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Women do not have it any easier...

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  • Women do not have it any easier...

    A lot of dudes complain (specially in anti game forums), but the reality is that women do not necessarily have it easier, i met with a girl online (she was into me, skinny with f boobs, but no ass, so i passed)... but during the meeting she show me her emails, she had tons and tons, but dudes were creepers, or not game, or overly playerish, requesting sex, etc...
    https://medium.com/@sarahjukes/tinder-has-a-no-man-s-land-85e4bbeeefcf

    "Tinder has a no-manís land.


    And the experiment I did to prove it.

    There is no question that Tinder is a game-changer. It has completely turned dating on its head. Whether you believe in the ĎTinder Generationí or what Vanity Fair said recently about the dawning of a dating apocalypse, the dating landscape has changed and thanks primarily to dating apps like Tinder.

    When a piece of technology comes along and disrupts the way people do things, it needs time for people to work out what it all means. That is exactly what is happening out there right now. No one knows what the fuck theyíre doing. Dating apps have changed dating so dramatically, by way of opening up opportunity, choice, speed and access like never before.

    I quit dating over the summer because, well, because dating fucking sucks. If you say you like dating, youíre a liar. No one likes it. In this city, everyone is too busy and everyone thinks they can do better. I donít care who you are, what you look like or how awesome you think your apartment is. Dating is hard for everyone.

    I quit dating because for the effort I was putting in, I wasnít seeing the kind of return that made me want to keep doing it. Modern dating is about looking for the bad in people, not the good. I do it too. One guy I dated had these ears that pinned back funny and looked like they were stapled to his head. Maybe they were? I can list every superficial bad thing about that guy, and probably say minimal about his character or potential as a partner. Why has it come to this?

    In the absence of any real feedback in the dating world, I crawl into my empty bed on another Saturday night and think, why is it always like this? It is my age? Is it me? Is it the city? Instead of hating all over Tinder and blaming it for my non-existent dating life, I decided to run a Tinder experiment instead.

    For backstory ó I am 37 years old, female, white, Australian and I live in Manhattan. I donít look my age but I guarantee you that every 37 year old single woman in this city will tell you the same thing. Iíve been married before, been divorced for many years and have no desire to marry again. The idea of having any kind of family of my own dropped off my radar a long time ago. I have dated for years and always with the same intention ó I want to be in an exclusive relationship.

    Hereís how my Tinder experiment played out.
    1. I deleted my old Tinder account. And by that I meant that I didnít just delete the app from my phone, I deleted my account proper and deleted the app connection on Facebook, just to make sure.
    2. I created a new Tinder profile. The same as my old one and with my real age of 37 years.
    3. I picked a specific day and time (Saturday, 10am) and swiped right on the first 500 profiles. Youíd be surprised how little time it takes to swipe right on 500 profiles. But I did have to pay for the unlimited version of Tinder for the privilege to do so.
    4. I waited 48 hours, came back and tallied up how many matches swiped right back, how many messaged me and I recorded the ages for both.
    5. I repeated the same thing a week later, but with my age set to 27 years. I used a different phone number, a fake Facebook account and I swiped right on the first 500 profiles. Only this time I set my age to 10 years younger ó 27. I kept everything about my profile exactly the same, including the discovery settings. I waited 48 hours and tallied the results.
    [IMG]https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/600/1*k_DtnbDJNllFZyJw_J2wfA.png[/IMG][IMG]https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/600/1*hK-gi-cVAYNpIbSCpCwvTw.png[/IMG]Grabs from my (real) Tinder profileThe results

    The results showed that, not surprisingly, I got a much higher right swipe rate when my age was 27 compared to 37, and I got significantly more messages too. At age 37, I matched with 71% of right swipes. At 27 that number sky-rocketed to 92%.

    By far the more interesting stat was the dramatic difference in the average age of who swiped right and messaged me, relative to my Tinder age. The higher my Tinder age, the younger the average age of the Tinder match. [IMG]https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/800/1*yRQX7QqqESp1s9KlnmVjOA.png[/IMG]The higher my Tinder age, the lower the average age of the Tinder match
    I wasnít expecting to see such a dramatic difference. It proves the point that younger men are initially interested in older women and that men my age overwhelmingly want younger women.

    This is in line with my real life experiences too. Younger men tell me they appreciate the maturity of older women. In their eyes older women are independent, got their shit together, established, know what they want, and can really be sexy. They also tell me that women their age (~25 years old) are boring, immature and crazy. What does this all mean?

    Ageism in dating isnít new. Itís been around long before Tinder existed. Tinder just amplifies it. Since I turned 35, the entire dating landscape has changed. Itís got a whole lot fucking harder.

    The biggest difficulty I have is that the men I want to date, men my age, donít want to date me. Instead they chase much younger women. That came out in my Tinder experiment too ó I got such little interest from men my own age. Youíre a 37-year-old single guy in New York? Well, well, well! Go clean up then! You are sky-high on every womanís demand list. But a 37 year old single girl in New York? Oh. Well, shit. Good luck with that. Because itís not the fucking same. My male peers have an infinite pool to choose from, they can form relationships with younger women if they choose to and all is dandy.

    I too can chase younger men. Only instead of everything being dandy like it is for my male counterparts, dating younger men when youíre my age comes with an age gap so vast, it is insurmountable. It cannot ever be breached.

    It doesnít matter how mature, stable, interesting, whether youíre in your sexual prime, how ballerina-perfect your body is or how young you look, a younger guy might like to brag to his friends about bagging an older woman, but no younger guy wants to bring home an older woman to meet the parents. And thatís the fucking truth.

    The obvious answer is to go after men who would consider me as dating or relationship material. Thatís men roughly 10 years older than me, in the 45+ age bracket.

    Older men come with any combination of downsides that I find hard to tolerate ó namely dad bods, viagra, ex-wives and teenage children. Theyíre often set in their ways and arenít truly open to trying new things. They want Netflix and chill, six out of seven nights a week. Boring. As. Fuck. Many are actively chasing a second (or third) marriage or they have never married. They are the ĎIíll never settleí types that consider three months as a serious long-term relationship. The men 45+ that arenít like this are in super high demand.

    This is what I mean by Tinder no-manís land. I am too old for younger men to consider me seriously, too old for men my age to even get a date, and Iím not interested in men 10+ years older. I donít fit in. Iím stuck.

    Thereís another explanation for my lack of dating success. Forget about age or Tinder experiments ó that the problem is with me. After all I am the common denominator in all of this. Maybe I donít date well? I say the wrong thing, bat above my league, set my expectations too high. Am I too thin? Maybe I intimidate. Not smart enough? Too blonde, too foreign? Boring, closed, hard to get to know?

    More likely is the cynicism I carry around for dating. Itís a chip on my shoulder for my lack of previous success, an ĎI care but really I donítí attitude and a frustration at not getting what I want. I can try to suppress it, but it has to shine through at some point. I am the ugly duckling that turned into a graceful and firey swan. One incapable of convincing that she might actually be beautiful enough.

    I have two options. I could continue dating much younger men, knowing full well there is zero long term potential and it will fizzle out within 2Ė5 dates. Or I could go for the dad bods, the slobs and the viagra, the perpetual players or second-wife hunters that is dating men 45 years and older. Given those two options, what would you choose?

    This is why I donít date anymore. Opting out altogether is the simplest option right now. I accept that there is no best fit for me in the current dating landscape. I sit firmly within Tinder and datingís no-manís land. At least by removing myself from it entirely, it gives me the freedom to no longer have to wallow there."

  • #2
    She's 37 and desperately looking for a provider...let's take a look at the evidence:
    - huge list of demands;
    - complaining about younger chicks;
    - sky-high ASD (if she was really 27, she would jump on the bed with most of those No's);
    - high ego and low self-steem (she's ok looks wise but not that hot, probably a 6-7 to most guys here);

    The biggest difficulty I have is that the men I want to date, men my age, donít want to date me. Instead they chase much younger women.
    YES. Faster sex, zero complaints, no pushing for a relationship. Win-win-win

    My male peers have an infinite pool to choose from, they can form relationships with younger women if they choose to and all is dandy.
    Yes. So can she! But what does she do??? Complain when they get interested.

    I too can chase younger men. Only instead of everything being dandy like it is for my male counterparts, dating younger men when youíre my age comes with an age gap so vast, it is insurmountable. It cannot ever be breached.
    Here's the answer to the above...demands, demands, demands, everything HAS to be perfect or else no sex. Fuck that!

    It doesnít matter how mature, stable, interesting, whether youíre in your sexual prime, how ballerina-perfect your body is or how young you look, a younger guy might like to brag to his friends about bagging an older woman, but no younger guy wants to bring home an older woman to meet the parents. And thatís the fucking truth.
    Total bullshit! Stay young looking and attractive and the best guys will come after you. Also what she does not recall is ALL THE GUYS SHE DUMPED AND TREATED LIKE SHIT when she was younger and sought after. No sympathy from me darling, you probably had your chance and blew it...also so much whining, fuck!

    Older men come with any combination of downsides that I find hard to tolerate ó namely dad bods, viagra, ex-wives and teenage children. Theyíre often set in their ways and arenít truly open to trying new things. They want Netflix and chill, six out of seven nights a week. Boring. As. Fuck. Many are actively chasing a second (or third) marriage or they have never married. They are the ĎIíll never settleí types that consider three months as a serious long-term relationship. The men 45+ that arenít like this are in super high demand.
    Now she complains about older man. Damn!

    No-man's land my ass - she could have sex and established some awesome relationships today if she wanted!!!

    She is the problem, she just does not want to see it (this is why I usually don't date chicks between 30 and 40 when I do online).

    Comment


    • #3
      That's why men tend to avoid 30ish women. The list of whining and demands is quite a turn-off

      Comment


      • #4
        Im gonna do the much hated evolutionary psychology spin on this, with a pinch of dr.phil on top!

        Swiping generalization/simplification;
        Girls bore easily in relationships, leading to them always chasing the man type they didnt have/control yet, in hopes that it was something wrong with the men they had until then.. As they play this game, the list of 'deal breakers' only grows and grows. Finding ways to explain why every male-type they tried before isnt 'right' for them....

        Evo-psych:
        Human nature is ill suited for the modern day family arrangement. Humans are evolved for 'hunter gatherer' life style. (Food, exercise level - yes obviously, but also things like family life, social life, working life!) Static/farm-dwelling non-nomadic lifestyle sort of wears on us in certain areas, because we are evolved/'designed' for a more dynamic lifestyle. Not fully as bad, but a little bit like wild animals caged up in a zoo..

        Dr. Phil;
        Why is it the girl who (usually) freaks out first? Well lets stay with animals, like typical pets.. if they have an interesting toy to bite on/play with, they generally wont attack the furniture or pee in the corners...

        Interestingly, it seems the woman fills the toy role for the man to some degree.. maybe due to the challenge of keeping other men off her.. a sort of perpetual mating dance and claiming of territory, keeping him somewhat occupied/engaged... For her on the other hand, 'mating rituals' are pretty much done and done, once one male is selected and nest is built. Sex on its own is only exciting for so long.. So what is her cat toy going to be?? How to avoid gradual insanity from boredom..

        (And if the man takes interest in other females.. that flips things the other way around. Thats like the first chapter in the PU primer.)

        Comment


        • #5
          High-value woman misjudges her date of expiry, finds out what it's like to be an AFC.

          Originally posted by POB View Post
          [ what she does not recall is ALL THE GUYS SHE DUMPED AND TREATED LIKE SHIT when she was younger and sought after. No sympathy from me darling, you probably had your chance and blew it..
          Chances. I bet she turned down at least ten guys over the years who actually did meet her stringent criteria. Now she wants a do-over.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by DNYC View Post
            High-value woman misjudges her date of expiry, finds out what it's like to be an AFC.
            What's brutal for girls is that, unlike the AFC, there's little to no hope of turning things around. It only gets worse. And they're sitting on 15 years of the player lifestyle, unlike the AFC who has no reference point to begin with, so there's a "take away" aspect too. Girls have the worse deal in life by far. So glad to be a guy.

            Comment


            • #7
              Men and women in general seem to be very poor at understanding the perspective of the other sex, and all the problems they face. This woman seems to be no exception, so much grass is greener on the other side thinking. But you guys have amazing empathy for women, I think this level of understanding the other sex is extremely rare.

              I think monogamy as the norm will soon be a thing of the past by the way.

              Comment


              • #8
                Why did you post this shit?

                Either age the brod is matching 70% of the time. If she cannot find someone her own age (bullshit claim made by her) with 70% of matches then she gots problems.

                And the claim of not having it any easier is just dumb. Maybe there is some basis for it in that they have to work harder to screen their matches, but fucking click bait for titling this post that.

                Quit reading this type of garbage and meet more real girls. Like seriously dude, an article written by a women advising other women on dating, still a fucking joke.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by pureevil View Post

                  What's brutal for girls is that, unlike the AFC, there's little to no hope of turning things around. It only gets worse. And they're sitting on 15 years of the player lifestyle, unlike the AFC who has no reference point to begin with, so there's a "take away" aspect too. Girls have the worse deal in life by far. So glad to be a guy.
                  Because for a woman, getting laid is not a skill, therefore what is skillful for them is the opposite, not being an addict. This is why women these days are loaded with make up to hide their alcohol abused dried out skin - example: https://www.instagram.com/p/BWkpqCqFKeP/

                  The average city-tinder woman has no impulse control, no delayed gratification. In fact, it's the women who pass on temptations and work hard to do well in life without resorting to feminist entitlement and whining, are the ones that end up having kids around a good age (28-35) and settle into a natural simple living modern day lifestyle.

                  The more time passes by the less chance both men and women have of finding someone of high quality, because things of high quality are rare and get swooped up fast. Sluts are not high quality, alcoholics and drug abusers are not high quality, tinder addicts are not high quality.

                  High quality women aren't addicted to their cell phones, they're out hiking in nature and working on their gardens and when they have kids they turn out to be great mothers who are loyal to their husbands. The thing is, you won't find these types of women living in cities or visiting night clubs.

                  It's also these women who rarely wear make up, and aren't corrupted by SJW/Feminist bullshit, they understand nature (specifically the intuitive law of the universe, that nothing is free) and how things are done.

                  So if you're a PUA, odds are you've rarely encountered these type of high quality women, and so whether or not a woman "has it hard in the sexual market" is irrelevant. All the women in the sexual market/tinder/cities are damaged goods, they can no longer pair bond and produce natural oxytocin, thus they will never be loyal, and will always use men as tools for their entitlement. Sadly, PUAs end up creating for themselves a form selection bias, an echo-chamber bubble, without ever realizing it.

                  I used to think cities were great, now I realize the cities are the center of Neuroticism, a by-product of over-population, which is what cities are, and is where socialist/marxist/feminist propaganda comes from. It's what happens when you're so far removed from nature that you don't realize where your own food is coming from, only that it is nicely packaged for you, ready for instant gratification. As I said, nothing is free, the cost of instant gratification is sanity and happiness.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by pureevil View Post
                    What's brutal for girls is that, unlike the AFC, there's little to no hope of turning things around. It only gets worse. And they're sitting on 15 years of the player lifestyle, unlike the AFC who has no reference point to begin with, so there's a "take away" aspect too. Girls have the worse deal in life by far. So glad to be a guy.
                    Yes, kinda of agree with that. We men can turn things around with good habits and attitude (balls) at any time. They can't. Time is always against them. Even so there's no excuse for the whining.

                    What she's missing is she's STILL getting heaps of attention - at 37 and looking average!
                    Now imagine an average 37 yo guy with moderate game and her tinder numbers!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Qlue Man, why are you spewing all this negative garbage? Did one of these supposed 'damaged' women hurt you in some way in the past? You're generalizing an entire metropolitan area as a 'threat' to well-being for some reason and I think I know what it is: You're still in love

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Dating sucks for everyone who is not very attractive. Most people want either a 7 or 8 for themselves (men to bang 7-8s regularly women to get them in LTRs) to really say they are happy with their dating life. Of course 7s and 8s will only date themselves so that leaves a good 80-90% out of luck in terms of getting what they want. People in general then have a choice between lowering their standards from an attractive to an ok partner or being alone. That's a pretty tough choice to make, speaking from experience. All this talk of her being too particular in her preferences is just irrelevant.

                        The most relevant thing is that as she is 37 there is really nothing she can do to be more attractive than a 6. In that sense dating is more cruel to women since their hotness declines so steeply with age. Every man would prefer to date women 18-25 or so they are worlds apart hotter than the older counterparts, no matter how much the 37 year old works out. Yet even an unnattractive man in youth has some small chance to become rich and famous and date hotties when he's 40 or even 50+.

                        On the other hand their natural preferences adjust. If she dates an athletic successful 45 year old man then she'll be happy, but he'd feel like he's settling because he'd really prefer a hot 20 year old. So it's a tossup which gender has it more difficupt with dating, but in general anyone who is not very attractive is generally unsatisfied in some sense with their dating life, or perhaps they manage to tune it out and lower their expectations and are satisfied, but they had to force their mind into being so.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Futureproof View Post
                          Qlue Man, why are you spewing all this negative garbage? Did one of these supposed 'damaged' women hurt you in some way in the past? You're generalizing an entire metropolitan area as a 'threat' to well-being for some reason and I think I know what it is: You're still in love
                          I'd say Qlue is pretty on point with his analysis. He projects a little bit about what a quality woman is, but after you have dating a lot of city women you come to certain realizations about women that are definitely evident in what he mentioned.

                          These 18-22 year old girls are dumb as fuck. They date a lot, have no idea what they want, and eventually get pregnant or settle down into their mid twenties. By age 30 they are divorced or a single mother and they are usually in provider-hunter mode. By age 35, they don't know where their life has gone and they complain about never finding a good man. By age 40, they usually get a second wind, but by that time they are significantly less attractive and not appealing to the guys they really want to date. Eventually, they settle down into a nice arrangement with a beta professional who has a good steady job. I keep seeing this, and it makes me kinda sad.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Is that really dumb and sad? Seems like they are doing exactly the best possible thing guven the circumstances. Fuck lots of hot fun guys when they are young and attractive, settle down for a relatively fun guy once she gets to the wrong side of her 20s and her appearance is deteriorating rapidly, milk him for resources to live comfortably after her inevitable divorce after getting bored of him, and then make do with whatever combination of fucking young studs and dating older has-been men or milking more wealthy chumps they can achieve in their late 30s and beyond.

                            Not really sure what women could actually do better, in terms of their own satisfaction. They just like to complain because everybody does.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Supernova View Post
                              These 18-22 year old girls are dumb as fuck. They date a lot, have no idea what they want, and eventually get pregnant or settle down into their mid twenties. By age 30 they are divorced or a single mother and they are usually in provider-hunter mode. By age 35, they don't know where their life has gone and they complain about never finding a good man. By age 40, they usually get a second wind, but by that time they are significantly less attractive and not appealing to the guys they really want to date. Eventually, they settle down into a nice arrangement with a beta professional who has a good steady job. I keep seeing this, and it makes me kinda sad.
                              Beta empathy is a bitch.

                              I'm with Tank, its just basic economics at play. Yes city economics where options are near-endless are considerably more cutthroat than rural economies with a limited supply. Only the strong do well in a city, the competition is more fierce, the rest fall off and end up jaded or angry, while the strong are loving the endless supply. Polyamory is the baseline, not monogamy (interesting hearing this framed as a bad thing lol. Polyamory is the goal for most in this community.) No need to throw some kind of weird darkness all over this IMO.

                              The thing is, the rural beta is still very low when it comes to options, he only gets the leftover scraps of an even SMALLER pool. Beta is beta anywhere. Now. . . a city beta could perhaps go rural and find himself much closer to alpha because of his city baseline, big fish small pond style. But the rural beta is almost more fucked than the city beta because of the low supply.

                              Learn to be a superior man and none of this applies to you though.

                              Comment

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