't know the right techniques...but this is another issue.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by pitcooper View Post
                In my experience, these (the girls who behave like the ones in my initial post) are really bad targets. They are a pain in the arse actually... I am grateful for the help I was given in this thread.
                Yes they ARE very bad targets. In my opinion it is much better to sarge girls who donīt do this. The reason they do it, is that the need for emotional validation and the degree of manipulation of these girl is there for a need of discharging on the guy big inner issues.. and that reason is very often unconscious to those girls themselves in a word they are a pain in the ass and do not know it themselves.

                So WHY spend energy so much instead of directing the ship towards better seas?

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                • #9
                  I once knew an attention whore who was constantly chasing me, flirting, giving IOIs, asking me to dance, etc.

                  When I first saw her at a house party, I instantly knew she was an attention whore. So I ignored her. You know what she did? She came up to me eventually after seeing me with other girls, opened ME, and then told me she had a boyfriend. She also had a very bad memory so the next time she saw me she did the same thing, came up to me, opened me, and told me about her boyfriend while she was rubbing my leg and flirting with me.

                  She danced with me that first time, said she wanted to party aallll night long till 6am, grinded with me for a little bit, then went into the kitchen, got a drink, the stormed outside, quickly leaving the scene. These chicks are VERY manipulative and can only be dealt with by giving as little attention as possible. I doubt even worth fucking. She was like an empty fake shell of a person.

                  They will also try other types of jealousy plotlines to get attention, like dancing with you then dancing with another guy, dancing with you and bringing another guy in to dance with BOTH of you, etc.

                  Can you believe that? Pre-emptively approaching ME to give ME the boyfriend line. Now THAT is an validation seeker! lol.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Power-Factor View Post
                    I once knew an attention whore who was constantly chasing me, flirting, giving IOIs, asking me to dance, etc.

                    When I first saw her at a house party, I instantly knew she was an attention whore. So I ignored her. You know what she did? She came up to me eventually after seeing me with other girls, opened ME, and then told me she had a boyfriend. She also had a very bad memory so the next time she saw me she did the same thing, came up to me, opened me, and told me about her boyfriend while she was rubbing my leg and flirting with me.

                    She danced with me that first time, said she wanted to party aallll night long till 6am, grinded with me for a little bit, then went into the kitchen, got a drink, the stormed outside, quickly leaving the scene. These chicks are VERY manipulative and can only be dealt with by giving as little attention as possible. I doubt even worth fucking. She was like an empty fake shell of a person.

                    They will also try other types of jealousy plotlines to get attention, like dancing with you then dancing with another guy, dancing with you and bringing another guy in to dance with BOTH of you, etc.

                    Can you believe that? Pre-emptively approaching ME to give ME the boyfriend line. Now THAT is an validation seeker! lol.
                    I have experienced similar things and a very similar behavior... They want guys to lose their sleep for attention.

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