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Listening only what I am expecting

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  • Listening only what I am expecting

    This is about a problem that I've noticed already a long time, but now I decided it is time to fix. It affects social life, in general, including PUA, school/work and etc. Since it also affects PUA, maybe any of you have experience overcoming it.

    Problem: in a conversation, I pick/process information only from what I am expecting to listen, or in other words, I process new information very slowly.

    Examples (real ones):

    me: So, I've heard you have been in Australia.
    colleague: Yes, I stayed 1 year in Melbourne.
    me: How long did you stay there?

    me: Is it going to be your 1st marathon?
    friend: No, I am running half-marathon. I will run it by the 2nd time.
    me: You are running the marathon or the half-marathon?

    me: I saw you leaving very early yesterday.
    HBNeighbor: Yes, I have classes in XXX city.
    me: Ahh, then it was you -> picked a new topic totally unrelated topic, when I should have picked the topic her classes or XXX city.

  • #2
    You seem to be able to understand what was said after the fact. Is this an issue of nerves or are you just unable to comprehend what you're hearing in real time? In either case, you might do well to slow down a bit, breathe slower, and deliver a calm, collected response. I'd be interested in hearing more about what's going on and what conditions or actions help this situation or make it worse.


    • #3
      Thx Sgt... I am not sure what is root of the problem. Anyways, I like your advice and it also converges with what is being discussed in other threads: