It's a game! It's a game! NO!.. It's sex talk (the sexual question "game")

[bukowski_merit]

Ok. I’m sure I’m going to get some people who think this is a bad idea, but it’s worked for me with great effect! That doesn’t mean I’m not open to criticism; which is partially why I’m posting this. I’m also open to ideas on how to tighten it up. More than once – I’ve gone from online website to hotel without ever talking to a woman on the phone or meeting them in person. I use this “game” as a precursor to this.

It’s simple:

1. Get a few messages going with a woman online. I normally drop a few sexual innuendos in there.
2. After 3-5 messages – I get her number (I always mention that I have a game I want to play while asking for the number).
3. She SHOULD inquire about the game. If she doesn’t - I’ll bring it up to her. I’ll say, “let’s play a little game real quick to speed up this process.” She’ll say something to the effect of “ok” or “what kind of game is this?”
4. I send the following 2 messages which I have saved In my “drafts” on my cell phone:

   Ok, so it’s a basic question and answer game. I ask a question – you answer and ask me a question back. I’m sure you’ve played this before. But there’s categories: 1) Basic. 2) Favorites. 3) Sex/Romance.

   We go in rounds and in order. Category 1, then category 2, then 3. Every 3^rd round has no rules. Understand all this?

After that - she should say, "yes" and then move on to the game.


Now some notes/tips (in no order):

1. I’ve never had a woman say “no” to this game since I added the “romance” part to the 3^rd category. When I first started playing it, I just said “sex” and had some resistance from women on playing. I only include the “romance” part in the pitch though. When it comes time to ask the question though, I say “alright, it’s time for sex”. (when I ask the first question, I say, “it’s time for basic”, when I ask the second question, I say, “it’s time for favorite”, when I ask the third question, I say, “it’s time for sex.”)
2. I find it’s better to pitch this game at night on a weekday/sunday. The reason for this is – they normally aren’t working or out at this time, so they can focus more on the Q&A session. (if they have kids – I’ll wait until 10 or so).
3. Right before we start, i say: "Top or bottom?" Meaning "You go first or me?" - Just like asking the former better than the later.
4. My goal when talking to women from online is to get a first meet date at a hotel. That’s why it’s important to get her talking about sex through text. Just starting to talk about it hasn’t been nearly as effective as giving her an excuse to talk about it disguised as a game. This game also is not as effective when done on the phone (I’ve done it a few times and it just doesn’t get the same results.)
5. That's not to say you should ruin rapport to bring up the game. I've done this before and it sucks. Bring up the game (if she doesn't) once the initial conversation is fading a bit.
6. Throughout our texts, I’ll occasionally drop one of the following (credit: Franco; I think): “you might be too much of a good girl for me.” Or, “I might be too much of a bad guy for you.” (this makes her qualify herself to me almost every time.) I will do this anytime I feel like she’s not opening up right, or that she’s being resistant to an idea/question.
7. Sometimes before we play the game - the woman will ask if there’s a prize. I’ll say, “yes, the loser has to buy the bottle of wine when we meet.” There is no winners or losers though. I just say that. If she asks who won when it’s over – I’ll always say I did. If she doesn’t – I don’t mention it.
8. If you play this for years like I have – you’re naturally going to be better at asking interesting questions and giving interesting answers. Women pick up on this, and they’ll know why, which is a good thing. Good example of a question I regularly use: "What is something you thought you wouldn't like but did? And, something you thought you would like but didn't?"
9. It's important to NOT us "woman"/"girl" or be vague. If she asks "What's your favorite position. Don't say

   I really like the woman on top.

   or

   I really like Doggy

   instead say

   I like when your face is down in the pillow and your ass is up in the air. I'll put my hands on your lower back and push down a bit to arch your butt up even more...

   See - I'm putting her directly into the answer. She'll normally follow and do the same.
10. Your focus shouldn't be much on her answers (only so to calibrate.) It should be more on giving good answers yourself. Answers that show you're sexual. Answers that show you're experienced. Answers that make you sound Secret Society. Paying too much attention to her answers - will normally bore me.
11. It’s important to lead her into being more open by giving better "more detailed/freaky/open" answers to her questions. I can’t tell you the number of women who seem like good girls when they first start answering the sexual question – who suddenly start answering like a slut when you do too.
12. It's important to calibrate. If your first sexual question to a girl who's acting slightly reserved is "Have you ever had a threesome" That's bad calibration. She has no idea yet if she can answer that truthfully. Better to save question like those until you've shown you are experienced, wild, etc. Starting out - mirror her level of freakiness, and escalate from there.
13. I think it works mostly on women you've never meant before; it's VERY ideal for women you meet online. I've never played it with a girl I've meant out. I've also never played it once i've had sex with a woman. It's sole purpose to me - is to get girls i've meant online talking and thinking about sex (with me.)
14. Most women know what the game is about. It's not about the "basic" or "favorite" questions... It's 100% about the sex questions. But just like how you can make an excuse for a woman to come back to your room - the "basic" and "favorite" questions are her excuse to play the "innocent" game....
15. Allow and encourage follow up comments and questions. You do this by doing it yourself. A real life example (she asked me about my thoughts on relationships; i answered):

    Woman: Oh, so you don't like to be tied down? - - -

    Me: With rope? No! Sorry. I'll tie you down though and give you a little spanking. - - -

    Woman: What if i want a big one? - - -

    Me: You'll have to do something really bad. - - -

    Woman: Like what? - - -

    Me: If i have to tell you - you're never going to be bad enough to deserve that spanking.

16. If she runs out of questions or the game seems to be running out of steam – end it, but keep the sexual tension high. Like this:

    Woman: Hmm... I'm drawing a blank here on what to ask you

    Me: I tell you what, i'll drive there and whisper some ideas into your ear.

    Woman: I don't think we'd be playing this game anymore if you did that.

    Me: No, i'd be biting your neck. Or nibbling on your earlobe. Which one do you prefer?

    Woman: Whoa! You got it with your first guess. I'm blushing.

17. If you play this at night - it's important to have some kind of comfort conversation in the morning. I've gotten buyer's remorse from women after playing this game before. They get caught up at night and reveal stuff and feel "dirty" about it the next day when they wake up.
18. If possible: You should push for the meet soon after this game ends. If she rejects - back off and see if she chases. If she doesn't - and it seems dead. At least you got experience playing this game.

I know one of the biggest drawbacks to this is that you lose some of your mysteriousness. But I haven't found that to hurt things much.

That's about it. Comments, questions, criticisms, ways to improve this - welcome

[Solus]

Once you get on to category 3 do you have to move back to the other categories or do they just tend to get forgotten?

[bukowski_merit]

Once you get on to category 3 do you have to move back to the other categories or do they just tend to get forgotten?

It typically goes:
Rd 1: Basic, Favorite, Sex
Rd 2: Basic, Favorite, Sex
Rd 3: Sex, Sex, Sex (mostly; sometimes teh women fuck it up and ask non-sex questions here)

After that - you just make up whatever rules you want. I make up rules all the time; sometimes i tell her she broke some rule that never existed and then say

"that's ok though; i like when bad women break the rules...give me a reason to spank them."

One time it was rd. 3 and we had both asked 3 questions. I then asked a sex question. She answered but said,

"hey, aren't we going back to basics?"

And i said, "

I forgot to tell you Rd. 3 is 6 questions long :P"

I think they know I'm making this stuff up; but they go with it.

Just wing it man; whatever feels right...

Note though: There's some benefit to it not just being sex sex sex.... It allows for a natural kind of push-pull to occur... It allows her to anticipate the "good part" of the game... It also can help her feel more comfortable talking about the dirty stuff.

[SeductiKon]

So some questions, why a hotel and not your place? Is it because of the stigma attached to "your place", or because it's safer and more discreet to meet in a hotel? I ask because if I'm paying rent for a nice place in a nice fun neighborhood with a super comfortable queen bed, I really don't want to pay for a hotel stay. And of course, I'm assuming you pay for the entire hotel stay, or do you split it? To me, paying for the hotel seems worse then going the traditional fancy dinner dating courtship route, at least that (should) lead to your place (and probably cost less?).

Also, you kinda confused me when you said you had one of those messages saved as a draft on your phone, and then you say this doesn't work on the phone (are these messages being sent online through your phone? or do you simply mean that you're texting them and not calling them?)

[bukowski_merit]

So some questions, why a hotel and not your place? Is it because of the stigma attached to "your place", or because it's safer and more discreet to meet in a hotel? I ask because if I'm paying rent for a nice place in a nice fun neighborhood with a super comfortable queen bed, I really don't want to pay for a hotel stay. And of course, I'm assuming you pay for the entire hotel stay, or do you split it? To me, paying for the hotel seems worse then going the traditional fancy dinner dating courtship route, at least that (should) lead to your place (and probably cost less?).

1. Because my current living conditions do not allow for me to bring home many women.
2. Even when they improve in January - I may still take the hotel route.
3. I understand all that you say, and that all this doesn't really have a lot to do with the game. I just mentioned it because it's important to understand my goal may be different than yours. You're absolutely fine having her meet up at your place (or go out if you like) and fucking her in that queen size bed.
4. The way i do this is - I pay for first night - she pays for second.

Also, you kinda confused me when you said you had one of those messages saved as a draft on your phone, and then you say this doesn't work on the phone (are these messages being sent online through your phone? or do you simply mean that you're texting them and not calling them?)

Oh, I can see how you would be confused. I meant physically talking to them on the phone. This game is played through text.

I have a ton of questions programed into my head. I also know the answers to just about any question the woman is going to ask. However, early on - when i tried to play this game over the phone - the women would be so unprepared to ask and answer questions - the game just didn't go as well. Giving them 5-10 minutes to think up their Q's and A's is optimal imo. It can also be played through whatever dating site you're contacting them through (or email) but i prefer not to risk the mid-game "ok, im getting off here" break in rapport. But it's entirely up to you.

[bukowski_merit]

So I wanted to demonstrate this game in full effect here so you can see more clearly how it works out.

So I honestly didn’t think this girl was going to give me her number when I asked. She was being short with me; and it didn’t seem to have much momentum. But when I asked – she gave it to me.

Easily one of the best looking girls on POF that I’ve gamed. 22; Italian (but looks closer to Puerto Rican); Marilyn Monroe build! Huge tits, huge ass, small waist and arms. Built for porn! Face that looks so innocent but you can tell she isn’t. Etc.

So blah blahed her a bit; she was boring me; figured I’d pitch the game and see if she was interested. She was.

So
Me: Ok, so it’s a basic question and answer game. I ask a question – you answer and ask me a question back. I’m sure you’ve played this before. But there’s categories: 1) Basic. 2) Favorites. 3) Sex/Romance.
Me: We go in rounds and in order. Category 1, then category 2, then 3. Every 3rd round has no rules. Understand all this?
Her: Yes. I’m not retarded. (<typical response; sets me up perfectly for…)
Me: If you’re not retarded – then you’d understand it if I said, “Do you want top or bottom?”
Her: Yes, do I want to go first or last.
Me: Wow! Good girl, you are a bright one ;P Well?
Her: I like the top

Rd 1: Basic
Her: Ok. Basic right? Ok… How many girls have you played this game with?
Me: Enough that I don’t know. But you’re the first to ask me that question.
Me: You and I are together. It’s the summer. We’re planning a vacation. We can either go to the beach and party it up for the weekend. Or we can go the mountains; get a cabin by a lake and have a romantic weekend.
Her: I love the beach, but I’m a hopeless romantic. I’d definitely prefer the mountain getaway with you. (“with me?” IOI off the bat)

Rd 1: Favorite
Her: What’s your favorite color?
Me: Blue, because it matches my eyes.
Her: Cool, mine is green for the same reason. Most of my clothes are green because it makes my eyes stand out.
Me: You copycat! :P
Her:
Me: What’s your favorite spot on your body to have kissed? (besides the two obvious places)
Her: Hmmm… my neck
Her: And my shoulder
Her: And my inner thigh
Me: Nice! But, are you just going to keep naming each body part?
Her: Haha, no that’s it.

Rd 1: Sex
Me: So it’s time for sex. Go.
Her: Have you been with a lot of girls sexually? (Wow! First time anyone’s asked me this.)
Me: More than most guys, yeah. Maybe even more than 10 guys; I calmed down “a bit” though lol
Her: Haha well that’s good.
Me: Which part?
Her: That you’ve calmed down.
Her: And that you’re experienced
Me: Nice. So what’s something you thought you wouldn’t like but did (in bed)?
Her: Going down on a girl.
Me

Rd 2: Uhmmm; game kind of falls apart here – I go with it though.
Me: Ok, do you want to stay on top or get your ass on the bottom.
Her: I prefer top
Me: Alright go.
Her: What’s your favorite position? (wtf?)
Me: Your face down – ass up. PUSHING hard on your lower back so that your back arches. Your face in a pillow so that your moans and screams are muffled. Your hands ripping at the sheets…. Yup.
Her: Whoa baby. Hot!
Me: What’s your favorite drink that gets you in the mood?
Her: I’m always in the mood.
Me: You’re so naughty!
Her: lol I know. I don’t hide anything; maybe I should learn to do that better?
Me: Nah, and you’re talking to a pervert without a judging body in my bones. But hey, you still have to answer my question.
Her: I don’t judge either. PBR & Jager. How about you?
Me: Actually I do judge, if a girl seems to “good girl” for me, I don’t like that.
Her: Lol good girl? that’s not me
Me: Beer gives me hiccups (yes seriously). I like vodka… or wine…
Her: I love beer I can’t drink vodka.
Me: Good! When I tell a girl that she might be too good girl for me they think I’m playing hard to get. When really I don’t want to corrupt. I want the already corrupted.
Me: Well, we’d certainly be buying separate stuff from the lq! Ha… I like the taste of beer when kissing though.
Her: Hahahha exactly. I can’t have a goody good boy. I like one with experience who knows what he’s doing.
Her: You like to kiss girls who’ve been drinking beer? That’s odd, but kindda hot. I’ll be drinking beer Saturday…. Hint
Her: I can be good when I have to. Bad girls make history
Me: Yeah? Where will your lips be drinking beer?
Me: Bad girls make history and my dick hard.
Her: A lesbian bar. There’s almost nothing but butch women there though, so I won’t be going home with any. I just go there to avoid all the “hey mami, can I talk to you?” guys. And run into the occasional woman I want to fuck.
Her: hahaha that’s hot! I have a thing for boners.




---

Ok… From here I set up for us to meet. She doesn’t have a car, so I’m going to pick her up Saturday night and we’re going to a hotel.




---

From here we weaved in and out of the conversation and the game; she starts qualifying herself to me BIG time… Anything I say I like in a woman – she makes sure to make it known she has it… Some other notes:

Her: I’ve only been with a Puerto Rican and White Guy.

Me: What the fuck? Just one of each?

Her: lol stfu! You know what I meant.

Her: I’ve had my share of hits and splits.

Me: Not more than me! But I’ve had my shares of hits and stay the night, week, month, year as well.

Her: haha me too.

Her: But I mostly do to guys what they do to women. We fuck all night, I act like I’m in love with them. They fall for me. Then I never talk to them again. It’s fun and I get revenge on them for us ladies.

If that’s not a bow-tied early Christmas present of an early frame announcement – I don’t know what is!

Only other part of the game worth mentioning; it was my turn, so I pulled one of my favorites out:

Me: So we’re finishing up some foreplay. We’re kissing a little. I’m biting your neck, and kissing your shoulder. I whisper in your ear “Get ready. I’m about to fuck you really rough!” What are you expecting?

Her: You to rip my clothes off, and throw me down, and slap my face, and yank on my hair, pinning my arms down, and hopefully fucking my head through the headboard and wall!

WTF? Are you kidding me? Lol…
---


Towards the end of the night: At her request - we exchanged semi-dirty pics (basically showing the outline of my dick in boxers and my body; her sending me tits shots; and ones of her playing with herself but you can't see her pussy). Her DD tits look so young. No sign of a hair anywhere on her body except her head.

Saturday will be fun.... Just have to figure out how to fuck a girl so hard her head goes through the headboard and wall and how much the hotel will charge me for that! lol

----

Just an example fellas.

[RawDawg]

I tried this game last night on one of my dates. It was pretty fun. I didn't do it via text message though. I actually wrote down different questions and the categories. I did basics, adventure/passion, and sex/romance. I'm not sure how it went, although she seemed to like the game. I brought it up when the conversation seemed to die down a little. It was hard to keep talking after I found out, she doesn't kiss very much, and thinks she's probably a bad kisser, and also, I found out she only had 2 boyfriends (3 months each?) and has never come. She seemed to enjoy it though, but we'll see if I get a second meeting..

[NiccoloDaVinci]

If you ever find the time, I'd love for you to write a post on "How to fuck a woman the rough way" bukowski_merit.

Nick

[tryhard]

bukowski_merit - I assume this is in conjunction with a sexed-up profile as per your other post?

Best,
tryhard

MOD EDIT Nick: tryhard, I bumped this up because I thought it could use some more attention. The OP is from November 2011.

[hangman]

Excellent post. If you replace texting with talking-on-the-phone, I have tested this many times. You are absolutely right that for some reason girls seem to want to bypass the whole date thing and just want to get to sex right away, when you run this "routine".

This post belongs better in general, because this approach is not restricted to online. The big difference in real life is that you absolutely have to set up a (potential) sexual/romantic connection vibe on first meet - otherwise it is incongruent. For online, the fact that she is talking to you is already an indication that she sees a potential sexual connection, so the frame is already set, and the game is already half-way to finishline.

Nowadays my text game is just pitching for the meet right away in some crude/funny way - partly because I have no patience and partly because all my charm is lost on the Italian chicks who don't speak English well.

But yeah, I fully endorse this method.

I’m sure I’m going to get some people who think this is a bad idea, ...

... and they would be wrong.

[bukowski_merit]

If you ever find the time, I'd love for you to write a post on "How to fuck a woman the rough way" bukowski_merit.

Nick

I'm kind of terrible at sex at the moment. I'm pretty sure it's because i don't care about these women I'm laying; I don't plan on seeing them again - so my sex these days is pretty vanilla (hard but vanilla). I'm ok with that; a nut is a nut is a nut...

In my eyes - rough sex is only great if it's authentic; otherwise - it's just 2 people playing roles. I've abused the fuck out of some women in bed; and for the most part - they deserved it. They brought the fangs out...... And from there - the teeth marks just kind of do their own thing.

bukowski_merit - I assume this is in conjunction with a sexed-up profile as per your other post?

Yeah, but the sexed up profile doesn't require this game, and this game doesn't require a sexed up profile; they just compliment each other well. Since I'm banned from POF - I used MyYearBook as an alternative; and I used it with women from there without having any kind of profile (just 1 stupid picture). I know a lot of people hate it there, and my lay ratio is awful there; but it certainly is a reality check for guys to see just how HORRIBLE most men are at talking to women (in any form!)

Excellent post. If you replace texting with talking-on-the-phone, I have tested this many times.

That's interesting. I've done this a few times on the phone, and the women all become a lot worse at coming up with questions; which fucks everything up (although, does give me plenty of opportunity to tease them.) There is the advantage of being able to use voice tone, and being able to hear when her voice starts to get "shaky". Perhaps I will play around with it some more with more "advanced" women....

2 distinct advantage text has is that it allows them to think of questions easier, and you to think of more interesting answers (but this is less important on the phone when a lot of the communication will be non-verbal); and you can play this with multiple women at once. Although, that can get both boring and overwhelming.

The big difference in real life is that you absolutely have to set up a (potential) sexual/romantic connection vibe on first meet - otherwise it is incongruent.

This is a very good point. If you were to meet a woman out without being the sexual threat; get her number, and then try this with her - it would be incongruent. Unless.... It was just some real quick "don't have time but i had to get your number" type thing... Then maybe there's no congruency expectations... I've never tried the game with a woman I've meant in real life first in real life...

For online, the fact that she is talking to you is already an indication that she sees a potential sexual connection, so the frame is already set, and the game is already half-way to finishline.

Good point.

Nowadays my text game is just pitching for the meet right away in some crude/funny way - partly because I have no patience and partly because all my charm is lost on the Italian chicks who don't speak English well.

haha... understood; and nothing's wrong with using text that way...

Just another option for those of us like me that like to talk... although I run into patience problems and becoming bored with the same questions all the damn time! ("what's your favorite position" etc.)..

Thanks

[Gaarth]

Just tried this game online with a couple of women, I can't believe how many fantasies came out before I even meet these women. 3 total women, 1 left the convo when it got too sexual, the other two both asked me when I could come over and show them for real. One of them said she came just talking with me. 2 meetups in the next 2 days just having fun with the game. It works.

[hangman]

That's interesting. I've done this a few times on the phone, and the women all become a lot worse at coming up with questions; which fucks everything up (although, does give me plenty of opportunity to tease them.) There is the advantage of being able to use voice tone, and being able to hear when her voice starts to get "shaky". Perhaps I will play around with it some more with more "advanced" women....

Its usually her level of comfort about it that is the probelm, not the fact that she can't think of questions.

If you don't go into the questions too early, start off with a question that sets the direction, have open conversation after each question, do not take "no, i am too shy" for an answer (afterall you are trying to find out about each other) it should work. I can't think of a time when I got into a stalemate situation in this.

Your judgment about whether she is ready for the questions has value- trust it! If she is too coy, it is a red flag.

It is not rare that girls will start telling you about how wet they are. One time one girl asked me to stop talking for a few seconds because apparently my voice was making her too horny. Another one stayed up on a weeknight till late in the morning, masturbating on the phone. It sounds like a lot of work to me now to be talking on the phone at night for a couple of hours, but at the time it was all an experiment to me and I was fascinated by it.

Women love phone sex.

[bukowski_merit]

Just tried this game online with a couple of women, I can't believe how many fantasies came out before I even meet these women. 3 total women, 1 left the convo when it got too sexual, the other two both asked me when I could come over and show them for real. One of them said she came just talking with me. 2 meetups in the next 2 days just having fun with the game. It works.

Yeah, i call girls who stop the game without wanting "drop outs"... These women normally have something to hide or aren't as sexual (at least that's what i tell myself in my head when nexting them). So no biggie there.

But good results. Now if you turned them into lays, even better! If they're that into it though - I'd push for same day meetup (if possible).

Its usually her level of comfort about it that is the probelm, not the fact that she can't think of questions.

If you don't go into the questions too early, start off with a question that sets the direction, have open conversation after each question, do not take "no, i am too shy" for an answer (afterall you are trying to find out about each other) it should work. I can't think of a time when I got into a stalemate situation in this.

Your judgment about whether she is ready for the questions has value- trust it! If she is too coy, it is a red flag.

It is not rare that girls will start telling you about how wet they are. One time one girl asked me to stop talking for a few seconds because apparently my voice was making her too horny. Another one stayed up on a weeknight till late in the morning, masturbating on the phone. It sounds like a lot of work to me now to be talking on the phone at night for a couple of hours, but at the time it was all an experiment to me and I was fascinated by it.

Women love phone sex.

I pretty much agree with all that. I guess not doing it on the phone is also personal bias and a few bad experiences.

I think i've played it 4 times on the phone, and 3 of them ran into the problem of having to think too long on questions... We still played the game though; and it was very hot to hear their voice changes, etc. When they were getting turned on into semi-phone sex territory. I don't know if i layed any of them though because... well... i lose track of such things lol... name's are forgotten as quickly as the numbers... the bodies and smiles are not though...

perhaps i try it again soon, with a more open mind... and report back...

oh and the 1 out of 4, was pretty good and had questions on the ball... but after she told me she only liked guys with dicks 10 inches or longer (and she said it so nonchalantly) and that's mostly what she'd been with. i kindda lost my desire to talk to her! Either she was trolling me, overestimating the size of the men she was typically with, or completely lucky... This was pretty early in my online fucker history... so i didn't even call her on it; or care to!

[hangman]

oh and the 1 out of 4, was pretty good and had questions on the ball... but after she told me she only liked guys with dicks 10 inches or longer (and she said it so nonchalantly) and that's mostly what she'd been with. i kindda lost my desire to talk to her! Either she was trolling me, overestimating the size of the men she was typically with, or completely lucky... This was pretty early in my online fucker history... so i didn't even call her on it; or care to!

You failed a shit-test.

Unless her ex-bfs were all the biggest porn stars, she is babbling nonsense. I'd have told her that I have the world's smallest penis, that it was soooo small that every time I pee, I end up soaking my balls.

Credit: Dave Chappelle. Who else?